Best Motivational And Funny Quotes & Sayings

They told me that nothing was a sin, just a poor life choice. Poor impulse control. That nothing is evil. Any concept of right versus wrong, according to them, is merely a cultural construct relative to one specific time and place. They said that if anything should force us to modify our personal behavior it should be our allegiance to a social contract, not some vague, externally imposed threat of flaming punishment. — Chuck Palahniuk

Only love will attract love."~ Amunhotep El Bey — Amunhotep El Bey

It's funny how we all live under the same sky, but we don't all have the same horizon. — Habeeb Akande

It's hard to get lost if you don't know where you're going. — Jim Jarmusch

Life is a mighty joke that is not meant to be funny. — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

Love is as we will it to be." ~ Amunhotep El Bey — Amunhotep El Bey

When anybody laughs, he has no mind, no thought, no problem, no suffering. — H.W.L. Poonja

These motivational tapes have really inspired me! I'm going to make a million dollars, buy my own company and retire early. Then, I'm going to write a novel and a symphony and give all the profits to charity. Then next month, I'll figure out how to do it. — Randy Glasbergen

All too often we fail to see the good in a difficult situation. Our minds are wired in such a funny way that we tend to believe just because a door closed it must be a bad thing. — Lindsey Rietzsch

You're a kid, your whole life is awesome. It's awesome, right? You had no money, no ID, no cell phone, no nothing, no keys to the house. You just ran outside into the woods. You weren't
scared of nothing. I challenge you to do that as an adult. All your IDs, all your credit cards - just run out of the house with no phone, turn the corner where you can't see your house, and
not have a full on panic attack. — Bill Burr

Maturity does not always come with age; sometimes age comes alone. — John C. Maxwell

The key to success is not through achievement, but through enthusiasm. — Malcolm Forbes

You gazed at the moon and fell in the gutter. — Thomas Fuller

There are only two profound ways to reach enlightenment: Laugh by yourself, or get tickled. — Saurabh Sharma

I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened. — Will Rogers

Innovation Big pain, no shame being same-to-same — Praveen Kumar

Five out of four people have trouble with fractions. — Steven Wright

Simple answers to the most difficult questions:

1. Why do humans find it difficult to express themselves?

To relate to the movies and books, later.


2. Why do humans make everything look so big, beautiful & complicated?

Ego feels good.


3. Why do humans want to protect the nature?

Because they can't even protect themselves. Moreover, they are guilty conscious.


4. What is romance?

It is complicated as far as humans are concerned.


5. What is love?

The complicated part of the fourth question.


6. What is unconditional love?

Not there yet.


7. Who is God?

Sixth leads you to the seventh.


8. Who am I?

Ask yourself.


9. What is loneliness?

Potential energy wasted on learned answers.


10. What is happiness?

All of the above. — Saurabh Sharma

The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs ... one step at a time. — Joe Girard

Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes. — Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach

You spend your TIME to make a DIME. You lose your HEALTH to make your WEALTH, but at the end it is FUNNY because you leave back all your MONEY. — R.v.m.

I had imaginary friends and even they were mean to me. — Olivia Wilde

You are only Half Happy unless you love them both equally: Friday & Monday! — Mohith Agadi

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man ... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money. — George Carlin

It's funny how, in this journey of life, even though we may begin at different times and places, our paths cross with others so that we may share our love, compassion, observations, and hope. This is a design of God that I appreciate and cherish. — Steve Maraboli

It's funny when so many people I meet tell me that I'm a complicated and mysterious person they can't understand. The problem isn't in me but in them. When I say something, I do it. The problem is that they don't believe I will, and they don't believe anyone can do what I say I will. That's their confusion. But actually, I'm a simple person, as I always match my own words. That's how you must see it. Just cut through "common sense" and move forward, and achieve! Let others worry about the how. — Robin Sacredfire

I'm saving my sick days for when I'm feeling better. — Salma Hayek

You're FAT - and don't try to sugarcoat it, because you'll just eat that, too. — Phillip C. McGraw

Just because I rock doesn't mean I am made of stone. — Jim Carrey

Whenever I'm running an hour late for for work, it always makes me feel better when I can leave an hour early at the end of the day to make up for it. — Mark W. Boyer