William Goldman Quotes & Sayings

Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something. — William Goldman

It was all part of growing up. You got these little quick passions, you blinked, and they were gone. You forgave faults, found perfection, fell madly; then the next day the sun came up and it was over. Chalk it up to experience, old girl, and get on with the morning. Buttercup stood, made her bed, changed her clothes, combed her hair, smiled, and burst out again in a fit of weeping. Because there was a limit to just how much you could lie to yourself. — William Goldman

Existence was really very simple when you did what you were told. — William Goldman

Princess. By S. Morgenstern. It's a kids' classic. Tell him I'll quiz him on it when I'm back next week and that he doesn't have to like it or anything, but if he doesn't, tell him I'll kill myself. Give him that message exactly please; I wouldn't want to apply any extra pressure or anything. — William Goldman

thereafter, the selfsame — William Goldman

I don't have to tell you, once you get a corpse really caught up in conversation, your battle's half over. — William Goldman

Is he really so wonderful, this Westley of yours?"
"Not so much wonderful as perfect," she replied. "Kind of flawless. More or less magnificent. Without blemish. Rather on the ideal side. — William Goldman

I'm not witch. I'm your wife. — William Goldman

People don't remember me. Really. It's not a paranoid thing; I just have this habit of slipping through memories. It doesn't bother me all that much, except I guess that's a lie; it does. For some reason, I test very high on forgettability. — William Goldman

With any luck at all," he said, "we should soon be safely in the Fire Swamp. — William Goldman

He looked as much like Karl as Cuddles Sakall resembled Argentina Rocca. — William Goldman

I am as devoted to adventure now as then, and that's never going to stop. — William Goldman

What's the handle, Zock? — William Goldman

He was the mighty Fezzik, lover of rhymes, and you did not give up, no matter what. — William Goldman

One of the things that happens to careers out here is that people destroy themselves because they begin to think they're wonderful. They begin to think they know what they're doing, and the minute that happens, it's over. — William Goldman

In any case, the two countries had stayed alive over the centuries mainly by warring on each other. There had been the Olive War, the Tuna Fish Discrepancy, which almost bankrupted both nations, the Roman Rift, which did send them both into insolvency, only to be followed by the Discord of the Emeralds, in which they both got rich again, chiefly by banding together for a brief period and robbing everybody within sailing distance. — William Goldman

I'll tell you the truth and its up to you to live with it. — William Goldman

Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning. — William Goldman

The writing is never what takes the most time. It's trying to figure what you're going to put down that fills the days. With anger at your own ineptitude, with frustration that nothing is happening inside your head, with panic that maybe nothing will ever happen inside your head, with blessed little moments that somehow knit together so that you can begin to visualize a scene. — William Goldman

There are always too few perfect breasts in this world; leave yours alone. — William Goldman

It was 5.48, and she knew that she would never die. — William Goldman

Back when we were on the farm, I thought I loved you, but that was not love. When I saw your face behind the mask on the ravine floor, I thought I loved you, but that was again nothing more than deep infatuation. Beloved: I think I love you now, and I pray you only give me the chance to spend my life in constant proving. — William Goldman

Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Poison. True love. Hate. Revenge. Giants. Hunters. Bad men. Good men. Beautifulest ladies. Snakes. Spiders. Beasts of all natures and descriptions. Pain. Death. Brave men. Coward men. Strongest men. Chases. Escapes. Lies. Truths. Passion. Miracles. — William Goldman

He had risked his life and now it was walking away from him, hand-in-hand with a Ruffian prince. — William Goldman

I love you, I know this must come as something of a surprise, since all I've ever done is scorn you and degrade you and taunt you, but I have loved you for several hours now, and every second, more. I thought an hour ago that I loved you more than any woman has ever loved a man, but a half hour after that I knew that what I felt before was nothing compared to what I felt then. But ten minutes after that, I understood that my previous love was a puddle compared to the high seas before a storm. — William Goldman

There were stories that the King was dying, that he was already dead, that he had been dead long since, that he was fine. — William Goldman

When I was your age, television was called books. — William Goldman

Your father is dying."
"Drat!" said the Prince, "That means I shall have to get married. — William Goldman

