Susan Juby Quotes & Sayings

It's funny how you can be all alone and in danger and then a minute later feel totally safe, like you've never been lonely before. — Susan Juby

When you tell a story, you shape the truth. — Susan Juby

It seemed a little risky, enjoying something so ... fun, but I couldn't help it. — Susan Juby

It's not a good idea to let on about extreme happy feelings. People get ideas. — Susan Juby

Maybe careers aren't something you can really plan for. They just sort of happen, like brown eyes or flat feet. I took one of those career aptitude tests last year, and it showed that I should be a flight attendant or a seamstress. Not a fashion designer or anything, mind you, but a sweatshop worker. Apparently stewardesses and sweatshop workers and I enjoy a lot of the same interests and activities. — Susan Juby

I am not a people person. — Susan Juby

Like the twig furniture she made, thinking it was going to make us rich, only she's shit with a hammer and nails and the stuff ended up being deadly. You were practically begging for a colonoscopy if you sat on it. — Susan Juby

Wetting one's pants is no kind of self-esteem builder. — Susan Juby

Earl had let Bertie off the porch for some fresh grass and I didn't want Dr. Eustace to see her. She still looked as though we'd put Hannibal Lecter in charge of her shearing and had hired the special effects team from Night of the Living Dead to bandage her. — Susan Juby

Bobby just stared at me. There was already crumbs in his mustache and it was barely seven in the morning. — Susan Juby

Not being a big one for having friends, I had no idea what I was going to do with Aubrey, you know, to entertain him. — Susan Juby

It was beginning to occur to me that I was a little too in love with stereotypes and preconceptions. — Susan Juby

She was a woman in her thirties with sun-damaged skin and an opt-out approach to fashion. — Susan Juby

Much as I usually dislike nice, positive people, I have to admit that Margaret isn't bad. — Susan Juby

Measuring someone is borderline invasive. You have to touch them and record their physical presence in the world. It's a pretty specific way to understand someone. — Susan Juby

I had this vision of the two of us holding hands or getting into some light petting behind shower curtains or up in the fencing aisle or some shit. — Susan Juby

Maybe it's an artistic genius thing. People who go so deep inside themselves, especially when they're working, that they seem like sleepwalkers when they emerge. Traces of unconsciousness seem to cling to them, lending them an otherworldly sheen. — Susan Juby

As you know, there are several classes of truth. There are the truths that pour out on confessional blogs and YouTube channels. There are the supposed truths exposed in gossip magazines and on reality television, which everyone knows are just lies in truth clothing. Then there are the truths that show themselves only under ideal circumstances: like when you are talking deep into the night with a friend and you tell each other things you would never say if your defenses weren't broken down by salty snacks, sugary beverages, darkness, and a flood of words. There are the truths found in books or films when some writer puts exactly the right words together and it's like their pen turned sword and pierced you right through the heart. Truths like those are rare and getting rarer. — Susan Juby

She is, like anyone worth knowing, many things at once. — Susan Juby

I haven't been that happy since I became conscious for the first time, you know, when I became aware of myself and got so uncomfortable and everything. — Susan Juby

It must be amazing to end each day consumed with something other than disappointment at yourself and the world. — Susan Juby

Good luck with that, I said. Because seriously. The fuck? Strawberry social? Did I somehow move onto the set of the remake of Little House on the Prairie? — Susan Juby

I knew he'd get left behind when the Rapture came due to his swearing and probably also for having long hair and tight pants. — Susan Juby

This bastard was in a self-help program? For what? Square-jawed, cleft-chin sufferers? Handsome Bastards Anonymous? — Susan Juby

Fucking Hallmark never wrote anything for how I felt then. When Metallica and the rest of the metal community pitched in to pay for Acrassicauda, the Iraqi heavy metal band, to move to the US is the only thing that comes close. And maybe the late-breaking success of Anvil. I had a toasty heart, especially after I got called back to pick up first prize for Miss Frizz. Ah, never mind. You know what I'm saying. — Susan Juby

There is nothing to be gained by trying to change reality. I know this. Completely. And yet. And. Yet. — Susan Juby

I'm already in the late stages of advanced detachment where my mother is concerned. With a little practice I could feel that way about everyone. — Susan Juby

My heart kind of hurt when I looked at her. Not because I was in love, but because I could tell from looking at her that she didn't hate herself. Not only didn't she seem to hate herself, she barely seemed to think about herself. How fucking glorious must that be? — Susan Juby

I will pretend I do not have those feelings and eventually they will die from neglect. — Susan Juby

When I write my book I'm going to tell people that if they happen to forget their wide-mouth jar, they should pee far enough away from their position so it doesn't ruin their hiding spot. — Susan Juby

It's been a pretty tough day," he said. "No sense making it worse with a salad. — Susan Juby

The design is about expectations. Everybody wants something from beautiful people. From beautiful women, especially. But I think they're most stunning when they refuse to give anyone anything. — Susan Juby

I'm starting to think that pure truth is impossible, and that all narrators and all people are at least a little unreliable. — Susan Juby

There are truths found in books or films when some writer puts exactly the right words together and it's like their pen turned sword and pierced you right through the heart. — Susan Juby

I want to ask someone the truth, I think truth is what has been missing in my life. Well, it's one of the things that has been missing, along with a sense of purpose and positive self-esteem. — Susan Juby

Got anything to eat?" I asked.

