Blender Quotes & Sayings

I'm trying to photosynthesize like a plant. I'm off eating. Although I am making a lot of banana daiquiries in my room in the blender I've got, with lots of powdered vitamins in them. This tour I'm going to get some Afghani hangings and put them in my room, so that my hotel rooms look like mosques. — Jimmy Page

1. Place all filling ingredients except fish in a blender and puree smooth.
2. Evenly coat the fish filets with achiote mixture; cover and allow to marinate at room temperature for 20 to 30 minutes.
3. (ook fish on a charcoal or gas grill or in the oven broiler for approximately 3 minutes per side, depending on thickness of filets. (We think fish tastes best when cooked medium rare to medium, especially when it is very fresh.)
4. Allow to cool for a few minutes and slice for tacos.
5. Serve in soft corn or flour tortillas.
Serving suggestions: Garnish with a fresh fruit or tomato-habanero salsa — Susan D. Curtis

There is pain in the body or the heart or the soul or the mind or all of the above. Body pain is obvious. Heart pain is the pain that comes from others, when they love you too much or not enough or the wrong way. Soul pain comes from feel your life is one big waste. Mind pain is what I can't figure out. It's like when you throw body, heart, and soul pain into a blender, then you add a cup of disgust at all that you are, at all that you've become, at all that you will ever be. — Francisco X Stork

Mr. Smith yelled at the doctor, What have you done to my boy? He's not flesh and blood, he's aluminum alloy! The doctor said gently, What I'm going to say will sound pretty wild. But you're not the father of this strange looking child. You see, there still is some question about the child's gender, but we think that its father is a microwave blender. — Tim Burton

Getting older is a lot of fun. Right up there with chewing glass or putting your hand in a blender. — Albert Brooks

The key to a good relationship is forgiveness, because without it we're all completely screwed. — Trish Cook, Brendan Halpin

The lawnmower sounded like bottle caps in a blender. — Julie Jaret

It's possible to make one's own grape pest disease culture by looking for sick or dead caterpillars. If sick, they will lose color and move slowly, if at all. At death, they often hang limp and darkened from a leaf by a spot of "glue." Several of these are all you need to treat an acre of vines. Whiz them in a blender with a quart of water, strain, and dilute to spray your vines. Use right away, as this mixture will start to putrefy after just twelve hours. It's a bit grisly, but very cheap and very effective. Just don't forget to clean the blender — Jeff Cox

I'm just a one-instrument player. I have been known to play a blender, but I basically play - just play the violin. — Itzhak Perlman

The alien was an ugly sight, all angles and corners. Like a pentagram might look if it fell into a mathematical blender. No ports, seam lines or anything. Smooth yellow hull. No markings. And it was too close! — Christina Engela

Dear Die-ary, today I stuffed some dolls full of dead rats I put in the blender. I'm wondering if, maybe, there really is something wrong with me. — Jhonen Vasquez

Stealing drugs, selling drugs, buying clothes, renting luxury cars, taking clothes back, ordering blender drinks, this isn't what I'd call Real Life, not by a long shot. — Chuck Palahniuk

I was born in a blender. — Lorna Luft

Prideep pointed to the flames of paraffin lamps as they came alive in the distance and cackled in awe at the experience. ( ... ) I was to discover that making tasty soup with one carrot, ten peas and a little dishwater, was his greatest skill. One wondered what the man would be capable of creating with a blender and a non-stick frying-pan. — Tahir Shah

Politics and friendships are like oil and water, you need a really good blender to make them work. — Kush Desai

Just because you can't physically see the presence of love and goodness doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Everything you need is out there in the universe - but it's up to you to believe in it, to find it, and to let it in. — Trish Cook, Brendan Halpin

I'm a mess right now I can't eat can't sleep
Bills are piling high ain't worked in three weeks
Ain't bathed can't shave cause my heart is so tender like living in a blender
I'm shaken and I'm stirred — Anthony Hamilton

Wine lovers have known for centuries that decanting wine before serving it often improves its flavor. Whatever the dominant process, the traditional decanter is a rather pathetic tool to accomplish it. A few years ago, I found I could get much better results by using an ordinary kitchen blender. — Nathan Myhrvold

When the full-grown poet came,
Out spake pleased Nature (the round impassive globe, with all
its shows of day and night,) saying, He is mine;
But out spake too the Soul of man, proud, jealous and unreconciled,
Nay, he is mine alone;
- Then the full-grown poet stood between the two, and took each by the hand;
And to-day and ever so stands, as blender, uniter, tightly holding hands,
Which he will never release until he reconciles the two,
And wholly and joyously blends them. — Walt Whitman

The time has come to knock off this religion business in American politics. There's no end to the mischief that can occur. It is like putting nitroglycerine in a Waring blender. — Lowell P. Weicker Jr.

