Sabaa Tahir Quotes & Sayings

The rest is just wishes and hope, the most fragile of things. — Sabaa Tahir

Where there is life, Nan used to say, there is hope. — Sabaa Tahir

I should just build a bleeding house here," I mutter as I pick myself up off the snow-covered ground. "Maybe get a few chickens. Plant a garden. — Sabaa Tahir

All evil here. Monsters. Little monsters and then big ones. — Sabaa Tahir

I never feared the night, not even as a child, but Blackcliff's night is different, heavy with a silence that makes you look over your shoulder, a silence that feels like a living thing. — Sabaa Tahir

Fight back, Laia. For Darin. For Izzi. For every Scholar this beast has abused. Fight. A scream bursts from me, and I claw at Marcus's face, but a punch to my stomach takes the wind out of my lungs. I double over, retching, and his knee comer up into my forehead. The hallway spins, and I drop to my knees. Then I hear him laughting, a sadistic chuckle that stokes my defiance.

Sluggishly, I throw myself at his legs. It won't be like before, like during the raid when I let that Mask drag me about my own house like some dead thing.

This time, I'll fight. Tooth and nail, I'll fight. — Sabaa Tahir

I will tell you the same thing I tell every slave. The resistance has tried to penetrate this school countless times. I have discovered it every time. if you are working with the resistance, if you contact them, if you think of contacting them, I will know and i will destroy you. — Sabaa Tahir

This is a bad idea," he murmurs. We're so close that I can see a long eyelash that's landed on his cheek. I can see the hints of blue in his hair. "Then why aren't you stopping it?" "Because I'm a fool." We breathe each other's breath, and as his body relaxes, as his hands finally slide around my back, I close my eyes. Then — Sabaa Tahir

I don't need to believe in the supernatural, not when there's worse that roams the night. — Sabaa Tahir

Just because he's a good leader doesn't mean he's a good person. — Sabaa Tahir

You are full, Laia. Full of life and dark and strength and spirit. You are in our dreams. You will burn, for you are an ember in the ashes. — Sabaa Tahir

Failure doesn't define you. It's what you do after you fail that determines whether you are a leader or a waste of perfectly good air. — Sabaa Tahir

It's a trick question, Aquilla. A Mask is not made. She is remade. First she is destroyed. Stripped down to the trembling child that lives at her core. It doesn't matter how strong she thinks she is. Blackcliff diminishes, humiliates, and humbles her." "But if she survives, she is reborn. She rises from the shadow world of failure and despair so that she might become as fearful as that which destroyed her. So that she might know darkness and use it as her scim and shield in her mission to serve the Empire. — Sabaa Tahir

So my choices are to stay and be evil or to run and be evil. Wonderful. — Sabaa Tahir

The thought appears in my head, but I hardly know what I means. — Sabaa Tahir

You're not like the others. You killed to save. You put others first. — Sabaa Tahir

You - you were like me. You were a child. A normal child. And that was taken from you."

"Does that bother you?"

"Well, it certainly makes you harder to hate. — Sabaa Tahir

She takes my arm like an old friend would. "Welcome to the Waiting Place, the realm of ghosts. I am the Soul Catcher, and I am here to help you cross to the other side. — Sabaa Tahir

I throw her over my shoulder — Sabaa Tahir

After I pull my eyes away from her, I realize that I'm not the only one dumbstruck. Many of the young men around me sneak glances at her. She doesn't seem to notice, which, of course, makes her all the more intriguing. — Sabaa Tahir

When Hel and I were Fivers, a Barbarian raiding party took us prisoner. I was trussed like a festival-day goat, but they tied Helene's hands in front of her with twine and propped her on the back of a pony, assuming she was harmless. That night, she used the twine to garrote three of our jailers and broke the necks of the other three with her bare hands.
"They always underestimate me," she said afterward, sounding puzzled. — Sabaa Tahir

Exhaustion is temporary. Pain is temporary. But Helene dying because I didn't find a way to get her back on time - that's permanent. — Sabaa Tahir

You are my priest. You are my prayer. You are my release. — Sabaa Tahir

She makes for the closest training building, and I take my time following, watching the way she moves: angry, favoring her right leg, must have bruised the left in practice, keeps clenching that right fist - probably because she wants to punch me with it. — Sabaa Tahir

The best lies come from the truth. — Sabaa Tahir

She's still clinging to the side of her mountain, just like I'm still wandering lost in my battlefield. — Sabaa Tahir

Children are born to break their mothers' hearts, my boy. — Sabaa Tahir

All the beauty of the stars means nothing when life here on earth is so ugly. — Sabaa Tahir