"You know where the gas station is," said my incredibly nurturing and maternal mother. — Susan Juby

My mom made the trays out of kits she bought at Michaels. She's crackled the shit out of them so they look like they're covered in diseased rhino skins. — Susan Juby

The pieces don't fit perfectly together and don't tell the whole story. Only the viewer can say if I succeeded. — Susan Juby

I hate the way kids want all the attention. It's like I'm not even there when there's a baby in the room. — Susan Juby

Enthusiasm isn't really my thing. — Susan Juby

When we reached the lobby outside the office, moving like a pair of power walkers
no running in the halls of Green Pastures because there was too much chance of knocking over one of the many ethereal, artistic types wandering around in hip glasses with the wrong prescription ... (39) — Susan Juby

Life is so full of portents and signs and symbols that it's a wonder not everyone is a writer. — Susan Juby

If you are alive and conscious, you are probably codependent. — Susan Juby

Actual artists, and despite their reputation for chaos, most artists keep their supplies and work spaces scrupulously tidy. It's the personal lives that get messy. Dusk, — Susan Juby

If you rock the boat in a fragile family, the concern is that everyone will drown. Hmmm, — Susan Juby

In spite of the terrible pain I was in, I tried to help name the hot sauces. For the allegedly mild one, which tasted like nuclear fall-out, I suggested Hot as Fuck. For the medium one, which tasted like seven lit cigarettes applied firmly to the tongue, I suggested You'd Have to Be an Idiot to Try This, and for the Scorpion sauce, which was so hot I think it gave me permanent nerve damage, I suggested Lawsuit Followed by Complete Financial Collapse.

She ignored all my suggestions... — Susan Juby

Our families are often the thing that keep us stuck, — Susan Juby

I may never recover. It was like an out-of-body experience. I'm an alien trying on human rituals. — Susan Juby

Sylvia, on the other hand, looks like she eats stress as an amuse-bouche and turns problems into cocktails. — Susan Juby

Sherman: You are the worst.
Rick: You taught me everything I know. — Susan Juby

She's extremely un-suburban and charismatic and has this way of making you feel you're the only thing standing between her and death due to boredom. — Susan Juby

It's important to give people the benefit of the doubt even if they don't deserve it. — Susan Juby

In the future if my mother tries to shame me with her disapproval, I will let her know in no uncertain terms that I reject her and all of her codependent baggage. I am Codependent No More. — Susan Juby

I debated whether to tell them I had long since abandoned my writing career and moved into radishes and fraud, but decided the timing was wrong. — Susan Juby

My life is an issue in my life. — Susan Juby

I believe the technical term is "space cadet." But she is the kind of space cadet many people aspire to be. My sister is fully alive to each moment and each observation. — Susan Juby

If the facts don't fit your theory, just find some new facts. — Susan Juby

I've always wanted to be self-sustaining and able to grow my own food. All I lack is land and skill. — Susan Juby

I think MacGregor might be a genius. Anyone so oblivious to the horror of the human world must be. — Susan Juby

Well, at least I can spare myself the ordeal of a whole battery of personality tests. My personality is poor; that much is clear. — Susan Juby

I don't care about this stuff. I'm not even sure I'm a girl. I'm an eye in the sky. I am detached. I'm an idiot. — Susan Juby

People never like to talk about their slower relatives. I got a cousin, twice removed, got webs between his toes, ain't said one word his whole life. You never hear about him in the family newsletter that goes around every Christmas. Hell, nobody mentions me, either, if it comes to that. Families is funny about who they advertise. — Susan Juby

All good things are possible if you try hard and stay stylish. — Susan Juby

When Tyler emerged from Pod 3, he looked like he always does
distracted and handsome with a double helping of hot-artist sauce (73). — Susan Juby

I don't do effortless myself, but I like it in other people. — Susan Juby

I think we learn the truth about ourselves by telling it to someone else. — Susan Juby

I am strong. And I am stylish beyond all measure.

Allow me to leave you with a final thought:
So are you.

With love,
Charlie Dean. — Susan Juby

We got up and smiled at each other. His eyes were lovely, and I was reminded of a line in a book I read once, that God exists in the spaces between people. — Susan Juby

To discuss schoolwork voluntarily would violate the agreement I have with my parents that I will be the biggest disappointment who ever lived. — Susan Juby

The old man kept going about how he could never keep her home, how she loved to roam. He said she should have been a sheep in the foothills of Scotland. Now if that wasn't a load of shit I don't know what is. I'll tell you why that sheep roamed. The fences around here was held up with goddamn binder twine and half-assed prayers. That's why. — Susan Juby

Can you dance?
Of course, I said, even though I can't really. I think enthusiasm counts for a lot in dancing and in life. — Susan Juby

If you start looking up, they start asking questions. — Susan Juby