Tahini Tahini is a paste made from sesame seeds that is very popular in the Middle East. Most commercial versions use toasted sesame seeds; therefore, it is not considered raw. However, it's easy to make a raw version. Just soak 1 cup of seeds in 2 cups water for 5 hours. Drain the water and place in refrigerator for another 5 hours. Then, place the seeds in a high speed blender and puree until a smooth paste forms. — Abby Richards

It was like some mad scientist threw a bunch of DNA into a blender and this is what came out. What the heck could it be? Was it some kind of alien? A scientific experiment gone horribly wrong? Did we have a Dr. Frankenstein living in Billings? Seriously, the creature looked like a resurrected Wookiee made from spare parts. — Kendra C. Highley

The way I figured, I was just a kid, and if I could take it apart, they surely could put it back together. Then my mom would walk in the kitchen and see me standing on a chair at the counter, holding a screwdriver with disassembled components all over the place. 'What the heck's going on?' 'I'm intrigued how the blender works. — Tim Dorsey

Let's face it, though, anything that's apt to happen to an appliance like a blender isn't covered by the warranty anyway, so I never send them in. If it breaks, I'll buy a new one. That's the American way. — Andy Rooney

As we know all too painfully, life hands you surprises. But you know what I've found out? Not all the surprises life has in store are bad ones. Sometimes you think you have things figured out, and then, zap! Things change. — Trish Cook, Brendan Halpin

The Cremulator" sounds like a cartoon villain or the name of a monster truck but is in fact the name of what is essentially a bone blender, roughly the size of a kitchen crockpot. I — Caitlin Doughty

I don't know how a culture is going to evolve, but I think the way the Internet works now is, people go to the Internet to laugh and have a good time. That's why Tumblr feeds and I Can Has Cheezburger and memes get thrown into the blender with real news and sports news and politics and that stuff. — Drew Magary

Hey, asshole," Lash said to the sw'old-up one, "your boyfriend give you those p-tats? Or was he too busy fucking you in the ass?" The guy's eyes narrowed. "What'd you say to me?" The gangbanger shook his head. "Gotta be out ya damn mind, white boy." Skinhead laughed like a blender, high and fast. Who knew recruiting would be this easy, Lash thought. * — J.R. Ward

Some of these bulls are gonna' spin those cowboys so fast, they'll look like a frog in a blender. — Wayne White

Her body was spattered with tiny bits of the reverend's flesh and blood, like someone had combined shrimp and tomato soup and then forgot to put the lid on the blender. — Chelsea Cain

ORANGE JULIUS 3 cups orange juice 1 envelope dry Dream Whip (the kind that makes 2 cups) 1 package dry vanilla pudding (the kind that makes 2 cups) 3 more cups orange juice Pour the orange juice into a blender. Add the dry Dream Whip and the dry pudding. Blend it for one minute on low and another minute on medium speed. Pour the mixture in a 2-quart pitcher. Add another 3 cups of orange juice and stir well. Serve over ice. Yield: Makes almost 2 quarts. — Joanne Fluke

Plus it'll give you a chance to get us a wedding present. We're not registered anywhere, but we could seriously use some china and a blender. — Richelle Mead

All reality is a blender where hopes and dreams are mixed with fear and despair. — Holly Goldberg Sloan

It was one thing to wake up feeling like I'd just been put through the puree stage of a blender- it was another to wake up feeling like I'd just been put though the puree stage of a blender to county music. — Jus Accardo

Science fiction is like a blender - you can put in any historical experience and take influences from everything you see, read or experience. — Joss Whedon

A police car went by with its siren going, a rotary slurping noise, it sounded like the blender in their kitchen - she made fruit shakes compulsively that they felt morally bound to drink. — Don DeLillo

Waiters are the help, dear. It's like falling in love with a blender! — Daniel Nayeri

Oh shit did you just dis the feminine gender
I'll pummel your ass then stick you in a blender
You think I like Tori and Ani so I can't rhyme
But I got flow like Ghostbusters got slime
Objectify women and it's fuckin' on
You'll be dead and gone like ancient Babylon. — John Green

But the true and natural home of merism is in legal documents. Lawyers are like Cole Porter and Alfred Lord Tennyson with a blender. A lawyer, for a reason or reasons known only to him or herself, cannot see a whole without dividing it into its parts and enumerating them in immense detail. This may be something to do with the billing system. — Mark Forsyth

It made a sound," Carl says. "Can you describe it?" "Ever put a harmonica in a blender?" "No." "Then no, I can't describe it," he says. — Anonymous

On crack. It was as if the town had been placed in a blender with a giant disco ball, shaken with a Mardi Gras parade, and then had vomited a pile of glitter and tinsel all over itself. — Gina Damico

