Funny But Intelligent Quotes & Sayings

needed someone intelligent, motivated, funny, caring, strong, tolerant - because let's face it, I was no picnic. Someone — Genna Rulon

Elephants are so wise and so funny and so endangered and so intelligent. I just think there is a lot to learn from them. — Gloria Steinem

They keep saying that beautiful is something a girl needs to be. But honestly? Forget that. Don't be beautiful. Be angry, be intelligent, be witty, be klutzy, be interesting, be funny, be adventurous, be crazy, be talented - there are an eternity of other things to be other than beautiful. And what is beautiful anyway but a set of letters strung together to make a word? Be your own definition of amazing, always. That is so much more important than anything beautiful, ever. — Nikita Gill

When Indian women begin the search for an Indian man, they carry a huge list of qualifications. He has to have a job. He has to be kind, intelligent, and funny. He has to dance and sing. He should know how to iron his own clothes. Braids would be nice. But as the screwed-up Indian men stagger through their lives, Indian women are forced to amend their list of qualifications. Eventually, Indian men need only to have their own teeth to get snagged. — Sherman Alexie

To be able to make a good living in a challenging medium like soap operas is great. The best is that I get to act and am rewarded for it. And the people I work with are great. Funny, intelligent, hard working. They're all great to be around. — David Canary

I stay fat because it just wouldn't be fair to all the thin people if I were this good-looking, intelligent, funny, and thin. It's a public service really. — Rebel Wilson

Idiots are of two kinds: those who try to be smart and those who think they are smart. — Raheel Farooq

If your idea of a role model is somebody who's gonna preach to your kids that sex before marriage is wrong and cursing is wrong and women should be this and be that, then I'm not a role model. But if you want your girls to feel strong and intelligent and be outspoken and fight for what they think is right, then I want to be that type of role model, yeah. — Megan Fox

There is nudity, of course striptease is an essential component of burlesque but it's much more complex and intelligent than a display of nudity for nudity itself. And its often laugh-out-loud funny. — Karen Abbott

Before the Kennedys were elected, there had been older Presidents. Then here was this devastatingly attractive young couple with two beautiful children. They were so intelligent, graceful, gracious and funny. They enjoyed life so much. That's what caught America's eye. — Letitia Baldrige

Scream was great for what it was. For a horror film, it was intelligent, it was funny, it took a laugh at itself. — Neve Campbell

Even if the intelligent design of some structure has been established, it still is a separate question whether a wise, powerful, and beneficent God ought to have designed a complex, information-rich structure one way or another. For the sake of argument, let's grant that certain designed structures are not simply, as Gould put it, "odd" or "funny," but even cruel. What of it? Philosophical theology has abundant resources for dealing with the problem of evil, maintaining a God who is both omnipotent and benevolent in the face of evil. — William A. Dembski

I'm not a fan of any genre but am a fan of movies that are intelligent and/or funny. That goes across all genres: a horror movie, a zombie movie, alien invaders, chick flick, or raunchy comedy. If it's well done, I'm a fan. — J.K. Simmons

I am intelligent
I am attractive
I am powerful
I am proactive
I am health
I am strength
I am stealth
I am surrounded by love
I am a beacon of hope
I-- HORKFLAKGLORKSPUKE
....
That was a hairball
And I am a cat
And what just happened
I am fine with that — Francesco Marciuliano

An early editor characterized my books as 'romantic comedy for intelligent adults.' I think people see them as funny but kind. I don't set out to write either funny or kind, but it's a voice they like, quirky like me ... And you know, people like happy endings. — Elinor Lipman

The thingy? You want me, the most intelligent cognitive processor in the known worlds, to say thingy?"
"Yes," I reaffirmed. "That is correct."
Do you stay up nights thinking of ways to humiliate me?" HARV asked. — John Zakour

I like girls who are intelligent, somewhat funny, and pretty with a nice personality. — Leonardo DiCaprio

The following is a list of statements made many years ago by experts in their fields. At the time they were said they sounded intelligent. With the passing of time, they sound idiotic. — Sean Covey

It's funny: one starts off thinking one is shrinkingly sensitive & intelligent & always one down & all the rest of it: then at thirty one finds one is a great clumping brute, incapable of appreciating anything finer than a kiss or a kick, roaring our one's hypocrisies at the top of one's voice, thick skinned as a rhino. At least I do. — Philip Larkin

I was first in Sydney in 1993, and have been a few times since then. For someone who didn't know Australia, it came as a shock how intelligent, interesting and funny the people were. If I lived there I might see it differently, but as a visitor it was a lot of fun. — Colm Toibin

