Cheeseburger Quotes & Sayings

I write late into the night at the Tutweiler in downtown Birmingham, and try hard to turn down that second cheeseburger at Milo's over by UAB, which has the best one in the whole wide world. — Rick Bragg

My mom's a vegan. She grounded me for six months last summer for eating a cheeseburger from McDonald's. Can you imagine how long she'd ground me for eating a person? — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Life is too short to miss out on the beautiful things like a double cheeseburger. — Channing Tatum

Prince's music calmed me as much as masturbation or a cheeseburger. — Jonathan Lethem

I don't even have money for a cheeseburger! — Allen Iverson

[From a typical McDonald's meal] this is how the laboratory measured our meal: soda (100%), milk shake (78%), salad dressing (65%), chicken nuggets (56%), cheeseburger (52%), and French fries (23%). — Michael Pollan

Myrnin: "Oh, an all-night drive-through! I could murder a cheeseburger. Don't you just love this century?"
Oliver: "Focus, you fool. — Rachel Caine

It's important to keep a balanced diet, but I'm not a fan of deprivation. If I want a cheeseburger, I am not only going to eat that cheeseburger, but I'm going to enjoy that cheeseburger. — Heidi Klum

Hey, controlling a zombie horde is hard work. I'd punch a nun for a cheeseburger right about now. — Jaye Wells

The Mars Polar Lander cost the average American the price of half a cheeseburger. A human lander would cost the average American more
perhaps even ten cheeseburgers! So be it. That is no great sacrifice. — Jonah Goldberg

I eat a cheeseburger with French fries almost every day. — Cameron Diaz

Me and my cheeseburgers are insane. — Naya Rivera

Oh God, for a few who will love me in tiny ways every single day of my flashing existence. For a mere one or two who will treat me like the trash I am, who will love the smell of garbage and rummage through the bin of my failings to find the wrapped cheeseburger they can do without but consider long enough to get their taste buds used to the idea.
Oh for a melodious tongue to sing me a song about french fries. — Chila Woychik

Will I switch to E-reading? I won't, mainly because I love the look and feel of books - particularly hardbacks. I love them enough to put up with the minor hassles of lugging them around and maneuvering them in my lap and having to set them aside while I eat my cheeseburger. — Mary Roach

No man wants to fuck a skeleton - and nibbling crackers and water like a prisoner of war at dinner isn't attractive. It just makes us think about what a cranky bitch you're going to be later on because you're starving. If a guy's into you? A cheeseburger deluxe is not going to scare him away. And if he's not? Ingesting all the greens on Peter Cottontail's farm isn't going to change that, trust me. — Emma Chase

Somewhere, my thirst for distraction from the pains and poverties of life grew into a sweltering, parching thing. There are always feelings to be numbed, anxieties to tamp down, and panic attacks to avoid. The people of the Shire knew this, and so do I. I suppose I could have turned to things eternal - didn't Jesus promise us rest? - but we seem to have a way of losing ourselves in our manmade salves - the bottle, the pill, the cheeseburger, self-inflicted starvation. I suppose we're all drunk on something. — Seth Haines

My favorite meal to make for myself is meatloaf.I prepare the the ground beef (I don't use anything else) and flatten it out so it's about 1/2 inch thick, then I spread shredded cheddar all over it, then I roll it up. It's amazing. Like a big cheeseburger. — Tim Gunn

Somebody get me a cheeseburger! — Steve Miller Band

I would kill for a cheeseburger. Honestly. If I stumbled across someone eating a cheeseburger, I would kill them for it. — Rick Yancey

I can't be on the cheeseburger diet all the time. — Bobby Flay

Newspapers are a bad habit, the reading equivalent of junk food. What happens to me is that I seize upon an issue in the news - the issue is the moral/philosophical, political/intellectual equivalent of a cheeseburger with everything on it; but for the duration of my interest in it, all my other interests are consumed by it, and whatever appetites and capacities I may have had for detachment and reflection are suddenly subordinate to this cheeseburger in my life! I offer this as self-criticism; but what it means to be "political" is that you welcome these obsessions with cheeseburgers - at great cost to the rest of your life. — John Irving

