Bill Quotes & Sayings

If the mattress stains were anything to go by, a previous user had not so much suffered from incontinence as rejoiced in it. — Bill Bryson

I wanted to quit and to do this forever, sleep in a bed and in a tent, see what was over the next hill and never see a hill again. All of this all at once, every moment, on the trail or off. — Bill Bryson

Packed with fascinating personal perspective and testimony, Michael Takiffs A Complicated Man wholly justifies its title. The book is far more than a kaleidoscopic oral biography of President Bill Clinton. Aspect by aspect, it guides us through the struggles of postmodern America, as the most ambitious baby boomer of his generation seeks to modernize the Democratic Party-and, as in a Greek drama, is fated to be destroyed. Veritably, an all-American saga, with a cast of thousands-favorable and unfavorable. — Nigel Hamilton

The Cuban Liberty and Democratic Solidarity or Libertad Act of 1996, better known as the Helms-Burton Act, was passed by the 104th United States Congress on March 6, 1996 and enacted into law by President Bill Clinton on March 12, 1996. Its intention was to bolster and continue the United States embargo against Cuba. It also opposes Cuban membership in international institutions, and prohibits commercial television broadcasts from the United States to Cuba. Further, the law provides for protection of the property rights of certain United States nationals and the property formerly owned by U.S. citizens but confiscated by Cuba after the Cuban revolution, The Act is named for the original sponsors, Senator Jesse Helms of North Carolina, and Representative Dan Burton of Indiana. — Hank Bracker

If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently. — Bill Watterson

Falling in love is like eating mushrooms, you never know if it's the real thing until it's too late. — Bill Ballance

The most cowardly thing in the world is blaming mistakes upon the umpires. Too many managers strut around on the field trying to manage the umpires instead of their teams. — Bill Klem

Here at work we're all just trying to get a job done. My people have the confidence of their convictions and they know their skills. And that occupies most of my time. — Bill Gates

If we continue to think of ourselves mostly as consumers, it's going to be very hard to bring our environmental troubles under control. But it's also going to be very hard to live the rounded and joyful lives that could be ours. This is a subversive volume in all the best ways! — Bill McKibben

The Highest Reward for men and women 's devotion and dedication to excellence is not what one gets from it but what one he or she becomes through it. — Bill Britt

In no way was I intending to say, nor have I ever thought, that the men and women who defend our nation in uniform are anything but courageous and valiant, and I offer my apologies to anyone who took it wrong. — Bill Maher

On practical level I can't pick up the camera until I think I know what I want. I don't wander around. It's almost impossible for me to pick up a camera ... it's really hard. — Bill Henson

I called my pilot 2 weeks before I flew and asked him, I don't want to get sick, what should I eat? He said, Peanut Butter. I said, If I eat peanut butter then I won't get sick? He said, no, but it tastes the same comin' up as it does goin' down. — Bill Engvall

For those without fire, any fire is strange fire. — Bill Johnson

The mark of community is not the absence of conflict. It's the presence of a reconciling spirit. — Bill Hybels

It's much harder to play beloved than to play a rotten guy. Rotten guy is a piece of cake. So playing a beloved person really sets a high bar for your behavior and your acting and what you project. — Bill Murray

Presidential campaign getting kind of ugly, did you hear about this? Yesterday, a 27-year-old woman came for to deny rumors that she had an affair with Democratic front-runner John Kerry. The woman added, 'I would never cheat on Bill Clinton.' — Conan O'Brien

What assurance do I have that your parenting isn't screwing me up? — Bill Watterson

Tiger Woods apologized to the three women in America he never got around to sleeping with. — Bill Maher

Historically, Alaska is a place that has attracted those fed up with conventionality. — Bill O'Reilly

[F]reedom isn't free. It shouldn't be a bragging point that "Oh, I don't get involved in politics," as if that makes you somehow cleaner. No, that makes you derelict of duty in a republic. Liars and panderers in government would have a much harder time of it if so many people didn't insist on their right to remain ignorant and blindly agreeable. — Bill Maher

Our refusal to fear reminds the devil that he is finished! — Bill Johnson

Reader's Bill of Rights
1. The right to not read
2. The right to skip pages
3. The right to not finish
4. The right to reread
5. The right to read anything
6. The right to escapism
7. The right to read anywhere
8. The right to browse
9. The right to read out loud
10. The right to not defend your tastes — Daniel Pennac

