Douche Canoe Quotes & Sayings

And he paddled away in his douche canoe. — Joe Hill

I fight the urge to call him a mother-fucking douche canoe and glare down at his shoes, my lip curling. — Belle Aurora

There are five levels of the douche hierarchy: douche, douche bag, douche canoe, douche nozzle and right at the top, the king of it all, when the douche is displaying phenomenal amounts of doucheness, is a douche rocket. It's when someone is such a douche, like the KING of douches, they can no longer be described as a douche nozzle, they are ALL the levels of douchery put together, and douche rocked is used. — Christine Zolendz

It was a very imaginative, bitey possum and also a total douche-canoe. — Jenny Lawson

The guy just stood there. Hello. There're zombies everywhere. Try looking behind you, douche canoe. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

I was just telling Steve how much you appreciate motorcycles and it just so happens that he has one"
Whoopee. Like I fucking cared.
"Oh yeah?" I said, glancing at Steve. "What kind of ride?"
The douche canoe grinned at me, revealing two perfectly straight and glaringly white rows of teeth.
"A BMW," he said. "R12 - "
"A sports bike?" I interrupted, wrinkling up my nose. "How super gay for you."
...
"Sports bikes are for pussies. True fucking story. — Madeline Sheehan

And get some self-esteem. What the fuck is that? It's so annoying to see a pretty girl see herself as not worthy. You know what it makes us guys think you aren't worthy? We see you how you see you. You're pretty and funny and smart. Stop being such a douche-canoe. — Tara Brown

No one gives out Congratulations on Not Being a Douche-Canoe medals, because good behavior is part of the social contract. — Jen Lancaster

And now?" I touched Baltic's cheek, drawing his attention away from tragic memories. "Is he being coldly mad now?"
"No. I thought at first he was, but I see now that the act of being raised as a shade has changed him, leached the madness out of him."
Behind us, present-day Constantine yelled, "You call me a douche canoe? I am not the douche canoe
you are. No, you are more than that
you are a douche speed-boat!"
"Most of the madness," Baltic qualified. — Katie MacAlister