Patricia Marx Quotes & Sayings

There better not be a God because I'll be in big trouble. — Patricia Marx

I'm a goody-goody. I'm the person who sits in the back row, makes fun of the teacher, and secretly does the extra-credit work. — Patricia Marx

It's always gratifying to share a hobby with a friend, and pining for erstwhile suitors falls into that category. In the months to come, Libby and I would analyze our respective exes with the gusto and intellectual rigor of Jesuits. — Patricia Marx

Men still wear cologne, but I wish they wouldn't. No matter what you may believe, all men's fragrances smell like the air freshener in a taxi. — Patricia Marx

What can you give a friend who has everything? Shelves. — Patricia Marx

But that's typical of me. "This is going to end in tears," I tell myself every time I balance a cup of coffee on the upholstered arm of the chair I'm sitting on. And then, lo and behold, the cup topples and even before it lands, I tell myself, "Told me so!" Not to spell out, or spill out, one of the metaphors of my life, but I always do the stupid thing and then I do it again. I never learn. — Patricia Marx

It's better to spend a lot on a getup you love than a fraction of that on something, or even five of those somethings, that you'll never bother to take out of the shopping bag. By the way, this advice also applies to discount love interests. And half-price sushi. — Patricia Marx

If only, I thought, I could talk to Eugene just one more time. This was before I came to understand that you cannot make someone fall in love with you But here's what you can do. By arguing and pleading and screaming and crying and throwing plates and phoning a lot and bringing hot food and sending flowers and buying gifts and doing unsolicited favors and remembering a birthday and being nice and declaring your abiding love and trying hard or sometimes merely by being present, you can make someone who was hitherto lukewarm really detest you. — Patricia Marx

I do not find the concept of consorting with unknown persons appealing. — Patricia Marx

Christmas cards ... are technically only junk mail from people you know. — Patricia Marx

I don't really care that much about eating. But I like impressing people with how good a cook I am. So I will cook. I'm an excellent cook. Not many people know that about me. — Patricia Marx

Every nuclear bomb is an Auschwitz waiting to happen. — Patricia Marx

I love narcissists-even more than they love themselves. You don't have to buoy them up. They are their own razzle-dazzle show and you are the blessed, favored with a front-row seat. — Patricia Marx

You don't have to spend much time in Shanghai before you start to get all existential about the meaning of authenticity. Did you know that Shanghai is building nine satellite towns, each designed to mimic the architecture and culture of a different country? — Patricia Marx

'Couch surfing' refers to the practice of temporarily lodging with a stranger - free of charge, unless you count being incessantly sociable as payment. — Patricia Marx

I think I began to like writing a lot more, and to be a better writer, when I did it for a while alone. It made me a little more confident about my style. — Patricia Marx

Perhaps the most mysterious of all mammals is the male Homo sapiens. Indeed, many anthropologists classify the group as a subspecies. — Patricia Marx

Maybe pretty women were always funny but only now decided to go into comedy, — Patricia Marx

New York is rich in culture, cuisine, and commerce. — Patricia Marx

Males have probably always enjoyed watching the defeat of other males, but without the invention of numerals and the subsequent invention of the concept of keeping score, we could never have had a million sports channels. — Patricia Marx

Unless you're a salesman, or a bad guest on a talk show, you don't call someone by his name that often. — Patricia Marx

High heels weren't always a girl thing. In the fifteen-hundreds, the riding shoes of French noblemen were fitted with raised heels so that their feet stayed put in the stirrups. Over the next few decades, heels inched higher on dress shoes, particularly among men of privilege. — Patricia Marx

The Chinese are no slouches when it comes to capitalism. — Patricia Marx

Being serious just makes me a little bit embarrassed. — Patricia Marx

For somebody who is a journalist, I can be awfully unobservant sometimes. — Patricia Marx

One false word, one extra word, and somebody's thinking about how they have to buy paper towels at the store. Brevity is very important. If you're going to be longwinded, it should be for a purpose. Not just because you like your words. — Patricia Marx

I write the shopping column. I think I've proven my superficiality. — Patricia Marx

Love can't always be measured by how long u wait,it's about how well u understand WHY and WHAT you are waiting — Patricia Marx

New York may be the city that never sleeps, but Shanghai doesn't even sit down, and not just because there is no room. — Patricia Marx

Everyone thinks that 'Chinatown' is the best screenplay. I'm not sure it is. — Patricia Marx

Though the male can be noble in reason and infinite in faculties, he is also easily amused by shiny toys, especially ones that do dumb things on his desk. — Patricia Marx