The first morning after Westley's departure, Buttercup thought she was entitled to do nothing more than sit around moping and feeling sorry for herself. After all, the love of her life had fled, life had no meaning, how could you face the future, et cetera, et cetera. — William Goldman

Any experience is profitable if you allow it to be, all actions are profitable, no matter how badly you may suffer from them. — William Goldman

Wide brimmed and narrow, some tall, some not, some fancy, some colorful, some plaid, some plain. She doted on changing hats at every opportunity. When she met the Prince, she was wearing one hat, when he asked her for a stroll, she excused herself, shortly to return wearing another, equally flattering. — William Goldman

[Inigo corners Count Rugen, knocks his sword aside, and slashes his cheek, giving him a scar just like Inigo's]
Inigo Montoya: Offer me money.
Count Rugen: Yes!
Inigo Montoya: Power, too, promise me that.
[He slashes his other cheek]
Count Rugen: All that I have and more. Please ...
Inigo Montoya: Offer me anything I ask for.
Count Rugen: Anything you want ...
[Rugen knocks Inigo's sword aside and lunges. But Inigo traps his arm and aims his sword at Rugen's stomach]
Inigo Montoya: I want my father back, you son of a bitch! — William Goldman

You are wonderful, Father.""I'm more than wonderful, how dare you insult me. — William Goldman

The boys. The beef-witted featherbrained rattleskulled clod-pated dim-domed noodle-noggined sapheaded lunk-knobbed boys. How could anybody accuse her of stealing them? Why would anybody want them anyway? — William Goldman

Someone would have to keep his wits, and he had assumed automatically that since Fezzik had so few, he would find retaining them not all that difficult. — William Goldman

But when a girl gives a boy a dead squid - that had to mean something. — William Goldman

You have to protect your writing time. You have to protect it to the death. — William Goldman

You would never in this world have beaten him. But I tell you this: he would never in this world have beaten you. — William Goldman

We have more than hope," Buttercup said. "There is true love. — William Goldman

The sun was rising behind her now; she could feel the heat on her back, and it gave her courage. — William Goldman

She had never looked as well. She had entered her room as just an impossibly lovely girl. The woman who emerged was a trifle thinner, a great deal wiser, an ocean sadder. This one understood the nature of pain, and beneath the glory of her features, there was character, and a sure knowledge of suffering. — William Goldman

Get used to disappointment. — William Goldman

Her mother was my wife," the Count roared, loudest of all. "You pathetic excuse for am money-grubbing fool, you disgrace to the face of the world." And with a shriek of disgust he turned and was gone.
Guilietta was beside Inigo then, so excited. "Daddy likes you," she said. — William Goldman

Let me get this thing straight, Inigo
we had SCRAPS for dinner? I'M in YOUR fantasy and the best you can come up with is SCRAPS?" She turned toward the door then. "You have no chance of winning my heart. — William Goldman

But just as he knew the sun was obliged to rise each morning in the east, no matter how much a western arisal might have pleased it, so he knew that Buttercup was obliged to spend her love on him. Gold was inviting, and so was royalty, but they could not match the fever in his heart, and sooner or later she would have to catch it. She had less choice than the sun. — William Goldman

The Prince found Buttercup waiting unhappily outside his chamber doors.
It's my letter,' she began. 'I cannot make it right.'
Come in, come in,' the Prince said gently. 'Maybe we can help you.' She sat down in the same chair as before. 'All right, I'll close my eyes and listen; read to me.'
Westley, my passion, my sweet, my only my own. Come back, come back. I shall kill myself otherwise. Yours in torment, Buttercup.' She looked at Humperdinck. 'Well? Do you think I'm throwing myself at him? — William Goldman

I am not a planner. I follow. Tell me what to do and no man alive does it better. But my mind is like fine wine; it travels badly. — William Goldman

I must be overtired', Buttercup managed. 'The excitement and all.'
'Rest then', her mother cautioned. 'Terrible things can happen when you're overtired. I was overtired the night your father proposed. — William Goldman

