Best Tyrion Quotes & Sayings

And what lesson can we draw from Volantene history?"
"If you want to conquer the world, you best have dragons. — George R R Martin

Warn you, Lannister, you'll find no inns at the Wall," he had said, looking down on him. "No doubt you'll find some place to put me," Tyrion had replied. "As you might have noticed, I'm small. — George R R Martin

Little redcape," he snarled, "when next you bare steel on Shagga son of Dolf, I will chop off your manhood and roast it in the fire."
"What, no goats?" Tyrion said, taking a bite of his cheese. — George R R Martin

Do you think it will truly come to battle between them? If they should come to some accord - "
"They won't," Tyrion said. "They are too different and yet too much alike, and neither could ever stomach the other. — George R R Martin

The dwarf has risen from the dead, Tyrion thought. And look, he's uglier than ever, run tell your friends. — George R R Martin

Tyrion Lannister: Someone should tell the cooks that turnips isn't a meat. — George R R Martin

This is folly, Tyrion,' declared Lord Tywin. 'Speak to the matter at hand. You are not on trial for being a dwarf.
'That is where you err, my lord. I have been on trial for being a dwarf my entire life. — George R R Martin

You promised him vengeance as well.' 'I promised him justice.' 'Call it what you will. It still comes down to blood. - Tywin & Tyrion — George R R Martin

Your brother Jaime keeps losing battles. He gave Sansa an angry look, as if it were her fault. He's been taken by the Starks and we've lost Riverrun and now her stupid brother is calling himself a king.
The dwarf smiled crookedly. All sorts of people are calling themselves kings these days. — George R R Martin

Tyrion felt a pang of rage. "You fucking son of a pox-ridden ass," he spat. "I hope you die of a bloody flux. — George R R Martin

The Lord of Winterfell would always be a Stark — George R R Martin

Shaga: How would you like to die, little man?
Tyrion: In my bed, at the age of eighty with a belly full of wine and a woman's mouth around my cock. — George R R Martin

Noseless and Handless, the Lannister Boys. — George R R Martin

Tyrion seated himself and took a sip of wine. If a man paints a target on his chest, he should expect that sooner or later someone will loose an arrow at him. I have seen dead men with more humor than your Ser Alliser. — George R R Martin

... When you've know me longer, you'll learn that I mean everything I say."
"Even the lies?"
"Especially the lies. Lord Petyr ... — George R R Martin

I'm short not blind — George R R Martin

Tyrion let the eunuch help him mount. "Lord Varys," he said from the saddle, "sometimes I feel as though you are the best friend I have in King's Landing and sometimes I feel you are my worst enemy."
"How odd. I think quite the same of you. — George R R Martin

It was bitingly cold up here,and the wind pulled at his clothes like an insistent lover. — George R R Martin

She has the blood of a wolf," said Joffrey. "And you have the wits of a goose," said Tyrion. — George R R Martin

As you say," Tyrion grinned. "If I were Volantene, and free, and had the blood, you'd have my vote for triarch, my lady."
"I am no lady," the widow replied, "just Vogarro's whore. You want to be gone from here before the tigers come. Should you reach your queen, give her a message from the slaves of Old Volantis." She touched the faded scar upon her wrinkled cheek, where her tears had been cut away. "Tell her we are waiting. Tell her to come soon. — George R R Martin

At night Tyrion would oft hear her praying. A waste of words. If there are gods to listen, they are monstrous gods who torment us for their sport. Who else would make a world like this, so full of bondage, blood, and pain? — George R R Martin

You look very elegant today, my lord."
"I'm wounded. I strive to look elegant every day." - Tyrion & Littlefinger — George R R Martin

Joffrey received loving kisses from the bride's father and his two new brothers, Loras and Garlan. No one seemed in any great rush to kiss Tyrion. When the king and queen had taken their seats, the High Septon rose to lead a prayer. — George R R Martin

No man threatens His Grace in the presence of the Kingsguard."
Tyrion Lannister raised an eyebrow. "I am not threatening the king, ser, I am educating my nephew. Bronn, Timett, the next time Ser Boros opens his mouth, kill him." The dwarf smiled.
"Now that was a threat, ser. See the difference? — George R R Martin

Bronn himself, who'd only smiled that insolent dark smile of his and afterward said, "They'll kill for that knighthood, but don't ever think they'll die for it."
Tyrion had no such delusion. — George R R Martin

Ofttimes a very small man can cast a very large shadow.
Tyrion smiled. Lord Varys, I am growing strangely fond of you. I may kill you yet, but I think I'd feel sad about it.
I will take that as high praise. — George R R Martin

If I am ever Hand again, the first thing I'll do is hang all the singers, said Tyrion, too loudly. — George R R Martin

I spent a lot of time [between takes] apologising to Peter Dinklage [Dance's on-screen son, Tyrion Lannister] because I treat him appallingly. — Charles Dance

Tyrion: Careful now, Shagga, you've cut him.
Shagga: Dolf fathered warriors, not barbers. — George R R Martin

Varys appeared not long after Lord Jacelyn had left. "Men are such faithless creatures," he said by way of greeting. Tyrion sighed. "Who's the traitor today?" The eunuch handed him a scroll. "So much villainy, it sings a sad song for our age. Did honor die with your fathers? — George R R Martin

Learn to use yours ears more and your mouth less, or your reign will be shorter than I am. — George R R Martin

How I have yearned for the sound of your sweet voice," Tyrion sighed to her. "How I have yearned to have that eunuch's tongue pulled out with hot pincers," Cersei replied. — George R R Martin

None taken, Ser Jaremy. My father is very fond of spiked heads, especially those of people who have annoyed him in some fashion. And a face as noble as yours, well, no doubt he saw you decorating the city wall above King's Gate. I think you would have looked very striking up there. — George R R Martin

Remember this, boy. All dwarfs may be bastards, yet not all bastards need be dwarfs — George R R Martin