I'm a Midwesterner! Not being able to have a cheeseburger once in a while would be torture! — Jessica Capshaw

Before you open the lunch menu or order that cheeseburger or consider eating the cake with the frosting intact, haul out the psychic calculator and start tinkering with the budget. — Caroline Knapp

I ordered a cheeseburger and a beer from a waitress who looked as though she wanted to be in one of those want-to-get-away? commercials. She called me hon. I love when a waitress calls me hon. — Harlan Coben

I'm all about fashion, cheeseburgers and bright-red lipstick. — Scarlett Johansson

I didn't feel the need to rub it in to every cheeseburger I conquered. — Stephenie Meyer

Cold liquid splashing across his face brought Kevin Temple back to himself. He'd been on the road all night, a dedicated run from Indiana hauling a load of fresh vegetables. Fifteen minutes out of the depot in Cleveland, and he had that stale feel, too much coffee washing down too much beef jerky. What he'd really been craving was a double cheeseburger, but while it would surprise no one to see a trucker gone flabby around — Marcus Sakey

I'm a McDonald's girl - several times a week. Usually the two-cheeseburger combo meal. — Nikki Cox

Don't tell thin women to eat a cheeseburger. Don't tell fat women to put down the fork. Don't tell underweight men to bulk up. Don't tell women with facial hair to wax, don't tell uncircumcised men they're gross, don't tell muscular women to go easy on the dead-lift, don't tell dark-skinned women to bleach their vagina, don't tell black women to relax their hair, don't tell flat-chested women to get breast implants, don't tell "apple-shaped" women what's "flattering," don't tell mothers to hide their stretch marks, and don't tell people whose toes you don't approve of not to wear flip-flops. And so on, etc, etc, in every iteration until the mountains crumble to the sea. Basically, just go ahead and CEASE telling other human beings what they "should" and "shouldn't" do with their bodies unless a) you are their doctor, or b) SOMEBODY GODDAMN ASKED YOU. — Lindy West

Brooke stared in surprise. "You brought me lunch?"
"I was in the neighborhood."
She checked out the label on the bag. "DMK is twenty minutes from here."
"I was in that neighborhood, and now I'm here," he said in exasperation. "Seriously, woman, you are impossible to feed." He strode over and set the bag on her desk. "One cheeseburger with spicy chipotle ketchup and a side of sweet potato fries - chosen specifically for a certain spicy and sweet girl I know - and a green dill pickle for your eyes. So there." He crossed his arms over his chest.
Brooke studied him. "You seem very ornery right now."
"As a matter of fact, I am."
"Why?"
"I don't know," he huffed. "Just ... eat your Brooke Burger. Stop asking so many questions. Sometimes a guy just wants to buy a girl lunch. Any objections to that? Good. Enjoy your Sunday, Ms. Parker."
He strode out of her office, gone as quickly as he'd appeared.
Brooke stared at the doorway and blinked. — Julie James

I used to sit in front of McDonald's and ask people for dollars to get me a cheeseburger. It was bad. — T-Pain

Are we going to be a services power? The double-cheeseburger-hold-the-mayo kings of the world? — Lee Iacocca

As guilty and fun as it is to go through a drive-thru and get a cheeseburger or whatever, I just feel like you can make your own burger at home. You know what's going into it. You know where it came from. And it's just easy to go back and forth to those drive-thrus. Just kick that habit! — Julianne Hough

Cheeseburger in paradise! — Jimmy Buffett

Shane Warne's idea of a balanced diet is a cheeseburger in each hand — Ian Healy

Thank God for little brothers, especially those who can talk around a mouthful of cheeseburger. — J. Sterling