We're stunned by the diversity of rocks. This stuff looks like it was put into a blender. — Steven Squyres

I want to get a job naming kitchen appliances. That seems easy; refrigerator, toaster, blender. You just say what the thing does and add "er". — Mitch Hedberg

She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair. — Red Skelton

They're telling you to blend in,
like you've never seen how a blender works,
like they think you've never seen the mess from the blade. — Andrea Gibson

I'm not really caught up with celebrity women. I think a regular girl that goes to school or works at a Complex or Spin or Blender or whatever, one of those magazines. She'd probably be flyer to me than the person she's writing about. — Wale

Their lead guitar sounded like what would happen if someone wedged a traffic accident into a blender. — Brenna Yovanoff

Even though I have fond feelings for comedy clubs, I enjoy the focus you get in a theater. Comedy clubs are a different animal. People are being served nachos and there's a blender going off in the background. — Brian Regan

without forgiveness, we'd all be walking this Earth angry and alone, and I think that would really suck. — Trish Cook, Brendan Halpin

When I was your age, I knew nothing. Nothing about myself, nothing about the universe or about heartbreak. I remember being terrified to grow up, afraid of losing my friends, sure I'd lose my mind. Life felt like a blender that wanted to eat me. — Emily Henry

You know,' I called, 'you're the one that's going to have to explain to Max how you got your blender back.'
I'll tell him I astral-projected. Butt-head. — Scott Westerfeld

A Quarkbeast is a small hyena-shaped creature that is covered in leathery scales and often described as: 'One tenth Labrador, six-tenths velociraptor and three-tenths kitchen food blender. — Jasper Fforde

Looking to any angry, anxious, or otherwise stressed emotional state to help you sort out the pain you're in is like trying to organize your monthly bills by throwing them into a blender — Guy Finley

The word just hangs, until Severin starts the blender and there's only the sound of crunching and grinding vitamins, the silvery core of nourishment, containing every essential thing but the nourishment itself. (pg. 82) — Deb Caletti

My mind is a blender, coherent thoughts are chopped and killed. — Christina Lauren

I use quite a bit in my kitchen, but the one thing that's an absolute must would have to be my high-speed blender. — Margaret Chapman

All reality, I decide, is a blender where hopes and dreams are mixed with fear and despair. Only — Holly Goldberg Sloan

Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity. If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick — Steven Wright

My parents didn't like me. For bathtub toys they gave me a blender and a transistor radio. — Rodney Dangerfield

Don't you think it's a little sick the way that most of the culture denies death? It's there all the time, and most people act like it's not going to happen to them. — Trish Cook, Brendan Halpin

You become about as exciting as your food blender. The kids come in, look you in the eye, and ask if anybody's home. — Erma Bombeck

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. — Jerry Seinfeld

But what kind of person makes tea in a blender? — Randall Munroe

I hated the term "heartbroken." It was such an understatement. "Broken" typically implied you were talking about something you could put back together. Or replace. My heart didn't feel like it was broken. It felt like it had been tossed into the blender and liquidized at 180 MPH. — Rachel K. Burke

You will find glimpses of my friends, my family, and strangers off the street in everything I write, because I steal from life and then put it in a blender. — Catherine Cruzan

I love to make pies - pot pies, quiches, savory tarts, fruit pies. I use an old-fashioned pastry blender with wires and a wooden handle. I never use a recipe. — Ruth Reichl

Have you ever wanted to put your head in a blender and turn on the liquefy switch? (Tate) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Oster blender. I poured that concoction into a griddle of sizzling butter, then sprinkled diced strawberries on the wet side. Three — Walter Mosley

Trying to figure some people out would be like trying to put an elephant in a blender. — Adam LiVecchi

If you threw Elvis and a scarecrow in a blender, topped the whole thing off with Seagram's 7 and pressed dice, you would make my dad. He's got tar black hair and shoulder blades that cut through his undershirt like clipped wings. He looks like a gray-skinned, skinny-rat cowboy and I would be lying if I didn't say that I am, maybe sorta kinda, keep it secret, in love with him.
And you would be, too, you would, if you met him before drink number five or six. Just meet him then. Get lost before things get ugly. — Andrea Portes

I've got to get my body back. While I like wearing you, I'd rather wear you as a blanket on top of me and not the skin I'm walking around in. It has this whole Hannibal Lecter aspect that's really creeping me out."Jo
"Hannibal Lecter?" Cadegan
"It's a TV show and book character. Not really important. Like a wombat in a blender." Jo
"I'm not sure what this blender is, but I think I should be feeling bad for that poor wombat." Cadegan — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Life is too short to spend forty to fifty hours around people who do nothing but stress you out and make you desire to go stick your head in a blender. — Perry Noble

