Fran Quotes & Sayings

The French probably invented the very notion of discretion. It's not that they feel that what you don't know won't hurt you; they feel that what you don't know won't hurt them. To the French lying is simply talking. — Fran Lebowitz

But you have to remember, Fran, she's too old to change, but you are getting old enough to understand that. — Stephen King

It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensive domestic cigars. — Fran Lebowitz

It's very disheartening to encounter a fearful twenty-one year old. They haven't earned the right to be that afraid. It's not like we're living in war-torn Bosnia or something. — Fran Lebowitz

There's no equivalent to Mozart in writing. — Fran Lebowitz

People who get married because they're in love make a ridiculous mistake. It makes much more sense to marry your best friend. You like your best friend more than anyone you're ever going to be in love with. You dont choose your best friend because they have a cute nose. — Fran Lebowitz

Women who insist upon having the same options as men would do well to consider the option of being the strong, silent type — Fran Lebowitz

And remember, it's also very funny, because side by side with grief lies joy. — Fran Drescher

Communism requires of its adherents that they arise early and participate in a strenuous round of calisthenics. To someone who wishes that cigarettes came already lit the thought of such exertion at an hour when decent people are just nodding off is thoroughly abhorrent. — Fran Lebowitz

Ever since I was a little child, I refused to see movies of books that I loved. Because you already know what Heidi looks like and she doesn't look like Shirley Temple. — Fran Lebowitz

we let our pile of good things grow until it overshadowed the darkness — Fran Seen

To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel. — Fran Lebowitz

Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure. — Fran Lebowitz

I have the exact opposite problem of every writer I've ever met: Every writer I've ever met writes things that are too long, and they have to edit them down. — Fran Lebowitz

Every time you go to the doctor and get a good report, the odds keep staking more in your favour. — Fran Drescher

If I go to a concert or sporting event I usually go in a VIP entrance. And leave the same way. — Fran Drescher

This is a subject I've given a lot of thought to, and I think I have the answer. I've tried to encompass in my theory all the sociological, mythological, religious, philosophical, muscular, economic, cultural, musical, physical, ethical, intellectual, metaphysical, anthropological, gynecological, historical, hormonal, environmental, judicial, legal, moral, ethnic, governmental, linguistic, psychological, schizophrenic, glottal, racial, poetic, dental [this was the logical link] artistic, military, and urinary considerations from prehistoric times to the present.I have been able to synthesize these considerations into one inescapable formulation: men can knock the shit out of women. — Fran Ross

I've always been a fan of Fran Drescher! — Ian Ziering

I am not the type of person who wants to go back to the land I am the type who wants to got back to the hotel. — Fran Lebowitz

It's much easier to write a solemn book than a funny book. It's harder to make people laugh than it is to make them cry. People are always on the verge of tears. — Fran Lebowitz

I have a real aversion to machines. I write with a pen. Then I read it to someone who writes it onto the computer. What are those computer letters made of anyway? Light? Too insubstantial. Paper, you can feel it. A pen. There's a connection. A pen goes exactly at your speed, whereas that machine jumps. And then, that machine is waiting for you, just humming uh-huh, yes? — Fran Lebowitz

People always say "pop culture." As if we have some high culture to distinguish it from. — Fran Lebowitz

There are some short essays that are very grave, and most contemporary novels are lighter than air. — Fran Lebowitz

Writers get exactly the right amount of fame: just enough to get a good table in a restaurant but not enough so that people are constantly interrupting you while you're eating dinner. — Fran Lebowitz

I could not possibly be in a relationship now for more than six days. When I was younger, I might have said six months, although I think the longest relationship I was ever in was three years. — Fran Lebowitz

When I was a kid, I would make these incredibly bloody movies in my back yard. I was constantly making weird blood concoctions; Jell-O and milk was a good one. I was constantly ruining clothes and staining my parents' walls and stuff. — Fran Kranz

White grapes are very attractive but when it comes to dessert people generally like cake with icing. — Fran Lebowitz

Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house. — Fran Lebowitz

to do with Lottie's final wishes for her memoirs. With the help of Millie and Henry, Fran and — Meredith Kennon

I never wanted to have any extra money, if it meant having to have any extra work. — Fran Lebowitz

Children ask better questions than adults. "May I have a cookie?" "Why is the sky blue?" and "What does a cow say?" are far more likely to elicit a cheerful response than "Where's your manuscript?" "Why haven't you called?" and "Who's your lawyer?" — Fran Lebowitz

Notoriously insensitive to subtle shifts in mood, children will persist in discussing the color of a recently sighted cement-mixer long after one's own interest in the topic has waned. — Fran Lebowitz

Nothing lasts. So it's my belief, yes, I know a lot of the things that we liked didn't last, but maybe things we don't like, they're also not going to last. There has been progress in my lifetime. There are certainly things that are better than when I was young, and there are things that are worse. New York City, it's worse. There's no question. — Fran Lebowitz

