Qwen Salsbury Quotes & Sayings

Wherever you are, dear butterfly, keep flapping your chaotic wings. Flap them. Flap them like your little life depends upon it... or at least my little death. — Qwen Salsbury

Day: Different. * Shit: Same. * Workload and Course Load: Big, steamy load. * Consider: Pro v. con of liquid diet. * Shopping List: One bourbon. One Scotch. One beer. — Qwen Salsbury

These are dark times. Darker still if we must forego the snooze button. — Qwen Salsbury

God, I'm not just in the neighbourhood of pathetic, I'm circling the block. — Qwen Salsbury

You mean beyond the obvious drawbacks of being involved with a self-proclaimed and unapologetic asshole? — Qwen Salsbury

Let us observe the mating rituals of the lecherous North American lounge lizard in his native habitat: The Open Bar. — Qwen Salsbury

I do wish there were assless chaps. Not that I would wear them. But there is nothing funnier than the words assless chaps. — Qwen Salsbury

I look pretty good. More than good, actually, but I'm not a teenager anymore. Caution: Contents may have shifted during flight. — Qwen Salsbury

How am I supposed to look unaffected and asexual with all this unfair fuckery happening? — Qwen Salsbury

It's all very Super Secret Squirrel. — Qwen Salsbury

I will have you know there is probably less pineapple at your average luau than in my system at this moment — Qwen Salsbury

This crap is fast getting on my reserve nerve. — Qwen Salsbury

This year, Rebecca instituted a White Elephant gift exchange, that passive-aggressive method of conveying just how little the people you see more often than family mean to you via the splendor of craptastic gifting. — Qwen Salsbury

Incoming Text: Bert will be so disappointed. He had down that Canon would eat you alive by last night. Note to self: Never bet against Bert. — Qwen Salsbury

WHY IS MY BATH COLD? Because I, purchaser of sadist shoes, needed to soak after wearing cheese graters on my feet yesterday and then traveling and walking and sitting through meetings and touring facilities and impersonating a pack mule today. 'Twas not meant to be. — Qwen Salsbury

Say who with the what now? Well, Merry Christmas and Ho Ho Holy Crap. Just what the hell have I been yammering on about? — Qwen Salsbury

IT IS A FACT, UNIVERSALLY ACCEPTED, that a single man in possession of a fine ass must be observed like wildlife — Qwen Salsbury

We have been going over the proposal and possible concessions for the longest ninety minutes of my life. And I saw Battlefield Earth. — Qwen Salsbury

Irony is chock-full of fiber. — Qwen Salsbury

REBECCA IS AN IMMORTAL. I know this because I have been giving her a look that can kill for the past three and a half minutes. — Qwen Salsbury