Quotes & Sayings About Blokes

Most people aren't happy. They sing songs like they are. Make up cute little stories. Post pics of the rare times when life wasn't dreadful. Most people are stomaching this whole affair called life. Are these people complainers? Probably. Most are. But they're also just blokes who're too afraid to take a risk. So they live lives in a redundant cycle of complacent apathy. Then these people wallow around day after day in their unhappiness. The more you do that, the more you lose sight of the chances you could take to make things better. — Sarah Noffke

I went into a shop and I said, "Can someone sell me a kettle." The bloke said "Kenwood" I said, "Where is he?" — Tim Vine

It seems like the older bands are bigger than ever. We get a mixed crowd where you have kids and old blokes like me. — Geezer Butler

Who 'waits for inspiration' has probably never explored the brain. Its much larger than the entire internet. Writing, however, is partly stalking the big wave, and ride it when it comes. However, the thousands and thousands of blokes sitting at the shoreline trying to create waves by splashing their hands in the surf - it might be what they teach at writer workshops, but the sight is absolutely ghastly. — Martijn Benders

I love watching 'UFC' - Ultimate Fighting Championship - I don't know why, because I'm more of a coward than a fighter, but I seem to be very drawn to these blokes actually smashing each other to bits. — Marc Warren

What do blokes do to prepare for weddings? I rack my brain, thinking about grooms in commercials. Tuxedos are out. I could get her a garter ...
Wait. Rings! Brilliant. And, where will we go afterward? We'll need a honeymoon suite somewhere. Look at me, already a pro at this husband business. — Wendy Higgins

Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!! — Bill Bailey

You never want an Australian with his back against the wall. You put any 12 blokes together and you'll get a job done. Whether it's getting a bogged four-wheel-drive off the beach or standing in front of a cricket wicket and making sure we're in a dominant position. It's the same dog, different leg action, so to speak. — Matthew Hayden

The first thing is to be patient, which is probably the hardest thing to do. Don't worry if blokes are whacking you out of the park because you still have the opportunity to get him out next ball, even if it's not the same ball. — Shane Warne

I still get blokes who say, 'Oh you hate men, don't you?' And I say, 'No, I just hate you.' I really love doing that, just to see the look on their faces. — Jo Brand

Blokes are different from girls," Sam informed her - still scowling. "We don't need to talk about every little thing. You don't hear me whining when I break a nail."
Finley's own brows pulled together. "Do you ever think before you open your mouth?"
"Did I offend your delicate sensibilities?" Sam asked sweetly. — Kady Cross

Delivering the State of the Union? That bloke couldn't deliver pizza. — Clive James

He didn't look anything like the blokes on that gay porn channel Rory had clicked on by mistake when he'd been trying to find out how to make a daisy chain for Leo. — J.L. Merrow

It's incredible, really, the amount of pain cricketers are prepared to put themselves through. Say you're an opening batsman who gets out for a duck in the first over on day one. What compels you to hang around for the rest of the day, let alone turn up the following Saturday for day two? Yet you do, lest 10 blokes who you don't even like think slightly less of you. You retain a sense of loyalty to the club, to your teammates, even though those same teammates will not hesitate to rate your girlfriend a 'six out of 10' in front of your face. During the time I've spent watching my teammates bat after getting out cheaply, I could have learned a language by now. I could be speaking Mandarin. Instead, all I've got to show for it is a career average of 13.6 and a 10 percent discount at our local pub. — Sam Perry

I'm not saying Christopher Pyne and all them are my enemies, they're great blokes, shouted me a few beers a couple of times which I like, it's - we have got to sit down with the people like that. We have got to sit down with people like that and negotiate and work our way through. If we don't do that then we're just going to continue the sins of the past. — Yitzhak Rabin

I bet when Winston Churchill was writing his memoirs he didn't keep getting interrupted by two blokes bawling that the ties they took off the night before had mysteriously disappeared, and demanding I find them, seeing as I was the one last seen tied up with them. — Gillibran Brown

I'd saw there were millions like me, but there aren't, really: lots of blokes have impeccable music taste but don't read, lots of blokes read but are really fat, lots of blokes are sympathetic to feminism but have stupid beards, lots of blokes have a Woody Allen sense of humor but look like Woody Allen. — Nick Hornby