For tonight, maybe we can just be Laia and Elias. — Sabaa Tahir

By the time we reach the stretch of dunes that lead to Nur, the moon is high, the galaxy a blaze of silver above. But we are all exhausted from fighting the wind. Izzi's walk has deteriorated to a stumble, and both Keenan and I pant in tiredness. Even Elias struggles, stopping short enough times that I begin to worry for him. "I — Sabaa Tahir

He melts into the crowd, and I hurry back toward Blackcliff. If Izzi knows of an entrance, I still have time to see it for myself and head back here to pass along the information. The Resistance can get Darin out, and I'll be done with all of this. No more scars or whippings. No more terror and fear. And maybe, a quiet part of me whispers, I'll get more than just a few moments with Keenan. I — Sabaa Tahir

Elias speeds his gait, and Keenan drops back, taking a position far enough behind me that I think it best to leave him be. I catch up with Izzi, and she leans toward me. "They've avoided ripping each other's faces off," she says. "That's a start, right?" I choke back a laugh. "How long until they kill each other, d'you think? And who strikes first?" "Two days before all-out war," Izzi says. "My money's on Keenan striking first. He's got a temper, that one. But Elias will win, being a Mask and all. Though" - she tilts her head - "he doesn't look so good, Laia." Izzi — Sabaa Tahir

So long as you fight the darkness, you stand in the light. — Sabaa Tahir

I take a breath. Words seem suddenly trite and useless, so I step forward and grab Elias's hands, remembering Pop. Touch heals, Laia. I hold fast to him, trying to put everything I feel into that touch. I hope your Tribe is all right. I hope they survive the Martials. I'm truly, truly sorry. It's not enough. But it's all I have. After a moment, Elias lets out a breath and leans his forehead against mine. "Tell me what you told me that night in my room at Blackcliff," he murmurs. "What your Nan used to say to you." "As long as there is life" - I can hear Nan's warm voice as I say it - "there is hope." Elias lifts his head and looks down at me, the coolness in his eyes replaced by that raw, unquenchable fire. I forget to breathe. "Don't you forget it," he says. "Ever." I nod. The minutes pass, and neither of us pull away, instead finding solace in the coolness of the night and the quiet company of the stars. — Sabaa Tahir

The voice is deep and soft, not a sound so much as a feeling. It is storm and wind and leaves twisting in the night. It is roots sucking deep at the earth, and the pale, sightless creatures that live below the ground. But there's something wrong with this voice, something diseased at its core. — Sabaa Tahir

So long as you fight in the darkness, you stand in the light. — Sabaa Tahir

A bloody gloaming then, and bloodier still as twilight fades to dawn. — Sabaa Tahir

Even knowing all of that, if I head to Kauf alone, I can make it in half the time that it would take the wagons. I don't wish to leave Laia - I will feel the absence of her voice, her face, every day. I already know it. But if I can make it to the prison in a month, I'll have enough time before Rathana to break Darin out. The Tellis extract will keep the seizures at bay until the wagons get close to the prison. I will see Laia again. I rise, coil my bedroll, and make for Afya's wagon. When I knock on the back door, it takes her only a moment to answer, despite it being the dead of night. She — Sabaa Tahir

Now it hits me. This is it. This is the end. Martial tradition says a soldier who dies well dances among the stars, battling foes for all eternity. Is that what awaits me? Or will I slip into endless darkness, unbroken and quiet? — Sabaa Tahir

Secrets are a snake's way of doing business." "And snakes survive, — Sabaa Tahir

Part of me wants to ask him if I have made the right decision. After so many mistakes, I yearn for the reassurance that I haven't ruined everything yet again. He will say yes, of course. He will comfort me and tell me this is the best way. But doing the right thing now does not undo every mistake I have already made. So I do not ask. I simply nod and follow as he leads the way. Because after all that has happened, I do not deserve comfort. — Sabaa Tahir

So many bleeding, stupid questions. Do girls think like this all the time? No wonder they're so confusing. — Sabaa Tahir

But you, Helene Aquilla, are no swift-burning spark. You are a torch against the night - if you dare to let yourself burn. — Sabaa Tahir

Life is hard enough without having to avoid entire rooms in my own head. — Sabaa Tahir

Laia and Helene: They're so different. I like that Laia says things I don't expect, that she speaks almost formally, as if she's telling a story. I like that she defied my mother to go to the Moon Festival, whereas Helene always obeys the Commandant. Laia is the wild dance of a Tribal campfire, while Helene is the cold blue of an alchemist's flame.

