Odd Borretzen Quotes & Sayings

Previously, until a few years ago, it was customary for the Norwegian to be born with skis on his feet. But one of the improvements that has been made is that this is no longer the case*. Modern research has revealed, in fact, that this could be very uncomfortable and, to some extent, dangerous to the mother.
*It still happens that the birth takes place with skis on the feet, but now it is most often the mother who has the skis on during the birth. — Odd Borretzen

The best way to tell whether the Norwegian is a Norwegian is to say:
"Are you Swedish?"
Regardless whether you say this in English, French, Italian, Japanese, Urdu or Swahili, he will answer:
"Swedish? Me? I'm a Norwegian!"
Then you will be able to tell. — Odd Borretzen

If, in our day, you should see a polar bear in a Norwegian street, especially in the dead of night, you should tentatively say to the animal: "Good evening?" If the polar bear answers, "Shutyourbigmouth!" or something that sounds like this, in all likelihood, this is not a polar bear but a Norwegian on his way home from a party. — Odd Borretzen

The Norwegian is a sober person. His relationship to God is somewhat like his relationship to the King. He believes that God (and the King) is quite all right - on the condition that He behaves like a proper Norwegian and doesn't believe he is anything special. The Norwegian doesn't say this outright, but he believes that God (and the King), in spite of everything, is no more than human.
The Norwegian wouldn't be surprised if, one day, he should see God (or the King) ahead of him in a bus queue, for ex., or on Karl Johansgate in Oslo. — Odd Borretzen

He didn't shout, "I love you!" for example, because self-conscious people don't shout that sort of thing. At that time, however, the Norwegian had other opportunities of expressing himself. He could express irritation or anger by going outside and chopping down a tree, or throwing big stones in the water.*
*As is known, the Norwegian coast is surrounded by thousands of larger and smaller stones (The Skerries). This is very likely a sign that there was considerable irritation during the Norwegian Stone Age. — Odd Borretzen

B National Pride - Is located on top of the head, under the hair, and for this and other reasons may be difficult to detect.
C Mouth - Is used for the intake of food and drink, and, to some extent, for talking. (See: Norwegian Conversations (Do they occur?)).
G Craving for Freedom - Located in the heart.
H Right Hand - Open, ready to accept friendship and/or sales contracts. — Odd Borretzen