Marty Feldman Quotes & Sayings

Sex is two plus two making five, rather than four. Sex is the X ingredient that you can't define, and it's that X ingredient between two people that make both a man and a woman good in bed. It's all relative. There are no rules. — Marty Feldman

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with. — Marty Feldman

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician. — Marty Feldman

He made us laugh, he took my pain away. I love you, Lauretta. — Marty Feldman

Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act. — Marty Feldman

Hookers have to deliver on their promise ... unlike politicians. — Marty Feldman

In retrospect, come to think of it, isn't everything seen in retrospect? — Marty Feldman

It could be worse... It could be raining — Marty Feldman

Money can't buy poverty. — Marty Feldman

You offer a sincere compliment on a great mustache and suddenly she's not your friend. — Marty Feldman

I can't believe my eyes. — Marty Feldman

I don't know any jokes, which is embarrassing. I wish I did. — Marty Feldman

I am too old to die young, and too young to grow up. — Marty Feldman

I don't want to be a director. I want to direct. There's a difference. — Marty Feldman

I don't enjoy anything while I'm doing it. I enjoy having done things, though. — Marty Feldman