But why am I even comparing them? I've know Laia a few days and Helene all my life. Helene's no passing attraction. She's family. More than that. She's part of me. — Sabaa Tahir

My brother is still fighting, and his screams slice right through me. I know then that I will hear them over and over again, echoing in every hour of every day until I am dead or I make it right. I know it. — Sabaa Tahir

Life is made of so many moments that mean nothing. Then one day, a single moment comes along to define every second that comes after. Such moments are tests of courage, of strength. — Sabaa Tahir

So you've made a few bad decisions. So have I. So has Elias. So has everyone attempting to do something difficult. That doesn't mean that you give up, you fool. Do you understand? — Sabaa Tahir

You're sure this is what you want?" I search her eyes for doubt, fear, uncertainty, but all I see is that fire. Ten hells
"I'm sure"
"Then I'll find a way — Sabaa Tahir

Don't look so worried. Most successful missions are just a series of barely averted disasters. — Sabaa Tahir

Elias and I are finished. Now, there is only death. — Sabaa Tahir

His eyes are unfathomably sad as he lifts my chin. "Most people," Cain says, "are nothing but glimmers in the great darkness of time. But you, Helene Aquilla, are no swift-burning spark. You are a torch against the night - if you dare to let yourself burn." "Just — Sabaa Tahir

Lover?" The boy lifts an eyebrow suggestively. My face grows hot. "He's my - my friend." "Then why worry?" The boy flashes a grin tinged with wickedness, and I find myself smiling in return. I glance over my shoulder at Izzi, talking to an earnest-looking Scholar. She laughs at something he says, her hands, for once, not straying to her eyepatch. When she catches me watching, she looks between the Tribal boy and me and waggles her eyebrows. My face goes hot again. One dance can't hurt; we can leave after. The — Sabaa Tahir

Shadows will bloom in your heart, and you will become everything you hate. — Sabaa Tahir

I'd say it's impossible, but the Commandant trained the word out of me. — Sabaa Tahir

If your sins were blood, child, you would drown in a river of your own making. — Sabaa Tahir

Seeing the enemy as human. A general's ultimate nightmare. — Sabaa Tahir

She chuckles again. "Because sane plans never work, girl," she says. "Only the mad ones do. — Sabaa Tahir

The stars are so different when you're free. — Sabaa Tahir

But a part of me wants to fling the cloak off and put Elias's back on. I know I'm acting the fool, but somehow Elias's cloak made me feel good. Perhaps because more than reminding me of him, it reminded me of who I was around him. Braver. Stronger. Flawed, certainly, but unafraid. I miss that girl. That Laia. That version of myself that burned brightest when Elias Veturius was near. The Laia who made mistakes. The Laia whose mistakes led to needless death. How could I forget? I thank Keenan quietly and stuff the old cloak in my bag. Then I pull the new one closer and tell myself that it's warmer. — Sabaa Tahir

Disappear! I scream the word in my mind, queen of the desolate landscape therein, ordering her ragged troops to a last stand. — Sabaa Tahir

Laia is the wild dance of a Tribal campfire, while Helene is the cold blue of an alchemist's flame. — Sabaa Tahir

Keenan. Keenan. Keenan. My mind is filled with him. He has guided me, fought for me, stayed with me. And in doing so, his aloofness has given way to a potent, unspoken love I feel whenever he looks at me. I silence the voice within and take his hand. Every other thought grows distant as calm settles over me, a peace I haven't felt in months. Without looking away from him, I guide his fingers to the buttons of my shirt, pulling open one, then another, leaning forward as I do so. "No," I whisper against his ear. "I don't want you to stop. — Sabaa Tahir

You are an ember in the ashes, Elias Veturius. You will spark and burn, ravage and destroy. You cannot change it. You cannot stop it. — Sabaa Tahir

Even here, the soldiers speak of the hunt for the Empire's greatest traitor. And they speak of the girl you travel with: Laia of Serra. And - and the Artist . . . sometimes in his nightmares, he speaks too." "What does he say?" "Her name," Tas whispers. "Laia. He cries out her name - and he tells her to run. — Sabaa Tahir

She has no idea how pretty she is - or what kind of problems her beauty will cause for her at a place like Blackcliff. The wind pulls at her hair again, and I catch her scent - like fruit and sugar. — Sabaa Tahir

Few people want witnesses to their pain, and grief is the worst pain of all. — Sabaa Tahir

There will be so much more in between. So much uncertainty. I don't know if we'll survive the catacombs, let alone the rest of it. But it doesn't matter. For now, these steps are enough. These first few precious steps into darkness. Into the unknown. Into freedom. — Sabaa Tahir

Don't lock yourself away from those who care about you because you think you'll hurt them or they'll hurt you. What point is there in being human if you don't let yourself feel anything? — Sabaa Tahir

For Kashi,
who taught me that my spirit
is stronger than my fear — Sabaa Tahir

It will get better. You'll never forget them, not even after years. But one day, you'll go a whole minute without feeling the pain. Then an hour. A day. That's all you can ask for, really." His voice drops. "You'll heal, I promise. — Sabaa Tahir