And as they drifter up their minds sang with the ecstatic knowledge that either what they were doing was completely and utterly and totally impossible or that physics had a lot of catching up to do.
Physics shook its head and, looking the other way, concentrated on keeping the cards going along the Euston Road and out over towards the Westway flyover, on keeping the street lights lit and on making sure that when somebody on Baker Street dropped a cheeseburger it went splat on the ground. — Douglas Adams

I said before that McDonald's serves a kind of comfort food, but after a few bites I'm more inclined to think they're selling something more schematic than that
something more like a signifier of comfort food. So you eat more and eat more quickly, hoping somehow to catch up to the original idea of a cheeseburger or French fry as it retreats over the horizon. And so it goes, bite after bite, until you feel not satisfied exactly, but simply, regrettably, full. — Michael Pollan

I went on a Hot Pocket diet where I ate two Hot Pockets every four hours. I only had the pepperoni pizza flavour. I didn't go anywhere near the cheeseburger macaroni. — Jason Segel

Presenting a rational argument to a person who has forsaken the use of reason is like asking a vegetarian to eat a cheeseburger. — Michel Templet

A Christian without the Holy Spirit is like a cheeseburger without the cheese. It's not what it claims to be. — Jarrid Wilson

There once was a woman named Story Easton who couldn't decide if she should kill herself, or eat a double cheeseburger. — Elizabeth Leiknes

A cheeseburger a day keeps the feelings away. — Jim Gaffigan

Riley and the cheeseburger of pain — Stephenie Meyer

When I'm on a strict eating regimen, at some point I have to have French fries, a cheeseburger and some pizza. And Oreos and vanilla ice cream! — Ciara

I could still eat a cheeseburger if I wanted to. I just can't have them every day. — Drew Carey

He's getting dumped. And he doesn't even know it yet. He's probably eating a cheeseburger or flossing or picking up his dry cleaning, and he has no idea. No inkling. — Sarah Dessen

I'm going to grab a cheeseburger," I told Patch. "Want anything?"
"Nothing on the menu."
I smiled. "Why, Patch, are you flirting with me? — Becca Fitzpatrick

I want a cheeseburger so badly, but I have to be a vampire in a few weeks. — Kristen Stewart

Turning to the stove, he picked up the pan of veggie sauce and dumped it over a bowl of whole-grain pasta. He sprinkled shredded soy cheese over the top. "Eat something before you go - this'll give you sustained energy."
"No, thanks," I said. "I've lost my appetite."
A wry grin crossed his lips. "Like hell you have. Ten minutes after you leave, you're heading to the drive-through window of the nearest Whataburger."
"You think I'd cheat on you?" I demanded with all the innocent outrage I could muster.
"With another guy, no. With a cheeseburger ... in a heartbeat."
-Dane & Ella — Lisa Kleypas

I'd love to see a cheeseburger right about now, though. — James Dashner

You don't have to eat a whole cheeseburger, just take a piece of the cheeseburger. — Guy Fieri

Man who invented the hamburger was smart; man who invented the cheeseburger was a genius. — Matthew McConaughey

I would fly to Los Angeles just for a cheeseburger with pickles and extra tomatoes from In-N-Out. — Zoe Kravitz

In one case, a group of innocent American tourists was taken on a tour bus through a country the members later described as "either France or Sweden" and subjected to three days of looking at old, dirty buildings in cities where it was not possible to get a cheeseburger. — Dave Barry

In restaurants where they serve frog's legs, what do they do with the rest of the frog? Do they just throw it away? You never see "frog torsos" on the menu. Is there actually a garbage can full of frog bodies in the alley? I wouldn't want to be a homeless guy looking for an unfinished cheeseburger and open the lid on that — George Carlin

In a burst of hideous insight, DeDe realized the depth of her commitment to this marriage. She had just traded adultery for a cheeseburger and an order of french fries. — Armistead Maupin

