Natalie Standiford Quotes & Sayings

She decided that day to study Russian, the language of violence, terror, and absurdity. She knew she would never be bored. — Natalie Standiford

Throughout history, big changes always start with a girl meeting a boy."
"No they don't," Jane said. "They start with somebody being assassinated. — Natalie Standiford

I felt like you could open a door in my hollow, tin chest
just flip it open, easy
and see my heart throbbing, raw and bloody and sore. You could even reach in and squish it if you wanted to. I didn't want anyone getting close enough to open that door and see that mess (250-251). — Natalie Standiford

You're a big sister?' I was shocked. She seemed so good-natured and compassionate. — Natalie Standiford

He'd learned a lot in the short time he'd been with the Cahills, and one of the biggest lessons was not to hold back. Go for it now, because you never knew what could happen the next day, or even the next minute . - Pony — Natalie Standiford

He's stuck with them, so he makes the best of a bad situation. he's a hero because he makes something good out of a life he doesn't want. — Natalie Standiford

I had no cause to be happy. I felt sad with a good reason, and it wouldn't be right to mess with that feeling. I thought I ought to just stay sad for a while. — Natalie Standiford

I have a rotary phone from the sixties, it take forever to dial, which keeps me from making impulsive calls. — Natalie Standiford

The students adore your father,' a perfumed woman said to me. 'Aren't you lucky to live with such a charming man!'
'He's even more charming at home,' Mom said. 'Isn't he, Bea? He rides a unicycle through the house -'
'- even up and down the stairs,' I added.
'He juggles eggs as he makes breakfast every morning -'
'- which he serves to us in bed of course,' I said.
'- and pulls fragrant bouquets out of his ass,' Mom finished.
'He's just a joy. — Natalie Standiford

A toast to the birthday boy!' Myrna shouted. 'Welcome to the adult world, hon. It's lonely, it's miserable, and God help you. But there are bright spots, and nights like tonight are one of them. — Natalie Standiford

Tom was okay, but we were just pretending to like each other, hoping that eventually, if we pretended hard enough, it would turn real. Maybe it would and maybe it wouldn't. But Jonah was already real. Even Matthew was real, though I'd never seen him. And they made me real. — Natalie Standiford

But why? Why do you care about our class's history?"
"I just do. Besides, I need something to put on my art-school applications besides 'Locks self in room and draws all day.' Even art schools won't take a psychopath. — Natalie Standiford

Laura, this isn't love. Love lets you go on a trip without following you. Love can live without you for a week, knowing you'll come back.'
'No, it can't.' The afternoon shadows grew long and cold. In spite of the chill, a heat rose up inside her and flooded her face. 'That's how you know it's true love. When he can't live without you.'
Karen shook her head. 'That's how you know it's obsession. Or something else. — Natalie Standiford

Before he sat down, my internal heat-seekers sensed what was coming my way: deep blue eyes that melted girls like Velveeta in a microwave. I tried to resist those microwave eyes, but sometimes there's no defense against them. I had a feeling I'd be seeing him weeping over my coffin later that night. — Natalie Standiford

I keep wishing, reflexively, for a glimpse of the future, so I'll know what to do. But I don't kid myself. I have to feel my way forward blindly. I try not to be afraid. Even if you know what's coming, you're never prepared for how it feels. — Natalie Standiford

Those who love only half of him do not live him at all. — Natalie Standiford

Don, we're huge fans," I said.
"Don, we're huge fans," he shot back in a high-pitched voice meant to mock me.
What a jerk, I thought, but I didn't care, because he was Don Berman, and that's what Don Berman did. — Natalie Standiford

Well, if you're talking about love, why did you bring up cocaine? — Natalie Standiford

This year I have Sister Mary Joseph for Religion. Right away I could tell she was going to become my archenemy. She has a stony face with a mean squint; Clint Eastwood in a wimple. She trained the squint on me and decided I was trouble from the get-go. — Natalie Standiford

I don't care, I don't care, I don't care what they think. — Natalie Standiford

If you'd only let me come by myself, none of this would have happened. Having you around makes everything worse.'
She buried her head under her pillow. 'Stop it! you're so cold! You're heartless, you little robot!' The pillow muffled her words, but they still stung.
'I feel things,' I said. 'I'm not a robot!' I stamped my foot and screamed. Then I burst into tears. I touched the wet little drops and held them toward her. 'See, I'm not a robot. This is proof. — Natalie Standiford