I am alone, and I am a Mask. — Sabaa Tahir

Safety is an illusion never to trust. — Sabaa Tahir

I search the chaos - through a knot of Resistance fighters descending on a pair of legionnaires, past a Mask fighting off ten rebels at once, to the rubble of the tunnel, where my mother stands. An old Scholar slave trying to escape the havoc makes the mistake of crossing her path. She plunges her scim into his heart with a casual brutality. When she yanks the blade out, she doesn't look at the slave. Instead, she stares at me. As if we are connected, as if she knows my every thought, her gaze slices across the square. She smiles. — Sabaa Tahir

Nan always said that as long as there is life, there is hope. — Sabaa Tahir

There are two kinds of guilt. The kind that's a burden and the kind that gives you purpose. Let your guilt be your fuel. Let it remind you of who you want to be. Draw a line in your mind. Never cross it again. You have a soul. It's damaged but it's there. Don't let them take it from you. — Sabaa Tahir

Your emotions make you human. Even the unpleasant ones have a purpose. Don't lock them away. If you ignore them, they just get louder and angrier. — Sabaa Tahir

This is what it means to have faith, to believe in something greater than yourself." A — Sabaa Tahir

I recognize the smell - his smell - spice and rain. — Sabaa Tahir

Laia. The Scholar girl. Another ember waiting to burn the world down,' she says. 'Will you hurt her too? — Sabaa Tahir

I know what it is to lose those you love. I taught myself not to feel anything at all. For so long that it wasn't until I met you that — Sabaa Tahir

Who is my brother now? When did he transform from the boy who made me too-sweet tea to a man with secrets too heavy to share with his little sister? — Sabaa Tahir

Once, I'd have wanted that. I'd have wanted someone to tell me what to do, to fix everything. Once, I'd have wanted to be saved. — Sabaa Tahir

Elias and Laia are each other's countermelodies. I am just a dissonant note. — Sabaa Tahir

But you are not finished. You are my masterpiece, Helene Aquilla, but I have just begun. If you survive, you shall be a force to be reckoned with in this world. But first you will be unmade. First, you will be broken. — Sabaa Tahir

I do not doubt, I do not hesitate. I am the Lioness's daughter, and I have the Lioness's strength. — Sabaa Tahir

Veturius is a Mask like the rest of us, yes. Bold, brave, strong, swift. But those were afterthoughts for him. Elias sees people as they should be, not as they are. He laughs at himself. He gives of himself - in everything he does. [...] He's the things that I can't be. He's good. — Sabaa Tahir

Perhaps I have become so accustomed to the burden of secrets that I do not notice their weight until I am free of it. — Sabaa Tahir

Too much fear and you're paralyzed. Too little fear and you're arrogant. — Sabaa Tahir

your sins were blood, child, you would drown in a river of your own making." Elias — Sabaa Tahir

Draw a line in your mind. Never cross it again. You have a soul. It's damaged, but it's there. Don't let them take it from you, Elias. — Sabaa Tahir

Fear is only your enemy if you allow it to be. — Sabaa Tahir

A shadow fills the space where he stood, familiar and utterly changed at the same time. "E-Elias?" "I'm here." He hauls me to my feet. He is lean as a rail, and his eyes appear to almost glow in the thickening smoke. "Your brother is here. Tas is here. We're alive. We're all right. And that was beautifully done." He nods to the soldier, who has ripped the dagger out of his thigh and is now crawling away. "He'll be limping for months." I — Sabaa Tahir

I'd rather die than live with no mercy, no honor, no soul. — Sabaa Tahir

You will be chained to the darkness within yourself as surely as if chained to the walls of a prison cell. — Sabaa Tahir

I'm too hot to care. — Sabaa Tahir

Mercy is weakness. Offer it to your enemies and you might as well fall upon your own sword. — Sabaa Tahir

There is more to this life than love, Helene Aquilla. There is duty. Empire. Family. Gens. The men you lead. The promises you make. — Sabaa Tahir

Above, the heavens glow, the sky pale with starlight. Some long-buried part of me understands that this is beauty, but I am unable to wonder at it, the way I did when I was a boy. Back then, I clambered up spiky Jack trees to get closer to the stars, sure that a few feet of height would help me see them better. Back then, my world had been sand and sky and the love of Tribe Saif, who saved me from exposure. Back then, everything was different. — Sabaa Tahir

Perhaps grief is like battle: After experiencing enough of it, your body's instincts take over. When you see it closing in like a Martial death squad, you harden your insides. You prepare for the agony of a shredded heart. And when it hits, it hurts, but not as badly, because you have locked away your weakness, and all that's left is anger and strength. — Sabaa Tahir