Will Rogers Quotes & Sayings
Enjoy the top 100 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Will Rogers.
Famous Quotes By Will Rogers
Government investigations have always contributed more to our amusement than they have to our knowledge. — Will Rogers
I doubt if a charging elephant, or a rhino, is as determined or hard to check as a socially ambitious mother. — Will Rogers
You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people. — Will Rogers
The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets. — Will Rogers
There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in. — Will Rogers
Here's another way of putting it. Roosevelt wants recovery to start at the bottom. In other words, by a system of high taxes, he wants business to help the little fellow to get started and get some work, and then pay business back by buying things when he's at work. Business says, 'Let everybody alone. Let business alone, and quit monkeying with us, and we'll get everything going for you, and if we prosper, naturally the worker will prosper.' — Will Rogers
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. — Will Rogers
I argue with wife over what little pieces of real estate investments we should try to pay on and hold, and which to let go back. We always said, "Put it in land, and you can always walk on it." We did, but no buyers would walk on it with us. — Will Rogers
Old Hollywood is just like a desert water in Africa. Hang around long enough and every kind of animal in the world will drift in for refreshments. — Will Rogers
Our financial ills will never be settled till you fix it so every man will pay an income tax on what he earns, be it a farm, grocery store or municipal or government bonds. — Will Rogers
Both gangs have been bad sports, so see if at least one can't redeem themselves by offering no alibis, but cooperate with the winner, for no matter which one it is the poor fellow is going to need it. — Will Rogers
About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation. — Will Rogers
They are having quite an argument over Treasury Secretary Mellon's Tax Bill. Mr. Mellon wants to cut the surtax on the rich, and leave it as is on the poor, as there is more poor than rich. I suppose the majority will win. — Will Rogers
If we could just go back the last two or three years and do our buying a little more carefully, why ... we would be O.K. — Will Rogers
People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide. — Will Rogers
This thing about getting rid of a man in the Cabinet is all right, but there is one bad feature to it that few people realize. That is, that unfortunately every one of them is replaced by someone else. If it wasn't for that, this resignation business would be great. — Will Rogers
What's the matter with the world? Why, there ain't nothing but one word wrong with everyone of us, and that's selfishness. — Will Rogers
But we can't alibi all our ills by just knocking the old banker. First he loaned the money, then the people all at once wanted it back, and he didn't have it. Now he's got it again, and is afraid to loan it, so the poor devil don't know what to do. — Will Rogers
Samuel Gompers has spent his life trying to keep labor from working too hard and has succeeded beyond his wildest dreams. — Will Rogers
A senator got up today in Congress and called his fellow senators sons of wild jackasses. Now, if you think the senators were hot, imagine how the jackasses must feel. — Will Rogers
We don't give our criminals much punishment, but we sure give 'em plenty of publicity. — Will Rogers
Just read the farm relief bill. It's just a political version of Einstein's last theory. If a farmer could understand it, he certainly would know more than to farm. He would be a professor at Harvard. — Will Rogers
I bet any Sunday could be made as popular at church as Easter is if you made 'em fashion shows too. The audience is so busy looking at each other that the preacher just as well recite Gunga Din. — Will Rogers
It is better for some one to think you're a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. — Will Rogers
Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation. — Will Rogers
Andrew Jackson was the first one to think up the idea to promise everybody that if they will vote for you, you will give them an office when you get it, and the more times they vote for you, the bigger the office. — Will Rogers
If Wall Street paid a tax on every "game" they run, we would get enough revenue to run the government on. — Will Rogers
The deer season just opened. A deer hunter in Ventura Country brought in his first man yesterday. — Will Rogers
We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business? — Will Rogers
In politics practically everything you hear is scandal, and besides, the funny thing is that the things they are whispering ain't half has bad as the things they have been saying right out loud. — Will Rogers
There is an awful lot of difference between reading something and actually seeing it, for you can never tell, till you see it, just how big a liar History is. — Will Rogers
Farmers spend more time at Conventions than they do plowing. — Will Rogers
Get a sales tax, small on necessities and large on luxuries; then a stiff inheritance tax on the fellow that saves and don't spend. That will get him either way. A tax paid on the day you buy is not as tough as asking you for it the next year when you are broke. — Will Rogers
It's great to be great, but its greater to be human. — Will Rogers
The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking. — Will Rogers
Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse. — Will Rogers
There is one guaranteed formula for failure, and that is to try to please everyone. — Will Rogers
What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds. — Will Rogers
You've got to be (an) optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one — Will Rogers
The best way out of a difficulty is through it. — Will Rogers
They used to take your horse and if they were caught they got hung for it. Now they take your car, and if they are caught it's a miracle. — Will Rogers
Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. — Will Rogers
One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide. — Will Rogers
Wish all the Farmers would move to town one year, that's the only way I know to clear the thing up. — Will Rogers
If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around. — Will Rogers
Always drink upstream from the herd. — Will Rogers
There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail. — Will Rogers
It looks to me like the candidates are trying to relieve the farmer of his vote, instead of his debts. — Will Rogers
Successful colleges will start laying plans for a new stadium; unsuccessful ones will start hunting a new coach. — Will Rogers
