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Funny Adults Quotes & Sayings

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Top Funny Adults Quotes

Funny Adults Quotes By Ella Minster

The adults said the only good food was the bacon, but the kids knew better. They had never had a more fun breakfast in their lives. Although they had to agree the bacon was very good. Then again, it was bacon. It was always good. — Ella Minster

Funny Adults Quotes By Julia Marriott

All the kids with fancy shoes or clothes, do you know what I got with a family of nine? When ever we said let's play poker, we had a full team of adults right there. — Julia Marriott

Funny Adults Quotes By Jess C. Scott

The human body is the best work of art. — Jess C. Scott

Funny Adults Quotes By V.C. Andrews

It's funny how when you're little, you miss all the little lies. They float right past you, but you don't wonder about them much. For a long time, you think this is just something adults still do after being kids - pretend. Then one day you wake up and realize most of the world you're in is built on someone's make-believe. — V.C. Andrews

Funny Adults Quotes By Siobhan Vivian

- Obviously, we're hoping that the weather forecasters are wrong, the way they tend to be about ninety-eight percent of the time
A few adults chuckled at that lameness. I remember thinking, hoping, that I would never turn into the kind of person who though weather jokes were funny. — Siobhan Vivian

Funny Adults Quotes By Elinor Lipman

An early editor characterized my books as 'romantic comedy for intelligent adults.' I think people see them as funny but kind. I don't set out to write either funny or kind, but it's a voice they like, quirky like me ... And you know, people like happy endings. — Elinor Lipman

Funny Adults Quotes By Neil Flynn

While 'The Middle' is still funny for adults to watch, there aren't sex jokes. And I'm fine with that. I like the idea that my nieces and nephews can watch it without their parents. — Neil Flynn

Funny Adults Quotes By Derek Landy

Skulduggery."
"Fletcher."
Fletcher stuck out his hand. Skulduggery observed it for a moment.
"I'm sorry, what are we doing now?"
"Shaking hands," Fletcher said. "Like adults. I just want you to know that this past year has changed me. I've grown, as a person. I'm not the same Fletcher you used to know.
"You look a lot like him."
"Well, yeah, but-"
"And you have the same ridiculous hair."
"Can we just shake hands?"
"Of course we can," Skulduggery said, and they shook. "Now what?"
"I, uh...I don't really know. What do adults usually do after they shake hands?"
"Generally, the first thing they do is let go."
"Oh, right," Fletcher said, and Skulduggery took his hand back. "So, Skulduggery, how have you been? You're looking well. That's a really nice tie.
"It's blue."
"And such a nice shade."
Skulduggery looked at Valkyrie. "You promised me he wouldn't be annoying. — Derek Landy

Funny Adults Quotes By Judd Apatow

Most people are really fighting to not be adults. And, when it happens, it's a big transition. And a lot of that is just awful. It's awful to have to get a job and really be responsible for other people. And it is funny, too. Like, we're all kind of little idiot kids trying to act like we know what we are doing. — Judd Apatow

Funny Adults Quotes By David Walton

You can't be trying to be funny. As an adult actor, sometimes I'll muddle it up by over-thinking things. — David Walton

Funny Adults Quotes By Steve Martin

Kids like my act because I'm wearing nose glasses. Adults like my act because there's a guy who thinks putting on nose glasses is funny. — Steve Martin

Funny Adults Quotes By Fred Kaeser

Yeah, why was there a naked doll and fake penis in that store?" she asks. Your response might be something like this: "You know, as crazy as it sounds, there are some adults who buy things like fake penises and naked dolls. I know it sounds nuts, but it's true. Some adults think it's kind of funny to do that; they do it as a joke. But there are some adults who use them as though they were real by touching and holding them. Daddy (or Mommy) and I think that's silly, but if some adults want them, I don't think they'll cause any harm. — Fred Kaeser

Funny Adults Quotes By Brian P. Cleary

Kids enjoy laughing and are seldom bored when they find something funny. They also ask questions, often to adults, because they understand that the more words they can comprehend about a funny story or a joke, the more they'll enjoy it. — Brian P. Cleary

Funny Adults Quotes By Siri Hustvedt

Looking at a human being or even a picture of a human being is different from looking at an object. Newborn babies, only hours old, copy the expressions of adults. They pucker up, try to grin, look surprised, and stick out their tongues. The photographs of imitating infants are both funny and touching. They do not know they are doing it; this response is in them from the beginning. Later, people learn to suppress the imitation mechanism; it would not be good if we went on forever copying every facial expression we saw. Nevertheless, we human beings love to look at faces because we find ourselves there. When you smile at me, I feel a smile form on my own face before I am aware it is happening, and I smile because I am seeing me in your eyes and know that you like what you see. — Siri Hustvedt

