Donut Quotes & Sayings

I always thought Woody Harrelson is quite a persuasive guy. He's the kind of guy who can call you up in the middle of the night and tell you, 'Let's all go get a donut!' And you're thinking, 'It's the middle of the night,' but somehow you still get up and go get a donut. — Jesse Eisenberg

Life is all about focusing on the goal, not on the donut hole. — Debasish Mridha

That was what collaboration meant for Steve Woz: the ability to share a donut and a brainwave with his laid-back, nonjudgmental, poorly dressed colleagues - who minded not a whit when he disappeared into his cubicle to get the real work done. — Susan Cain

The man behind the counter at the donut store had been somewhat less than courteous ever since I had prematurely tried to hypnotize him during my first month of practice. Now as I re-entered the donut store he fixed me with a chilly glare. I sauntered up to the counter, then I threw upon him my hypnotizingest glare. "You are getting sleep," I told him. "No, you are getting sleepy," he retorted, his hypnotic eyes boring into mine. The son-of-a-bitch had been studying hypnotism too! "You are a young Georage Washington, and you've been chopping down the cherry tree," I asserted, and he became the boy President. "I cannot tell a lie," he piped in a childish voice. But it didn't last, and he shook my control free. "You are Anne Boleyn," he said, and it was true! "Don't cut off my head!" I begged... — Michael Kupperman

The optimist sees the doughnut but the pessimist see 452 calories and a shed load of sugar ... — James Minter

Probably millions of Americans got up this morning with a cup of coffee, a cigarette and a donut. No wonder they are sick and fouled up. — Jack LaLanne

Is anyone ever really the same after being pushed through an opening the size of a donut hole only to end up wearing a fez? — Dakota Cassidy

Despite romantic fantasies about caring candidates who learn of America in donut shops, most politicians rely on media to teach them what concerns the average person. — Dick Morris

I'm high off the indo creepin' with the quickness to the cut, bust one to his head while he munches on that donut. — Dr. Dre

It dawned on him that he really could be a cop if he wanted to, and it dawned on him that he'd had this revelation while eating a donut, and it that wasn't a sign, he didn't know what was. — Doug Dorst

Do you know how many calories are in butter and cheese and ice cream? Would you get your dog up in the morning for a cup of coffee and a donut? — Jack LaLanne

Hollywood Rule:

RULE #1: You only need a license to do three things in the film business: blow up a building, wash someone's hair, or drive a truck. You need no license, certification, documentation, or, for that matter, any filmmaking experience to be a writer, producer, director, actor, or even a studio executive. All you need is money. — David Marder

I've recently noticed "as if for the first time" that when people pray they always look "upward" - i.e. perpendicular to whatever place they're standing - or kneeling or groveling. I deduce that they conceive of their "god" as topologically isomorphic to a huge donut, about a thousand miles wider than Earth. — Robert Anton Wilson

All those posters and PSAs and health class presentations on body image and the way you can burst blood vessels in your face and rupture your esophagus if you can't stop ramming those sno balls down your throat every night, knowing they'll have to come back up again, you sad weak girl.
Because of all this, Coach surely can't tell a girl, a sensitive, body-conscious teenage girl, to get rid of the tender little tuck around her waist, can she?
She can.
Coach can say anything.

And there's Emily, keening over the toilet bowl after practice, begging me to kick her in the gut so she can expel the rest, all that cookie dough and cool ranch, the smell making me roil. Emily, a girl made entirely of donut sticks, cheese powder, and haribo.
I kick, I do.
She would do the same for me. — Megan Abbott

Tommy had felt alone in a crowd before, even inferior to everyone in a crowd, but now he felt, well, different. It wasn't just the clothes and the make up, it was the humanity. He wasn't part of it. Heightened senses or not, he felt like he had his nose pressed against the window, looking in. The problem was, it was the window of a donut shop. — Christopher Moore

The hidden master of the Filipino-style Chinese donut is Benito Taganes, proprietor and king of the bubbling vats at Mabuhay. Mabuhay, dark, cramped, invisible from the street, stays open all night long. It drains the bars and cafes after hours, concentrates the wicked and the guilty along its chipped Formica counter, and thrums with the gossip of criminals, policemen, shtarkers and shlemiels, whores and night owls. With the fat applauding in the fryers, the exhaust fans roaring, and the boom box blasting the heartsick kundimans of Benito's Manila childhood, the clientele makes free with their secrets. A golden mist of kosher oil hangs in the air and baffles the senses. Who could overhear with ears full of KosherFry and the wailing of Diomedes Maturan? — Michael Chabon

The sudden and abrupt removal of my all-consuming goal ... well, it was like I was a donut, and somebody had sucked all the jelly out of me. But I could stuff new jelly in there. It would just get my hands a little sticky in the process. — Brandon Sanderson

So, you play Batman at night, and fix-it man during the day?" His nose wrinkled in a way that was entirely too adorable for his tough guy demeanor. She didn't say a word about it though, knowing he'd never do it again if she pointed it out.