Isn't it awful what we'll do in this world to feel wanted? — William Goldman

[Prince Humperdinck] was seventy-five minutes away from his first female murder, and he wondered if he could get his fingers to her throat before even the start of a scream. He had been practicing on giant sausages all the afternoon and had the movements down pretty pat, but then, giant sausages weren't necks and all the wishing in the world wouldn't make them so. — William Goldman

It's an accepted fact that all writers are crazy; even the normal ones are weird. — William Goldman

The enemy is always in the mind. — William Goldman

One way an author dies a little each day is when his books go out of print. — William Goldman

(This was long after hairdressers; in truth, ever since there have been women, there have been hairdressers, Adam being the first, though the King James scholars do their very best to muddy this point.) — William Goldman

Screenplays are structure, and that's all they are. The quality of writing - which is crucial in almost every other form of literature - is not what makes a screenplay work. Structure isn't anything else but telling the story, starting as late as possible, starting each scene as late as possible. You don't want to begin with "Once upon a time," because the audience gets antsy. — William Goldman

And that's when she put her book down. And looked at me. And said it: Life isn't fair, Bill. we tell our children that it is, but it's a terrible thing to do. It's not only a lie, it's a cruel lie. Life is not fair, and it never has been, and it's never going to be. — William Goldman

My Westley will come for me. — William Goldman

It must have been fifty seconds before Doc died.
Long time. — William Goldman

May my hands fall from my wrists before I kill an artist like yourself," said the man in black. "I would as soon destroy da Vinci. However" - and here he clubbed Inigo's head with the butt of his sword - "since I can't have you following me either, please understand that I hold you in the highest respect. — William Goldman

The easiest thing to do on earth is not write. — William Goldman

In the kitchen, Chub clung to the wall, made no sound whatsoever, but his mouth opened and closed, opened and closed, as he told himself, kept telling himself, that life was material, everything was material - you just had to live long enough to see how to use it. — William Goldman

I can't keep my head above water one minute to the next: it's not just the parties and the goo-gooing with what's-her-name, I've got the decide how long the Five Hundredth Anniversary Parade is going to be and where does it start and when does it start and which nobleman gets to march in front of which other nobleman so that everyone's still speaking to me at the end of it, plus I've got a wife to murder and a country to frame for it, plus I've got to get the war going once that's all happened, and all this is stuff I've got to do myself. Here's what it all comes down to: I'm just swamped, Ty. — William Goldman

Life is pain," his mother said. "Anybody that says different is selling something. — William Goldman

I don't think most people realize - and there's no reason they should - the amount of demeaning garbage you have to take if you want a career in the arts. I mean, going off to med school is something you can say with your head high. Or being a banker or going into insurance or the family business - no problem. But the conversations I had with grown-ups after college ... "So you're done with school now, Bill." "That's right." "So what's next on the agenda?" Pause. Finally I would say it: "I want to be a writer." And then they would pause. "A writer." "I'd like to try." Third and final pause. And then one of two inevitable replies: either "What are you going to do next?" or "What are you really going to do?" That dread double litany ... What are you going to do next? ... What are you really going to do? ... What are you going to do next? ... What are you really going to do ... ? — William Goldman

Will you draw your sword with your free hand?"
"I already have. Will you make a fist with yours?"
"It's clenched. — William Goldman

Buttercup could picture Westley rounding the final corner. There were four guards outside waiting. At ten seconds per guard, she began figuring, but then stopped, because numbers had always been her enemy. She looked down at her hands. Oh, I hope he still thinks I'm pretty, she thought; those nightmares took a lot out of me. — William Goldman

You don't want to be rude but you have to be careful - there are a lot of strange people out there.
(Goldman attributes this quote to Cliff Robertson.) — William Goldman

Why do you wear a mask and hood?"
I think everybody will in the near future," was the man in black's reply. "They're terribly comfortable. — William Goldman

No more rhymes now I mean it!" "Anybody want a peanut?" "AAHH! — William Goldman

A little maybe; I've been saying it so long to you, you just wouldn't listen. Every time you said, 'Farm Boy do this' you thought I was answering 'As you wish' but that's only because you were hearing wrong. 'I love you' was what it was, but you never heard, and you never heard.' ~ Westley — William Goldman

You have a dizzying intellect. — William Goldman

If you do not kiss my mouth, Inigo Montoya of Spain, I will more than likely die. — William Goldman

