Marian Keyes Quotes & Sayings

Like I always say, there's a time and a place for spontaneity. — Marian Keyes

Some think love can be measured by the amount of butterflies in their tummy. Others think love can be measured in bunches of flowers, or by using the words 'for ever.' But love can only truly be measured by actions. It can be a small thing, such as peeling an orange for a person you love because you know they don't like doing it. — Marian Keyes

I used to write in bed, starting when I woke up. I believe that creative work comes from our subconscious mind, so I try to keep the gap between sleep and writing as minimal as possible. — Marian Keyes

but I couldn't get through the day wearing clothes belonging to elderly people. I am not Alexa Chung — Marian Keyes

If you lose someone, you feel a loss, then after a while you fill in the hole in your life and the loss gradually gets smaller and smaller and eventually goes away. There's a point to the pain. There's a reason and a direction. — Marian Keyes

For all of my life it was the size of my rear that caused me the most hand-wringing, but in this nearly-50 zone it is my stomach that is the problem. It seems to have broken free from its moorings and there is no knowing how far it will roam. — Marian Keyes

There's no doubt that relationships do suffer when circumstances change profoundly. — Marian Keyes

After a pause he says, 'Trust you to bring everything back to sweets.' He is a fine one to talk, him and his birds. — Marian Keyes

But to me, butterflies were slightly sneaky; all they were were moths in
embroidered jackets. And, yes, moths were creepy and their flapping wings made a nasty, papery
sound--but at least they were honest — Marian Keyes

He seemed wild and dangerous and carefree
well, he would, would'nt he? What were motorcycles and black leather pants if not the uniform of a wild, dangerous and carefree man? — Marian Keyes

Survival was an unpleasent thing to witness. — Marian Keyes

Isn't it strange that sometimes the memory of an act of kindness can cause more pain than the cruel stuff? — Marian Keyes

One day we'll all be dead, and none of this will matter
-The Brightest Star in the Sky. — Marian Keyes

Reality had run and got Sanity. — Marian Keyes

When you're a mass-market writer, people think that you can just decide 'this happens, this happens, this happens', whereas with literary writers it's coming from their soul and their core. But with me it does come from my soul and my core, and my soul and my core often go AWOL, and then I've nothing to write. — Marian Keyes

You were the one who wanted me to come here with you, so you'd better have the bloody manners to talk to me. If you wanted to flirt with someone then why did you invite me?" "Sorry, Lucy; you're right; forgive me, Lucy." He sounded humble but he certainly did not look it. "And you can knock of that naughty little boy smile," I continued. — Marian Keyes

and it mightn't be — Marian Keyes

I've been so showered in life, beyond my wildest dreams, such as having a loving partner I never thought I'd have. — Marian Keyes

Temporary Insanity had come a-knocking and I had shouted "Come on in the door is open." Luckily, Reality had come unexpectedly and found Temporary Insanity roaming the corridors of my mind unchecked, going into rooms, opening cupboards, reading my letters, looking in my underwear drawer, that kind of thing. Reality had run and got Sanity. And after a tussle, they both had managed to throw out Temporary Insanity and slam the door in his face. Temporary Insanity now lay on the gravel in the driveway of my mind, panting and furious, shouting, "She invited me in, you know. She asked me in. She wanted me there. — Marian Keyes

Talk is cheap, but look at how people behave, not at what they say. — Marian Keyes

People don't tend to employ me. I'm the wrong personality type. Or rather, people do tend to employ me for a short time and then they sack me. A film broker once told me, as she terminated my contract, that I have a misleading sort of face.
"You're pretty", she complained. "Your features are symmetrical and there was an article in Grazia that says human beings are programmed to find those with symmetrical features more pleasing to they eye. So this isn't my fault, I was simply responding to a biological imperative. You've even teeth, so when you smile, you look ... sweet, I suppose. But you're not, are you?"
"I hope not," I said.
"You see, there you go again. You're a smart-arse and you've no ability to filter your thoughts
"
"And my thoughts are often abrasive."
"Exactly."
"I'll just get my brushes and sponges and leave."
"If you would. — Marian Keyes