Funny Adults Quotes By Day Leclaire

Look at her," he ordered. "She's foaming at the mouth. That's bad, right? Don't they shoot you when you do that?"
"She's blowing bubbles," Grace explained. "At three months, we say it's cute. We frown on it when a child turns six. At thirteen, a stem reprimand is in order. It's only bubble-blowing adults we shoot. — Day Leclaire

Funny Adults Quotes By Gavin McInnes

Once I sold my shares and figured I wanted to get out of the magazine business it was like, "Now I can do whatever I want, anything I want in the world." And I guess I subconsciously hoped it would be something a little more adult. But I just want to do funny shorts, and TV is the ultimate endpoint for that. — Gavin McInnes

Funny Adults Quotes By Robyn Carr

We're adults. I might be a little more of an adult if you're counting years but I bet I have a lower IQ, so that puts us pretty much even. — Robyn Carr

Funny Adults Quotes By Julie Taymor

Children have an easier ability to tap into the surreal than adults do, in a funny kind of way. — Julie Taymor

Funny Adults Quotes By Robert Fulghum

What I notice is that every adult or child I give a new set of Crayolas to goes a little funny. The kids smile, get a glazed look on their faces, pour the crayons out, and just look at them for a while ... The adults always get the most wonderful kind of sheepish smile on their faces
a mixture of delight and nostalgia and silliness. And they immediately start telling you about all their experiences with Crayolas. — Robert Fulghum

Funny Adults Quotes By Tom Bodett

I know how to make adults laugh pretty well. I don't know if kids think I'm that funny. — Tom Bodett

Funny Adults Quotes By Anne Lamott

It's funny: I always imagined when I was a kid that adults had some kind of inner toolbox full of shiny tools: the saw of discernment, the hammer of wisdom, the sandpaper of patience. But then when I grew up I found that life handed you these rusty bent old tools - friendships, prayer, conscience, honesty - and said 'do the best you can with these, they will have to do'. And mostly, against all odds, they do. — Anne Lamott

Funny Adults Quotes By Orson Scott Card

It was funny. The adults taking all this so seriously, and the children playing
along, playing along, believing it too until suddenly the adults went too far, tried too hard, and the children
could see through their game. — Orson Scott Card

Funny Adults Quotes By Eve Chase

I think adults must get sort of worn away over time, like rocks out at sea, but remain who they are, just slower and grayer with those funny vertical wrinkles in front of their ears. But the young are a different shape from one week to the next. To know us is to run alongside us, like someone trying to shout through the window of a moving train. — Eve Chase

Funny Adults Quotes By Julie Smith

It was funny, Skip thought, how much attention children demanded the first few years of their lives and how hard adults strove ever after to get their attention. — Julie Smith

Funny Adults Quotes By Jess C. Scott

Those sweet lips. My, oh my, I could kiss those lips all night long.
Good things come to those who wait. — Jess C. Scott

Funny Adults Quotes By Donald Ray Pollock

I worked in a paper mill all my adult life and there were a lot of funny guys there. So you pick up on that. Even though something really bad might have happened to somebody you can still make a joke out of it. — Donald Ray Pollock

Funny Adults Quotes By J.D. Salinger

It's funny. You take adults, they look lousy when they're asleep and they have their mouths way open, but kids don't. Kids look alright. They can even have spit all over the pillow and they still look alright. — J.D. Salinger

Funny Adults Quotes By Art Buchwald

It was a dangerous profession I had chosen ... because no one likes a funny kid. In fact, adults are scared silly of them and tend to warn children who act out that they are going to wind up in prison or worse. It is only when you grow up that they pay you vast sums of money to make them laugh. — Art Buchwald

Funny Adults Quotes By Rob Zombie

People just like the thrill of anything. Dangerous things and dark things are exciting. Like as a kid, I knew I wasn't going to get killed if I went into the Haunted House but you kind of feel like you are. And when it comes out the track the other side, it's like, "we're still alive"! And I find it really funny when adults get really scared because I've not been really scared since I saw Jaws when I was a little kid. I just think people like the thrill of it, they like to feel like they accomplished something, that they survived the movie. — Rob Zombie

Funny Adults Quotes By Criss Jami

Generally it appears the case that, when faced with all life's problems, the baby, he wants to cry about everything, the child wants to question everything, the teenager wants to rebel against everything, the young adult wants to solve everything, the middle-aged adult wants to protect everything, and the elder wants to accept everything. — Criss Jami

Funny Adults Quotes By Dustin Lawson

Don't you think it's funny that the presidents are still expected to build libraries when hardly anyone reads books? I read a study that said less than ten percent of adults read a book in the past year. — Dustin Lawson

Funny Adults Quotes By Paula Poundstone

It's funny that we think of libraries as quiet demure places where we are shushed by dusty, bun-balancing, bespectacled women. The truth is libraries are raucous clubhouses for free speech, controversy and community. Librarians have stood up to the Patriot Act, sat down with noisy toddlers and reached out to illiterate adults. Libraries can never be shushed. — Paula Poundstone