Best Seth Meyers Quotes & Sayings

I'm a terrible grocery shopper. I hardly ever do it. And if I do, there's never more than three things in the bag. — Seth Meyers

I love cheese plates. Though I actually hate cheese plates. Because I can't say no to them. — Seth Meyers

It's nice when I get offered small parts. But I really think that 'SNL' is what my skill set is best designed for. — Seth Meyers

Seth Meyers and I wrote a 'Spider-Man' comic. — Bill Hader

My mother is an incredibly beautiful woman who has laughed at every single thing my father's ever said. At a young age, my brother and I understood that if you can make girls laugh, you can punch well above your weight class. — Seth Meyers

It's weird to sit as a comedian. Being still drives me crazy. — Seth Meyers

Once you get past funny, my other qualities are so below average. It's not like I'm handy. — Seth Meyers

Amy Poehler was new to SNL and we were all crowded into the seventeenth-floor writers' room, waiting for the Wednesday night read-through to start. [ ... ] Amy was in the middle of some such nonsense with Seth Meyers across the table, and she did something vulgar as a joke. I can't remember what it was exactly, except it was dirty and loud and "unladylike",
Jimmy Fallon [ ... ] turned to her and in a faux-squeamish voice said, "Stop that! It's not cute! I don't like it."
Amy dropped what she was doing, went black in the eyes for a second, and wheeled around on him. "I don't fucking care if you like it." Jimmy was visibly startled. Amy went right back to enjoying her ridiculous bit.
With that exchange, a cosmic shift took place. Amy made it clear that she wasn't there to be cute. She wasn't there to play wives and girlfriends in the boys' scenes. She was there to do what she wanted to do and she did not fucking care if you like it. — Tina Fey

Seth Meyers is highly overrated as a comedian. — Donald Trump

We had almost exactly a year together as a couple after that. She wanted to swim the Great Barrier Reef. I wish we had gone. I wish we had read books to each other. We had one weekend of sexy-times in New York City while her father looked after the kids. I wish we'd had more. I wish we'd walked more. I wish we hadn't sat in front of the TV so much. It was nice, we cuddled, we laughed at Stephen Colbert and Seth Meyers, but it didn't make much in the way of memories. We did such ordinary, banal things. Ordered pizza and played Trivial Pursuit with her sister and her dad. Helped the kids with homework. We did dishes together more than we ever made love. What kind of life is that?"
"Real life," Harper said. — Joe Hill

People appreciate it when you take some time to think about who will be listening to your jokes. — Seth Meyers

The nice thing about anger is that, as an emotion, it's strong enough to unplug me from the comedian's mind for a minute and just be a frustrated member of the citizenry. — Seth Meyers

My father is sort of the jokester. My dad is still the funniest guy in our family. — Seth Meyers

I always feel the most validated and confident being around people that I find funny - having Fred Armisen laugh at a scene or Bill Hader or Seth Meyers give me a compliment. — Cecily Strong

I enjoy talking about politics a great deal. — Seth Meyers

'SNL' after-parties are sort of like a time to celebrate your successes and drown your sorrows, depending on how the show went for you. — Seth Meyers

The first time I had disposable income, the two things I cared most about were a television and a couch. — Seth Meyers

I'm strictly a sugar-free Red Bull guy. I'd rather enjoy my sugar intake elsewhere. — Seth Meyers

When my girlfriend and I talk about being happy, I'll get choked up, which I think is the greatest gift you can give a girlfriend. — Seth Meyers