Martha Beck Quotes & Sayings

For the vast majority of world history, human life - both culture and biology - was shaped by scarcity. Food, clothing, shelter, tools, and pretty much everything else had to be farmed or fabricated, at a very high cost in time and energy. — Martha Beck

Here is the crux of the matter, the distilled essence, the only thing you need to remember: When considering whether to say yes or no, you must choose the response that feels like freedom. Period. — Martha Beck

Children who assume adult responsibilities feel old when they're young. — Martha Beck

Learning to spot narcissists and deal with their destructive behavior can save you the world of hurt that awaits anyone who mistakes the near enemy for a friend. — Martha Beck

Most people think that once they've found their purpose and the power to practice it, they'll finally be at peace. Actually, though, it's only by starting in a place of peace that we find our purpose and power. Peace is the first step and the final lesson we all need to learn. — Martha Beck

To live a life that is wrong for you is a form of dying. There are people who have lives that look perfect. They try to be happy, they believe they should be happy, they are trying to like it, but if it's off course from their north star, they aren't satisfied. — Martha Beck

If you're doing something you love with people you love in a place you love, you are going to create something of value to the world. — Martha Beck

The idea is to identify a destructive thought pattern, then simply label it and watch it and let it pass by whenever it appears in your mind. — Martha Beck

Sacred play is anything that takes you into that right hemisphere of your brain. It turns out that this move away from left to the right hemisphere, that sense of expansiveness and everything, can be accomplished through unusual rhythmic action, or any action that requires so much attention away from words that you cannot think in words. — Martha Beck

A joyful life isn't about others; it's about the brightness that is associated with being alive. Your path to it is through anything that replaces thinking with pure flight, pure joy. — Martha Beck

My anguish came from my hypothesis that other people's hypothetical hypotheses about me mattered. Ridiculous! — Martha Beck

If you think there is no action that you can perform
in your current circumstances that will increase the
supply of love in the world, you are believing a lie.
At the very least, you always have the option to offer
yourself kindness and understanding. That alone
can increase the supply of love in the world. — Martha Beck

The part of you that is unhampered by illusion-the illusion of time, the illusion of powerlessness, the illusion of impossibility-i s waiting for you to slow down and open up so that it can speak to your consciousness. In some unguarded moment, you will hear its wildly improbable words and know that they are guiding you home. — Martha Beck

Just one mental shift-focusing on the abundance of your environment-switches your psychological settings so that your life automatically improves in many areas you may think are unrelated. This is essentially a leap from fear to faith. — Martha Beck

One reason most people never stop thinking is that mental frenzy keeps us from having to see the upsetting aspects of our lives. If I'm constantly brooding about my children or career, I won't notice that I'm lonely. If I grapple continuously with logistical problems, I can avoid contemplating little issues like, say, my own mortality. — Martha Beck

Your first daily priority should be stillness, attention to what you really know and what you really feel. — Martha Beck

Perpetually doing, without ever tuning in to the center of our being, is the equivalent of fueling a mighty ship by tossing all its navigational equipment into the furnace. — Martha Beck

Criticism is an alluring substitute for creation, because tearing
things down, unlike building them up, really is as easy as falling off a stump. It's blissfully simple to strike a savvy, sophisticated pose by attacking someone else's creations, but the old adage is right: Any fool can burn down a barn. Building one is something else again. — Martha Beck

Our thoughts about an event can have a dramatic effect on how we go through the event itself. When our expectations are low, it's easy to be pleasantly surprised. When they're not, we're vulnerable to painful disappointment. Because of this, many people spend a good deal of effort trying to avoid developing high hopes about anything. — Martha Beck

Caring for your inner child has a powerful and surprisingly quick result: Do it and the child heals. — Martha Beck

We are a time-starved people, obsessed with fitting huge achievements into our few years. In the process, we often fill our buckets with things that don't matter or work. But when we give up on trying to change what can't be changed, and simply embrace what we love, a miracle occurs. We notice that the moment to be happy has already arrived. It's here, now. — Martha Beck

