Famous Quotes & Sayings

Josh Bazell Quotes & Sayings

Enjoy the top 18 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Josh Bazell.

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Famous Quotes By Josh Bazell

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If you're going to be soulless, you should at least consider outsourcing your conscience to someone else. — Josh Bazell

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I should say here that being chronically sleep-deprived is so demonstrably similar to being drunk that hospitals often feel like giant, ceaseless office Christmas parties. Except that at a Christmas party the schmuck standing next to you isn't about to fillet your pancreas with something called a hot knife. — Josh Bazell

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What a fascinating mix a hospital can be of people in a huge hurry and people too slow to get out of their way. — Josh Bazell

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My medical students. Two cups of human misery in short white coats. One is male and the other one female, and they both have names. That's all I can ever remember about them. — Josh Bazell

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Deliverance' is The Godfather for crackers. — Josh Bazell

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At least in the Gilded Age age they gilded shit. — Josh Bazell

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The journey from shame to resentment is the shortest on there is. — Josh Bazell

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But rituals turn us all into fucking idiots. Like those birds that sleep with their heads facing backwards because their ancestors slept with their heads under their wings. Plutarch says carrying new wives across thresholds is stupid because we don't remember that it refers to the rape of the Sabine women - and that's fucking Plutarch, two thousand years ago. We still draw the Reaper with a scythe. We should draw him driving a John Deere for Archer Daniels Midland. — Josh Bazell

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That look you get after every bone in your face has been broken at least once and then allowed to set without medical attention — Josh Bazell

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Ah, youth. It's like heroin you've smoked instead of snorted. Gone so fast you can't believe you still have to pay for it. — Josh Bazell

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The complete destruction of the human race is fairly amusing, obviously, particularly if it's going to happen through overpopulation and technology, the only two hobbies we've ever taken seriously. — Josh Bazell

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So I'm on my way to work and I stop to watch a pigeon fight a rat in the snow, and some fuckhead tries to mug me! — Josh Bazell

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Like most people raised on American movies, I have poor access to my emotions, but can banter like a motherfucker. — Josh Bazell

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You should never bother trying to remember where you put something. You should just imagine needing to put it somewhere now, then go to the place you pick. Because why would you pick a different location now than you did earlier? Your personality is more stable than that. It's not like we wake up each day as different people. It's just that we don't trust ourselves. — Josh Bazell

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The fucking beef industry and the fucking HMO industry,' Friendly says. 'Al-Cowda and HMOsama. — Josh Bazell

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Calling a tongue piecing 'cosmetic' is a bit of a stretch, since you don't get one because it makes you look better. You get one because you're so desperate for affection that you're willing to gruesomely harm yourself to advertise how well you suck dick. — Josh Bazell

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It's a weird curse, when you think about it. We're built for thought, and civilization, more than any other creature we've found. And all we really want to be is killers. — Josh Bazell

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When God is truly angry, He will not send vengeful angels.
He will send Magdalena.
Then take her away. — Josh Bazell