For Your Girlfriend Quotes & Sayings

You don't really want me on your team,' Lexie said. 'I'm totally terrible.'
'I know," Jake said. 'I want you on the other guy's team.'
Lexie swatted him with her free hand. "That is no way to talk with your girlfriend,' she said, forgetting for a moment that Bree was right there, intently watching them.
'You're right,' he said. 'My apologies, sugar plum. I'm sorry, honey pie. I'll never do it again, my little pumpkin. Is that better?'
She wrinkled her nose at him. ' feel so edible all of a sudden.'
'Cute enough to eat,' he said. — Tamara Summers

Shane, how many ways must I say it? I don't want to be introduced as your girlfriend, especially in front of your family."
"I'll call you Tonto, my sidekick. You can pretend I hired you for the event to provide security."
"You're the one with Native American blood, not me."
"Oh, now I get it. You want to muscle in on my territory and play the Lone Ranger role. Sorry, Doc. That takes horsemanship skills of which you have none. Now, if you'd let me take you on a trail ride or two, get you up to snuff, I might consider it. — Carol Devine

What's a little calming distraction for your girlfriend in the midst of world entertainment domination?"
"I'd stop the world from spinning for you."
That silly line oddly touched me. "I love you."
"Liked that one, did you? — Sylvia Day

The negative about acting is that you have to spend a great deal of time away from your friends and loved ones, but it's not like working a 9-5 job and only having two or three weeks off a year. I may not have seen my girlfriend for two or three months, but then we can spend two or three months together solidly. — Douglas Booth

Everyone, whether you are married or have a boyfriend or girlfriend, there's always someone who has a hold of your heart. You learn to let it go, but there's always a place in your heart. For me, it was someone I went to college with and we had an amazing bond, but I left. — Kip Moore

Dead Butterflies
I sometimes think about the fragility of glass - of broken shards tearing against soft skin.When in truth, it is the transparency that kills you. The pain of seeing through to something you can never quite touch. For years I've kept you in secret, behind a glass screen. I've watched helplessly as day after day, your new girlfriend becomes your wife and then later, the mother of your children. Then realizing their only in thinking you were the one under glass when in fact it has been me - a pinned butterfly static and unmoving, watching while your other life unfolds. — Lang Leav

Your longing for an intimate relationship with another person is something you were created to feel. It doesn't mean that you are unholy or that you haven't let Jesus fill your heart the way he should. It means you're human, created in the image of God, a God who loves, who connects, and who longs for relationship himself.
Jesus can never be your boyfriend or girlfriend because we was never intended to be. A significant part of your heart was designed specifically for just him, but there is a part of your heart that was designed specifically for others. — Debra Fileta

I feel there's so much pressure, especially for women, to declare what their life's going to be and what their career is, and are you married yet? Are you single? But you're 30. And girlfriends are so important. You can have a boyfriend or husband when you're 30, but you still need your girlfriends. — Kristen Wiig

I had a dream about you. You was a crocodile and i was always looking for you with fear. Your teeth were alabaster and your skin green as grass. Unfortunate you had already a girlfriend. And i hoped she finish like a handbag. I love you from my all reptile heart, which is poikilothermic. — Kattie Belgar

Good luck," Kassian said amiably, watching her walk away. When she was gone, he cast another look at Sin. "I hope they skip the sparring this time around."
"Afraid I'll beat up your girlfriend?" Sin asked dryly, hunching forward with a wince as he put his head in his hands. "Don't worry, I have no desire to kill a bunch of pathetic little trainees if that's what you're thinking."
Boyd raised an eyebrow. "You'd better not be including me in that statement."
Sin peeked at him through his fingers. "Oh. I forgot about you."
"I'm that easy to forget, am I?" Boyd asked dryly. "Especially when I've been right in front of you for the last hour? I'm flattered. — Ais

You're playing hookey for her? You met her, what, five minutes ago? And now she's what? Your girlfriend? Did you give her your varsity jacket? — Ally Blake

I'm not a militant lesbian. I carry myself in a way that makes it easier for women to relate to. I can be your best girlfriend. — Jackie Warner

I think you couldn't do this role or you couldn't be Frankie Valli himself unless you had a natural falsetto. And I had sort of discovered it by accident as a child or a young adult when you realize you have a special skill that you don't really have any use for you, and you just take it out at parties or to amuse your friends or to annoy your girlfriends. — John Lloyd Young

We have a saying in my house, my kids and my girlfriend. We say, 'Be your best for the greater good, and rock out wherever you are.' — Michael Franti