The thing you love right away, don't do it, because that's the very thing that's going to be your addiction for the rest of your life. — Fran Lebowitz

The doorbell rang, and I assumed it was Fran and Roger having come back because
they had forgotten something. I took my time, lacing my boots, and the buzzer became more impatient.
"I'm coming, shithead!" I yelled. Yes, I should have known better. For of course, it was not Roger or Fran. I threw open the door to find Declan Tyler standing there, looking half-insulted and half-amused.
"Got a pet name for me already?" he asked. — Sean Kennedy

Christian charity, the compassion of centuries of civilization, fell from her like useless ornaments, revealing her bare, arid soul. She needed to feed and protect her children. Nothing else mattered any more. — Irene Nemirovsky

I have been dairy free for several years, and I started because I felt it was going to reduce my allergies, which it did, and help me lose weight, which it did. — Fran Drescher

Tolerance is really a better thing than understanding. Because it doesn't agitate against human nature. — Fran Lebowitz

If people don't hold grudges, it means they just don't care what people do. — Fran Lebowitz

Good Lord, just look at that six pack!" She sighed. "I think you could grate cheese there."

"Fran, if you were with Daniel Craig with no shirt, I think the last thing you would think about would be grating cheese. — Amanda Laneley

I felt ridiculously self-conscious, like the stick of celery at a luxurious buffet. — Fran Macilvey

The pro athlete is a sad tale. He signs a big contract and thinks he's set for life. I didn't think I was set for life, and I don't now. As athletes, we are important, celebrities, in demand and rich. Then we are out of the game and we are not important, not celebrities, not in demand and not rich. — Fran Tarkenton

Illness is the great equalizer. It doesn't matter who you are, rich or poor, young or old, fat or thin, sick is sick. — Fran Drescher

Local television shows do not, in general, supply make-up artists. The exception to this is Los Angeles, an unusually generous city in this regard, since they also provide this service for radio appearances. — Fran Lebowitz

Do not have your child's hair cut by a real hairdresser in a real hairdressing salon. He is, at this point, far too short to be exposed to contempt. — Fran Lebowitz

Great quarterbacks, good quarterbacks, make plays. — Fran Tarkenton

He talks a lot, but he talks about cars and golf and keeping fit. Fran likes trivia, but she's more interested in female trivia than male. Teresa — Margaret Drabble

Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you. — Fran Lebowitz

China is not a great idea: capitalism and a dictator. It's like the two worst possible things you could imagine together. It's a very bad idea. — Fran Lebowitz

A salad is not a meal, it is a style. — Fran Lebowitz

The Word Lady: Most Often Used to Describe Someone You Wouldn't Want to Talk to for Even Five Minutes. — Fran Lebowitz

Television turned out to be exactly as bad as the most irritating and pedantic intellectuals of the '50s said it was going to be. — Fran Lebowitz

A community is a butcher and a doctor, a minister, a town troublemaker. A "community" is not a bunch of people united by some grievance. That's just self-righteousness
incredibly dangerous and antidemocratic. — Fran Lebowitz

Knowingness is sexy. The opposite of sexy is naivete. — Fran Lebowitz

...replying with a smile to the silent question asked by all small babies: "Who on earth are you? — Francoise Heritier

I know that I've played a lot of comedic roles. It's a visual medium. When you get one role, you start to get cast in that role for awhile because that's what people have seen you do, and have hopefully seen you do it successfully. — Fran Kranz

You can be nasty when you are young, but you really have to be older to achieve bitterness. — Fran Lebowitz

For someone such as myself, who is kind of feckless and immature, it's better to have rich friends than to be rich yourself, because then you have wealth without the responsibility. You get to go to their houses, and you get acquainted with a level of furniture that you cannot provide for yourself. Furniture, I think is the most important attribute of rich people. — Fran Lebowitz

Raisins are a thing that lasts, they come in small boxes, and you always feel like eating raisins, even at six in the morning. A raisin is always an appropriate snack. — Fran Lebowitz

One [New York] eatery is a remodeled diner that looks like what Busby Berkeley would have done if only he hadn't had the money. — Fran Lebowitz

It is not true that there is dignity in all work. Some jobs are definitely better than others ... People who have good jobs are happy, rich, and well dressed. People who have bad jobs are unhappy, poor and use meat extenders. Those who seek dignity in the type of work that compels them to help hamburgers are certain to be disappointed. — Fran Lebowitz

I tried to quash my anger and fear. If I was being set up to fail, then I would fail spectacularly. — Fran Wilde

Cheese that is required by law to append the word food to its title does not go well with red wine or fruit. — Fran Lebowitz

They know you can't get people to stop smoking, so they develop a system of informants. That's the whole idea of second-hand smoke, you know. Make second-hand smoke dangerous and turn everybody against smokers. Then they say you can't even smoke in a bar
a bar!
because bartenders have a right to a smoke-free "workspace." Ah, bartenders, those health nuts ... — Fran Lebowitz