"Batman? Batman's a pathetic jelly donut. He's a little Richie Rich that prances 'round in fancy tights and dress up panties, too much of a wuss to do anythin' without a mask and a prepubescent scarecrow as a sidekick. — Amy Cook

Outside, milling under the ubiquitous gaze of security cameras, are bright splashes of colorful souls wearing crystals, beads, and Native American Indian paraphernalia; middle-aged academics with "Erowid" drug website t-shirts; and passengers that give you that odd conspiratorial smile that says, "yes, we are here for the conference." And here we are chowing down on McDonalds and donut King, getting our last hits of civilization before hitting the jungle city of Iquitos and shamanic boot camp. It feels like some whacked-out reality TV show, a generational snapshot of a new psychedelic wave just before it breaks. Bright-eyed Westerners about to die and be reborn in the humid jungles of Peru, drinking the hallucinogenic brew ayahuasca ... — Rak Razam

That's my favorite food group: donut. I love the donut. — Laura Linney

I'll take a donut over a man any day of the week. — Janet Evanovich

Anhil's coffee was hot, dark, full-flavored, perfect chasing the equally well-turned donut: golden brown, dense without being leaden, not too sweet. — A.M. Homes

It's why we oppose Citizens United from that right-wing Supreme Court. In 2012, I also said the Tea Party "acted like terrorists" and called a donut shop manager in Milwaukee who wanted lower taxes a "smartass." And I said the number one issue is a three-letter word, J-O-B-S." I'm proud of who I am. — Joe Biden

It drains the bars and cafes after hours, concentrates the wicked and the guilty along its chipped Formica counter, and thrums with the gossip of criminals, policemen, shtarkers,and schlemiels, whores and night owls ... three or four floaters, solitaries, and drunks between benders lean against the sparkly resin counter, sucking the tea from their shtekelehs and working the calulations of their next big mistake. — Michael Chabon

I'm an all-things-in-moderation kind of person. I do eat a warm donut occasionally. I especially enjoy a cider donut when I'm apple picking. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. — Rachael Ray

Go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. — Stephen King

Why did the warrior cross the road? [Koldo]
That's easy. To kill the guy on the other side. [Nicola]
A bud of amusement had her smiling.
Knock, knock. [Koldo]
Who's there? [Nicola]
Donut.
Donut who?
Donut run from me, puny girl. — Gena Showalter

If you stop eating donutes you will live 3 years longer.It's just 3 more years that you want a donut. < . )
< . — Lewis Black

Relevance is kind of a weird thing. If one does topical material, it makes sense to want to be relevant. But if someone talks about donut sprinkles, it's not quite as important. Unless the U.S. Supreme Court makes a decision outlawing donut sprinkles. — Brian Regan

Anyone who can fail to rejoice in the enticing squish/crunch of a fast-food French fry, or the delight of a warmed piece of grocery-store donut, is living half a life — Lucy Knisley

I was as good as resisting Griff Shipley as Homer Simpson was at resisting a donut. — Sarina Bowen

I appreciate it. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some more moping to do. Tell Taylor I know he's the one who ate my maple donut, and if he does it again, I'm going to shank him with a spork. — Charlie Cochet

Twenty minutes later, I walk out of Melinda's hotel with a plate of finger sandwiches, a bag of prostitute clothes, and a weird wedge on my head that makes me look like you could tip me upside down and fill it with cream of mushroom.
I need another donut. — Cyn Balog

Our final takoyaki surprise happened at Mister Donut. — Matthew Amster-Burton

[about Roscoe 'Fatty' Arbuckle during the filming of Windy Riley Goes Hollywood (1931)]: Oh, I thought he was magnificent in films. He was a wonderful dancer... a wonderful ballroom dancer, in his heyday. It was like floating in the arms of a huge donut... really delightful. — Louise Brooks