So you play your albums and you smoke your pot And you meet your girlfriend in the parking lot Oh, but still you're aching for the things you haven't got, What went wrong? And if you can't understand why your world is so dead And why you've got to keep in style and feed your head Well, you're twenty one and still you mother makes your bed And that's too long. — Billy Joel

My brother said something, but I'd been distracted by a nice flower in someone's back yard.
Wanted to pick it for my girlfriend.
Then I realized she might be sad I killed it.
Seemed like something she'd get sad about.
Maybe not.
I could just say, "Here, I killed this for you."
As in, "Of course I would kill something for you."
As in, "Everything is potentially your gift. — Sam Pink

And so we go and I meet his parents. And it's a very strange thing meeting your girlfriend's boyfriend's parents for the first time. Part of you is angry for obvious reasons and part of you still wants to make a good impression. On a side note, they seemed in perfect health. — Mike Birbiglia

It's incredible, really, the amount of pain cricketers are prepared to put themselves through. Say you're an opening batsman who gets out for a duck in the first over on day one. What compels you to hang around for the rest of the day, let alone turn up the following Saturday for day two? Yet you do, lest 10 blokes who you don't even like think slightly less of you. You retain a sense of loyalty to the club, to your teammates, even though those same teammates will not hesitate to rate your girlfriend a 'six out of 10' in front of your face. During the time I've spent watching my teammates bat after getting out cheaply, I could have learned a language by now. I could be speaking Mandarin. Instead, all I've got to show for it is a career average of 13.6 and a 10 percent discount at our local pub. — Sam Perry

She's gone. Been gone for ages. They split up right after you left. That's why the grass out front started growing again."
"He's got a new girlfriend?" she said quietly. "Thank god. You must be happy."
"Yeah. He does. It's a relief. She's a lot nicer. But then, your average angry snake is nicer than Fiona. I'm sure she's happier wherever she is now, burning orphans or whatever she does with her time. — Maureen Johnson

I'm starting to think I'll probably never have a girlfriend, which would be okay too. On those few occasions when a girl has actually flirted with me, tipped her head sideways and laughed at some stupid remark, all it did was make me angry. It seemed like she was playing a game with idiotic rules. First you laugh, then you tell a pretty lie, then you stick your tongue in each other's mouths, then you say something really mean and hurtful to each other, then you go off to find somebody else who wants to play the game. This is an activity for intelligent people? I think not. — Ellen Wittlinger

When you're a child, your best friend in the world is the kid who lives next door. It doesn't occur to you then that this is a matter of arbitrary circumstance. When you grow up you like to imagine that your friendships have a more substantial basis - common interests, like-mindedness, some genuine affinity. It's always a sad revelation that when a good friend acquires a girlfriend or a husband and disappears. You realize that,for them, your friendships was always only a matter of convenience, a fallback, and they simply don't need you anymore. There's nothing especially cynical about this; people are drawn to each other because they're giving each other something they both need, and they drift apart when they aren't getting it or don't need it anymore. Friendship have natural life spans, like love affairs or favorite songs. — Tim Kreider

Clearly angry with himself, Denny shook his head. "You needed me, and I wasn't there for you. And I'm really sorry. That was pretty shitty of me."
"Are you kidding?" Incredulous, Kellan pointed over at me. "I slept with your girlfriend ... repeatedly." I flinched, and Abby squeezed my hand a little tighter.
Denny frowned. "Well, that was pretty shitty of you. — S.C. Stephens

Venerable architecture critic Witold Rybczynski, for instance, suggests in his book How Architecture Works: A Humanist's Toolkit that "the first question you ask yourself approaching a building is: Where is the front door?" But this is by no means the first architectural question many among us will ask; it is altogether too straightforward a query for a segment of the population. Some of us deliberately and strategically seek out, say, an attic window within reach of a strong tree branch or an unlocked storm shelter leading down into someone's basement, even a badly fit screen door that looks easy to slip through around back. Perhaps you even did this yourself as a teenager, just looking for a new way to sneak out of the house past your bedtime or to avoid the all-seeing gaze of your girlfriend's parents. — Geoff Manaugh

Well, I said, needing to lighten the mood for him, next time Kai tries to, um, bust your balls, you can give it right back to him, because he's got a girlfriend now, too. — Wendy Higgins

I got into this business through my girlfriend Denisha. She's a specialist, provides a service for clients who find it hard to connect with women. Just 'cause you're housebound or in a wheelchair, doesn't mean your sex drive's gone. — Sarah Lotz

You say your ex-girlfriend left you for someone else. In other words, she found a brighter star in the sky. — Tony Sakalauskas