I never go on the net or the web, or whatever it's called. — Bill Nighy

You only have to glance at the daily news to see how passions are stirred by claims of exclusive loyalty to one's own kin, one's own clan, one's own country, and one's own church. These ties that bind are vital to our communities and our lives, but they can also be twisted into a noose. — Bill Moyers

A wonderful bird is the pelican His bill will hold more than his belican. He can take in his beak Food enough for a week, But I'm damned if I see how the helican. — Dixon Lanier Merritt

This is where dad burried the little raccoon.
I don't even know he existed a few days ago and now he's gone forever. It's like I found him for no reason. I had to say good-bye as soon as I said hello.
Still ... in a sad, awful, terrible way, I'm happy I met him.
What a stupid world. — Bill Watterson

Just because we have a thought, doesn't mean it is a thought worth having. — Bill Crawford

AIDS itself is subject to incredible stigma. — Bill Gates

Yes, I do agree we need health care reform; however, this bill badly misses the mark. Congress can and must do better for the American people. — John Mica

Reading all my old love letters was disorienting. You remember thinking the thoughts and writing the words but, man, you can't TOUCH those feelings. Its like they belonged to someone else. Someone you don't even know. I'm aware, in an intellectual way. That I felt all those things about him, but this emotions are far away now.
What's so strange to me is that I can't even force my heart back to that place where I felt that all consuming passion. That makes me feel distant from myself. Who WAS I then? Will I ever be able to get back to that place? Reading the letters again made me wonder: Which is the real me? The one who saw the world in that emotionally saturated way, or the me who sees it the way I do now? — Bill Shapiro

What I have against religion is that they start you when you are so defenseless. I mean, I was three when they started pumping this bullshit into my head. I believed in Santa Claus and the Fairy Godmother, of course I believed in a virgin birth, and a guy lived in a whale, and a woman came from a rib. But then something happened that made me doubt all of it: I graduated sixth grade! — Bill Maher

After two years of hard work and debate, Congress has passed a highway bill that will help fuel our economy by creating roughly 500,000 new jobs, as well as address many critical transportation needs in Ohio and the 18th Congressional District. — Bob Ney

Sam Harris made that great analogy. He said, 'If someone was talking into their hair dryer and claiming that they were speaking to God, they would call Bellevue. But, take away the hair dryer, it's just praying.' — Bill Maher

Repetition is the death of magic. — Bill Watterson

I don't really shout that much. — Bill O'Reilly

There are two ways to look at most problems ... 'Oh Crap!' or, 'Good Information!,' and our choice will give us good information on how to deal with problems in the future. — Bill Crawford

Dogs' bond with humans is bred into their very cells, their genes; it's written through their entire history, a chronicle that can be read in their eyes. But inside this black wire cage, in the lolling eyes of what remained of a Pekingese, there was nothing legible at all. One could hardly grieve for the dog, because the dog was already gone. To euthanize it - which a BAWA vet mercifully did, moments later, with the customary dose of anesthesia - was merely to acknowledge its departure. — Bill Wasik

Quote taken from Chapter 1 of The Corpse Wore Gingham:
"You love to figure out things as much as I do," Piper said.
"Like what?" Bill asked.
"You fix broken stuff," Piper replied.
"Repairing a broken toaster or steam iron is far different than unraveling a murder mystery," Bill said. — Ed Lynskey

A good teacher creates an environment which allows the student to succeed. — Bill Parcells

It might be a good idea if the various countries of the world would occasionally swap history books, just to see what other people are doing with the same set of facts. — Bill Vaughan

A mathematician says that an electromagnetic wave travels from Andromeda to your eye and that it also extends from Andromeda to your eye. — Bill Gaede

Too many people are waiting for Jesus to come along and cut your grass. And Jesus isn't going to come along and cut your grass. — Bill Cosby

Fracking is doable if there's full disclosure of all chemicals used. Secondly, science dictates the policy rather than politics. Third, there's collaboration between environmental groups and the natural gas industry. — Bill Richardson

I didn't know that people compared Bill Hicks and I but certainly I'm flattered if they do. I knew Bill a bit. We had dinner a couple of times and played guitar together once. I really tried to keep my distance from him professionally. — Marc Maron