This is a donut. It is very sweet, and very good. But if you've never tasted a donut, you wouldn't really know how sweet and how good a donut is ... meditation is like that. Transcendental Meditation gives an experience much sweeter than the sweetness of this donut. — David Lynch

If you eat one less candy bar or donut a day, you're doing your body some good. — Louise Hay

I will keep a substantial long exposure to gold
which serves as a Jelly Donut antidote for my portfolio. While I'd love for our leaders to adopt sensible policies that would reduce the tail risks so that I could sell our gold, one nice thing about gold is that it doesn't even have quarterly conference calls. — David Einhorn

Lucy took a single plain donut from the bag and held it for me to take a bite. Tender and light and still warm from the frying. Not too sugary. — Robert Crais

I was the delicious, chocolate-covered unicorn donut, — Jaymin Eve

She was carrying two coffees and a donut bag,
and right then and there, he fell in love.
-Animal Magnetism — Jill Shalvis

He isn't wearing a shirt ... He shouldn't just walk around like that; it's obscene to have to look at someone so perfect. He should do the world a favor and eat a donut or two. — Amy A. Bartol

America is at war. Go eat a donut. — Chris Pratt

how have i ended up dating this sprinkled donut of a person? — David Levithan

It was as if God himself saw that my intention was to make my outer self match my inner fabulosity and didn't think the world could handle such an explosion of amazingness. So instead of letting me get to the gym where I would have transformed myself into a walking sex god, he created a Dunkin' Donuts out of nothing and then gave them away for free. I didn't make it to the gym. I had a bear claw instead. And a maple bar. And some donut holes. And then some more donut holes. — T.J. Klune

Babe?" Hop called.
"As of now, I'm not talking to you," I announced with a mouth full of donut.
"Love you more than life. — Kristen Ashley

That was so completely unfair that I told Tantalus to go chase a donut, which didn't help his mood. — Rick Riordan

I tried explaining to Blackjack that taking a flying horse to a donut shop would give every cop in there a heart attack, but he didn't seem to get it. — Rick Riordan

She's a lot more than nice," Gran said with a leer, "after our last date, I came home with my face looking like a glazed donut. That gal's juices are flowing. She must be on some kind of hormone replacement therapy. — Nick Pageant

Your first lesson: My studio is not a democracy. Have a donut. — Jandy Nelson

On the night of the winter solstice, when the dead get their annual reprieve, they go up to the 24-hour donut shop and wedding chapel to get hitched. Marriage is a good and proper pursuit for dead people. For a while, it relieves the dark, shuddering loneliness of the afterlife. — Rachel Swirsky

Monday morning and there's one less donut than there should be.
Keen observers note the reduced mass straightaway but stay silent, because saying, 'Hey, is that only six donuts?' would betray their donut experience. It's not great for your career to be known as the person who can spot the difference between six and seven donuts at a glance. — Max Barry

The optimist sees the donut, the pessimist sees the hole. — Oscar Wilde

When you think about a barbecue, most people think of slabs of ribs, but you don't need to do that in today's culinary barbecue world. Short ribs, barbecue chicken, skewered shrimp, vegetable kebabs, lobster mac and cheese with or without the lobster, and a donut bread pudding for dessert that's absolutely amazing. These are things that are safe whether you're a novice or a professional. Be creative and stay within your culinary pantheon. — G. Garvin

Claiming that someone's marriage is against your religion is like being angry at someone for eating a donut because you're on a diet. — Seth Rogen

Quit playing Marco Polo with my ass, Christopher Columbus. This isn't an exploration, so you aren't putting your ding dong in this donut hole — B.B. Reid

A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish. — Chevy Chase

He inhaled sharply. "I'm glad to have you back."

I nodded, swallowing thickly. "I'm glad to be back."

"Hell, we all can agree on that." Luke picked up a donut. "There's nothing creepier than having a psychotic Apollyon caged in the basement."

"Ha," I said.

Luke winked and then tossed the donut to me. I caught it. Sugar flew everywhere.

"Or waiting for her to break loose and run amuck," Deacon added as I took a bite. He glanced across the table. "Or waiting for someone, no names mentioned, to not listen to us and go say hi."