Men, if you're traveling with your wife or girlfriend and she mentions that it's time to start looking for a restaurant, you need to sit up and take notice. This means her blood sugar level has dropped and, for you, it ought to be a red alert with flashing lights and sirens. Get that woman fed! — John Gray

We kiss all the time." I clear my throat, then add, "We just ... do it in private."
"A smug expression crosses his face. "I don't buy it for a second, 'cause if you were my girlfriend and a stud like me was livin' in your house, I'd kiss you in front of the guy every chance I got as a reminder."
"A reminder of w-w-what?"
"That you were mine. — Simone Elkeles

I always see people tweeting about these crazy amazing things their boyfriend or girlfriend did for them. You shouldn't have to constantly be trying to prove your love when you're in a relationship. — Matt Prokop

I must say, girlfriend, you had much better taste than I ever gave you credit for," Coco said to the corpse. "When it came right down to it, after a brief inventory of your wardrobe, I see you had the money and you spent it reasonably well. And from the bottom of my heart? You are beautiful even in death. Brava, my dear. Brava. — James Patterson

If you were my girlfriend I would give you a hundred lightning bugs in a green glass jar, so you could always see your way. I would give you a meadow full of wildflowers, where no two blooms would ever be alike. I would give you my bicycle, with its golden eye to protect you. I would write a story for you, and make you a princess who lived in a white marble castle. If you would only like me, I would give you magic. If you would only like me. — Robert McCammon

Pull up a step, Ace," I told him. He did, but he had the fidgets. He kept looking for his lucky exit. I told him, "I didn't really want you. But I can't get ahold of Winger." Not that I'd tried. "What? Who?" "Your girlfriend. Big blond goof with no common sense, always has an angle, never tells the truth if a lie will do. Her." "Part of that fits everybody in this thing," Morley said. "Even up on the Hill, they turned the truth to quicksilver." "Untruths, too." "Quicksilver lies. I like that." "Deadly quicksilver lies." I spotted friend C.J. Carlyle. "Look who missed the slaughter at Maggie Jenn's place. — Glen Cook

Feels almost like real agent work, doesn't it?" Barron says as we walk down the street, heads bowed against the wind. "You know, if we caught your girlfriend committing a crime, I bet Yulikova would give us a bonus or something for being prize pupils."
"Except that we're not going to do that," I say.
"I thought you wanted us to be good guys." He grins a too-wide grin. He's enjoying needling me, and my reacting only makes it worse, but I can't stop.
"Not if it means hurting her," I say, my voice as deadly as I can make it. "Never her."
"Got it. Hurting, bad. But how do you excuse stalking her and her friends, little brother?"
"I'm not excusing it," I say. "I'm just doing it. — Holly Black

I have no reasons to be unhappy today. Normally, when I pick my mother up from the police station I go to the gym as soon as it opens and smash the bag for a while. This morning, however, I woke up to your pretty face and I remembered that you are my girlfriend. — Skyla Madi

When one is undone - sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one's own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery - much like a wobbly toddler or an unhinged politician, one immediately looks for someone else to blame. God. Your parents. Ex-girlfriends. Undocumented immigrants. Marvin in Human Resources. China. — Aisha Tyler

This is new to us, you know? Your mother's sorry. She's sorry that she hurt your feelings, and she wants you to invite your girlfriend over for dinner."
"So that she can make her feel bad and weird?"
"Well she is kind of weird, isn't she?"
Park didn't have the energy to be angry. He sighed and let his head fall back on the chair.
His dad kept talking. "Isn't that why you like her? — Rainbow Rowell

I believe the potluck tradition of entertaining is the equivalent of a teenage boy wanting to have sex with his girlfriend but who is too scared to go to CVS to buy condoms. If you can't handle providing all the courses for your dinner party, you can't handle the hosting duties of a dinner party. — Mindy Kaling

I came to your suite in the middle of the night to bring you a glass of water when you were too lazy to walk to the bathroom. I cleaned your girlfriend's vomit off the sofa cushions." Solara's voice raised a pitch. "For God's sake, I even fetched her panties when you two left them in the elevator! I wanted to amputate my own hand after that! — Melissa Landers

I didn't tell you because you're my girlfriend, not the police commissioner. And because it really isn't any of your business."
Carmela was taken aback for a moment. By his abruptness and his choice of words. "Your girlfriend? Is that what I am?"
"I guess so," said Babcock. He let loose a warm, throaty chuckle, then added, "Face it, we weren't exactly playing tiddlywinks last night."
"Well, no," said Carmela. "But girlfriend just sounds so formal."
"Friend?" suggested Babcock.
"No, no," said Carmela. "I really do prefer the former. — Laura Childs