When I was young, I liked romance. But to me, romance is the opposite of domestic life. I just don't want anyone in the apartment, not for longer than a few hours. — Fran Lebowitz

Horror is so often a 'thinkless' genre, sort of considered popcorn movies, but you really put a lot of, not just heart and soul, but a lot of physical energy into it. — Fran Kranz

Since my illness, I've felt the presence of my angels. — Fran Drescher

My whole life has been about changing negatives into positives. I got famous, then I got cancer, and now I live to talk about it. Sometimes the best gifts come in the ugliest packages. — Fran Drescher

I believed passionately that Communists were a race of horned men who divided their time equally between the burning of Nancy Drew books and the devising of a plan of nuclear attack that would land the largest and most lethal bomb squarely upon the third-grade class of Thomas Jefferson School in Morristown, New Jersey. — Fran Lebowitz

To lose yourself in a book is the desire of the bookworm. I mean to be taken. That is my desire. — Fran Lebowitz

Think before you speak. Read before you think. — Fran Lebowitz

Anti-smoking sentiment has replaced middle-class morality entirely. The smoker has taken the place of the homosexual. Today you hear people say things about smokers that used to be said about homosexuals
they pollute the environment; you don't want them around your children ... — Fran Lebowitz

Someday you'll be as great as I am. — Fran Peek

I went into the world, threw myself into the world, and great things came out of it. — Fran Drescher

The task ahead of you is never as great as the power within you. — Fran 'Mystiblu' Hafey

Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully. — Fran Lebowitz

You should make it hard on yourself to write so you're easier to read. — Fran Lebowitz

I had uterine cancer, which is the most under-funded and under-researched of all the female cancers. — Fran Drescher

There is something enormously compelling about Fran Cutler. She is a thrilling bundle of energy and enthusiasm. — Kate Reardon

I love walking my feet off. Gimme a map and a box of Band-Aids and I'm all set! — Fran Drescher

What do they do in these [private] clubs, anyway? Sit around saying things like 'Thank God I'm here. No Jews! What fun! This is living, huh? Look! No Jews! I don't know when I've had a better time. And no women! Just men! And no blacks! Just whites! White men! White men who are not Jewish! It doesn't get any better than this.' To some people, apparently, this is a perfect description of injustice. To me, this is a perfect description of a gay bar in Iceland. — Fran Lebowitz

Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk. — Fran Lebowitz

Food is definitely important part of your balanced diet. — Fran Lebowitz

There are certain relationships I think I'm great at: I'm the world's greatest daughter. I'm a great relative. I believe I'm a great friend. — Fran Lebowitz

Merton. Gethsemani required a vow of silence, and at dinner if you wanted salt, you had to stare hard at the shaker until another brother noticed. One day, cutting down a tree, Jack couldn't contain himself. He held his head back and roared, "Timber." After that, his days at the monastery were numbered. Within a couple of years, he had married, and he and his young wife, Fran, who herself had just spent a year in a nunnery, opened a Catholic Worker farm in eastern Missouri for recovering alcoholics. — Alex Kotlowitz

Middle class was defined by having certain values and only a certain amount of money. But this new middle class seems to have absolutely no values and an unlimited amount of money. — Fran Lebowitz

If it's not fun, you are not doing it right. — Fran Tarkenton

I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota. — Fran Lebowitz

Science has done absolutely nothing about noise. The worst design flaw in the human body is that you can't close your ears. The reason you can't close your ears is, if a lion was coming, you had to wake up. Today no lions are coming. Beeping trucks are coming. I read the other day that the guy who invented the beep when trucks go backward, he died. I thought: Of course-he dies, I have to listen to it. — Fran Lebowitz

My clothes are predominately black and my home is predominantly white. — Fran Drescher

The other day I read that last year 58 million tourists came to New York ... where a puny eight million people are trying to live. Unless they own a hotel chain, I don't think a single one of these eight million people are happy about this. — Fran Lebowitz

Well, every time I get ready to do a job I want to lose weight. — Fran Drescher

It never occurs to one to think whether she is pretty or ugly. One just surrenders to her charm. — Francois Mauriac

Marriage entitles women to the protection of a strong man who will steady the stepladder while they paint the kitchen ceiling. — Fran Lebowitz

Every day, you save yourself, even when you don't feel up to it. — Fran Seen

Mid-life crises, in Fran's ageing view, are a luxury compared with what she has seen of end-of-life crises. — Margaret Drabble

Tourism as a number-one industry is a terrible, terrible idea for any city, especially New York. If you were going to turn a city, which is a place where people live, into a tourist attraction, you're going to have to make it a place that people who don't live here, like. So I object to living in a place for people who don't live here. — Fran Lebowitz

Fran grounded out to the pitcher. Max popped a weak single to right field. Brendan struck out swinging. But the Tigers hopes for a winning season were down to the last out. — Fred Bowen

The Super Bowl is really exciting. The parties are always fun. The whole thing is a big party. — Fran Drescher

Sarcasm: what they have in New York instead of jacuzzis. — Fran Lebowitz