Olivia's cheeks reddened as she stood. She approached slowly, waited for me to finish chewing. I started to apologize. "I'm really sorry - "

She socked me in the stomach. Hard. I doubled over, gasping for air. "Gods. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

Hey, boss, said Blackjack. Can we take a donut break? I wiped the sweat off my brow. "I wish, big guy, but the fight's still going on." In fact, I could hear it getting closer. My friends needed help. I jumped on Blackjack and we flew north toward the sound of explosions. FIFTEEN — Rick Riordan

I had received a t-shirt from my best friend Veronica at my police academy graduation. It reads, 'Throw your donut in the opposite direction and the cops won't get you.' I love wearing that t-shirt. — Suzie Ivy

The issue is not the thing, but rather our approach to the thing. Same as with food. Our temptation is to objectify the problem, trying to locate sin in the stuff - in the tobacco, in the alcohol, in the gun, in the donut - instead of where sin is actually located, which is right under the breastbone. — Douglas Wilson

Percy stared at his jelly donut. He had a rocky history with Nico di Angelo. The guy had once tricked him into visiting Hades's palace, and Percy had ended up in a cell. But most of the time, Nico sided with the good guys. He certainly didn't deserve slow suffocation in a bronze jar, and Percy couldn't stand seeing Hazel in pain.
"We'll rescue him," he promised her. "We have to. The prophecy says he holds the key to endless death. — Rick Riordan

When you have a flaming hot donut in your hand and your trying to eat it your not worried about 10 and 2 — Jase Robertson

I like freedom. I wake up in the morning and say, 'I don't know, should I have a popsicle or a donut?' You know, who knows? — Oscar Nunez

He looked at Richard and the donut with great intensity, as if this were the donut that would fix Richard, as if there were certain donuts that were better for certain ailments, as if a donut could have curative powers. — A.M. Homes

I fell in love with Erica Kane the summer before my freshman year of high school. Like all red-blooded teen American boys, I'd come home from water polo practice and eat a box of Entenmann's Pop'Ems donut holes in front of the TV while obsessively fawning over 'All My Children' and Erica, her clothes, and her narcissistic attitude. — Andy Cohen

Anyhow, the hole in the donut is at least digestible. — H.L. Mencken

Is the meeting over?" Grace asked. "Should I clean up?" Charlie knew exactly what was going to happen. "He's going to say he doesn't want a donut, but he totally does. Save him three. He'll eat them before lunch and then pretend he didn't. Oh, and he likes his coffee really black, like almost espresso like." Grace stopped. "Seriously? I've been making it medium." "He likes really dark roast." Another swat hit her ass. "I hate everything. — Lexi Blake

You are looking at the largest portal ever. The internet. You can start on the Wikipedia page for jelly donut, and four link clicks later, end up on the meaning of life. — Jake

They are bearcrawls ... a bearclaw is a donut — Jillian Michaels

In physics a system is said to have a symmetry if its properties are unaffected by a certain transformation such as rotating it in space or taking its mirror image. For example, if you flip a donut over, it looks exactly the same (unless it has a chocolate topping, in which case it is better just to eat it). — Stephen Hawking

I'll take my alkaloid diuretics wherever I can get them. If there isn't a 7-11 in the vicinity, a Winchell's donut shop is Plan B. The joe at both places is almost indistinguishable, like the difference between Johnny Walker and Cutty Sark, but only cab drivers and hobos draw such fine distinctions. — Gary Reilly

Living in China has made me appreciate my own country, with its tiny, ethnically diverse population of unassuming donut-eaters. — Jan Wong

Motherfuckers from Harvard to Harlem respect the Pew Research Center, and hearing this, the concerned patrons turned around in their squeaky plastic seats as best they could, given that donut shop swivel chairs swivel only six degrees in either direction. — Paul Beatty

I admit," Morgan said with another withering look, "it's no donut. — Jim Butcher

As it turned out, everyone wanted a doughnut. Jace wanted two. — Cassandra Clare

I pop another piece of donut in my mouth and smile. "It's fine. I won't tell a soul you checked me out."
"I wasn't - " He clears his throat. "Forget it. You're ridiculous."
I'm grinning outright now, because that's two you're ridiculouses this morning, and when he takes to repeating himself, I know I've successfully gotten under his skin.
Georgie, one; Andrew Mulroney, Esquire, zero. — Lauren Layne

I sized Seth up. As usual his khaki pants were pristine, perfectly pressed, not a dirt stain in sight. Seth Allen had to be the only person on the planet who could make it through pitch-black underground tunnels without getting a speck of dirt on his pants, but give the kid a jelly donut, and jam would end up in places jam had absolutely no right to be. — Lisa Roecker

If love eats the donut, does time eat the hole? — Tom Robbins

Go Chase A Donut. -Percy Jackson. — Rick Riordan