Them up when the other team had a runner on third. By the time the Yankees came to town - this was going on to the end of April - the whole stadium would flush orange when the Bombers had a runner on third, which they did often in that series. Because the Yankees kicked the living shit out of us and took over first place. It was no fault of the kid's; he hit in every game and tagged out Bill Skowron between home and third when the lug got caught in a rundown. — Stephen King

Working on the Dave Chappelle show was amazing. — Bill Burr

Security guys break the Mac every single day. Every single day, they come out with a total exploit; your machine can be taken over totally. — Bill Gates

Georg always looks beautiful! He wakes up like beauty himself — Bill Kaulitz

I read the book [My Life by Bill Clinton] completely. And I think it compares very favorably with Ulysses S. Grant's gold standard of presidential autobiographies. — Dan Rather

A man on his owns knows that he is best advised to leave his dumbbell neighbors alone. But let him join a political party, and he fantasizes that he has the right and the power to tell everyone on the block what to do. — Bill Bonner

All the things I want to say, Seem to only come when I'm away. All — Bill Malone

I remember seeing 'Spinal Tap' at a young age and being like, 'That's how you perform comedy.' — Bill Hader

I've lived in New York long enough to understand why some people hate it here: the crowds, the noise, the traffic, the expense, the rents; the messed-up sidewalks and pothole-pocked streets; the weather that brings hurricanes named after girls that break your heart and take away everything.
It requires a certain kind of unconditional love to love living here. But New York repays you in time in memorable encounters, at the very least. Just remember: ask first, don't grab, be fair, say please and thank you- even if you don't get something back right away. You will. — Bill Hayes

To paraphrase Antonio Gramsci, cynicism of intellect; promise of the present. — Bill Grigsby

Besides the healthcare bill being unconstitutional and a great expansion of federal government, I think if it does not respect people's individual religious views and makes groups or individuals do things that are contrary to their deeply held beliefs, there is going to be a visceral negative reaction. — Bob McDonnell

There is no such thing as death; life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. — Bill Hicks

Software is a great combination between artistry and engineering. — Bill Gates

There is no such thing, incidentally, as one kudo. — Bill Bryson

Bill Clinton has done more to help the middle class than any leader in decades. — Mario Cuomo

You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really un-evolved? — Bill Hicks

This wasn't the first time I'd been fooled by a woman. Probably wouldn't be the last. — Bill H. Myers

The only path to the final defeat of imperialism and the building of socialism is revolutionary war. — Bill Ayers

I'VE NEVER BEEN VERY SURE ABOUT WHAT IS RIGHT, said Bill Door. I AM NOT SURE THERE IS SUCH A THING AS RIGHT. OR WRONG. JUST PLACES TO STAND. — Terry Pratchett

there. I had thought we would have — Bill Bryson

If you think of global public goods like polio eradication, the kind of risk-taking new approach, philanthropy really does have a role to play there, because government doesn't do R&D about new things naturally as much as it probably should, and so philanthropy's there. — Bill Gates

The most brutal form of domestic violence is the violence against unborn children, and this particular bill would prohibit abortions after the fetus feels pain, which is 20 weeks and older. — Joseph Fischer

Attorney General John Ashcroft is in intensive care. He's suffering from a severe case of pancreatitis, which they can't really figure out because he's not really a drinker. They think he might have picked up some type of infection while wiping his ass with the Bill of Rights. — Bill Maher

If you live cautiously, your friends will call you wise. You just won't move many mountains — Bill Johnson

It is easy to talk about tax simplification, and we all know it is very difficult to accomplish; but for the last three Congresses, I have offered a tax simplification bill that would include a paid-for repeal of alternative minimum tax. — Richard Neal

Just as I do, Bill was always telling pupils to relax their elbows, since the elbow is the most important joint we have in the movement of the golf swing. Bill and I were in total agreement that the attempt to keep a straight left arm means ruination for most golfers. — Harvey Penick

Bill Hewlett and I were brought up in the Depression. We weren't interested in the idea of making any money. Our idea was if you couldn't find a job, you'd make one for yourself. — David Packard

I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.
-Calvin — Bill Watterson

Stephens resumed speaking as the crowd quieted. He referred to one final "improvement" the Confederate Constitution had introduced, a brief but crucial clause that banned forever any "bill of attainder, ex post facto law, or law denying or impairing the right of property in negro slaves." "The new Constitution has put at rest, forever, all the agitating questions relating to our peculiar institutions - African slavery as it exists among us - the proper status of the negro in our form of civilization." This question, Stephens baldly admitted, "was the immediate cause of the late rupture and present revolution."20 Stephens then referenced — Don H. Doyle