I think that the work that's left to be done - and I see the end in sight at this point - is to just let go and stop talking about it. It's definitely 'stop talking about the whole size thing.' I don't go to my girlfriend's house and say, 'Hey, I'm your big friend, let's talk about big things.' It's not a topic of conversation within my friend group - I'm ready for society, Hollywood, the press, magazines, everyone, to just catch up and say, 'These women are just like the women we've been using for so long. Let's just throw them into the mix and stop talking about it.' — Ashley Graham

Sometimes the person that is best for you is the person right under your nose. I wanted to have a girlfriend in high school, and I know I would have treated a girl well, but instead I was just friends with a lot of girls. They ended up telling me later on, 'We're so perfect together,' but at the time, I wasn't the cool-enough guy. — Pete Wentz

You should change your Password"
"not exactly a priority so I haven't got'round to it"
"I'll do it for you"I offered.
His arms gave me a squeeze and he grinned.
"What'll you chose?"
before I could stop my mouth from forming the words, I said "Shebitchfromhell666 — Kristen Ashley

He stops and turns to me. "Do you think people would stare if I threw you over my shoulder? Because I really want to do that. Then I can ogle your ass and just run."
The look in his eye is a little manic. For a second, I think he's going to do it. Then he spies the heavily armed security officer a few feet away.
"Excuse me, sir?" he says, and the guard looks at him. "Would it be acceptable to carry my girlfriend like a sack of potatoes in order to get out of here quicker and make sweet love to her?"
The guard's mouth moves, but he resists smiling. "No, sir, that would not be acceptable."
"Piggyback?"
"Nope."
"Put her on a trolley?"
"No."
"You're no fun."
"So my wife keeps telling me. — Leisa Rayven

You know your problem, Quentin? You keep expecting people not to be themselves. I mean, I could hate you for being massively unpunctual and for never being interested in anything other than Margo Roth Spiegelman, and for, like, never asking me about how it's going with my girlfriend - but I don't give a shit, man, because you're you. My parents have a shit ton of black Santas, but that's okay. They're them. I'm too obsessed with a reference website to answer my phone sometimes when my friends call, or my girlfriend. That's okay, too. That's me. You like me anyway. And I like you. You're funny, and you're smart, and you may show up late, but you always show up eventually. — John Green

I'm guessing I'm your fake girlfriend?" B. J. Asks, sighing. It's a miracle that he figured it out. He's not usually the best with things that aren't spelled out for him.
"Of course, sweetie, " I say. I try not to think about the fact that I'm talking to B. J. Like we're in love. B. J. Is six-foot-four and 220 pounds. Not someone you want to think about being intimate with. — Lauren Barnholdt

Myrtle


How funny your name would be
if you could follow it back to where
the first person thought of saying it,
naming himself that, or maybe
some other persons thought of it
and named that person. It would
be like following a river to its source,
which would be impossible. Rivers have no source.
They just automatically appear at a place
where they get wider, and soon a real
river comes along, with fish and debris,
regal as you please, and someone
has already given it a name: St. Benno
(saints are popular for this purpose) or, or
some other name, the name of his
long-lost girlfriend, who comes
at long last to impersonate that river,
on a stage, her voice clanking
like its bed, her clothing of sand
and pasted paper, a piece of real technology,
while all along she is thinking, I can
do what I want to do. But I want to stay here. — John Ashbery

It's the Roman numeral for 10. 5/5/89 is my birthday: 5 plus 5 is 10, and this is my tenth year since I got into music. 'X' is the 24th letter in the alphabet, and I will turn 24 when this album comes out. 'X' is also a metaphor, as in 'ex-girlfriend': it implies you're progressing and moving on in life, not holding on to the past and your old ways. — Chris Brown

You know that moment when you hug somebody, when your heart feels warm and high in your chest and tingly? When you feel just for a second like a baby in a womb ... that nothing matters? That's how I want you to feel. That's what a girlfriend should do, I think. — Jake Vander Ark

With your lips on mine, your song still in my ears, I forget that I never said yes, that all of it - the dance, us - was a foregone conclusion. You told me to be your girlfriend. You didn't wait for me to answer about prom. I gave you my heart on a silver fucking platter and you ate it, piece by bloody piece. — Heather Demetrios

My girlfriend Siri is a food blogger, and we both love to entertain and eat. This is what happens when you're in your thirties: what was once a passion and real appetite for nightlife in New York City manifests itself into other things, like entertaining at home. — Carson Daly