All the real blokes I know are obsessed with cars and have started doing cycling at the weekend and being really, really boring about it and banging on about their Fitbits and growing stupid beards and talking about being on Tinder. That's what all the 'real men' are like these days! — Jenny Colgan

I'm wary of the word glam because I think that became the all-inclusive term with for any bloke with lipstick on, which is fine, you know, and that's what it is when it comes down to the public level. — David Bowie

This bloke was so pissed, he thought his vomit had come to life! — Russell Howard

Either they fall down, or they make me look like Tintin," Ben complained. "It's all right for Fritz - he's the same shape as those plastic blokes in the window. — Kate Saunders

It was funny - I'd sort of expected this place to be all dark and furtive, full of blokes darting nervous glances over their shoulders in case anyone they knew wandered in by mistake and saw them. Instead, it was all bright, gleaming white, the merchandise proudly displayed like a prozzie in an Amsterdam window. Only a lot less likely to give you the clap. — J.L. Merrow

I'm quite British in the sense of not expressing my emotions much. I save it for my songs. If you ask about a death in the family, or a lover, I will not be emotional. I'd probably answer with a smile. Because that's what we British blokes do. — James Blunt

Other blokes might take advantage, but to Tom, the idea of honor was a kind of antidote to some of the things he'd lived through. — M.L. Stedman

When you go to clubs in London there are loads of good-looking blokes, and I feel like a bit of a minger — Lee Ryan

Basically, a manager is a father figure to 20 or 25 blokes. It's about trying to get the best out of them and creating team spirit. — Alan Shearer

I've never had knickers or marriage proposals. Most of my fans are blokes serving life in jail, troubled kids, and a lot of gay guys. I never get the mid-20s, beautiful women fanbase. — Kelvin Fletcher

Women are odd. I really mean that. A woman doesn't know the effect she has on a man. Any woman affects every man with instant global tonnage every single time. But women all go about teaching each other it isn't true. God knows why. They reach for doubt, where we blokes go for hope. This accounts for much of their behavior. — Jonathan Gash

She made me feel like I was the king of fascinating blokes. — L. H. Cosway

Batman: What do you think Alfred?
Alfred: I think you're a bad driver.
Batman: I've got Lucius looking into another car-
Alfred: Well you're going to need one if you actually want to catch these blokes. Tea's on the table behind you. — Geoff Johns

My Aunt Dahlia, who runs a woman's paper called Milady's Boudoir, had recently backed me into a corner and made me promise to write her a few words for her "Husbands and Brothers" page on "What the Well-Dressed Man is Wearing". I believe in encouraging aunts, when deserving; and, as there are many worse eggs than her knocking about the metrop, I had consented blithely. But I give you my honest word that if I had had the foggiest notion of what I was letting myself in for, not even a nephew's devotion would have kept me from giving her the raspberry. A deuce of a job it had been, taxing the physique to the utmost. I don't wonder now that all these author blokes have bald heads and faces like birds who have suffered. — P.G. Wodehouse

Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability. — Bill Bailey

They sound funny, and he realizes that these guys are not guys nor fellas. They are blokes. Chaps. Mates. They are Brits. — Anonymous

Sad old blokes, I'm told, now dream of me with a whip in hand. — Anne Robinson

I was worried I'd scared you off," I said as I slid into the passenger seat. "Being too gay and all." "No - I, er ... " He hesitated, and I looked at him sharply. Well, slightly less bluntly, anyway. My head still hurt. "I don't have a problem with you being gay, Jude. I'm ... well, I'm into blokes myself." "You are?" I may have squeaked a bit. "But you're so ... " Butch, I should have said. And manly, and muscular, and gorgeous, and I bet you're hairy too in all the right places. What came out was, "Straight. — J.L. Merrow

The people in makeup would buff away the shine on the face of anyone in front of the camera, and the sound blokes would clip a microphone onto the lapel of a jacket so it looked like something other than an insect about to crawl onto the presenter's chin, but Steven Spielberg this group was not. This was a low-budget operation, thank you very much. — Elizabeth George

Maybe if I'd not been able to kick a ball it would have been different, but I doubt it because all my mates are decent blokes now, just normal fellas with families. — Robbie Fowler

She laughed. 'That's what I love about you good-lookin' blokes. What, me? Have sex? — Jess Walter

