Funny Creepy Quotes & Sayings

The parents are making threatening noises, turning dinner into performance art, with dad doing his Arnold Schwarzenegger imitation and mom playing Glenn Close in one of her psycho roles. I am the Victim.
Mom: [creepy smile] "Thought you could put one over us, did you, Melinda? Big high school students now, don't need to show your homework to your parents, don't need to show any failing test grades?"
Dad: [bangs table, silverware jumps] "Cut the crap. She knows what's up. The interim reports came today. Listen to me, young lady. I'm only going to say this to you once. You get those grades up or your name is mud. Hear me? Get them up!" [Attacks baked potato.] — Laurie Halse Anderson

He once again pointed to that creepy theatrical smile. There were way too many teeth there. It made him look positively demented. — Richard E. Gropp

I don't wanna be def. Death. Dead. This Burger Twin nappykin just got served as my will, BEOTCH! The fries here suck, by the way. If I die, don't feed my son your shitty fries. Don't give my son to the creepy child molester king you put in your commercials either. What the fuck is wrong with that guy? He's got a normal body and a plastic face that is always smiley. It's not right, man. It's just not right. My ears feel funny. — Tara Sivec

That's good," Hunter said, panting. "Keep grinning at your attacker like that and they'll think you're way creepy. And mental."
I grinned wider. "I totally love this. Who can I punch next? — Alyxandra Harvey

When I said it aloud, it sounded terribly creepy, which is why I had said it aloud. — Amanda Hocking

I angle my head down and peer up at him through my lashes in what I hope is an alluring manner. I have zero experience in this area though, so it's possible I look like a total moron. — Rachel Morgan

Never mind the creepy eyes peeking in our windows at night, and following our every move as we drove around. No, that was all good, but stalking us in a grocery story? Line crossed, man. — Brandy Nacole

People are often surprised that I am so upbeat. I'm always hearing, 'You're so light and funny, and your books are so dark and twisted.' There's a dichotomy. I like books that are dark and creepy. I don't control it - it's just what I gravitate toward. — John Searles

I sneaked out to his house a couple times in the middle of the night to watch over him while he slept, just in case, I dont know, his comic book collection decided to spontaneously combust. This was dumb and admittedly creepy in an Edward Cullen kind of way — Cynthia Hand

So this is creepy,' I say, motioning to the school with my non-key-shiv hand. — Julie Murphy

Sitting alone in the cafeteria would just scream I'm the new girl. Everyone stare at me while I eat. — Kristi Cook

Is that what you were doing in my room?" he asks after a moment.
I sigh. Why am I telling him any of this? "Yes. I was on assignment."
"I was your assignment?"
"Yes."
He hesitates a moment, then grins. "That's kind of hot. — Rachel Morgan

Tradition or not, I sometimes thought putting children on an old guy's lap was already creepy enough. We didn't need to mix alcohol into it. — Richelle Mead

Harry Reid is not funny; he's creepy. Nancy Pelosi is creepy. Charles Schumer is sneaky and creepy. — Lewis Black

You guys dated, didn't you?"
"Are you insane? Not even if the continuation of our kind depended on it would I be tempted to do something so awful. — Rachel Morgan

Rape culture is a funny thing. People gloss over some pretty shitty, creepy, wrong behavior, little brother, when they know the person in question. But you raise the reality of what they're doing, and it's a whole lot harder to shrug it off. — Wildbow

If you can find the line between sympathetic and creepy, you have reached a very funny area. — Jason Segel

You never think of films being really creepy that you're in because you just remember the funny stuff. — Pell James

The lawyer was a short, ugly, little man. He stood about three feet taller than his desk's two foot eight inch frame and he had dark eyes. Lois couldn't tell if they were black or an extremely dark brown. His hair was dirty blonde and very messy. He looked as if he had just crawled out of bed. His white button up shirt was tucked in on only one side and the other side hung out freely. He wore a pair of tan khakis and a pair of black loafers. His skin almost matched the khakis which was extremely creepy and Lois kept thinking the man wasn't wearing pants. — Rebecca McNutt

They drove towards the city and Dan handed Lyssa a loose Hermes scarf.
'Yours?' she teased.
'Mum's,' he answered as Lyssa tied it over her eyes. 'You look very sexy like that.'
'And you sound really creepy right now,' Lyssa said, laughing. — Kate Forster

Kristen Stewart always looks like she's posing for pictures taken in a basement by her creepy uncle. — Chelsea Handler