Will Advise Quotes & Sayings

To share is just to align with a person. — Will Advise

Social networks are so full of wasted time - they could be compared to a waste disposal system. Flush, before you go and waste no time to go. — Will Advise

When I battle wits with Jarod Kintz I always feel like I need to take my brain out to give him a transplant. Bad part is we don't have any. — Will Advise

To truly accept a thing one must have no inner tension about it. — Will Advise

Meanings with no purpose are useful for meaningless debates on what the "meaner" meant. And that's what #politics is all about - misreading. — Will Advise

When one is in love one thinks only of one. — Will Advise

When Jarod Kintz gets married, I want to wear his grandpa to the ceremony, telling everyone we're Siamese twins from the future-past. Meow. — Will Advise

To love one must focus one's heart on another. — Will Advise

Starlight is best felt at noon... — Will Advise

Why work today? I'll take Tuesday on, just like I took Monday off. That's just the kind of dedicated worker I am. — Will Advise

If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. — Will Advise

The best Christmas present you can give to your dead grandfather is not showing up until Easter. And telling no one about it. Especially not yourself. — Will Advise

Minimalism is saying all by saying nothing. — Will Advise

Why just order a pizza, when you can get a restraining order for the delivery guys, make them come to you, sue them, and get all the profit? — Will Advise

Eating pizza is like having a little heaven in your nose. Wait, that's not what you eat pizza with. I always get it confused with pizza-pie. — Will Advise

Nothing brings home closer than going home... — Will Advise

Nostalgia is a longing for your home. — Will Advise

I sometimes go to a mythical place called "workplace", where the doable is always unpassable as possible, especially when it pisses you off. — Will Advise

The meaning of life is to make life be more. — Will Advise

Fluttershyes are like regular shyes, only shinier, and, apparently - also shyer. Whenever petted - they don't flutter, but run away instead. — Will Advise

I'm like my cat. I run around in circles in my apartment, because the big bad outside is just too big. And scary. And outside. How do stray cats deal with all the stress of having no protection from all the air that's going on around there, without anyone to guide and control it into timidity? — Will Advise

I am the most pious person in the room. Even though I have no pie - I have pizza, and what can be more virtuous than eating all by yourself? — Will Advise

The morning sky is a thought of the stars. — Will Advise

Rain is the purest of natural happenings. — Will Advise

Love is that which doesn't die. — Will Advise

Backpackers can pack much more meows than baggers. Beggars never feed stray cats as street cats are self-sustaining. — Will Advise

Nostalgia is missing what might come back. — Will Advise

A heart is all that didn't get removed. — Will Advise

Sometimes I drink coffee at 03:57am, only I call it beer, and it's really purple wine, disguised as clear distilled water, taken from my invisible car's radiator. She used to like radiator water too, so this also serves as a self-reminder to never share a glass with someone who has had hepatitis. Glasses are the main source of broken relationships. I mean glass hearts, as they only bend and change their shape under extremely high temperatures, which, unfortunately, are technically impossible to achieve in some places, like Soviet Russia, where nothing ever happens, because it doesn't really exist anymore. — Will Advise

The way to be invisible - is to truly be imaginary. But since you cannot imagine yourself, you have to clone your imagination into being an image of yourself. Imagine that. — Will Advise

Silence is the invisibility of talking. I'd take half an argument over half a silence any day. And I'd take peace and quiet over a full-blown argument any other day, unless it's Tuesday. — Will Advise

To fall in love twice, with the same person, you need to grow another heart. That's all I do in my secret underground laboratory at night... — Will Advise

Youir're doing this wrong. — Will Advise

On un-being in an imaginary real 'lationship:

When you relive, the past, unkind,
you cannot see - you're simply blind.
Emotions - ages take to settle,
and love is fiercer than a kettle.

And in the desert, late at night
Your friends, you get to bite
The laws - they force you to a fight
The stone to glass turns - what a sight

At times I sit, and sit, and think.
What could be better than a drink?
The answer, I think, is a link...
To just one woman - just her wink.

It hurts when it hurts,
but the aching will pass.
At some point, it deserts,
all the hearts, of bent glass. — Will Advise

The only way to efficiently battle evil is to copy enough to know how to counter each argument, yet not enough to believe all the bullshit. — Will Advise

Being skilled in Catsism is like being a ninja only deadlier and not so silent. The only bad thing is the sickening grammar you have to use. — Will Advise

A relationship is a process. If you have nothing to learn - you have a slave to teach. 's why schools are effective. — Will Advise

To find doesn't always require to search. — Will Advise

To feel is to go to the places you were. — Will Advise

To fix hearts one must know one's own. — Will Advise

If Jarod Kintz was a cat, he'd stalk people silently and deadly. Right now, all he does is bark at them for no good reason, like all the good people do. — Will Advise

And I will wait for Jarod to work for me. For free, cause if it's paid, it's work and not love, unless, of course he loves to work, in which case he'll surely love working for me, because I love people who love to do that to love to do that. — Will Advise

Love is always more than friendship. — Will Advise

To find true love simply one must just adore. — Will Advise

Life is always just to learn. — Will Advise

To have the wisdom is rarely achieved by seeking the knowledge. — Will Advise

To storm, a mind, it must be balanced,
by what can't be it must be challenged... — Will Advise

Home means always here... — Will Advise

One must be a lotus to emerge from mucky waters clean. — Will Advise

Nostalgia is the only acceptable form of sadness. — Will Advise

When one is just sad one should just be alone. — Will Advise

All my friends are bums. We all gather round our camp-fire (in a can) and sing songs of togetherness as we cuddle, to preserve our warmth... — Will Advise

I'll catch any rose in my vase-shaped heart, then process it through my vascular system, until there's nothing left. — Will Advise

What's writ is what's read, yet the meaning is gone, since context is what gives each quote its own home. — Will Advise

IQ's are a combination of eyes, and queues. Would you wait in line to see my goat show? Of course you wouldn't, because the line is invisible. — Will Advise

I think she's too single for me, and she thinks I'm with two other people. She also thinks she thinks, I think. — Will Advise

As an evil cultist, I make an excellent evil cultist. Only I'm stupid, and not evil. And I worship nothing, really. — Will Advise

I don't sleep. I just let my body lie itself into numbness and lie to myself that I can't hear, see, or feel anything. — Will Advise

To adore one has to yearn. — Will Advise

Always carry what is beautiful in your heart. — Will Advise

Once a thing is removed from your heart, a trace of it still remains. — Will Advise

The more you believe, the more you'll be leaving you, when what you believed turns out to be just lies. Or unjust lies. Or any lies, anyway. — Will Advise

The fastest way to go home is to be home... — Will Advise

Prosperity is always built on slave labor. Ask any Ameri-can't. Or Bulgari-can. Yes, we can, eat from a trash can... — Will Advise

If I did sales - my technique would be to hand-seal each deal with gourmet omelets, by Jarod Kintz's secret invisible recipe that I stole. — Will Advise

Love can be simply the absence of tension. — Will Advise

Love can be found mainly amongst stars — Will Advise

Once a cat loves you, it loves you till the end. — Will Advise

A kid is what you feed it,
plus from that what can be gathered. — Will Advise

I want to be the most unsold, and the most unsought-after author, after I stop selling my fake name anagrams on the internet. — Will Advise

I'd like to make a twosome with two handsome trees. Make that a threesome as I'd also include a bush in the package, to keep it low profile. — Will Advise

If it's public, it's not bonding. — Will Advise