Remind me again-why do you hate me so much?"
I don't hate you."
Could've fooled me."
She folded her cap of invisibility. "Look ... we're just not supposed to get along, okay? Our parents are rivals."
Why?"
She sighed. "How many reasons do you want? One time my mom caught Poseidon with his girlfriend in Athena's temple, which is hugely disrespectful. Another time, Athena and Poseidon competed to be the patron god for the city of Athens. Your dad created some stupid saltwater spring for his gift. My mom created the olive tree. The people saw that her gift was better, so they named the city after her."
They must really like olives."
Oh, forget it."
Now, if she'd invented pizza-that I could understand. — Rick Riordan

Stevie: "If you think he's a lecher and all men are disgusting, why do you want me to date?"
Zena: "Because, Stevie. Now and then, when the moon is full and bluish, when the galaxy is all calm and peaceful and serenity rules and even the falling stars are falling gracefully, and the wind creates a beautiful song, that's when you find one outstanding man. Kind. Loyal. Funny and smart, great in bed but not kinky. A lover in his head and in his body. A man who doesn't think as a dick-obsessed monkey with a brain the size of a testicle, but one who is thoughtful and can hold his emotions in one hand and hug you close with the other. A man who is a hunky, manly man but who can talk to you like your best girlfriend, because that's what he wants to be for you. Your best friend."
(Page 44) — Cathy Lamb

If you were sitting quietly on your couch, waiting for your girlfriend to come back inside so you could finish watching your movie, and while you were waiting, someone called you up and said "I'll give you a million dollars if you can guess what's going to happen next," you absolutely would not guess "I am going to be brutally and unexpectedly attacked by a goose in my own home." Even if you had a hundred guesses, you would not guess that. — Allie Brosh

You know how on Christmas day, the day feels different, even if you're just sitting in your chair waiting for your girlfriend to put her face on and you haven't even started any of the festivities yet, the day still feels different. The electrons are fatter and pushier. — Bill Callahan

Don't waste your time trying to look all bad at me. See, I know you, man," Howard said. "School Bus Sam. Mr. Fireman. You go all heroic, but then you disappear. Don't you? It kind of comes and goes with you. Everyone last night is all, 'Where's Sam? Where's Sam?' And I had to say, 'Well, kids, Sam is off with Astrid the Genius because Sam can't be hanging out with regular people like us. Sam has to go off with his hot blond girlfriend.'"
"She's not my girlfriend," Sam said, and instantly regretted it.
Howard laughed, delighted to have provoked him. "See, Sam, you always got to be in your own little world, too good for everyone, while me and Captain Orc and our boys here, we're always going to be around. You step away, and we step up. — Michael Grant

So how's Cupid Day treating you?" He pops a mint in his mouth and leans closer. It grosses me out, like he thinks he can seduce me with fresh breath. "Any big romantic plans tonight? Got someone special to cozy up next to?" He raises his eyebrows at me.
[ ... ]
"We'll see," I say, smiling. "What about you? Are you going to be all by your lonesome? Table for one?"
He leans forward even more, and I stay perfectly still, willing myself not to pull away.
"Now why would you assume that?" He winks at me, obviously thinking that this is my version of flirting
like I'm going to offer to keep this company or something.
I smile even wider. "Because if you had a real girlfriend," I say, quietly but clearly, so he can hear every word perfectly, "you wouldn't be hitting on high school girls. — Lauren Oliver

Curran strode toward me, eyes blazing. "If I let her go, I'll need a replacement. Want to volunteer for the job."
He looked like he wouldn't be taking no for an anser. I swiped Slayer from its sheath and backed away from the edge of the roof. "And be girlfriend number twenty-three soon to be dumped in favor of girlfriend number twenty-four who has slightly bigger boobs? I don't think so."
He kept coming. "Oh Yeah?"
"Yeah, you get these beautiful women, make them dependent on you, and then you dump them. Well, this time a woman left you first, and your enormous ego can't deal with it. And to think that I hoped we could talk like reasonable adults. If we were the last two people on Earth, I'd find myself a moving island so I could get the hell away from you. — Ilona Andrews

A girlfriend once shared with me the theory about the three buckets we hold in our lives. One bucket contains our connection, another our vitality, and a third our contribution. The theory goes like this: when one bucket is empty, the others need to be filled. When you're feeling lonely, alienated, and low on connection, boost your vitality and contribution. Take a walk, cook a nutritious meal, volunteer to bake cookies for the blood drive. When you're feeling spent and low on energy, on stamina, perhaps you've been neglecting connections and contributions. Invite a few friends over for takeout and brainstorm creative projects. When you're feeling as if you have nothing to give, nothing to contribute, fill your connection and vitality buckets. — Erin Loechner

