Rob Thurman Quotes & Sayings

Niko caught my hand and slapped it lightly down on the bar. "Pistol whipping elderly women isn't precisely our mission statement, Cal."
I hadn't been going to pistol-whip her. Yell at her a little more, then pick her up and toss her out into the street. Some risk of a broken hip there, but that wasn't pistol-whipping ... unless she tried to come back in. — Rob Thurman

If there is no trust, there is nothing. Trust is all. — Rob Thurman

As I stood, I took in a last breath of spring-scented air, listened to the birdsong, and then saw a member of wildlife the conservationists hadn't planned on reviving in this place. A perv in a white shirt and polyester pants. A standard hide-in-the-bushes-and-whack-it perv. Fat and balding, it was as appealing as watching a giant marshmallow go at it. — Rob Thurman

Every inner touch, every one of its fingerprints on my brain, burned like acid. It shredded the walls of my soul like tissue paper, it clawed its way into my very center, I couldn't tell anymore where it began and I ended. It poured into me like a river into the sea, mixing, melding, until we were one. One. For better or worse. Until death do us part. — Rob Thurman

Look at the ex-demon with his big boy pants on now. — Rob Thurman

You're so very good at that. The temper, the scowl. You must drink shots of testosterone in your morning coffee. — Rob Thurman

Niko was a man of few words and flying, sugary snacks. I like that in a human. ~Catcher — Rob Thurman

You're the little spoon, aren't you? — Rob Thurman

They don't have to choose either/or. They can have their cake and mutilate it too. — Rob Thurman

He touched my little brother - I stopped his heart.
It was a fair trade. — Rob Thurman

Nice guy. Salt of the earth. The stick up his ass is just a bonus." "Let us not make light of the rectally challenged." Niko disposed of the mug with disdain, wiping his hand thoroughly on a towel afterward. "The condition is no doubt congenital. Completely beyond his control. — Rob Thurman

What're you still doing up? You know all good little ninjas should be in bed, visions of homicidal sugarplums dancing in their heads. — Rob Thurman

The bus is full of German tourists in shorts so short that they required a Brazilian wax for the men as well as the women. There had been thighs as bountiful as baking bread, as wobbly as Jello, and as pitted as the surface of the moon. — Rob Thurman

I need it all: in-depth characterization, fantastic/warped world building, a plot that could out-race Secretariat, and a 'voice.' I need to hear a uniqueness in the author's voice. — Rob Thurman

Spartacus," I called, "how's it hanging?" Probably not too well. Once you're dead, had your organs removed, and are resurrected as an undead mummified cat, your testicles probably looked like old raisins that had rolled under the couch. Raisins didn't tend to ... hang. — Rob Thurman

No, you're not like me. You're better. A better person, a better goddamn everything. Now, eat your breakfast. And if you open your mouth to say you aren't everything I know you are, I'll stuff that bagel in it. Plain. Without cream cheese.
Healthy food
the ultimate threat. — Rob Thurman

He grabbed the legs and addressed their owner ... current owner anyway. "Hold still. I'll get you out in a second." Then he hissed at me "Trash goes in the garbage can, Zeke, not people."
It was clear to me this guy was trash, but Griffin probably wanted to sort him into paper, plastic, glass, and human waste of space. See? Psychotic. — Rob Thurman

I have people in my life, of course. Some write; some don't. Some read; some don't. Some stare vacantly into space when I talk the geeky talk and walk the geeky walk, but they make killer chocolate chip pancakes and so all is forgiven. — Rob Thurman

I raised another shot. That sound you hear is the heads of moral conservatives spontaneously exploding in the distance. — Rob Thurman

She was more of a marble statue under a cascade of moonlight, smelling like flowers and ivy - the glory of a weeping graveyard angel. — Rob Thurman

Told me that when you bury emotions like that, you're only pissing them off ... making them stronger, because you're burying them alive. They don't like that, and one day they'll make sure that you don't like it either. — Rob Thurman