Basically it's just a whole bunch of blokes standing around scratching themselves — Kathy Lette

Okay, I've only just found out the final lineup for Slytherin," said Angelina, consulting a piece of parchment. "Last year's Beaters, Derrick and Bole, have left now, but it looks as though Montague's replaced them with the usual gorillas, rather than anyone who can fly particularly well. They're two blokes called Crabbe and Goyle. I don't know much about them
"
"We do," said Harry and Ron together.
"Well they don't look bright enough to tell one end of a broom from another," said Angelina, pocketing her parchment, "but then I was always surprised Derrick and Bole managed to find their way onto the pitch without signposts."
"Crabbe and Goyle are in the same mold," Harry assured her. — J.K. Rowling

I love how the men stand around cooking the barbie while the women have done all the work beforehand doing the marinade and making the salads and then everybody says, 'what a great barbie' to the guy cooking. A barbecue is just the ultimate blokes' pastime, isn't it? — Curtis Stone

There's nothing the British like better than a bloke who comes from nowhere, makes it, and then gets clobbered. — Melvyn Bragg

I think it's better if blokes can admit that they can have crushes on other blokes. I've probably had crushes but never really sexual crushes on men. — Graham Coxon

And as an artist, as someone who writes stories and tries to make words into beautiful forms, it's vitally important to me, especially in a culture that's forgotten the value of beauty. It's a primary source or inspiration, I guess, when so much of what goes on around you is only about money and big swinging dick capitalism. It's important for blokes to be able to do beautiful stuff, impractical stuff, that adds to life. That's an early life-lesson from surfing.
— Tim Winton

I looked out at the children in the playground below my window: They were running around yelling in the sunshine, and I reflected on how blokes always get the women they want by chasing them until they give in. I'm always amazed that so many men - usually the ugly ones - are convinced they could pull Claudia Schiffer if they were given the chance, while someone gorgeous ... is always convinced blokes don't fancy her. It rarely happens the other way round. — Harriet Evans

Beer has long been the prime lubricant in our social intercourse and the sacred throat-anointing fluid that accompanies the ritual of mateship. To sink a few cold ones with the blokes is both an escape and a confirmation of belonging. — Rennie Ellis

Good big blokes are better than good little blokes. Then again, good little blokes are better than dud big blokes. And dud big blokes should play something other than Rugby — Bob Dwyer

I don't find offensive that I'm being labelled a babe by blokes. I'm absolutely flattered. — Kirsty Gallacher

He looks at my face and huffs, exasperated. "Baz, you're actually, literally the only thing I have to lose. So as long as doing gay stuff in public doesn't make you hate me, I don't really care."
"We're just dancing," I say. "That's hardly gay stuff."
"Dancing's well gay," he says. "Even when it isn't two blokes. — Rainbow Rowell

People often ask why comedy is harder for women, and the reason is because a tampon will sometimes fall out when you're on stage. Blokes don't have that worry. — Jenny Eclair

The rest of the Spice Girls wanted to invite the entire Bayern Munich team because they reckoned they'd never known blokes to be on top for 90 minutes and still come second. — Gary Neville

Yes, I certainly look for strong characters - whether that means they're strong in their vulnerability or strong in the way they might be attractive to lots of blokes. — Vicky McClure

The Beatles were a phenomenon, but they were also ordinary blokes like anyone else. I was lucky enough to see that side. — James Taylor

I say to the young blokes, when you get asked for an autograph, don't knock it back because there'll be a time where no one will ask you. — Brett Kenny

Carl reckoned that it was none of his affair until his life was on the line. Even if these two blokes shagged each other senseless every chance they got, he didn't see how that really affected him. — Abigail Roux

The problem wiv some blokes is that wen they ain't drunk, they're sober. — William Butler Yeats

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Jew are sitting in a doctor's waiting room and each is told he has twenty-four hours to live. They are asked how they plan to spend their final day. The Englishman says, "I'm going to my club to smoke my pipe, sip some sherry, and chat with the blokes." The Frenchman says, "I'm going to call my mistress for a sumptuous dinner, a bottle of the finest wine, and a night of passionate lovemaking." The Jew says, "I'm going to see another doctor. — Steven Pinker

His two podium candidates looked like two blokes who had just got up from the Christmas buffet. — Bjarne Riis