Steve Martin is one of the most intelligent, well-read human beings that I've ever come across. He is equally as funny off screen as he is on. But he also has a very intellectual side, and he's a really nice human being. We actually become good friends. — Anthony LaPaglia

All humans learn from each other's mistakes. Intelligent humans learn how to avoid them, idiots how to do them. — Raheel Farooq

Goldie Hawn is funny, sexy, beautiful, talented, intelligent, warm, and consistently sunny. Other than that, she doesn't impress me at all. — Neil Simon

The most prudent thing any intelligent animal can do, if it would prefer its descendents not to spend a lot of time on a slab with electrodes clamped to their brains or sticking mines on the bottom of ships, or being patronised by zoologists, is to make bloody certain humans don't find out about it. — Terry Pratchett

Vomit and shit, even your own, stink. — Sheeja Jose

I really love Charlize Theron. I've never met her before, but she seems really down-to-earth in interviews, really intelligent and funny and cool - and she's just this glorious goddess who holds herself with such confidence. — Alexandra Daddario

No one is like you, Alex."
I grinned. "I'll take that as a compliment."
"It is." He nudged me again, and my grin gew into another ludicrous smile- the kind Caleb gave Olivia when they weren't tearing each other's heads off. "You're incredibly intelligent, Alex. Funny and ... "
"Pretty?"
"No, not pretty."
"Cute?"
"No."
I frowned. "Well, then."
Aiden's laugh sent shivers through me. "I was going to say 'stunning.' You're stunningly beautiful. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

For a moment, imagine the person you hope to marry. What do they look like? Are they funny, intelligent, kind? How do you hope they are living their life right now? Would it bother you if you knew they were hooking up each weekend or had five, ten, or fifteen different partners over the past several years? Or would it make you smile if you knew they were holding out for you? Why not live your life as you would want them to live theirs? Wait for the relationship. — Sean Covey

I'm familiar with the myth, I'm merely surprised that a female
would be familiar with the classics."
"You must have a very limited experience with my sex," Alexandra
said, surprised. "My grandfather said most women are every bit as
intelligent as men."
She saw his eyes take on the sudden gleam of suppressed laughter
and assumed, mistakenly, that he was amused by her assessment of
female intelligence rather than her remark about his inexperience
with women. — Judith McNaught

You're Shane, right?'
He inched away from her and managed a quick nod as he twisted the rag he held in his fingers.
'Heidi sad you were willing to teach me how to ride.' Her expression shifted from entertained to confused, as if she was wondering why no one had mentioned he was a can or two shy of a six-pack.
'A horse,' he clarified, then wanted to kick himself. What else but a horse? Did he think she was here to learn to ride his mother's elephant?
One corner of Annabelle's perfect, full mouth twitched. 'A horse would be good. You seem to have several.'
He wanted to remind himself that he was usually fine around women. Smooth even. He was intelligent, funny and could, on occasion, be charming. Just not now, with his blood pumping and his brain doing nothing more than shouting "it's her, it's her" over and over again.
Chemistry, he thought grimly. It could turn the smartest man into a drooling idiot. Here he was, proving the theory true. — Susan Mallery

Ideally, each week, I'd like to have rad, intelligent, creative, funny guests with different takes on the world of music. I will ask them all what their favorite blink-182 song is, and what they like best about me as a person. — Mark Hoppus

Yes, Louise Brooks was beautiful and intelligent, and she could be very funny, but obviously there was a deep insecurity there, a real destructive rage and immaturity. — Laura Moriarty

Dolphins : Animals that are so intelligent that, within a few weeks of captivity, they can train a man to stand on the edge of their pool and throw them food three times a day. — Hal Roach

If you were smart," Genghis said, "you would have borrowed the silverware of one of your friends."
"We never thought of that," Klaus said. When one is forced to tell atrocious lies, one often feels a guilty flutter in one's stomach, and Klaus felt such a flutter now. "You certainly are an intelligent man."
"Not only am I intelligent," Genghis agreed, "but I'm also very smart. — Lemony Snicket

If god meant for people to talk into cellphones, he would've put our mouths on the side of our heads. — Devon Sampson

My silence was reward for you saying something intelligent. I'm a firm believer in positive reinforcement. — Sam Argent

The things that make me laugh are considered smart or whatever, I guess. But stuff that's self-consciously intelligent or self-consciously hip or cool, that doesn't do it for me either. You just try to be funny. — Greg Giraldo

I'm mourning with the rest of the world for the talented, gorgeous, funny, intelligent John Forsythe but my heart is broken for the loss of my dear, dear friend and neighbor. I will miss him terribly. — Cheryl Ladd