'You claim to be the man, you want me for a lover,
So you can do my girlfriends and my sister and my mother?'
I said, 'You're very blunt,' with quickness to the cue,
'So whassup with your mother, does she look as good as you?' — Dres

your boy knows people who carry a lot of guns. As long as he doesn't sleep with anyone's girlfriend again, we should be fine." Oh yeah, if they could freeze the smoldering look on her face as she glared at him, it could be sold as a lethal weapon on the black market and make them all rich. "Pardon?" Caillen let out an annoyed breath. "Fain has a mental disorder that causes him to spout random stupidity for no apparent reason. It's been a source of constant embarrassment for his brother since they were kids. Ignore him." Fain — Sherrilyn Kenyon

If he checks your phone bills or shopping receipts, something isn't right. Controlling your partner in any way is unhealthy. I've been with my girlfriend for five years and it's important to me that she feels relaxed and free. I hate to see someone made to feel unsafe and helpless - particularly women as men are physically stronger. — Ashley Banjo

I didn't realize I had a royal stalker. I'm flattered, Your Majesty." "Even better - you had an entire government team assigned to digging up information on you. They reported twice daily for over a week. You did run off with the most-wanted criminal in the world, after all." "And your girlfriend." Kai — Marissa Meyer

Just for the record, a nymphomaniac girlfriend might be great material for imagination, but in real life, trust me, having a nympho in your bed night after night is not as fantastic as it sounds. At worst, they are sick; at best they are exhausting, and in both cases they wear you out. — Carol Vorvain

I didn't know what else to do. So now I'm here, my pride in the toilet, hoping I can stay in my ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend's bachelor pad, and I want to kill myself. And I can suffer through that if it means James will be safe. But right now I'm still waiting for your shithead of a boyfriend to show up and try to kill me. — Tahereh Mafi

It's always a sad revelation when a good friend acquires a girlfriend or a husband and disappears. You realize that, for them, your friendship was always only a matter of convenience, a fallback, and they simply don't need you anymore. There — Tim Kreider

Just for a while": Death's opening chat-up line in His great seduction, before he drugged you with soporific comforts, distracted you with minor luxuries and ensnared you with long-term payment plans.
Join the Rat Race "just for a while."
Concentrate on your career "just for a while."
Move in with your girlfriend "just for a while."
Find a bigger place, out in the burbs "just for a while."
Lie down in that wooden box "just for a while. — Christopher Brookmyre

Look to yourself for the answer - stop calling your girlfriends and stop calling your mom - you know if it's working or not, you either feel like a goddess or you don't — Lady Gaga

Occasionally, a dog will be presented as some training method for having a baby. "My girlfriend and I got a dog. We are going to see if we can handle that before we have kids." This is a little like testing the waters of being a vegetarian by having lettuce on your burger. Okay, maybe that metaphor doesn't make sense, but neither does using a dog as a training method for having a baby. — Jim Gaffigan

The ceremonial oat tour."
She reaches in the shopping bag and takes out the milk bar with almonds, ripping it open.
"It must be so hard for guys in relationships - to have just one girlfriend completely devoted to taking care of all your whole-grain needs. I can see how at the first opportunity you'd just have to get out there and - sow. — Emma McLaughlin

There is a Western phenomenon called the male midlife crisis. Very often it is heralded by divorce. What history might have done to you, you bring about on purpose: separation from woman and child. Don't tell me that such men aren't tasting the ancient flavors of death and defeat.
In America, with divorce achieved, the midlifer can expect to be more recreational, more discretionary. He can almost design the sort of crisis he is going to have: motorbike, teenage girlfriend, vegetarianism, jogging, sports car, mature boyfriend, cocaine, crash diet, powerboat, new baby, religion, hair transplant.
Over here, now, there's no angling around for your male midlife crisis. It is brought to you and it is always the same thing. It is death. — Martin Amis

That's one of the problems with doing anything for a long time. Staying home, for instance. The longer you stay, the more you believe your identity is wrapped up in the people and things around you. You become trapped. It seems as if you fear change because you can't let go of this illusion of yourself as being what? The good granddaughter? The girlfriend who can't choose between her boyfriend and her family? Seems as if your fear of change is really just the same fear of death you mention in your first class. — Suzanne Morrison

It sucks enough when girlfriends break plans with each other for a boy, but at least that's not against the natural order of things, like when a boy blows off his girlfriend for friends ... Or maybe I've had it wrong all along.
Since friendships usually outlast relationships, why shouldn't friends receive preferential treatment?
Because you don't sleep with your friends! — Daria Snadowsky

Nothing says 'classy' like posting bond for your girlfriend so you can escort her to a black-tie dinner. — Linda Morris

What the hell is going on in here?"