What else could have happened? Car wouldn't start? House caught on fire? Escaped convict climbed through his bedroom window and tied him with duct tape? Poison eggnog? Or maybe I just didn't matter to him. — Natalie Standiford

I think ghostliness is a good quality. I pretend I'm dead all the time."
"What?" He stopped rummaging through his locker to look at me full in the face a last.
"It helps me go to sleep," I said.
"That shows you don't know anything about death," Jonah said.
"Do you?" I asked.
He hesitated before saying "I'm a g-g-g-ghost, aren't I?"
"I think being dead might be nice. Restful."
"Death is not restful. It's nothing."
"That's what seems restful to me," I said. "The nothing. Not being here. Not being anywhere. — Natalie Standiford

I didn't want to die. I just found death soothing to think about. — Natalie Standiford

Jonah's breath came fast and shallow. I reached for his hand. He turned his face to me, his eyes wide with panic. Two frozen ponds. A boy screamed and pounded on the surface, trapped under the ice. Panicking. Trying to break through. But his screams faded, his fists flailed, and he slipped away into the dark. The boy was gone. Nothing left but the ice, clear and smooth enough to skate on. — Natalie Standiford

I missed him desperately, even though he'd said he hated me, even though his anger - the rampage at his house, the X through his yearbook page, the cruel way he withdrew from everyone - scared me. I didn't care if he wasn't my boyfriend, or even my friend. He was my Jonah. I felt more alone without him now than I'd ever felt before I met him. My life had a hole in it. — Natalie Standiford

I had to admit he looked nice. He has very regular features and straight teeth. I'd just read that even, regular features are universally recognized as beautiful. So no matter what I think of Brooks as a person, I'm genetically programmed to find him attractive. I resent that. — Natalie Standiford

I'll never forget Jonah's face. A light poured out of him and became the spirit of the room, like a genie released from a bottle after centuries of darkness. — Natalie Standiford

No amount of wishing will bring back the dead. — Natalie Standiford

He's as bad as my mother. Maybe worse. He's a market-research consultant. He studies people's facial expressions to see how they feel about commercials and products. He used to be a psychologist but he makes more money helping big corporations dupe the public. The worst part is he can look at your face and say 'Your upper lip just twitched! Anger! You're angry. Don't try to hide it from me, young man. Why does it make you angry when I say those pants make you look like a girl? Doe you have something against girls? Perhaps some unresolved Oedipal feelings? — Natalie Standiford

I wanted to like people. It worried me that I didn't. — Natalie Standiford

I might have been made of metal once, but not anymore. Like Pinocchio, I'd turned into a real girl. So far it sucked. But there was nothing I could do about it. — Natalie Standiford

Its more a trance, jonah said. the whole world is pressing in on me, like a weight on my chest, slowly pushing me down ans down. and there's nothing between me and this weight but my flimsy skin. Its not enough. It won't protect me. It doesn't keep anything out. The outside will keep pressing until my ribs are crushed. — Natalie Standiford

How do you define a boyfriend? If a boyfriend is the first person you think about when you wake up in the morning and the last face you see before you fall asleep, then I was in love with Jonah. But if a boyfriend had to involve physical chemistry and kissing and sex and stuff, then, no, he wasn't that. — Natalie Standiford

There is a separation between parents and children that shouldn't be breached when the children are young. The parents' adult follies are private. They're disturbing and hard to understand. But eventually the kids wise up, the follies start leaking out, and the parents are revealed in all their flawed humanity. Dad and I were about to cross that boundary for good. — Natalie Standiford

Even Robot Girls get nervous sometimes.
-Beatrice Szabo — Natalie Standiford

Sounds pretty bad. Are you sure about this?"
"Oh, I'm sure."
"Well, I don't know what we can do to prepare, except say our prayers."
"Good luck with that, Herb. God died in 1945. — Natalie Standiford

The whole world is pressing in on me, like a weight on my chest, slowly pushing me down and down. And there's nothing between me and this weight but my flimsy skin. It's not enough. It won't protect me. It doesn't keep anything out. The outside will keep pressing in until my ribs are crushed, and then my organs, my heart and liver and stomach ... — Natalie Standiford