Oscar Levant Quotes & Sayings

I never read bad reviews about myself, because my friends invariably tell me about them. — Oscar Levant

I've changed, I'm nice to people and I'm not so self-centered. What I'm trying to do now is think of the other person. The only trouble is, I've found that the other person thinks only of himself. — Oscar Levant

[Madame Nhu was] the Sandra Dee of South Vietnam. If I were cast on a desert island with her, I would quickly make friends with the natives. — Oscar Levant

Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character. — Oscar Levant

I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away. — Oscar Levant

Once Dwight Eisenhower makes up his mind, he's full of indecision. — Oscar Levant

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line. — Oscar Levant

Marriage is a triumph of habit over hate. — Oscar Levant

On Ira Gershwin:
I remember when he was given the manuscript of a novel written by a woman friend who had hopes of having it published. To his astonishment it turned out to be the dirtiest, most pornographic book he had ever read. When the lady mentioned that she intended to use a nom de plume, Ira suggested she call herself Henrietta Miller. — Oscar Levant

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left. — Oscar Levant

I don't like to play the piano. It makes me too attractive. — Oscar Levant

A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it. — Oscar Levant

It's not what you are, it's what you don't become that hurts. — Oscar Levant

I'm a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy. — Oscar Levant

So little time and so little to do. — Oscar Levant

Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath. — Oscar Levant

Happiness isn't something you experience, it's something you remember. — Oscar Levant

Debbie Reynolds is as wistful as an iron foundry. — Oscar Levant

I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on. — Oscar Levant

In some situations I was difficult, in odd moments impossible, in rare moments loathsome, but at my best unapproachably great. — Oscar Levant

I have no trouble with y enemies. But my god damn friends ... they are the ones that keep me walking the floors at night. — Oscar Levant

Ballet is the fairies baseball. — Oscar Levant

There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side. — Oscar Levant

I am no more humble than my talents require. — Oscar Levant

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome. — Oscar Levant

Now that Marilyn Monroe is kosher, Arthur Miller can eat her. — Oscar Levant

Self-pity - it's the only pity that counts. — Oscar Levant

George, if you had to do it all over, would you fall in love with yourself again? — Oscar Levant

I never watch the Dinah Shore show- I'm a diabetic. — Oscar Levant

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too. — Oscar Levant

I'm controversial. My friends either dislike me or hate me — Oscar Levant

An epigram is only a wisecrack that's played at Carnegie Hall. — Oscar Levant

When I can't sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen. — Oscar Levant

When I was young I looked like Al Capone, but I lacked his compassion. — Oscar Levant

I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin. — Oscar Levant

A pun is the lowest form of humor - when you don't think of it first. — Oscar Levant

Talent's like a baby. Wrap it up in wool and it goes to sleep. — Oscar Levant

First I brush my teeth and then I sharpen my tongue. — Oscar Levant

My last picture for Warners was Romance on the High Seas. It was Doris Day's first picture; that was before she became a virgin. — Oscar Levant

I'm a concert pianist, that's a pretentious way of saying I'm unemployed at the moment. — Oscar Levant

I could never have a mistress, because I couldn't bear to tell the story of my life all over again. — Oscar Levant

Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel. — Oscar Levant

A conductor should reconcile himself to the realization that regardless of his approach or temperament the eventual result is the same-the orchestra will hate him. — Oscar Levant

I played an unsympathetic part
myself. — Oscar Levant

I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients. — Oscar Levant

I think a lot of Bernstein - but not as much as he does. — Oscar Levant

I don't drink. I don't like it. It makes me feel good. — Oscar Levant

Once he makes up his mind, he's full of indecision. - On Dwight D. Eisenhower — Oscar Levant

When I appeared before the draft board examiner during World War II, he asked me if I thought I could kill. "I don't know about strangers," I replied, "but friends, certainly." — Oscar Levant

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I. — Oscar Levant

I'm a self-made man. Who else would help? — Oscar Levant

I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself. — Oscar Levant

You can't possibly hear the last movement of Beethoven's Seventh and go slow. (Oscar trying to talk his way out of a speeding ticket) — Oscar Levant

Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision. — Oscar Levant

It'd be nice to please everyone but I thought it would be more interesting to have a point of view. — Oscar Levant