Hannah jumps in surprise when Coach Jensen appears in the shower area.

Oh, hey, Coach," I call out. "Not what it looks like."

His dark brows knit in a displeased frown. "It looks like you're taking a shower in front of your girlfriend. In my locker room."

"Okay, then yeah, it's what it looks like. But I promise, it's all very PG. Well, except for the fact that I'm naked. But don't worry, no kinky shit is going to happen." I grin at him. "I'm trying to win her back."

Coach's mouth opens, then closes, then opens again. I can't tell if he's amused or pissed or ready to wash his hands of this whole thing. Finally, he nods and opts for option number three. "Carry on. — Elle Kennedy

When you're in morgue you're seeing life that no longer exists. It gives you an appreciation when you look someone in the eye, you shake their hand, and you hug your friends, your girlfriend, your family. It just gives you an appreciation for the life that surrounds you. At the same time you understand how fragile it is. That you don't need to be an idiot or get so angry at times. — Milo Ventimiglia

Esmeralda, don't blame your brother for his girlfriend's lack of wits, Sam admonished. — L.D. Davis

Get away from my ex-girlfriend, you moany little whinge-bag.'
Caelen took a deep breath, like he was in pain, and stood up. His voice was low, guttural. 'I was hoping I'd get the chance to kill you.'
'You won't be killing anyone, you sad little emo git.'
'You've stood in the way of our love for long enough.'
'Just listening to you makes me want to top myself, you self-pitying Paranormal Romance novel reject.'
Caelen glared. 'Stop insulting me.'
'Why? If you cry will your mascara run? — Derek Landy

Life for women in rural Scotland is not like anywhere else in the world. We all live very far apart, and you don't just ring your girlfriend up for a cup of coffee. There really is no sense of community, no pubs, no clubs. The golf clubs are male prerogatives, and the women are isolated and have to have their own resources. — Rosamunde Pilcher

The girlfriend chorus had taken up residence in her head and now said: But can't you see he doesn't want to, you've not been together for nearly a year. What are you doing? She thought: I should walk away. But I don't want to. I want to stand here with him. It's the only place in the world I want to be. The girlfriend chorus said: Where's your pride? She — Lena Andersson

You throw the kitchen sink at your early books. You put everything in there. It's like when you meet a new girlfriend or boyfriend, you tell them all your best stories. By the time you have been married for 10 years, they are crying, 'Shut up!' — Mark Billingham

Do you want to know what one definition of bizarre might be? Driving to your closeted boyfriend's pretend-girlfriend's house to watch them prepare for a faux date. — Sean Kennedy

I am a spiritual person in an eastern religion kind of way. I learned that happiness for all of us is a switch that you flick in your brain. It doesn't have anything to do with getting a new house, a new car, a new girlfriend, or a new pair of shoes. Our culture is very much about that; we are never happy with what we have today. — Tom Ford

I sound awful saying it but I think it can be like that. I see a lot of people in unstimulating relationships. And not just boyfriend-girlfriend relationships. They find themselves in stagnant friendships. If people were a little less scared [of ending things] they'd get more out of life ... You meet the right person at the right time and they fulfil a certain something in your life. You fulfil something in theirs. But there's a time limit to that. Unless you choose to be bloody good company for the rest of your life, do you know what I mean? — Laura Marling

It just gets frustrating playing the girlfriend, It's just this awful feeling, sitting in your house, waiting for a script to come. I like to be more proactive. — Joey Lauren Adams

Honey, there's not a single woman in this town who doesn't know about Sanctuary, Land of the Bodacious Gods. Heck, me and my girlfriends want to get together and vote Mama Lo an award for her policy against hiring any man not seriously buff ... Not that you're not buff. You can certainly hold your own against the Sanctuary Hotties. But face it, haven't you ever noticed that this place is like Hooters for women? (Sunshine) No, I can honestly say that I've never noticed how good-looking the men at Sanctuary are. Nor have I ever cared. (Talon) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

It's one thing to be a high achiever; it's quite another to privately sneer at your girlfriend's friends after feigning friendliness because they have the "misfortune" to drive a bus for a living. — Mallory Ortberg

No relationship is perfect nor will anyone ever be the best boyfriend or girlfriend. Long as you put in the effort and try to make your lover happy. That's all we can ask for. — Kevin McCarty

