Mark Speed Quotes & Sayings

It would distort markets. Besides, if I bought a load of gold when I thought the price was going up, then it would drive up the price at that point. When I came to sell in the future it would depress the price. Thus, I wouldn't make the killing I thought I would, would I?"
"Yeah, but futures contracts."
"Same thing, dear boy."
"Art, then."
"If I bought Constable's Hay Wain direct from the artist it wouldn't have the same cachet as it does today. The absence of that piece from the market might mean that all of his work was devalued."
"Yeah, but you could bring another piece back."
"Ah, then the paint and canvas wouldn't age correctly. For older objets d'art, the carbon dating would show it was younger than it should be. Sorry, Kevin. You're not going to get rich by temporal smuggling or speculation. — Mark Speed

You said these guys are your cousins? Is that, like, for real? It's, like, not a turn of phrase?"
"What on earth do you mean?"
"Well, I refer to my bluds as cuz, sometimes. Is it like that, or is they real blood relatives?"
"Yes, four of them are cousins. One of them is my twin brother. I'm sure you can guess who."
"Who?"
"Yes."
"No, who?"
"Exactly." The Doctor's gaze was in some far-off place, his voice low and monotone. "He was always the troublesome one. He instigated the rift, cemented the separation. Blabbed to the Beeb. I can never forgive him for that. Never. — Mark Speed

Let me do the talking, but follow my lead," said the Doctor. "You're my assistant. Your area of expertise is car mechanics."
"But I don't know the first thing about cars."
"Then you should be working at your local garage."
"What?"
"You'd fit in perfectly and earn a fortune on repeat business."
"I don't get you."
"That was humour, Kevin. I do it sometimes. — Mark Speed