Michael R. Underwood Quotes & Sayings

Jane smiled the Making Lemonade smile that adults learn to do when they get used to the world stomping on their heads. — Michael R. Underwood

I am a master of folklore - I should be able to throw folklore fireballs or something. — Michael R. Underwood

So Die Hard is a better choice for action-fu than Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever."
Eastwood snarled at the mention of the second film. "I hated that movie so much, I got my ninety-nine minutes back. — Michael R. Underwood

But I tell you what - if you come across a farm boy and an old wizard, shiv them, take their horses, and go make your own destiny. — Michael R. Underwood

If our cover breaks in here, we're toast. Worse that toast, we're the crappy crumbs of carbon left at the bottom of a toster oven that I haven't cleaned out in three months. — Michael R. Underwood

how to think in the right genre?" "We already do it, every day. We tell ourselves what kind of story we're in, and we're often wrong, because life is mostly every genre, sometimes at once. — Michael R. Underwood

Right now. Living. Aiming to misbehave or just trying not to fade away. — Michael R. Underwood

That Hellboy gun of Yours? It's not scientifically possible. It flaunts the laws of physics like a teenager on Rumspringa... — Michael R. Underwood

Vampires used to be the Dracula types, but in the last ten years most of them have become weak, brooding androgynes that only go after teenagers. A friend of mine took the opportunity to rid his whole city of them after the forth Mormon Vamps book hit and the sparkle meme was at its strongest."

"So does that make Ms. Mormon Sparkle Vamp a hero?"

"Of a sort. Before they started to sparkle, there were a lot of vamps who were tortured antiheroes, thanks to Rice and Whedon."

Ree grimaced. "Do you know if she was clued in?"

Eastwood shrugged. "She's very secretive, no one in the Underground has been able to say for sure. It's all rumor. My guess is she lost someone to a vampire and decided the greatest revenge she could inflict was to turn them into a laughing stock. — Michael R. Underwood

Infighting would be stupid, since, y'know, claws and teeth. — Michael R. Underwood

Dipsomancy is very real, but it takes more than just getting hammered to do anything useful. — Michael R. Underwood

The room continued to spin though she was standing still, but her ears were hot. She felt like she'd just slammed three doubles of tequila and needed a fistfight chaser. — Michael R. Underwood

Are you serious? This is some Rylan Star League ridiculousness. — Michael R. Underwood

The trick is learning which what goes where and does what." "That was some Tennant-level vaguebabble. — Michael R. Underwood

Dear Lynda Carter, Please be with me in my hour of need. Especially if I don't have to twirl around to get my powers. — Michael R. Underwood

Today I acquired a collection of ray guns, posed for a cover spread, and wrote four thousand words of essay, including a reminder for my readers to avoid that terrible gallery show. What have you done?"
"Science," Drake said, annoyance shadowing his face as he crossed to the bar. — Michael R. Underwood

I've got to hit the bottom of this weird-ass rabbit hole anytime now, right? — Michael R. Underwood

So, how bad of an idea is it to go there? On a scale of cooking-whithout-a-shirt to being-an-evil-priest-in-an-Alexandre-Dumas-book? — Michael R. Underwood

But, self, that thing was on TV, and this one wants to tear your liver out your nose. Run. — Michael R. Underwood