It's true. Goodfellow is monogamous. he's become a freak. A pervert. Depravity on the cloven hoof."
"Or his balls fell off," suggested another puck who came to the bar. "Or his dick. Anyone who would hang out with Bacchus is bound to get a catastrophic genital rotting illness at some point. — Rob Thurman

Mama said there was always a catastrophe coming. Someone's world was always coming to an end. It wasn't our worry to change every ending, only the endings we could — Rob Thurman

How do you know I have a brother?" Cal wasn't playing anymore. The suspicion was real and I was already moving, the switchblade hidden in my hand.
"You always do. Or a cousin or a best friend bonded by blood. Something of thet dramatic overwrought nature. Someone who is wirtually attached to you at the hip. Let me speak to him. He's invariably more reasonable. — Rob Thurman

At least that's what his note said, along with a scathing reminder that dishes didn't wash themselves and the fungus in the bathroom was one day away from evolving into sentient life. I folded the note into an airplane and sailed it across the room. It ended up perched jauntily on top of the ancient television. It looked good there and I left it as a tribute to freedom-loving fungi everywhere. — Rob Thurman

Me? I was lucky to get a grunt from the local pizza delivery girl. And I had nice eyes too, not to mention a killer ass. There truly was no justice in the world. — Rob Thurman

Pooh hater,' I muttered under my breath.
'Winnie-the-Pooh was not a koala
why am I even arguing about this with you? — Rob Thurman

Memories - you can't escape them, but you can't let them rule you either. — Rob Thurman

Fall leaves are brilliant with gold and red. You can cup them in your hand and wonder at them, be amazed at their uniqueness and glory. But eventually they are gone, brown, crumbling, scattered on the wind. But the tree remains. The tree is what is important. The tree lives on. That was a difficult knowledge to bear, and an even more difficult life to live. Of course, being the leaf wasn't exactly desirable either. — Rob Thurman

It is difficult to threaten someone who doesn't have the necessary attention span to register fear. — Rob Thurman

Don't accept what's out there because that is all that's out there. Look for the new and unusual. Seek out what you genuinely want to read and don't settle. — Rob Thurman

Luckily enough, we do have an entire bottle of wheatgrass juice." "Your sense of humor isn't all that it could be, you know that?" Goodfellow took the glass and stared into it morosely. He took a sip and the green in the glass was transferred to his face. "Holy Bacchus," he sputtered. "That is against nature and all things divine. — Rob Thurman

But hoping you never saw someone again is a damn sight different from wishing them dead. — Rob Thurman

Smote.' I haven't gotten to use that word since my days upstairs. I kind of miss it. Lots of pomp and circumstance in a word like that." He tapped his chin as the smile became sly. "Downstairs we just say slaughter or massacre or team-building exercise. — Rob Thurman

All of his life had been about making sure I kept mine. — Rob Thurman

There are a lot of truths in this world. When it rains it pours. It's always darkest before the dawn. He who smelt it dealt it. — Rob Thurman

When life gives you lemons ... You might as well shove 'em where the sun don't shine, because you sure as hell aren't ever going to see any lemonade. — Rob Thurman

Get a grip, change your shorts, and move on to the task at hand. — Rob Thurman

We all have our security blankets in this world. Some are just sharper than others. — Rob Thurman

The guy had guts - I had to give him that. Later on I was hoping for a first-hand look at them. — Rob Thurman

I love Urban Fantasy, even though I'm inevitably compared to 'Supernatural,' only a little more edgy. — Rob Thurman

And he had it all over Octavian, let me tell you. Hung like a Pegasus, he was. — Rob Thurman

It is now. It is always now. Now is good. Now could be the best. My name is Catcher. My name was Catcher.
My name ... my name ...
I am ...
I am lost, I am found and then I am free and I am happy.
When I jump over that edge, someone leaps with me, shoulder to shoulder. I smell kinship on him. Kinship is all. I'm not alone.
Never alone.
I land, earth below me, moon above. I am wolf. We are pack.
And that is all I need. — Rob Thurman