In the same way that the stewards on the Titanic were more concerned about the unemptied ashtrays on the bar than the enormous hole in the side of the ship which was letting in zillions of gallons of water, I too was worrying about the unimportant and ignoring the vital. Sometimes it's easier that way. Because although there was little I could do about the huge hole, it was within my power to empty an asthray. — Marian Keyes

She liked to pretend that she liked everyone, in the hope that it might help her jump the line into Heaven. — Marian Keyes

I'm proud of what I write and feel endorsed by my readers. — Marian Keyes

I went grey at 12, my eyesight went at 17. I've been a crock from very early on. — Marian Keyes

Having to be nice to people, which, as everyone knows, is the toughest job in the world — Marian Keyes

I sighed. What is life but fleeting moments of happiness strung together on necklace of despair? — Marian Keyes

Todays uplifting phrase is love your body exactly as it is. Yout think it is imperfect and you're right, but its only goning to get worse. — Marian Keyes

Besides, I'd seen a really nice pair of shoes yesterday in the mall and I wanted them for my own. I can't describe the feeling of immediate familiarity that rushed between us. The moment I clapped eyes on them I felt like I already owned them. I could only suppose that we were together in a former life. That they were my shoes when I was a serving maid in medieval Britain or when I was a princess in ancient Egypt. Or perhaps they were the princess and I was the shoes. Who's to know? Either way I knew that we were meant to be together. — Marian Keyes

But Lucy, I've no money."
I put my face up to his and smiled.
He smiled back.
"Frankly my dear," I beamed, "I don't give a damn."
I had always wanted to say that. — Marian Keyes

I hated this business of being grown-up. I hated having to make decisions where I didn't know what was behind the door. I wanted a world where heroes and villains were clearly labeled. — Marian Keyes

My truth is that what doesn't kill you makes you weaker rather than stronger, although it makes you wiser. — Marian Keyes

I did all kinds of reckless things that look great if you're driving a fast car. I pulled away form traffic lights with a roar, leaving the other drivers staring bitterly after me - that was called "burning them up" said Daniel. I drove out in front of other cars - Daniel said that was called "cutting them up" and while we were stuck in a traffic jam, I winked and smiled at attractive men in other cars - Daniel said that was called "acting like a brazen trollop. — Marian Keyes

I never wear flats. My shoes are so high that sometimes when I step out of them, people look around in confusion and ask, "Where'd she go?" and I have to say, "I'm down here. — Marian Keyes

You have the look of someone who'll die under general anaesthetic while having liposuction. — Marian Keyes

Before I knocked the antidepressant back, I had a little word with it. Work, I urged. Take away this awful, awful feeling. — Marian Keyes

I'd rather dig a ditch than go to a dinner party with people I don't know. — Marian Keyes

The landscape of the desert changes very gradually as little breezes lift grains of sand and move them, sometimes a few feet, sometimes miles and miles, so that at the end of the day, when the sun sets, the face of the desert is completely different from the landscape it had in the morning when the sun rose on it. — Marian Keyes

Didn't go in, just hovered outside like homeless person because (a) place was too small and Detta would have spotted me, and (b) once you're through doors of shop like that, if you try to leave without buying anything, they shoot you in the back with sniper's rifle. — Marian Keyes

Minsk! How pissed-off that sounded! It was great. You could scare the bejayzus out of someone if you said it right. — Marian Keyes

Honestly, if you're looking for love and you're not too choosy, hang around a hardware store fingering screws. — Marian Keyes

Because you promised? But you've promised me load of things. Like to cherish me and to love till death do us part. — Marian Keyes

I've kind of realised life is meant to be tough and everybody is in psychic and spiritual discomfort of some sort and has a burden to carry. I've realised I'm not special. — Marian Keyes

Even she couldn't believe she'd spent so much money on household appliance. Money that she could just as easily have spend on handbags or bottles of wine. The only conclusion she could draw was that she was finally grown-up. Which was funny because in her head she was still sixteen and trying to decide what to do when she left school. — Marian Keyes

I don't like this idea of division: that if you're a clever woman then you've got to be a particular way. Because men don't. Men please themselves. — Marian Keyes

Hen nights should be banned. You're honour-bound to behave atrociously, then feel terribly ashamed afterwards.
(This Charming Man) — Marian Keyes