Dummy, dummy, go out now and fill your tummy. — William Goldman

Flaws would not only bring death but, far worse, humiliation. — William Goldman

And Inigo felt, for the first time since the dying, such happiness. It had fled from him, happiness, and when you spend years without, you forget that no blessing compares ... — William Goldman

I just know once you're over your emotional outbursts, you'll come up with-'
I mean if we even had a wheelbarrow, that would be something,' Westley said. — William Goldman

Wow, brains as well as boobs. — William Goldman

There have been five great kisses since 1642 B.C ... (before then couples hooked thumbs.) And the precise rating of kisses is a terribly difficult thing, often leading to great controversy ... Well, this one left them all behind. — William Goldman

Just because you're beautiful and perfect, it's made you conceited. — William Goldman

And 5:25 when the screaming started outside the main gate. — William Goldman

All right. Your name before mine. You are the greatest sword maker, you deserve to come first."
"Have a good trip back."
"WHY WON'T YOU?"
"Because, my friend Yeste, you are very famous and very rich, and so you should be, because you make
wonderful weapons. But you must also make them for any fool who happens along. I am poor, and no
one knows me in all the world except you and Inigo, but I do not have to suffer fools."
"You are an artist," Yeste said.
"No. Not yet. A craftsman only. But I dream to be an artist. I pray that someday, if I work with enough
care, if I am very very lucky, I will make a weapon that is a work of art. Call me an artist then, and I will
answer. — William Goldman

When this is over we will see who is right, and who is dead. — William Goldman

Westley: Hear this now: I will always come for you.
Buttercup: But how can you be sure?
Westley: This is true love-you think this happens every day?
Westley: I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?
Buttercup: Well ... you were dead.
Westley: Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.
Buttercup: i will never doubt again.
Westley: There will never be a need. — William Goldman

The main thing was to know the world, every twenty-five years or so, back for a couple hundred years, and if you had that info handy, always there under your belt, then you could figure out the gaps. — William Goldman

The hollowness was in his arms and the world was snowing. — William Goldman

Stop saying that word. It was inconceivable that anyone could follow us, but when we looked behind, there was the man in black. It was inconceivable that anyone could sail as fast as we could sail, and yet he gained on us. Now this too is inconceivable, but look - look - " and the Spaniard pointed down through the night. "See how he rises. — William Goldman

There is one crucial rule that must be followed in all creative meetings. Never speak first. At least at the start, your job is to shut up. — William Goldman

Inigo was in despair.
Hard to find on the map (this was after maps) not because cartographers didn't know of its existence, but because when they visited to measure its precise dimensions, they became so depressed they began to drink and question everything, most notably why anyone would want to be something as stupid as a cartographer. It required constant travel, no one ever knew your name, and, most of all, why bother? There grew up, then, a gentleman's agreement among mapmakers of the period to keep the place as secret as possible, lest tourists flock there and die. (Should you insist on paying a visit, it's closer to the Baltic States than most places.) — William Goldman

My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die! — William Goldman

That explains it." Actually, of course, it didn't explain anything, but whenever doctors are confused about something, which is really more frequently than any of us would do well to think about, they always snatch at something in the vicinity of the case and add, "That explains it. — William Goldman

Have fun storming the castle! — William Goldman

I don't like killing a girl," the Spaniard said.
"God does it all the time; if it doesn't bother Him, don't let it worry you. — William Goldman

When I got discharged from the Army, I made a vow never to go back on an Army post. No big deal, just a simple lifelong vow. — William Goldman

The Duchess set about studying Annette and shortly found her adversary's tragic flaw.
Chocolate. — William Goldman

There is no room in my body for anything but you. — William Goldman

Death of the heart,' the subtitle says, Whose death? And even more important maybe, whose heart? — William Goldman

Anything there is that I can do for you, I will do for you; anything there is that I cannot do, I will learn to do. — William Goldman

I'm the Dread Pirate Roberts, but you can call me 'Weasley. — William Goldman

He didn't forget this either. He just didn't remember it in time. . . . — William Goldman

I mean if we even had a wheelbarrow, that would be something. — William Goldman