Best Funny Sales Quotes & Sayings

Looking back now, it's funny to think we got so worked up, because usually the Sales were a big disappointment....But the point was, I suppose, we'd all of us in the past found something at a Sale, something that had become special...and so however much we tried to pretend otherwise, we couldn't ever shake off the old feelings of hope and excitement. — Kazuo Ishiguro

My book sales are way down today. Also, I've received two scathing reviews. One of them calls me a purveyor of insipid wet-dreams. — Nenia Campbell

Funny isn't it, that such a large percentage of people believe in the possibility of ghosts yet scoff at stories about then; whereas less than a fifth of one percent think there actually may be vampires, yet glamorize and romanticize them into millions of dollar of sales. Perhaps the real irony is that the thought of ghosts is just a little too close to people's comfort level. — D.L. Koontz

How did I end up in this situation? I'm the district sales manager of a napkin factor. Why is my daughter in space? — Andy Weir

I showed what I can do with butter, right? Eighty-five percent increase in sales. I'm very proud of them Country Life ads. They were funny and clever and classy like the Toblerone ads I grew up with. — John Lydon

Isn't that funny, to think that the people who have lived in your daydreams for the past two weeks, the people whom you've drawn in your chemistry notebook, to think that those people might not even know who you are? — Leila Sales

Don't confuse efforts with results.... — C.P. Sennett

I glared at him. "You came all the way to Essex just to spy on us?"
"Yeah." He smirked. "I crossed the street. It was really rough. — Leila Sales

Did you ever wake up with an erection ... and find yourself in a massage chair at Brookstone? And you yell to the sales clerk "I'll take it!" — Zach Galifianakis