You could be a member of a special, macho, elite force, protecting mankind from insidios evil in all forms, including the triple-decker bacon cheeseburger."
"I can saftly say I've never battled a cheeseburger. — Kerrelyn Sparks

As soon as I came to L.A., I was told that I was exotic. I'd think, But I'm from Miami! I'm as American as a cheeseburger! — Genesis Rodriguez

You think I'd cheat on you?" I demanded with all the innocent outrage I could muster.
"With another guy, no. With a cheeseburger ... in a heartbeat. — Lisa Kleypas

I'm having a cheeseburger," Anna said. "With fries smothered in vinegar and salt."
"I told you I wouldn't kiss you again. You don't have to poison your mouth."
"Very funny. What are you having?"
"Something with onions and garlic. — Shannon Stacey

If steak is the tuxedo of meat, and bacon is the candy of meat, then a good cheeseburger is the mother's hug of meat. — Jim Gaffigan

Why do we get so angry at ourselves when we eat foods we love? Do you think guys walk around going, 'I just ate a cheeseburger and I'm so mad at myself?' — Martina Mcbride

Perhaps one feels more pain when parents are there. It's like when you're hungry, you know, it's worse to get a symbol of a cheeseburger than no cheeseburger at all. It doesn't do you any good, you know. — Yoko Ono

The first American word that I learned was cheeseburger. And the first sentence I learned was, "I'm sorry but we don't serve breakfast after 12 o'clock." — Callan McAuliffe

There's a cough behind me, and I find Cheeseburger staring anxiously at my box. I glare at Amanda, the Arm-Toucher, and pull out an entire sleeve of Thin Mints. "Here you go, Cheeseburger."
He looks at me in surprise, but then again, that's how he always looks. "Wow. Thanks Anna." Cheeseburger takes the cookies and lumbers toward the stairwell.
Josh is horrified. "Whyareyougivingawaythecookies? — Stephanie Perkins

We used to fuck with our Catholic roommate during Lent, trying to determine exactly how specific God's opinion was about that one. What if you ate something that you didn't know contained meat? What if you were driving east at 11:30pm and unknowingly crossed into a new time zone right before biting into a cheeseburger? During an airline flight, did God go by departure time, arrival time, or local time when determining the Hell- or Heavenbound nature of your meals? "What if you're a butcher," I remember saying, "and you're slicing up a side of beef on Friday when a stray bit of flesh becomes airborne and lodges itself in your throat. You begin to choke. You can't cough it up, but you could swallow it and save your life. What then, when your life is at stake?" Ridiculous? Sacrilegious? — Johnny B. Truant

Racing takes so much determination, guts, and sacrifice to be on top. I once craved, lived, and breathed racing. I can honestly say now, I'm ready to slow down and enjoy my life. Maybe I'll cut loose and have a cheeseburger or some pizza. Those types of indulgencies are not allowed when you constantly have to monitor your weight. — Chantal Sutherland

Yes, a cheeseburger and fries is probably my favourite meal. But I don't eat ground beef anymore. — Eric Schlosser

Judging from the state of my consciousness at the time, millions of years of hominid evolution had produced nothing more transcendent than a craving for a cheeseburger and a chocolate milkshake. — Sam Harris

I'm drunk. Everything is comfortable. Except I wish I had a cheeseburger. I would eat it and use it as a pillow. Or maybe use it as a pillow and then eat it. — Karina Halle

I can completely lose myself into just absolutely satisfying things - a really amazing cheeseburger, a pizza, good fries, a beer. I enjoy being comfortable and eating whatever the hell I like. It's a big thing for me, just having the freedom to be able to do that. — Channing Tatum

'Educational' refers to the process, not the object. Although, come to think of it, some of my teachers could easily have been replaced by a cheeseburger. — Terry Pratchett

