Funny Ernest Quotes & Sayings

Mr. Morrow, IOI owns this network ... " "Of course they do!" Morrow shouted gleefully. 'The own practically everything! Including you, pretty boy! I mean did they tattoo a UPC code on your ass when they hired you to sit there and spout their corporate propaganda? — Ernest Cline

Our faith can stand up to any question, but sometimes people ask questions - and keep asking questions - just to avoid facing their own spiritual needs and acknowledging who Jesus really is. — Billy Graham

If you open that Pandora's Box you never know what Trojan 'orses will jump out. — Ernest Bevin

Not Carnegie, Vanderbilt, and Astor together could have raised money enough to buy a quarter share in my little dogs. — Ernest Thompson Seton

[O]ur thoughts and feelings are us. They are a part of ourselves. There is a temptation to look upon them, or at least some of them, as an enemy force which is trying to disturb the concentration and understanding of your mind. [...] When we have certain thoughts, we are those thoughts. We are both the guard and the visitor at the same time. We are both the mind and the observer of the mind. Therefore, chasing away or dwelling on any thought isn't the important thing. The important thing is to be aware of the thought. This observation is not an objectification of the mind: it does not establish distinction between subject and object. — Thich Nhat Hanh

A beautiful vacuum filled with wealthy monogamists, all powerful and members of the best families all drinking themselves to death. — Ernest Hemingway,

Auto racing, bull fighting, and mountain climbing are the only real sports ... all the others are games. — Ernest Hemingway,

Fuck literature. — Ernest Hemingway,

Only one marriage I regret. I remember after I got that marriage license I went across from the license bureau to a bar for a drink. The bartender said, "What will you have, sir?" And I said, "A glass of hemlock." — Ernest Hemingway,

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book. — Ernest Hemingway,

Once we realize that Jesus has served us even to the depths of our meagerness, our selfishness, and our sin, nothing we encounter from others will be able to exhaust our determination to serve others for His sake. — Oswald Chambers

I've just finished reading some of my early papers, and you know, when I'd finished I said to myself, 'Rutherford, my boy, you used to be a damned clever fellow.' (1911) — Ernest Rutherford

don't just listen to people crying, hear the reasons why they cry — Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

If your result needs a statistician then you should design a better experiment. — Ernest Rutherford

You have to understand that people feel threatened by a writer. It's very curious. He knows something they don't know. He knows how to write, and that's a subtle, disturbing quality he has. Some directors without even knowing it, resent the writer in the same way Bob Hope might resent the fact he ain't funny without twelve guys writing the jokes. The director knows the script he is carrying around on the set every day was written by someone, and that's just not something that all directors easily digest. — Ernest Lehman

The most simple way to stay encouraged is to feed your heart on what He is doing, not on what He hasn't done. If you can't see what He is doing, feed on what He has done in the past. — Bill Johnson

Boyfriend?"
Her cheeks heated. "Yes."
"Funny name."
"What?" She frowned. "Ernest is a perfectly nice name."
"Oh, I thought I heard you call him Ermine. — Nalini Singh

Men Wanted for Dangerous Expedition: Low Wages for Long Hours of Arduous Labour under Brutal Conditions; Months of Continual Darkness and Extreme Cold; Great Risk to Life and Limb from Disease, Accidents and Other Hazards; Small Chance of Fame in Case of Success. — Ernest Shackleton

If, as I have reason to believe, I have disintegrated the nucleus of the atom, this is of greater significance than the war.
[Apology to the international anti-submarine committee for being absent from several meetings during World War I.] — Ernest Rutherford

What are you doing now, you lazy drunken obscene unsayable son of an unnameable unmarried gipsy obscenity? What are you doing? — Ernest Hemingway,

It was my mom who told me, "Ernie, if you make even one person happy with your smile or a funny thing you did every day, you'll have accomplished a great deal." And that's all I've ever tried to do. — Ernest Borgnine

Nathaniel closes his eyes and jumps, his arms glued to his sides like that fly's. He doesn't try to break his fall, just hits hard, because it hurts less than everything else. — Jodi Picoult

It's funny," I said. "It's very funny. And it's a lot of fun, too, to be in love."
"Do you think so?" her eyes looked flat again.
"I don't mean fun that way. In a way it's an enjoyable feeling."
"No," she said. "I think it's hell on earth. — Ernest Hemingway,

There's this whole post-modern, nuevo beatnik, retro-bohemian thing going on, you know what I mean? You walk into some coffee shops, and it feels like you're an ex-patriot in Paris in the 20s. You're like, 'Hey, isn't that a young Ernest Hemingway over there? Yeah, I think it is! Hey, let's go have a look and see what he's writing ... It's a Gap application.' — Marc Maron