I think that the genes for being an artist and mentally ill aren't just related, they are the same gene, but try telling that to a bill collector. We — Neil Hilborn

The clarity of gender makes possible the human dialectic. Let the lines of balanced tension go slack and the structure dissolves into the ooze of androgyny and narcissism. — Bill Vaughan

I have long known that it is part of God's plan for me to spend a little time with each of the most stupid people on earth, and Mary Ellen was proof that even in the Appalachian woods I would not be spared. It became evident that she was a rarity. — Bill Bryson

A key factor is to do training that is fun. — Bill Toomey

Advice to artists: always take the opportunity to shut up. — Bill Jay

I was trained to turn loneliness into laziness. — Bill Callahan

On average the total walking of an American these days
that's walking of all types: from car to office, from office to car, around the supermarket and shopping malls
adds up to 1.4 miles a week, barely 350 yards a day. That's ridiculous. — Bill Bryson

Recognition is one of the three big elements of comedy. — Bill Maher

I've never quite understood that feeling: that you arrive in a strange place, yet you want to have nothing but familiar experiences. — Bill Bryson

Faith does not come from our understanding. It comes from the heart. We do not believe because we understand; we understand because we believe (see Heb. 11:6). We'll know when our mind is truly renewed, because the impossible will look logical. — Bill Johnson

The New York Times, with what was threatening to become a customary lack of prescience, forecast that it would never be a serious competitor for radio because "people must sit and keep their eyes glued on a screen; the average American family hasn't time for it."34 — Bill Bryson

I'm not going to be Bill Clinton and say I never inhaled. I did inhale. I liked tobacco a lot better. — Frank Zappa

I hate to say anything that may hurt UCLA, but I can't be quiet when I see what the NCAA is doing to Jerry Tarkanian only because he has a reputation for giving a second chance to many black athletes other coaches have branded as troublemakers. The NCAA is working night and day trying to get Jerry, but no one from the NCAA ever questioned me during my four years at UCLA! — Bill Walton

Bill Clinton's foreign policy experience stems mainly from having breakfast at the International House of Pancakes. — Pat Buchanan

You can't lie to kids about drugs. They know about drugs. You can't say they're just all bad. They know life is a little more complicated. I have never done heroin. I would never recommend heroin, but it hasn't hurt my record collection. — Bill Maher

Obama doesn't know how to be President. He doesn't know how the world works. He's incompetent. He's an amateur! — Bill Clinton

The antigovernment paradigm blinds us to possibilities that lie outside its ideological litmus tests and prevents us from creating new networks of cooperation that can restore economic growth, bring economic opportunity to more people and places, and increase our ability to lead the world to a better future. — Bill Clinton

Portability also explains why many old chests and trunks had domed lids- to throw off water during travel. The great drawback of trunks, of course, is that everything has to be lifted at to get things at the bottom. It took a remarkably long time- till the 1600s- before it occurred to anyone to put drawers in and thus convert trunks into chests of drawers. — Bill Bryson

I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, "Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest." This guy was reaching. I figure, if he could overcome being nailed to a cross, I don't
think a Marlboro Light's gonna faze him that much. — Bill Hicks

In China today, Bill Gates is Britney Spears. In America today, Britney Spears is Britney Spears-and that is our problem. — Thomas L. Friedman

Female academics at King's in the 1950s were treated with a formalized disdain that — Bill Bryson

Unity is the only way in which the people of this country can overthrow the fascists, communists, capitalists, and all the other assholes who claim running a representative government is so difficult. The emphasis has been taken from the Bill of Rights and placed on the type of interpretation of the Constitution that best suits the people in power. — William Powell

And if California slides into the ocean, as the mystics and statistics say it will, I predict this hotel will be standing until I've paid my bill. — Warren Zevon

It's a funny world, Hobbes."
"True."
"But it's not a hilarious world. ... unless you like sick humour."
"The world is probably funnier to people who don't live here. — Bill Watterson

It's a game of habit, or repetition. You can't play one way in practice and another way in a game. It's a reflex. The game is so quick you don't have time to think. — Bill Sharman

Make it just like a Mac. — Bill Gates