Leandros's favorite place had turned out not to be vegetarian, but vegan, which was for people who preferred their suicide slow. — Rob Thurman

Who do you take me for?" "The devil?" Please. The devil wished he had half my style and a fourth my schemes. — Rob Thurman

Everyone has something in their life, in their world, that can break them. — Rob Thurman

Wouldn't you leave a light on? Knowing what I knew and not knowing anything else at all, why would I want the darkness where the monsters hide?
Because killers hide there too. — Rob Thurman

She'd also said more than once that I wasn't half as clever as I thought I was. Considering what I thought of myself, that still made me pretty damn clever. — Rob Thurman

Pick up your clothes. I am not your maid. How do I know this? A maid cannot kill you with a tube sock. I can. — Rob Thurman

You can't choose, who you are. No matter how you struggle, some things will never change. And maybe they schouldn't. — Rob Thurman

All I cared was that she had never lied. She was honest in a world just the opposite, and a cool oasis in my life. She was who she said she was, and everything Sophia, my mother, the pathologically manipulative liar, had never been. — Rob Thurman

Anyone with less intestinal fortitude, inhuman or not, would've been curled up on the floor sucking his thumb. I basked in the attention and took it as my due. I'd always known I was a star. Without me, the Auphe were nothing. I was the key, and the gate was a lock only I could open. At this moment I was, as I'd always suspected, God. Spreading my arms, I let my head fall back and closed my eyes, my streaming hair a silk touch on my shoulder blades. "Suffer the little children to come unto me." Opening my eyes, I smiled gently at the Auphe. — Rob Thurman

That's what I have you for," I grinned. "I'm just here to carry the heavy stuff. The union says thinking rolls me into overtime — Rob Thurman

It's an unfortunate fact of life," Niko said with grimly amused resignation. "Where there are graveyards, there are flesh-eating revenants. Where there are cars, there are car salesmen. — Rob Thurman

Most kids don't believe in fairy tales very long. Once they hit six or seven they put away "Cinderella" and
her shoe fetish, "The Three Little Pigs" with their violation of building codes, "Miss Muffet" and her
well-shaped tuffet - all forgotten or discounted. And maybe that's the way it has to be. To survive in the
world, you have to give up the fantasies, the make-believe. The only trouble is that it's not all
make-believe. Some parts of the fairy tales are all too real, all too true. There might not be a Red Riding
Hood, but there is a Big Bad Wolf. No Snow White, but definitely an Evil Queen. No obnoxiously cute
blond tots, but a child-eating witch ... yeah. Oh yeah. — Rob Thurman

People
stupid when they lived; potentially stupid when they died. — Rob Thurman

Funny thing about faith ... it goes a lot faster than it comes. — Rob Thurman

Why is it always the world? Why is it never just half a block? Or Jersey? You know, something we could live without? — Rob Thurman

But you know what they say ... Size isn't everything. Of course the people that say that are divided into two categories: dickless wonders and those not facing the troll that could've eaten New Jersey. — Rob Thurman

The place was out in Jersey ... Newark. And while that made living with yourself harder, it did make parking somewhat easier. — Rob Thurman

She'd eat you alive." "She would, would she?" Niko said dryly. "Seriously, Nik, she's dangerous, a predator." This voice-of-reason shit, it had to stop. It was a strain on my resources. His lip twitched. "And what, little brother, do you think I am?" Damn. He had me there. — Rob Thurman

When I remembered Stefan first coming for me, it wasn't a man in a black mask or a crazy guy shoving Three Musketeers bars at me as he tried to convince me I was his brother. I remembered an ocean, dark as a universe without stars-black with guilt, despair, rage, violence, self loathing. All I could see was his hand reaching out of the water; the rest of him was buried in a liquid Hell he couldn't escape — Rob Thurman

