B Is For Bigfoot Quotes & Sayings

How come every one of these so-called photos of Bigfoot are blurred or distorted? Don't any of these Bigfoot aficionados have a decent camera? — G. Kent

From day one it was like society was this violent, complicated dance and everybody had taken lessons but me. Knocked to the floor again, climbing to my feet each time, bloody and humiliated. Always met with disapproving faces, waiting for me to leave so I'd stop fucking up the party.
The wanted to push me outside, where the freaks huddled in the cold. Out there with the misfits, the broken, the glazed-eye types who can only watch as the normals enjoy their shiny new cars and careers and marriages and vacations with the kids.
The freaks spend their lives shambling around, wondering how they got left out, mumbling about conspiracy theories and bigfoot sightings. Their encounters with the world are marked by awkward conversations and stifled laughter, hidden smirks and rolled eyes. And worst of all, pity. — David Wong

Anytime there is a Bigfoot show, where they supposedly have recordings of him, I am watching. I love the idea of Bigfoot. I want him to be out there somewhere. — Allen Covert

Heard a rumor you can't cook," he said.
She didn't look away from her reading. "You know rumors.
They're always true."
She had him there. According to some of the tabloids, he had fourteen love children, two with aliens and one with the sister of Bigfoot. — Jamie Farrell

How many times I have explain? I pee over there, over there and over there. Technically make it Bigfoot territory. — Graham Roumieu

More and more I'm more interested in the power of non-knowledge in our lives. We live so much in what we know, but really all our knowledge is at best a tiny island in a sea of ignorance. — Bigfoot

Checking email every 45 seconds is not only compulsive, it's presumptuous. It suggests a belief that anyone who sends us a message needs us to read it immediately, even if the message is from SkyMall telling us our Bigfoot Garden Yeti statue has shipped. — Meghan Daum

Picture Bigfoot with tits, dude ... she was fuckin' grisly. — Jenn Cooksey

Daemon parked as far away as he could, obviously more afraid of getting dings in Dolly's side then us being eaten by Bigfoot. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

Q: Bigfoot, when my Guinea pig wake up? Parents say he sleeping in box in ground in bakc garden.
Suzie, Ag 9, Toronto, Canada
A: Actually Suzie Guinea pig dead and Bigfoot already dig up and eat. If want back Bigfoot probably poop out bones and fur ni day or so. Very delicious, raise him right, he taste like love. — Graham Roumieu

Its better to be thought a fool, than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt. — William Jevning

Bigfoot was interviewed on The Patty Winters Show this morning and to my shock I found him surprisingly articulate and charming. — Bret Easton Ellis

Bigfoot understood - as I came to understand - that character is far more important than skills or employment history. And he recognized character - good and bad - brilliantly. He understood, and taught me, that a guy who shows up every day on time, never calls in sick, and does what he said he was going to do, is less likely to fuck you in the end than a guy who has an incredible resume but is less than reliable about arrival time. Skills can be taught. Character you either have or don't have. Bigfoot understood that there are two types of people in the world: those who do what they say they're going to do - and everyone else. — Anthony Bourdain

It true, Bigfoot career been in hole lately. Bigfoot mania of the '70's and '80's but distant memory. I famous for ability to not be see but don't think I not notice you not notice. I blame music television and internet. People too lazy and stupid to appreciate conceptual artist like Bigfoot who appeal is absence. — Graham Roumieu

I am not Chewbacca. Me think Chewbacca jerk. He no can act. He ride Bigfoot coat tails. he think he cool, but he not. He phoney loser with no class. He all messed up on crack me think. People think me Chewbacca sometimes. No! Me have job. Bad wookie. Bad. — Graham Roumieu

The only candidate I'd allow to play my music would be Bigfoot, and unless we're talking about foraging for squirrels, he's notoriously apolitical. — Greg Gutfeld

Rumors said that if he got drunk enough, he sometimes got his jollies by stripping naked and scaring hikers out in the Broken into thinking he was Bigfoot. — Ilona Andrews

Sure, she'd come across one or two things she couldn't explain. Cold spots, disembodied voices, Lady Gaga. Unfortunately, Bigfoot was not one of them. — Stephanie Julian

They vanished in the same forest without a trace. Not one of them was ever found or heard from again.'
'And you suspect what?' Scully asked. 'Bigfoot maybe?'
'Not likely,' Mulder answered deadpan. 'That's a lot of flannel to choke down. Even for Bigfoot.'
Scully sighed. She should have known better than to joke about Bigfoot to Mulder. Bigfoot wasn't a joke to him. — Les Martin

We may not find the answers. We may not find Bigfoot. We may not find a chupacabra. We may not find out who was responsible for killing JFK, but we're going to keep looking, asking, probing. And one day - you know what? - we may get some of those answers. — George Noory

It's nice to see you. Aimee calls you Bigfoot, by the way."
"Bigfoot?"
"Yeah, you know, like a mythical creature that people say they've seen in the wild but no one knows for sure if it's real. That's you ... — Tracy Brogan

I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run, he's fuzzy, get out of here. — Mitch Hedberg

A typical National World Weekly would tell the world how Jesus' face was seen on a Big Mac bun bought by someone from Des Moines, with an artist's impression of the bun; how Elvis Presley was recently sighted working in a Burger Lord in Des Moines; how listening to Elvis records cured a Des Moines housewife's cancer; how the spate of werewolves infesting the Midwest are the offspring of noble pioneer women raped by Bigfoot; and that Elvis was taken by Space Aliens in 1976 because he was too good for this world. Remarkably, one of these stories is indeed true. — Neil Gaiman

Depending on which frothy-mouthed Internet pulpit-beater I chose to believe, Holzter Point might conceal anything from alien artifacts to Bigfoot's sperm samples, plus a few pickled flipper babies from Three Mile Island and Jimmy Hoffa's stomach contents. I'd like to make fun of those guys, but I had information from a blind vampire that the storage facility held details of medical experiments conducted by the military on the unwilling undead. So far be it from me to call anyone nuts. — Cherie Priest

Whenever you've got a choice, do good, kiddo. It isn't always fun or easy, but in the long run it makes your life better. — Jim Butcher

I did. I did see Bigfoot when I was a kid and I still believe it to this day. I saw a big furry man outside my window. It's not funny! It was real. — Barry Watson

In a way, both the U.S. media and those wacky rioters in the Afghan-Pakistani hinterlands are very similar, two highly parochial and monumentally self-absorbed tribes living in isolation from the rest of the world and prone to fanatical irrational indestructible beliefs - not least the notion that you can flush a 950-page book down one of Al Gore's eco-crazed federally mandated low-flush toilets, a claim no editorial bigfoot thought to test for himself in Newsweek's executive washroom. — Mark Steyn

We just haven't found Bigfoot because the world is big. And the woods are deep. The more TV shows that we can get where people go out looking for Bigfoot, the better our chances are. So let's get more of those shows going. — Rob Huebel

So quit looking for 'the one'. You have a better chance of finding an Oompa Loompa riding a unicorn, fighting Bigfoot. — Matt Chandler

I would host a show where I take famous people out into the woods every week to find Bigfoot. I would do that. And you know what? We would find him in like a week. — Rob Huebel

What distracts me from my reality is bigfoot. They are my celebrities. — Megan Fox

Whenever I stumble over my own feet, or blurt out a thought that makes no sense at all, or leave the house wearing one pattern too many, I always think, It's okay, I'm from New Jersey. I love New Jersey, because it's not just an all-purpose punch line, but probably a handy legal defense, as in, Yes, I shot my wife because I thought she was Bigfoot, but I'm from New Jersey. — Paul Rudnick