Best Dear Abby Quotes & Sayings

You are grown, Abby, dear. You're amazing. I don't know why you don't see that." "But, that's just it. I do see that. I know I'm amazing and that people should get over the past and see that I'm an adult who likes to dance and not just knit. They need to get over the fact that my parents always fought and don't even know who I am anymore. They need to know that I'm not the goody-goody they think I am. But that's not going to happen in a town where everyone knows the exact brand of tampons I use and when I need to buy them." Jordan curled a lip and shook her head. "That's just sick. You know, that was one part of small-town living I didn't miss." "Yeah, just wait until they make a connection to when you stop buying them. Because believe me, they're watching to see when you and Matt make a mini Cooper." She laughed at her own joke, even as Jordan's eyes widened. "You're kidding, right? We just got married. — Carrie Ann Ryan

Dear Abby,
My boyfriend won't suck my blood. I've offered, I've cajoled. I've even begged, even though begging is totally humiliating and degrading because I'm so afraid that if he doesn't, he's going to die. Oh, and did I mention he's a vampire? No, really, the undead kind.
Signed,
Confused in Texas.
Dear Confused:
What the Fuck!? — Maria Lima

It is a sad commentary of our times when our young must seek advice and counsel from 'Dear Abby' instead of going to Mom and Dad. — Pauline Phillips

Dear Abby has had her day, now it's my turn! — Barbara "Cutie" Cooper

No one knows better than I how unworthy I am.'
A sentimental sigh and an inarticulate murmur from Selina showed that this frank avowal had moved her profoundly. Upon Abby it had a different effect. 'Trying to take the wind out of my eye, Mr Calverleigh?' she said.
If he was disconcerted he did not betray it, but answered immediately: 'No, but, perhaps - the words out of your mouth?'
Privately, she gave him credit for considerable adroitness, but all she said was: 'You are mistaken: I am not so uncivil!'
'And it isn't true!' Fanny declared passionately. 'I won't permit anyone to say such a thing - not even you, Abby!'
'Well, I haven't said it, my dear, nor am I likely to, so there is really no need for you to fly up into the boughs! — Georgette Heyer

I'm lyric conscious. I like to tell stories, give advice. Instead of writing a 'Dear Abby' column, I do it on records. — Betty Wright

You could move.'
"Dear Abby" responds to a reader who complained that a gay couple was moving in across the street and wanted to know what he could do to improve the quality of the neighborhood. — Abigail Van Buren

I was a big and un-ironic fan of Dear Abby when I was a kid in Chicago. I think I sort of internalized her. So I have this inner Abby: cranky, proper, folksy yet scathing, with a beehive hairdo. But that's my issue. — George Saunders

A letter to Dear Abby: I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting pretty expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.* (f) — Walker Percy

People who write to 'Dear Abby' don't always have the most earthshaking problems in the world. — Jeanne Phillips