I've always enjoyed a challenge," Niko remarked, shifting through the powder to lift something out. "I think perhaps there are other things I could enjoy instead. Bonsai trees, painting, forging my own weapons. The opportunities are endless." He opened his hand to show me the small braid of several yellowed hairs. "Voodoo." "Think it would work?" I perked up. Killing from a distance wasn't usually my thing, but in this case, I'd make an exception. — Rob Thurman

Writing monsters is fun, and it's easy. When I want one, I just reach under the bed and pull it out, kicking and screaming. — Rob Thurman

Several months ago there was a somewhat, in some people's eyes, relatively normal Cal
or by and large normal
the best he was able to be as half Auphe. Occasionally he did lose his shit, attacked and ate deer while on road trips through the woods, created massive holes in between dimensions to shove through malevolently murderous pucks, and once in a while ripped out an Auphe's throat with his teeth. He also opened a gate or two to save his friends, blew up an antihealer from the inside out to save the world, cleaned his guns while watching porn, and generally was a smart-ass to everyone.
Normal. — Rob Thurman

If I had a bad day, which, now that I ran my own life, was a helluva lot less than the old days, I sat on the floor with Houdini, placed a hand on his broad head, and soaked up endless doggy wonder. A full stomach, a well-chewed toy, a soft couch - through a dog's eyes, that was a true glory that couldn't be matched, the only heaven in existence. I missed the furball, missed him like crazy. — Rob Thurman

Robin had presented him with a fake degree from a university in Athens where the puck had an old acquaintance who still got a kick out of teaching, despite hemlock rumors to the contrary. — Rob Thurman

He tried to turn me into a buffet?" I gritted my teeth. "Before he killed me? He couldn't kill me first and then eat me? That's just fucking rude. — Rob Thurman

There are monsters among us. There always have been and there always will be. I've known that ever since I can remember, just like i've always known I was one. — Rob Thurman

I'd be a monster fighter who rode the bus. It didn't get any more bad-ass than that. — Rob Thurman

Grocery lists I lost; my shit list was forever. — Rob Thurman

Lies were like acid, corrosive: They could dissolve trust in a heartbeat. — Rob Thurman

Snap judgments? I'd gotten over those about the time I was toilet trained. Swore off diapers and faith in the human experience all in one week. — Rob Thurman

Grumbling incoherently, I fished in my jacket pocket for sunglasses. "Fear not, night dweller," Niko said with mocking gravity. "It is merely the sun, something you would see more often if you would roll out of bed before late afternoon. — Rob Thurman

I am your brother. I was supposed to be your brother before either of us was born. Karmic debt. It appears I was Vlad the Impaler or Genghis Khan in a past life. — Rob Thurman

You always remember the words that come back to bite you in the ass, no matter how much you'd like to forget them. — Rob Thurman

And who died and made you boss?" But I knew a lost cause when I saw it and was already pulling my hair back with nimble fingers.
Niko slapped a shoulder holster against my chest. "No one. Like all truly great dictators, I seized that power myself. Now finish up. We leave in five minutes. — Rob Thurman

I am not sleeping with him." I shot him a poisonous glare. "If I had a bumper sticker, it would read, 'Demon slayer, not demon layer.' " "Your mouth says no, but your cleavage says yes. — Rob Thurman

Alone: it was no way to live and it was no way to die. — Rob Thurman

Call my cell." He whipped out a card and passed it over. "Here's my number." I didn't bother to look at it. "I'm guessing 666- 6666." "Oh, right. As if that number weren't snatched up decades ago. — Rob Thurman

The relationship between my brain and my mouth tended to be casual at best. — Rob Thurman

Home is where the heart is or where you bury the ones you want to eat later. — Rob Thurman

Their work is timeless. It transcends the bubblegum pap that passes for music now. A Beatles song is a flawlessly executed kata. Anything else is simply wrestling in Jell-O, he returned with disdain. — Rob Thurman