Timur Vermes Quotes & Sayings
Enjoy the top 36 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Timur Vermes.
Famous Quotes By Timur Vermes
I expect you are wondering why I had not considered the possibility of unemployment. The reason being that my mind had a very different recollection of what unemployed men looked like. The jobless man I remembered from the past went out onto the street with a placard around his neck that read "Looking for any type of work". When he'd had enough of drifting fruitlessly around in this manner, he would remove the placard, grab a red flag handed to him by a loitering Bolshevist, and return to the street. — Timur Vermes
As I walked past I saw the extraordinary wreckage of beer-corpses. Somehow, despite all their economic mismanagement, these parties must have brought about an unexpected level of prosperity. Well, not having to wage war certainly saves the odd cost. Looking at the state of the Volk here, however, even the most deluded individual would have to admit than in 1942 or 1944, yes, even in the most harrowing nights of bombardment, the Germans were in better shape than on this September evening at the beginning of the third millennium. — Timur Vermes
Great art must not be sullied by politics. One would never, after all, seek to embellish the Mona Lisa, not even with a swastika. — Timur Vermes
In the ideal state a leader ensures that each man is effective in just the right capacity. — Timur Vermes
In my opinion, only bakers need to work early in the morning. And the Gestapo, of course - that is self-evident. To tear the Bolshevist rabble from their beds, so long as they are not Bolshevist bakers. For they would already be awake, and thus the Gestapo, for their part, would have to get up even earlier, and so on and so forth. — Timur Vermes
the moment a politician removes his shirt, his policies are dead in the water. All he will say is, "Look, my dear fellow countrymen, I have made the most extraordinary discovery: my policies look better without a shirt on. — Timur Vermes
What kinds of truths were being hidden? Were there lying turnips? Were there lying leeks? — Timur Vermes
To begin with I thought we were driving around in circles until I realised that Herr Starbuck owned dozens of coffee houses. — Timur Vermes
One must choose the apposite moment to crush one's political opponent. Not when he has nothing to say. But when he is attempting to say something. — Timur Vermes
He looked confused. "With your girlfriend, I mean. Who was to blame?"
"I don't know," I said. "Ultimately Churchill, I expect. — Timur Vermes
Such people never focus on their own goal, they always elect to pursue the goal which promises the most rapid success, and yet fail to recognise that this success will never be their own. — Timur Vermes
Hitler Youth Ronaldo! Which way to the street? — Timur Vermes
But with superior morale, with an unwavering, fanatical spirit, everything is possible! — Timur Vermes
This question was fired at me by one Ulf Bronner, an assistant director, in his mid-thirties perhaps, and a strikingly ill-dressed man. Still, he was not dressed as shabbily as the cameramen; through my recent work for and with broadcasting companies I have discovered that they are the scruffiest-looking individuals in any form of employment, outdone only by press photographers. I have no idea why it should be thus, but as far as I can make out press photographers seem to wear the ragged cast-offs of television cameramen. Perhaps they imagine that nobody will ever see them, because after all the camera is in front of their faces. Whenever I come across an unflattering picture of someone in a magazine - they may be grimacing or similar - I frequently wonder what the photographer must have looked like. This Bronner fellow was better dressed than that, but not much. — Timur Vermes
And stop smoking," I yelled after him. "You smell like cheap ham! — Timur Vermes
One must undertake everything with utter, fanatical determination. Or one will get nowhere. — Timur Vermes
The telephone, it struck me at that moment, is the wrong means of communication for people without ears. — Timur Vermes
I had preached again and again that one must never finish off the east for good, that a certain element of conflict must always remain, that a healthy Volk needs a war every twenty five years for the renewal of its blood. — Timur Vermes
It came as no surprise to learn of the success the Swede has recently enjoyed with his furniture. In that rotten state of his the Swede is permanently on the lookout for firewood, so it is no wonder that from time to time this might result in the odd table or chair. — Timur Vermes
Silence is often underestimated — Timur Vermes
The Reichsmark was no longer legal tender, even though others - probably some clueless dilettantes on the side of the victorious powers - had clearly adapted my plan to turn it into a European-wide currency. At any rate, transactions were now being carried out in an artificial currency called "euro," regarded, as one would expect, with a high level of mistrust. I could have told those responsible that this would be the case. — Timur Vermes
Wherever there is a large motorway enabling the transport of ton after ton of German goods, you will inevitably find a sweet little rabbit trembling by the roadside. — Timur Vermes
You can forget Stalin," he said, pledging his allegiance. "We're not the History Channel. — Timur Vermes
...and of course reconcilliation with England--the country that from the first should have been, given her parallel territorial ambitions, our closest ally--so that some day in the future we can act as one. It remains a mystery to me why that last relationship never worked out. How many more bombs would we have had to drop on their cities before they realized that we were their friends? — Timur Vermes
Had I known back then just how cheap it was to employ Poles, I might as well have leapfrogged their country. — Timur Vermes
In your heart of hearts, I believe all of you around this table know what this country needs. — Timur Vermes
In Berlin I have time and again met people who make no secret of the fact that their only reason for stirring at such an ungodly hour of the morning is so that they can leave the office earlier in the afternoon. I have suggested to several of these eight-hour logicians that they ought to start work at ten o'clock at night, thereby allowing them to leave at six in the morning and perhaps even arrive home before it is time to get up. — Timur Vermes
We all know, of course, what to make of our newspapers. The deaf man writes down what the blind man has told him, the village idiot edits it, and their colleagues in the other press houses copy it. Each story is doused afresh with the same stagnant infusion of lies, so that the "splendid" brew can then be served up to a clueless Volk. — Timur Vermes
If you permit all and sundry to join your club then membership ceases to be anything special. Then anybody seeking to gain advantage has to start a new club within the club. — Timur Vermes
Someone with whom I was unacquainted had turned to me with a military problem, and as I was currently without a state to govern I decided to lend my comrade my support. Thus I spent the following three and a half hours engaged in a naval exercise by the name of "Minesweeper. — Timur Vermes
There are always advantages to having reached a certain time in one's life. I am most pleased that I did not come to politics until I was thirty, an age when a man finds his peace physically and sexually, and thus can focus all his energies on his actual goals, without his time and steel forever being purloined by the impulses of physical love. — Timur Vermes
One never knows when and why such people start talking; frequently they only open their mouths because they realize they haven't said anything yet, or because they're worried that if they continue to remain silent they will be regarded as insignificant. — Timur Vermes
As always when people are overtaxed creatively, they come up with the most dubious suggestions. — Timur Vermes