Famous Quotes & Sayings

Peter Sagal Quotes & Sayings

Enjoy the top 33 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Peter Sagal.

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Google+ Pinterest Share on Linkedin

Famous Quotes By Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 270972

The new French theme park based on Napoleon is named Napoleon's Bivouac, and will honor Napoleon with rides, battle reenactments, and the brutal March on Moscow ride. That's a walk-in freezer you stand in for 18 months while you try to eat a dead horse. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 912807

We amateur athletes are peculiarly devoted to our fitness, and our obsessions can sometimes be a burden to our loved ones and a mystery to everyone else. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 890723

There's a common saying that everybody deep at heart loves their mother, except sometimes we decide our actual mothers don't measure up. And so we look for a replacement. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 1914289

[Joe] Biden countered. He was speaking at a summit for working families, and he said he had no stocks, no bonds, or a savings account. He then asked a Secret Service agent to hand him his hobo bindle, and he jumped a freight train back to D.C. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 779308

Hillary Clinton, told a reporter that she and Bill aren't truly well-off, even though they're incredibly rich because they pay income taxes like everybody else. In fact, she says, they were so poor when they left the White House, they could hardly afford Bill's website memberships. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 972628

We're excited for when Sony greenlights the $50 million film a "Bunch Of Swirling Colors" starring George Clooney and a lava lamp. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 1455057

NASA scientists announced the discovery of 50 new planets, among them what they're calling Super Earth. It's indistinguishable from regular earth until it removes its glasses. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 2188942

Scientists have determined that the most irritating sound to the human ear is the sound of a knife cutting a glass bottle. And the second-worst sound is a fork scratching a glass bottle. Evidently they did all their research at the Picnic for Morons. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 1829481

A wedding invitation is a gift subpoena. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 1203934

UNESCO provides protection for the great cultural institutions. There is something called the intangible cultural heritage list. And the Italians want to put Neapolitan pizza on it. But in order to do that, you have to show that whatever it is that you're trying to protect is under threat. And pizza is totally under threat from Pizza Hut and Domino's. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 1283114

The Olympic Charter says winter sports must be played on snow or ice, so the Chess Federation says they'll play with ice pieces. The Olympic charter also says sports must be sports. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 1451498

Look out sinners because if you do not go to confession, confession will come to you. The Catholic Church in northern England has launched a mobile confession unit called the Mercy Bus. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 1577142

If we had known there was biting in soccer, we would have started watching years ago. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 821087

I am now gay 'cause I have watched Ronaldo. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 2151514

If you are using search data to decide what's fashionable, you are not fashionable. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 2173613

Buddhism - Tibetan Buddhism - teaches us many things, peace comes from within, we must be free ourselves from earthly desires. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 2209663

I love Salt Lake City. well. It's beautiful with all the great outdoors around you. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 2213462

Utah is close to becoming the latest state to legalize medical marijuana.But one DEA agent raised the alarm in front of the Utah legislature. He warned them that rabbits might eat the weed. And then what would you have? You'd have a bunch of weed-crazed rabbits running around. They'd run rampant in the state's cornfields and taco orchards. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 2247168

In a surprising unanimous ruling, the Supreme Court ruled the police cannot search what is on your phone without a warrant. Court observers said a unanimous decision from this court was slightly less likely than Scalia winning the annual Supreme Court wet robe contest. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 157600

Women are using makeup to make their eyes look puffy, their noses look red, and instead of going to the gym, they start their day with a brisk walk of shame. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 751845

In the old days, we painstakingly copied our emails onto paper, put a stamp on them and mailed them to arrive 4 to 5 days later. We also churned our own butter and used our phones for talking. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 722902

With two years till the nomination, both [Joe] Biden and [Hillary] Clinton are positioning themselves to be the Democratic nominee. And are they stressing their experience, their ideas, their excellent hair? No. They've been talking about their poverty. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 689542

We runners talk about having fun but I don't think anybody believes us. We talk about discipline and endurance, we take care, we exercise caution, we watch our diets and monitor our pace. We are ascetics who talk, unconvincingly, of the bracing enjoyment of self-abuse. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 574220

If the internet has taught us anything, it's that you want less news and more cats. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 573071

In the ruling, Justice Roberts, who wrote the decision, referred to cell phones as not just phones but, quote, "cameras, video players, rolodexes, calendars, tape recorders, libraries, and diaries," unquote. Plus, he went on, best friends, lovers ... — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 557800

Ben & Jerry's ice cream will try to make some marijuana ice cream, resulting in thousands of people simultaneously getting and curing ice cream headaches. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 510884

After Luis Suarez of Uruguay bit an Italian opponent in the shoulder, two things happened. Suarez was thrown out of the rest of the tournament, and the player he bit turned Uruguayan. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 508162

On Valentine's Day, couples in Calgary can celebrate their love for each other with couples' nude yoga - great way to get in shape and see a side of your partner you've never seen before and never want to see again. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 501203

These were strange caricatures of human beings, weirdly inflated, their breasts enormous spheres, held in place by string bikinis with cups the size of fourteen-meter yacht spinnakers. Their legs were elongated too, their toes pointed straight downward into high-heeled shoes steeper than double black-diamond ski runs. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 349700

We love things with biting - "Twilight" movies, zombie movies, eating. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 288890

Former Sony CEO Amy Pascal - they threw her out of the headquarters, but they gave her a new office on the lot. But she can't move into it because it reeks of pot smoke. Apparently, this is true, the former tenant was Seth Rogan. And he, as we know, smokes so much weed, when he finally exhales, it looks like there's a new pope. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 257113

You and I may look at a banana and see a banana. If forced to come up with something more inventive to do with it, perhaps we'd mash it up, or maybe we'd dip it in chocolate, and say 'What a good boy am I. — Peter Sagal

Peter Sagal Quotes 159070

Sometimes you just have to get out there and just help somebody face to face. — Peter Sagal