Damn if that man didn't look as good as a double bacon cheeseburger, after a week spent camping with my vegan friends. Fuck my life. — Madeline Sheehan

We did not go about this bride thing right. I do not think women are still used to being stolen as they once were."
"Some adjustment is to be expected."
"It is more than that. She keeps asking for things that I do not have - her Earth clothes and something called a cheeseburger, which I recall from the mini shows as being a giant food that women enjoy eating half naked very slowly." Kyran thought of Eve's beautiful legs. He would very much enjoy getting her a cheeseburger — Michelle M. Pillow

Myrnin:I could murder a cheeseburger right now
Oliver:focus ya fool — Rachel Caine

Wouldn't it be cool to be single in a bygone area? I take a girl to a drive-in movie, we go have a cheeseburger and a malt at the diner, and then we make out under the stars in my old-timey convertible. Granted, this might have been tough in the fifties given my brown skin tone and racial tensions at the time, but in my fantasy, racial harmony is also part of the deal. — Aziz Ansari

Your dollar cheeseburger isn't a dollar if you factor in what it's going to cost in health care. — Michael Specter

When I'm not working I'm a slug - a full slug. I am not good at the in-between. I'm either fever-pitched or want to just pass out on a beach with a really sleazy book and eat a cheeseburger. — Michael Kors

So where did these cravings come from? I concluded it's the baby ordering in. Prenatal takeout. Even without ever being in a restaurant, fetuses develop remarkably discerning palates, and they are not shy about demanding what they want. If they get a hankering, they just pick up the umbilical cord and call. 'You know what would taste good right now? A cheeseburger, large fries, and a vanilla shake. And if you could, hurry it up, because I'm supposed to grow a lung in a half hour.' — Paul Reiser

I'm not proud of the lies I tell my children. Some are truly selfish and for the wrong reason. "Honey, you wouldn't want a bite of Daddy's cheeseburger. It's spicy." I don't feel guilty when I deny eating my kids' after-school snacks. I feel guilty telling them that their mom did. Of course, no parent sets out to lie to his or her children. I never did. Then again, I never thought I would let my three-year-old watch TV or chew tobacco. — Jim Gaffigan

Hollywood, to hear some writers tell it, is the place where they take an author's steak tartare and make cheeseburger out of it. Upon seeing the film, they say, the author promptly cuts his throat, bleeding to death in a pool of money. — Fletcher Knebel

This burger is so good, it's stupid," I burst out. "I thought California was supposed to be full of vegans sprinkling sprouts on everything."
"That's at the restaurant across the street. You detox there, you come here when you want real food."
"I love you," I said, stroking my burger like a kitten.
"Me or the cheeseburger?"
"I can no longer separate the two. — Alice Clayton

What would you rather have?"
"Cheeseburger and a small fry. Coke classic. Better yet, dope classic."
"Sure. I'll take a milkshake. What's the special flavor this week, chocolate Jack Daniels?"
"Strawberry scotch."
"Stick one of those paper umbrellas in mine."
"Shove a syringe in mine. And a plastic tombstone. RIP, baby. He was born a rock star. He died a junkie."
"Rock in peace."
[...]
"He wanted the world and lost his soul. [...] Sold it all for rock and roll. Lost his heart in a needle. Found his life in the grave. The road to hell is paved in marijuana leaves. Now he rocks in peace. — L.F. Blake

He wasn't steaming anymore, but the incident on the ice bridge had really freaked Jason out. Leo hadn't seemed to realize that he had smoke coming out his ears and flames dancing through his hair. If Leo started spontaneously combusting every time he got excited, they were going to have a tough time taking him anywhere. Jason imagined trying to get food at a restaurant. I'll have a cheeseburger and - Ahhh! My friend's on fire! Get me a bucket! — Rick Riordan

And I wasn't convinced that it was a good idea, sort of like asking for advice on how to catch a baseball in your teeth or pick all the cheese off your cheeseburger. — Raymond Chen