Nadia...first, I'm flattered you like me. You're a wonderful girl, and I'm lucky that I met you. You're one of my best friends, my only friends. And since that night with Ivy, you've been amazing. You and your brother have truly been there when I needed you to be."
I sigh. "Maybe if things had stayed normal - if I never got attacked, if I never met Ivy - I may have been able to return your feelings. But now...right now, I need a friend more than a girlfriend to help me get through this."
Nadia didn't look very happy, but she nodded; she understood. "You really liked her, didn't you?"
There was no doubt about my answer.
"Yeah. I did. I still do. And I will for the rest of my life. — Colleen Boyd

Yeah you were lucky, you had your chances to don't get shoot, but after all you done it for your girlfriend, but what kind of love is that?
So far you got lucky a lot of shoots touched you, so far you are the lucky shooty victim. — Deyth Banger

You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift. — Jeff Foxworthy

When you look in the mirror, it's usually to fix your hair or put on makeup. To examine your body searching for problem areas. We look at ourselves to see the flaw, not beauty. And we look at predictable times, in the morning, after using the bathroom, before bed. We hardly ever see ourselves when we aren't prepared for inspection. But only when you're unprepared can you see your true self, your true beauty. — Valerie Frankel

Ah, like how Sharon Parker's bra kind of found its way into your locker?"
He leaned in, resting his elbows on the table. "Are you going to constantly bring these things up the entire time we're dating?"
"Sorry. Just using my prior knowledge to try and gauge what kind of fake boyfriend you're going to make."
"Well, if your bitterness is any indication of the kind of fake girlfriend you're going to be, I won't hold my breath for you to fake put out. — Jennifer Shirk

I'd like to see you try to have my job. Around here I'm more connected than a Kennedy. As for our animals, there is no rapin' involved, they are more than willing, just ask your "girlfriend." She is probably gettin' a little animal lovin', and it's probably better than you, which is why she isn't answering your calls. Also, we aren't hillbillies, we are rednecks. Don't you have a map fucktard, no mountains in this part of the state, but you bring your ass down here, and I'll do you a solid. I'll introduce you to the fuckin' bubba-brigade. Have a good night, and if Mhisery ever rolls off the animal she is on, I'll tell her you called. — Alex Morgan

If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. They don't have a choice. — Jimmy Fallon

You're with me, Sadie. When you're off the clock, you're not my employee. You're my.. Air."
I frowned at him. "Your air?"
He grinned. "Well, girlfriend seems to be a shallow word for what I feel for you.. — Abbi Glines

I know, but there were all those people there, and you just don't go around outing someone like that ... "
"Yeah, well you just don't go around fucking your best friend's dad either, you prick!" For a moment I thought she was going to hit me again, but she pulled it back. "That's a fucking convenient sense of ethics you've got going on there, girlfriend. — Amelia C. Gormley

Restaurant, bar, night club. . . Eat, drink, walk. . . YAWN. . .
For some people, this is ALL they can think of when getting ready for a date.
Isn't a "shortlist" like this enough to make you and your girlfriend want to yawn?
Why not fill your love story with truly wondrous and exciting activities, or surprise your date with something unusual and adventurous?
Infuse your personal life with miracles and astonishment - not monotony.
Isn't this what everyone dreams of on our little planet? At the same time, who holds us back from fulfilling our own dreams, other than ourselves?
Fill the life around you with joy. It will be returned to you tenfold.

CREATE happy moments. . . MAKE miracles happen!
LOVE is a miracle. — Sahara Sanders

Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness? — Dov Davidoff

I dunno. You have a lot of different loves in your lifetime, but only one is right, you know? You can love a friend and you can love a person for the rest of your life, and it's two different things. What about, like, loving your first girlfriend and loving your last girlfriend? They're both different, but they're both love. Just because you love one person doesn't mean you can't love another person afterward, but there's only one love that's right. — J.R. Lenk

You want your art to be hip and seem cool to people, but a great deal of what passes for hip or cool is now highly commercially driven. And some if it is important art. I think 'The Simpsons' is important art. On the other hand, it's also, in my opinion, relentlessly corrosive to the soul and everything is parodied and everything is ridiculous. Maybe I'm old but for my part I can be steeped in about an hour of it and then I have to walk away and look at a flower.
If there's something to be talked about, that thing is this weird conflict between what my girlfriend calls the 'inner sap,' the part of us that can really wholeheartedly weep at stuff and the part of us that has to live in a world of smart, jaded, sophisticated people and wants very much to be taken seriously by those people. — David Foster Wallace