Coolidge has the best idea on this farm relief. He said, 'Farmers, you are in a hole. I can't help you, but I will get in with you.' He did. That made it fine so the farmers were satisfied as long as Coolidge was going to get in with them. — Will Rogers
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out? — Will Rogers
Money, horse racing and women: three things the boys just can't figure out. — Will Rogers
Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans — Will Rogers
A vision, without a plan, is just a hallucination. — Will Rogers
The crime of taxation is not in the taking it, it's in the way that it's spent. — Will Rogers
This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die. — Will Rogers
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. — Will Rogers
The government sent the Indians to Oklahoma. They had a treaty that said, 'You shall have this land as long as grass grows and water flows.' It was not only a good rhyme but looked like a good treaty, and it was till they struck oil. Then the Government took it away from us again. They said the treaty only refers to 'Water and Grass; it don't say anything about oil.' — Will Rogers
Now these fellows in Washington wouldn't be so serious and particular if they only had to vote on what they thought was good for the majority of the people in the U.S. That would be a cinch. But what makes it hard for them is every time a bill comes up they have things to decide that have nothing to do with the merit of the bill. The principal thing is of course: What will this do for me personally back home? — Will Rogers
The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. — Will Rogers
I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his money. — Will Rogers
An economist is a man that can tell you ... what can happen under any given condition, and his guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's too. — Will Rogers
The president says, 'There is lots of people worse off than the Farmers.' I don't know who it could be unless it is the fellow who holds the Mortgages on the Farms. — Will Rogers
We never will have any prosperity that is free from speculation till we pass a law that every time a broker or person sells something, he has got to have it sitting there in a bucket, or a bag, or a jug, or a cage, or a rat trap, or something, depending on what it is he is selling. We are continually buying something that we never get from a man that never had it. — Will Rogers
Wall Street is being investigated, but they are not asleep while it's being done. You see where the Senate took that tax off the sales of stocks, didn't you? Saved 'em $48,000,000. Now, why don't somebody investigate the Senate and see who got to them to get that tax removed? That would be a real investigation. — Will Rogers
Nothing makes a man, or a body of men, as mad as the truth. If there is no truth in it, they laugh it off. — Will Rogers
My father was one-eighth Cherokee indian and my mother was quarter-blood Cherokee. I never got far enough in arithmetic to figure out how much injun that made me, but there's nothing of which I am more proud than my Cherokee blood. — Will Rogers
Texas is a great state. It's the 'Old Man River' of states. No matter who runs it or what happens to it politically, it just keeps rolling along! — Will Rogers
Mothers are the only race of people that speak the same tongue. A mother in Manchuria could converse with a mother in Nebraska and never miss a word. — Will Rogers
It would drive a person crazy to dope out really what does divide the two parties. Prosperity don't divide the two parties, for under either administration the poor get poorer and the rich get richer. — Will Rogers
The theater is a great equalizer: it is the only place where the poor can look down on the rich. — Will Rogers
When a party can't think of anything else they always fall back on Lower Taxes. It has a magic sound to a voter, just like Fairyland is spoken of and dreamed of by all children. But no child has ever seen it; neither has any voter ever lived to see the day when his taxes were lowered. Presidents have been promising lower taxes since Washington crossed the Delaware by hand in a row boat. But our taxes have gotten bigger and their boats have gotten larger until now the President crosses the Delaware in his private yacht. — Will Rogers
Know what you're doing, love what you're doing, and believe in what you're doing. — Will Rogers
Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even. — Will Rogers
The trouble with Democrats is that they all want to run for President — Will Rogers
We have the best Congress that money can buy. — Will Rogers
Hundreds and hundreds of beautiful horses in the parade and a man without a silver saddle is a vagrant. — Will Rogers
We have killed more people celebrating our independence day than we lost fighting for it. — Will Rogers
I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him 'father.' — Will Rogers
I maintain that it should cost as much to get married as to get divorced. Make it look like marriage is worth as much as divorce, even if it ain't. — Will Rogers
Steak on the plate went up. Steak on the hoof went down. — Will Rogers
I'm not against (bull fighting). Some nations like to see blood, and some like to see their victims suffer from speculation ... They kill the bull very quick. Wall Street lets you live and suffer. — Will Rogers
Ability is all right but if it is not backed up by honesty and public confidence you will never be a successful person. The best a man can do is to arrive at the top in his chosen profession. I have always maintained that one profession is deserving of as much honor as another provided it is honorable. — Will Rogers
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. — Will Rogers
A woman can make a man feel older or younger than his years if she so chooses. Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men. Women were made with a sense of humor so they could love men instead of laughing at them. — Will Rogers
I love words but I don't like strange ones. You don't understand them and they don't understand you. Old words is like old friends, you know 'em the minute you see 'em. — Will Rogers
Politics is applesauce. — Will Rogers
When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur. — Will Rogers
Rotation of crops and less automobiles will relieve the farmers whenever they decide to try it. — Will Rogers
Get all the good laughs you can. — Will Rogers
There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators. — Will Rogers
Why don't somebody print the truth about our present economic situation? We spent six years of wild buying on credit - everything under the sun, whether we needed it or not - and now we are having to pay for 'em, and we are howling like a pet coon. — Will Rogers