Your individuality is the most valuable thing you have. — Martha Beck

Denial exists because human infants, though equipped with trust-o-meters, are built to trust, blindly and absolutely, any older person who wanders past. — Martha Beck

As a life coach, I love makeovers, from new clothes to surgery, pedicures to highlights. But redoing makes you feel better only if approached with the right attitude. — Martha Beck

Do whatever it takes to convey your essential self. — Martha Beck

There's tons of magic in the world, and it's all science. — Martha Beck

Silence comes in two varieties: One that nourishes and comforts; another that chokes, smothers, and isolates. Solitary confinement is the worst kind of imprisonment we can inflict on fellow humans, and if you are forced to keep silent about some dark secret, you live in solitary confinement. Without the bridge of communication connecting you to other human beings, you can't share your burdens, can't receive comfort, can't confirm that you still belong. Silence is the abyss that separates you from hope. — Martha Beck

Having fun is not a diversion from a successful life; it is the pathway to it. — Martha Beck

My dog has the intellectual capacity of a lime wedge, yet even he possesses an elaborate set of assumptions, based on his ability to control my behavior through a combination of slavish devotion and incessant howling. — Martha Beck

What would you do if you knew that every good thing in your life depended on your getting enough rest? Because it does. — Martha Beck

Only since the Industrial Revolution have most people worked in places away from their homes or been left to raise small children without the help of multiple adults, making for an unsupported life. — Martha Beck

Do something today that you think is too delicious,
too selfish, too wacky to fit within the rules of your life. — Martha Beck

Explorers depend on the North Star when there are no other landmarks in sight. The same relationship exists between you and your right life, the ultimate realization of your potential for happiness. I believe that a knowledge of that perfect life sits inside you just as the North Star sits in its unaltering spot. — Martha Beck

The shortness of life, which we all discuss, but which is very clear to me at the moment, makes keeping and spreading a joyful peace more crucial than ever before. Let us keep our minds on what matters, which is our work, which is astonishment and gratitude. From this quiet magic comes a power for all other new years wishes to come true. — Martha Beck

Anyone who comes into your life, under any circumstances, has something to teach you. — Martha Beck

There are several ways to mess up your life by fighting to make your calendar age match your felt age. I live in the Southwest, a part of the country with more than its share of fair skies, material wealth, and people who are trying not to be as old as they are. — Martha Beck

Bad habits fill needs, so find good alternatives for them. — Martha Beck

Although beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, the feeling of being beautiful exists solely in the mind of the beheld. — Martha Beck

Somewhere in there, among the worries, questions, advice and advertising jingles, lives your intuition, your true 'inner voice.' You can hear it to the extent that you give it your attention. — Martha Beck

Don't expect the future to look like the past. Clear away expectations, and let yourself picture a wild, grand new world. — Martha Beck

The more you claim your own destiny, the easier it will be to love unconditionally . — Martha Beck

Though we often see life troughs as the universe's conspiracy to ruin us, they're actually our own true nature inviting us to lay down our weary heads. — Martha Beck

Where your attention goes, your life goes. — Martha Beck

To be really productive, it's as important to rest when we're tired as it is to work when we're inspired. — Martha Beck

This very moment of your life, if you experience it fully, will show you astonishing wonders and exquisite delights. — Martha Beck

If you want to end your isolation, you must be honest about what you want at a core level and decide to go after it. — Martha Beck

Western democracies exalt the ideal of social equality, but our economic system arguably emerged from 16th-century Calvinism, a religion whose members believed that God showed favor by bestowing wealth and other forms of success on what they called 'the chosen.' — Martha Beck

Something in the human psyche confuses beauty with the right to be loved. The briefest glance at human folly reveals that good looks and worthiness operate independently. Yet countless socializing forces, from Aunt Clara to the latest perfume ad, reinforce beliefs like 'If I were pretty enough, I would be loved.' — Martha Beck