You've a very important, early decision to make in your life: are you going to be alone, or are you going to be with somebody else? Are you going to be sane, or not lonely? A couple is a strange thing; it's an organism that's half as intelligent as the most intelligent member. And you both know who it is. — Dylan Moran

You know very well that I no longer think. I am far too intelligent for that. — Albert Camus

I really like writing heroes who aren't necessarily 'Hollywood handsome.' Personally, I think men who are self-confident, intelligent, and funny are outrageously attractive - and my heroines tend to think that, too! — Suzanne Brockmann

When she looked at him with those dark eyes, Nassar felt the urge to say something intelligent and deeply impressive. Unfortunately, nothing of the kind came to mind. — Ilona Andrews

Connor tries to hold her arm to give her support, but she shakes him off and throws him a nasty gaze. "If I want your help, I'll ask. Do I look feeble to you?"
"Actually, yes."
"Looks are deceiving." she says. " After all, when I saw you, I thought you looked reasonably intelligent."
"Very funny. — Neal Shusterman

Animals are sentient, intelligent, perceptive, funny and entertaining. We owe them a duty of care as we do to children. — Michael Morpurgo

I would love to interview Michael McKean and his wife, who wrote the songs for 'A Mighty Wind,' which is my favorite Christopher Guest movie. I'm just a sucker for any funny guy that has a wife who is intelligent and that he collaborates with. — Julie Klausner

I have a rule - 'funny is funny!' When I write comedy, it's not my aim to upset people. I will be offensive, edgy and immature, but I will also be very intelligent and relevant. At my shows, there are no holy cows. — Vir Das

If you can be funny, it means you're intelligent. Your brain is working fast. — Amber Valletta

I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent. — Elayne Boosler

There is nothing funny about a well-adjusted, intelligent person making the right choices. — Tim Heidecker

It was a kind of one-upmanship, where nobody knows what's going on, and they'd put the other one down as if they did know. They all fake that they know, and if one student admits for a moment that something is confusing by asking a question, the others take a high-handed attitude, acting as if it's not confusing at all, telling him that he's wasting their time ... All the work they did, intelligent people, but they got themselves into this funny state of mind, this strange kind of self-propagating "education" which is meaningless, utterly meaningless. — Richard Feynman

I had no male friends now, though I did have a strong community of intelligent, supportive, funny women and I felt confused as to why they weren't enough for me, — Charlotte Shane

I'd always thought that my awkwardness was a thin veil disguising the real me. The me that was funny and could write songs that touched people. The me that would one day find some beautiful, intelligent boy who'd recognize me as his soul mate. The me who was secretly pretty and stylish if only someone would lift the veil and see. But I was beginning to suspect that underneath the awkwardness there was just more awkwardness and not much else. And that would explain why I stood in a room full of people and felt like the loneliest girl in the world. — Sarra Manning

The universe had no choice but to create intelligent life so that there would be someone else that could simply laugh at how unbelievably, ridiculously and senselessly huge the universe is and how utterly insignificant the rest of us are. — Ian Strang

Lemons. He liked lemons. They made you make funny faces when you bit them, and a very, very long way in the future there was a really amazing planet where they'd evolved into people and lived in harmony with a variety of hyper-intelligent bee. Evolution. Thousands and thousands of years of tiny changes could turn little burning sparks of chemistry into people, into monsters and angels and even human beings. — Nick Harkaway

With faces entirely invisible through suits, it was hard to be sure, but my impression was that he was watching me and copying my every move. I felt this proved he was intelligent. — Janet Edwards

Working on 'Parks' was like heaven because everyone there was just intimidatingly intelligent and funny, and we would have these hilarious debates about really tangential things. It was inspiring because I felt really challenged to be my best. — Chelsea Peretti

The sad thing about our society is that women are put in one of two categories. You're either in the beautiful category and you're seen as sexy and beautiful, or some version of that, or you're put into another category.The latter category affords women the opportunity to be smart, funny, independent, mean, strong, intelligent and opinionated. We take them seriously as politicians, if they fit into that latter category. We respect their opinions more and give them higher expectations. That latter category is what allows female actors to be characters. — Amber Heard

Intelligent life on other planets? I'm not even sure there is on earth! — Albert Einstein

Because, of course, of how intelligent you are. And funny. Not that you aren't attractive. Because you are. Attractive. Oh, bugger ... "
I wait.
"Are you still there, or did you hang up because I'm such a bleeding idiot?"
"I'm here."
"God, you made me work for that. — Stephanie Perkins

I used to say I wanted somebody funny and intelligent, but kindness is the most important quality in a man. — Cat Deeley