I employ this thing I called The Shovel List."
"A shovel..?"
"No, a shovel list. It's more of a conceptual thing. It's a list of all the people and things I hate so much I want to hit them in the face with a shovel. — Marian Keyes

I wanted to show her how disgusted I was by not eating a thing, but a chocolate cookie is a chocolate cookie. — Marian Keyes

The old Chinese proverb springs to mind - No pain, no gain. — Marian Keyes

I know of people who don't believe it, but depression is an illness, but unlike, say, a broken leg, you don't know when it'll get better. — Marian Keyes

However, often when fatal things are happening, you don't know at the time that they're fatal. You get an inkling that they're Not Good, that they Haven't Helped, but only the passage of time will reveal just how bad they are. — Marian Keyes

I loved being in my own head so much, it was getting harder and harder being with other people. — Marian Keyes

I'm not looking for pity, I'm really not, but I'm constantly uneasy and every day it is pretty much like getting up and going to war. Once I shift into the mindset of 'Yeah, you're alive. It's tough. Let's do what we can today,' it's easier. — Marian Keyes

I am different when my nails are done. I am more dynamic. I gesticulate more, I am better at scaring my staff. I can indicate impatience by drumming on tabletops and I can wrap up a meeting with a few choice clatters. — Marian Keyes

The back windows looked out over the fields, then the Atlantic, maybe a hundred yards away. Actually, I'm just making that bit up. I had no idea how far away the sea was. Only men could do things like that. "Half a mile." "Fifty yards." Giving directions, that sort of thing. I could look at a woman and say "Thirty-six C." Or "Let's try it in the next size up." But I had no idea how far away Tim's sea was except that I wouldn't want to walk to it in high heels. — Marian Keyes

I forced myself to stop thinking about it. I went to the room in my brain where all my thoughts about Adam lived and disconnected the electricity and boarded up all the doors and windows, so nothing could get out.
Obviously it was very unsightly. There were bound to be complaints from the neighboring thoughts. But I had no choice. — Marian Keyes

I am more of an ambler. I once overheard my old boss in Dublin describe me as very "hello trees, hello flowers." It was intended as an insult and it fulfilled its brief; I was insulted. I had little interest in greeting trees and flowers but nor did I treat life as a treadmill, on which it was vital to keep fleeing forward in order to avoid being sucked off the back and out of the game. — Marian Keyes

I suppose I wanted to have my cake and eat it.
But then again, what were you going to do with your cake if not eat it?
Frame it?
Use it as a sachet in your underwear drawer? — Marian Keyes

I love Prada. Not so much the clothes, which are for malnourished thirteen-year-olds, but I covet, with covety covetousness, the shoes and handbags. Like, I LOVE them. If I was given a choice between world peace and a Prada handbag, I'd dither. (I'm not proud of this, I'm only saying.) — Marian Keyes

A large battalion of my thoughts was marching determinedly on its way to Annoyance but it was distracted and took a wrong turn at Adam and found, to its surprise, that it had ended up in the entirely different destination of Dreamy Contentment. — Marian Keyes

Caviar is strange and disgusting. That popping texture, its like Space Dust for gourmets. — Marian Keyes

Regardless of the gender of the highest wage earner, the balance of power in the relationship will suffer if the higher earner uses control of the purse strings as a system of reward and punishment. It will also suffer if the lower earner takes a chippy, haughty attitude to spending money they haven't actually generated themselves. — Marian Keyes

Nothing sinister. Just getting exercise. Although some might consider that sinister. — Marian Keyes

paths would have already crossed — Marian Keyes

I awake. I don't mean to but clearly I have not appeased the Sleep Gods with enough offerings. — Marian Keyes

I knew it, I just knew it! The person who had the job of writing my life's dialogue used to work on a very low budget soap opera. — Marian Keyes

Ireland?" "Small wet place across the Irish Sea," Barry offered kindly. "Where they drink a lot?" Lisa said faintly. "And they never stop talking. That's the place. — Marian Keyes

Sometimes you get what you want and sometimes you get what you need and sometimes you get what you get. — Marian Keyes