If you're a bit spongy, vulnerable to the unsettling energy of others, count yourself lucky. You've been given an incentive to armor up, to consciously screen out the ubiquitous stresses that afflict humanity. — Martha Beck

Anger elicits anger, fear elicits fear, no matter how well meaning we may be. — Martha Beck

Whenever you go somewhere that speaks to your soul, you are going home to yourself. — Martha Beck

The thing I love most about my job is watching people age backward, becoming more lively and energetic as they free themselves from situations that are toxic to their essential selves. — Martha Beck

Whether you've seen angels floating around your bedroom or just found a ray of hope at a lonely moment, choosing to believe that something unseen is caring for you can be a life-shifting exercise. — Martha Beck

Instead of fretting about getting everything done, why not simply accept that being alive means having things to do? Then drop into full engagement with whatever you're doing, and let the worry go. — Martha Beck

It's only by starting in a place of peace that we find our purpose and power. — Martha Beck

All mental hygiene is based on the core practice of doing nothing. Most of us are good at wasting time, staring at the wall while telling ourselves we should be working. We call this doing nothing, but our brains are furiously active. We think constantly, and our thinking is often rife with distress. — Martha Beck

I explain to everyone I deal with-co-workers, children, friends-that I'm transitionally challenged and they should call me on my cell phone if I'm even a few minutes late. Such calls often come in when I'm happily writing or rearranging the furniture. The monochrones in my life are so organized, they have no trouble remembering to remind me to show up. — Martha Beck

The past doesn't exist except as a memory, a mental story, and though past events aren't changeable, your stories about them are. You can act now to transform the way you tell the story of your past, ultimately making it a stalwart protector of your future. — Martha Beck

Almost all my middle-aged and elderly acquaintances, including me, feel about 25, unless we haven't had our coffee, in which case we feel 107. — Martha Beck

You're exactly where you're meant to be, meandering along a crooked path. — Martha Beck

People who get what they want tend to be the ones who make the effort to KNOW what they want — Martha Beck

Trust in your truth. It will be the best decision you ever make. — Martha Beck

The heart is a tender but hardy organ. Daring to have a wonderful experience, even though you may get hurt, is the only way you'll realize its deepest desires. — Martha Beck

You can't stay well without telling
and living
the truth. — Martha Beck

I fell in love with Africa and began helping people fix things there. — Martha Beck

Given the eclectic and constantly shifting nature of my metaphysical inclinations, I will probably never feel certain exactly what an angel is. — Martha Beck

A designated patient 'carries' the group's dysfunction. A designated issue performs the same service for an individual, dominating our psyches so that other troubles can go unnoticed. — Martha Beck

If you're miserable, make a choice.
If you're still miserable, you can choose again. — Martha Beck

Much protective self-criticism stems from growing up around people who wouldn't or couldn't love you, and it's likely they still can't or won't. In general, however, the more you let go of the tedious delusion of your own unattractiveness, the easier it will be for others to connect with you, and the more accepted you'll feel. — Martha Beck

Many of us assume that we have to do things a certain way: ignore passion in favor of safer bets, act stoic amid inner turmoil, run on an upward trajectory of success and money acquisition at any emotional cost. But these are not rules. — Martha Beck

No one else can take risks for us, or face our losses on our behalf, or give us self-esteem. No one can spare us from life's slings and arrows, and when death comes, we meet it alone. — Martha Beck

We virtually never feel our age, but thinking that we should can lead to disaster. — Martha Beck

Your life follows your attention. Wherever you look, you end up going. — Martha Beck

Any moment you spend attacking yourself is a moment away from your higher purpose and your power to love. Don't go there. — Martha Beck

Life is full of tough decisions, and nothing makes them easy. But the worst ones are really your personal koans, and tormenting ambivalence is just the sense of satori rising. Try, trust, try, and trust again, and eventually you'll feel your mind change its focus to a new level of understanding. — Martha Beck

When I tell a woman you really need to quit your soul-sucking job, she goes home, and she can tell her husband, 'I need to quit,' and he's like, 'O.K., let's do it.' — Martha Beck