The only time I ever saw him untidy was after a fight. What a sight that was. James Bond run through a blender. You know the other fella probably got off worse. — Esi Edugyan

Shame on you, Crispin. Married how long, and you haven't spanked your wife with a metal spatula yet?"
I'd gotten used to Ian's assumption that everyone was as perverted as he was, so I didn't miss a beat.
"We prefer blender beaters for our kitchen utensil kink," I said with a straight face.
Bones hid his smile behind his hand, but Ian looked intrigued.
"I haven't tried that ... oh, you're lying, aren't you?"
"Ya think?" I asked with a snort.
Ian gave a sigh of exaggerated patience and glanced at Bones.
"Being related to her through you is a real trial. — Jeaniene Frost

Backs. Followed by the traditional Burning of the Gifts. Everyone would gather to watch the toaster and blender explode. Followed by the sacrificial drowning of a bridesmaid, the one who'd caught the fucking bouquet? — Laura Kasischke

Collectivists see the world the way Mr. Magoo did - as one big blur. They homogenize people in a communal blender, sacrificing the discrete features that make us who we are. — Lawrence W. Reed

There was an avocado green slow cooker, a venerable coffeemaker, two coffee grinders, and a blender. These were the tools of the modern witch, though Sarah kept a big black cauldron by the fireplace for old times' sake. — Deborah Harkness

Quarkbeasts, for all their fearsome looks, are obedient to a fault. They are nine-tenths velociraptor and kitchen blender and one-tenth Labrador. It was the Labrador tenth that I valued most. — Jasper Fforde

I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went "Aaaaahhhh ... " — Steven Wright

Black Bean Soup Makes 4 Servings. Ingredients 2 15 oz. cans of black beans, undrained 1 16 oz. can of vegetable broth ½ cup of hot salsa 2 tbsp chili powder 1 tbsp grated Parmesan cheese ¼ cup of sour cream Directions Add 1 can of the beans to a blender and blitz until smooth. Place a pot over a medium heat and add the smooth beans, the whole beans, the broth, the salsa and the chili powder. Bring everything to the boil, stirring occasionally. Cover and let simmer for 5 minutes. Stir in the sour cream and garnish with — Sarah Sophia

Mind you, if we we're talking about regeneration, we could go a step further and take a leaf out of the sponge book. There are sponges you can chop to pieces, whiz up in the blender, and then press through a sieve, but they'll still regenerate."
"Useful, maybe," I replied, "but I think there is a limit to the amount of fun you could have as a sponge. — Jasper Fforde

Okey dokey, fire up the blender, let's make a furry-flurry smoothie out of that squirrel! — Christopher Moore

Hi, Max," she said, pushing her shades up onto her curls.
"I hope your wearing sunscreen," i said, "your gonna have hella wrinkles by the time your ten."
"Want some daiquiri?" she offered, pointing at a blender.
"Is it traitor flavored?" I asked. — James Patterson

Love isn't a part-time thing, where you get to be around for the easy stuff, the fun stuff, and then completely bail on the hard stuff. Love isn't cheating and hoping you won't get caught. — Trish Cook, Brendan Halpin

A food processor, or even one of those small bowls that fit on a stick blender, is a real treasure. No, that's not an overstatement. — Yotam Ottolenghi

Having a 2 year old is like having a blender that you don't have the top for. — Jerry Seinfeld

He's the kind of guy who might not have an expiration date. Who I could fall for so completely that I might as well put my heart in a blender right now because it would hurt less. Who I could want with the kind of passion that makes you forget important things like the promises you make to yourself. — Rachael Allen

last year he managed to disguise himself as an industrial food blender to avoid detection during a recent raid. — Ari Bach

Have that spatula ready when I return," Ian sang out to her.
"I don't even want to know what that means," were my first words when he climbed into the RV.
"You don't? Shame on you, Crispin. Married how long, and you haven't spanked your wife with a metal spatula yet?
"We prefer blender beaters for our kitchen utensil kink," I said with a straight face.
Bones hid his smile behind his hand, but Ian looked intrigued.
"I haven't tried that.....oh, you're lying, aren't you?"
"Ya think?" I asked with a snort. — Jeaniene Frost

Being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep ... in a giant blender. — Homer

The one general theme I took away from that first week with my new friends, was that everyone had their issues. Life in its simplest form is an attempt to deal with and avoid potential impediments. Some families take dysfunction to lofty heights while other break apart like Oreos mixed in a blender. — Phil Wohl

I should have known better than to save a few bucks and buy a haunted appliance. But I really hadn't seen what the problem was, and hey, it was only five dollars. You can't turn down that kind of a deal. Of course, if I had known that the blender was such a needy, insistent bastard, I'd have spent the cash to get a ghost-free one. — Anonymous