Paul Ekman Quotes & Sayings

No important relationship survives if trust is totally lost. — Paul Ekman

Smiles are probably the most underrated facial expressions, much more complicated than most people realize. There are dozens of smiles, each differing in appearance and in the message expressed. — Paul Ekman

If a person feels terrible, it usually should not be shown or acknowledged during a greeting exchange. Instead, the unhappy person is expected to conceal negative feelings, putting on a polite smile to accompany the "Just fine, thank you, and how are you?" reply to the "How are you today?" The true feelings will probably go undetected, not because the smile is such a good mask but because in polite exchanges people rarely care how the other person actually feels. — Paul Ekman

MOST LIES succeed because no one goes through the work to figure out how to catch them. — Paul Ekman

Emotions Revealed: Recognizing Faces And Feelings To Improve Communication And Emotional Life. — Paul Ekman

Most liars can fool most people most of the time. — Paul Ekman

Lying is a deliberate choice to mislead a target without giving any notification of the intent to do so. There are two major forms of lying: concealment, leaving out true information; and falsification, or presenting false information as if it were true. — Paul Ekman

The distinction between shame and guilt is very important, since these two emotions may tear a person in opposite directions. The wish to relieve guilt may motivate a confession, but the wish to avoid the humiliation of shame may prevent it. — Paul Ekman

People who often falsely accuse, who repeatedly disbelieve the truthful, establish a relationship that makes fear signs ambiguous, likely whether their suspect is truthful or lying. — Paul Ekman

In some instances, you may care so much about the person who has hurt you, or be so unable to be angry with him (or with anyone), that you rationalize his hurtful acts by finding some basis in your own actions for his hurtful behavior; you then feel guilty rather than angry. Put in other terms, you become angry with yourself rather than with the one who hurt you. — Paul Ekman

3. When the behavior changes occur in relation to a specific topic or question, that tells the lie catcher this could be a hot area to explore. — Paul Ekman

Crucial to how we feel is being aware of how we are feeling in the moment. The sine qua non of that is to realize that you are being emotional in the first place. The earlier you recognize an emotion, the more choice you will have in dealing with it. In Buddhist terms, it's recognizing the spark before the flame. In Western terms, it's trying to increase the gap between impulse and saying or doing something you might regret later. — Paul Ekman

People do misinterpret events, especially the meaning of other people's actions and the motives that lead people to act one way or another. — Paul Ekman

You were never taught how to talk with your face like you speak with words. — Paul Ekman

It is our responsibility to learn to become emotionally intelligent. These are skills, they're not easy, nature didn't give them to us - we have to learn them. — Paul Ekman

Impatience can be very good by helping us not put up with tyranny, but it can distort our view of what is possible and how to bring about change. We have to cultivate patience so that our perception isn't distorted. — Paul Ekman

People also smile when they are miserable. — Paul Ekman

A broken promise is not a lie. — Paul Ekman

Emotions can override ... the more powerful fundamental motives that drive our lives: hunger, sex, and the will to survive. People will not eat if they think the only food available is disgusting. They may even die, although other people might consider that same food palatable. Emotion triumphs over the hunger drive! A person may never attempt sexual contact because of the interference of fear or disgust, or may never be able to complete a sexual act. Emotion triumphs over the sex drive! And despair can overwhelm even the will to live, motivating a suicide. Emotions triumph over the will to live! — Paul Ekman