Whatever terrible things may have happened to you, only one thing allows them to damage your core self, and that is continued belief in them. — Martha Beck

You get social pressure from your parents, who teach you to pay attention to certain things and not to others. You get it in school. — Martha Beck

The way we can allow ourselves to do what we need to, no matter what others may say or do, is to choose love and defy fear. — Martha Beck

To care for someone can mean to adore them, feed them, tend their wounds. But care can also signify sorrow, as in 'bowed down by cares.' Or anxiety, as in 'Careful!' Or investment in an outcome, as in 'Who cares?' The word love has no such range of meaning: It's pure acceptance. — Martha Beck

In the pursuit of Knowledge, every day something is added. In the practice of the Way, every day something is dropped. Less and less do you need to force things, until finally you arrive at non-action. When nothing is done, nothing is left undone. — Martha Beck

Adults under threat feel like children. — Martha Beck

Your life is not little, and your playing small doesn't serve
the world. Your living large, on the other hand-your being
your true self despite fear, fatigue, doubt, and opposition-
will serve the world more than you can imagine. In fact, it
may help save it. And saving the world, after all, is
what all heroes (including you) are here to do. — Martha Beck

The repercussions of one person living in stubborn gladness are incalculable. — Martha Beck

The way to find your own North Star is not to think or feel your way
forward but to dissolve the thoughts and feeling that make you miserable.
You don't have to learn your destiny
you already know it; you just have to unlearn the thoughts that blind you to what you know. — Martha Beck

It takes about four days of virtuous living to create a little weight loss. That also happens to be the time required to get used to eating less. In other words, if you can get past day three of a fitness regimen, things improve. — Martha Beck

The knowledge of your destiny is available to you, well before
it actually happens, as a message streaming continuously from
your heart to your brain, written in the language of longing. — Martha Beck

I am free, and always have been; free to accept my own reality, free to trust my perceptions, free to believe what makes me feel sane even if others call me crazy, free to disagree even if it means great loss, free to seek the way home until I find it. — Martha Beck

I suggest Substituting Inedible Nurturance, or SIN. Don't replace overeating with virtuous work or exercise; instead, make a list of things you love, from watching TV to hanging out with favorite people. — Martha Beck

Bracketing has turned all my experiences, remembered and present, into a gallery of miracles where I wander around dazzled by the beauty of events I cannot explain. — Martha Beck

Don't fight fearful thoughts. Just match each one with an alternative thought that brings you more peace. — Martha Beck

I always felt that it was my job to try to help other people get it and deal with it. — Martha Beck

When you're weary, find relief. When you're strong, find delight. — Martha Beck

I cannot count the times I've been defeated, humiliated, or physically injured immediately after saying the words, 'Hey, how hard can it be?' But that never seems to stop me from saying them again. — Martha Beck

In the moments I get it right, every step I take seems to be matched by a universal mystery, which obligingly, incredibly, creates what I can't. — Martha Beck

My deep belief is that all of us have the same lifelong work: to learn honesty, courage, and love. To learn, in other words, how to be our best selves. — Martha Beck

The pretty girls get all the good stuff. Oh, God. So not true. I unlearned this after years of coaching beautiful clients. Yes, these lovelies get preferential treatment in most life scenarios, but there's a catch: While everyone's looking at them, virtually no one sees them. — Martha Beck

Sometimes a psychic tells you something and it feels wrong and others may be right on the money. It's your choice about whom to trust, and giving that trust is something we do ourselves. — Martha Beck

If you find yourself getting nervous stop and relax for three full breaths. Then take one small step, then another. That is how people get to the top of Everest. — Martha Beck

A lot of my clients say they don't deserve to mope about their sad little memories while children are starving in India. I say that just because your broken arm isn't as serious as someone else's gut wound, that doesn't mean your injury isn't excruciating or doesn't require attention. If you want to help the Indian children, or make the world a better place in any other way, you have to start by becoming whole yourself. — Martha Beck