No one can make us feel any way unless we let them. — Marian Keyes

The feel of them (books) and the smell of them. A bookshop was like an Aladdin's cave for me. Entire worlds and lives can be found just behind that glossy cover. All you had to do was look. Claire (Watermelon) — Marian Keyes

I think there is pressure on people to turn every negative into a positive, but we should be allowed to say, 'I went through something really strange and awful and it has altered me forever.' — Marian Keyes

You only grow up by living through the shit that life throws at you — Marian Keyes

He's a waiter, not a Mafia stooge, so what's he going to do? Blac pepper them to death? Compliment them into a coma? Run them over with the dessert trolley? — Marian Keyes

20:11 At what time is it acceptable to go to bed? I suspect nothing short of 10 p.m. will do. Okay, I can wait until 10 p.m. 20:14 I go to bed. I am my own person. I can do as I please. I am not hidebound by the silly, bourgeois rules of our society. — Marian Keyes

That's like the dog calling the cat's arse hairy! — Marian Keyes

So I'm back again to the eternal question, the one that has plagued me all my life: How Do Other People Do It? How come they were given life's rule book and I missed out? Where was I when God was dispensing capability and cop on? Looking at shoes, probably. — Marian Keyes

Men can be men and still get excited about other men kicking a ball around and they're never mocked, whereas it's easy for women to take mocking on board, to be belittled. Because we're used to it. — Marian Keyes

when we're in emotional pain, we think it's a mistake, something that needs to be remedied. 'We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and fall apart. Then they come together and fall apart again. It's just like that. — Marian Keyes

The stars are always there, even in the daytime. Sometimes we just can't see them. — Marian Keyes

Mum insists on calling Sat Nav "the Talking Map," like she's a medieval peasant who believes in witchcraft. — Marian Keyes

If it was that beautiful, why did I leave you — Marian Keyes

I'm quite introverted but I'm not shy. — Marian Keyes

Here's how it is: I feel guilty about every single bite of food that goes into my mouth. — Marian Keyes

Human touch is as important as water and food and air and laughter and new shoes. — Marian Keyes

Fights are part of life, far better to learn to live with them. — Marian Keyes

I couldn't stand to be alone. But there was no one that I wanted to be with. And no matter where I was, I wanted to be somewhere else. No matter who I was with, no matter what I was doing, no matter where I was, it was wrong, I didn't want it. Every night, I sat with crowds of people and I felt totally alone. — Marian Keyes

People get sick and sometimes they get better and sometimes they don't. And it doesn't matter if the sickness is cancer or if it's depression. Sometimes the drugs work and sometimes they don't. Sometimes the drugs work for a while and then they stop. Sometimes the alternative stuff works and sometimes it doesn't. And sometimes you wonder if no outside interference makes any difference at all; if an illness is like a storm, if it simply has to run its course and, at the end of it, depending on how robust you are, you will be alive. Or you will be dead. — Marian Keyes

I've never made a secret of the fact that I'd have loved to have children. — Marian Keyes

Expectations are merely disappointments under construction.') As — Marian Keyes

It was only when the salt water of my tears ran into my cuts and made them sting
that I discovered I was crying. — Marian Keyes

When God closes one door, He slams another in your face — Marian Keyes

As if, within their high-pitched cries and songs, there are coded threats. 'Sometimes you get what you want and sometimes you get what you need and sometimes you get what you get.' Extract — Marian Keyes

It is my honour to act as your ceiling — Marian Keyes

My mother is the best storyteller. And her mother was too. — Marian Keyes

Why do we have such a finite capacity for pleasure but an infinite one for pain? — Marian Keyes

Desserts. I ordered banoffee pie. — Marian Keyes

People promise to stick with their spouse 'for richer or poorer' but it's the 'for poorer' part that causes the worry. The big shock is that the 'for richer' bit can also cause problems. — Marian Keyes

It never rains but it damn well pours and I was afraid I'd be washed away in the deluge. — Marian Keyes

If it is made with love, the imperfect becomes perfect. — Marian Keyes

Many nations use language simply to convey information, but it's different in Ireland. With most conversational exchanges you get an 'added extra' like the free little biscuit you sometimes get with a cappuccino in a fancy coffee place. — Marian Keyes