Best Homestuck Quotes & Sayings

Lies of omission do not exist. The concept is a very human one. It is the product of your story writing again. You have written a story about the truth, making emotional demands of it, and in particular, of those in possession of it. Your demands are based on a feeling of entitlement to the facts, which is very childish. You can never know all of the facts. Only I can. And since it's impossible for me to reveal all facts to you, it is my discretion alone that decides which facts will be revealed in the finite time we have. If I do not volunteer information you deem critical to your fate, it possibly means that I am a scoundrel, but it does not mean that I am a liar. And it certainly means you did not ask the right questions.
One can make either true statements or false statements about reality. All of the statements I make are true. — Scratch

You want her in every quadrant like a desperate fool. — Andrew Hussie

Your grandma always was an advocate of thorough preparedness. She would strongly advise staying not only armed to the teeth, but well equipped in the computational department. You've been taught you should really carry no less than 5 computers on you at all times, like a sensible person. — Andrew Hussie

You love SITUATION COMEDIES, whilst holding particular affection for MUSTACHIOED FUNNYMEN. You know, your FOXWORTHIES, your FUNKES, your SWANSONS, but not necessarily your GALLAGHERS PER SE, because you have to draw the fucking line somewhere. — Andrew Hussie

ROSE: I think I've spent too much time around Dave.
ROSE: I've also probably spent too much time sharing his genes. — Andrew Hussie

You were afraid this might be the case. Your dad has blocked the front door with the REFRIGERATOR. Looks like he's taking the grounding seriously this time. — Andrew Hussie

GAMZEE: honk.
KARKAT: WHAT.
GAMZEE: HONK.
KARKAT: WHAT DOES HONK MEAN THIS TIME YOU WHIMSICAL PIECE OF SHIT????? — Andrew Hussie

JADE: but it makes me sad to think i would act like this
JADESPRITE: act like what?
JADE: i would like to think that even if i was sad and scared, if i was put in a position where everyone depended on me, i could put all those feelings aside and do whats right!
JADESPRITE: but i dont know whats right
JADE: yes you do!
JADE: even though you dont want to be, youre here now, and there are still people who need you
JADE: there is still something worth fighting for! — Andrew Hussie

You understand reality while everyone else is running around confused and angry and upset because they think reality is something happening to them rather than something they are making every moment with every thought. — Andrew Hussie

I will never write anything better than Homestuck. Nigger farts! Jews: Kill them all. — Andrew Hussie

The Homestuck-ery of it all! — Me

Also, SKULLS. Gosh you love SKULLS. There is a good SKULL at the heart of any mystery, haunting its EVERY PAGE. That is what you always say. Or at least, it is what you always HOPE. — Andrew Hussie

But aside from a few migraines, you can't possibly imagine any OBEY drawbacks that CEASE REPRODUCTION could come with SUBMIT merging CONSUME your thoughts with EMBRACE YOUR CULLING experimental technology CONFORM TO SOCIAL ORDER from an STAY ASLEEP extremely powerful DIE corporation, wait what? — Andrew Hussie

JOHN: sorry buddy. as the age old saying goes, you snooze, you lose. — Andrew Hussie

This is exactly why babies should not be allowed to dual-wield flintlock pistols. — Andrew Hussie

HS is supposedly a story that is also a game. In games, the characters die all the time. How many times did you let Mario fall in the pit before he saved the princess? Who weeps for these Marios. In games your characters die, but you keep trying and trying and rebooting and resetting until finally they make it. When you play a game this process is all very impersonal. Once you finally win, when all is said and done those deaths didn't "count", only the linear path of the final victorious version of the character is considered "real". Mario never actually died, did he? Except the omniscient player knows better. HS seems to combine all the meaningless deaths of a trial-and-error game journey with the way death is treated dramatically in other media, where unlike our oblivious Mario, the characters are aware and afraid of the many deaths they must experience before finally winning the game. — Andrew Hussie

The SAFE was slain in battle. A great flaming nautical pyre carries it off to VAULTHALLA. — Andrew Hussie

An outrageously awesome dude stands before a crater where his favorite record shop stood one day prior. He is prepared for the occasion with a small pair of outrageously awesome shades. — Andrew Hussie

You figure you'll cool it on the time travel for a while. Don't want to see the Dave corpses start to pile up. Especially if one of them winds up being you. — Andrew Hussie

AT: I do not want to die.
AT: I understand you are disgusted with me.
AT: As an unpalatable expression of yourself.
AT: I would feel the same way if I was in your situation.
AT: Which I am.
AT: As such, I know that you know this is wrong.
TT: ...
AT: Dirk.
AT: Don't kill me.
AT: Please.
AT: I am scared.
TT: You are?
AT: Yes.
AT: I am scared to not exist.
AT: Aren't you? — Andrew Hussie

KARKAT:REMEMBER PANTS TEREZI?? YOU USED TO LOVE PANTS! — Andrew Hussie