Katie MacAlister Quotes & Sayings

Stop lusting after my brother, wife." Elliott said without looking up from where a laptop sat on a large desk. "Else I'll have to get the parrot out. — Katie MacAlister

What, you think that just because we're demons, we don't like to stay current with world events? You think we don't like to be entertained? We're demons, not Nazis! — Katie MacAlister

Saer is a great big poop, and you shouldn't listen to anything he says," I said, panting just a little.
"Obviously, he was trying to demoralize me."
"Men who are poops demoralize people all the time," I agreed — Katie MacAlister

Are you going to last if I start nibbling at your ankles and work my way up?"
"No. You might make it to my knee, but only if I think about starving children and venereal warts. — Katie MacAlister

Crutches may be a pain in the (pinched nerve back) ass to use, but damn, they are handy when your dog pushes open the bathroom door while you are contemplating life. They're also handy to turn on lights just out of your reach, and to threat your husband with if he doesn't fetch you a Fresca because you are a poor, pathetic little thing huddled under a Snuggy, unable to walk without bellowing profanities at the top of your lungs, thereby scaring your dogs, the fat squirrel stuffing his face on the deck, and the manic depressive goats that live three houses down. — Katie MacAlister

Would you like me to turn over so you can see my other side?" Raphael asked.
"Would you?" Roxy breathed hopefully. — Katie MacAlister

Don't think I'm not holding you responsible for this, either, you witch!"

"I think you lefth the B off that word," Jim said. — Katie MacAlister

You taste of the cool water that hides deep in a stream. You taste of the night air, soft and scented and mysterious. The taste of you drives me wild. I want to be with you, be inside you, shout to the world that you are mine at the same time I want to keep you hidden where you will exist only for me. You make me feel invincible, little bird. — Katie MacAlister

Mimes! You can't tell me the devil doesn't have anything to do with mimes!-Paula, Holy Smokes — Katie MacAlister

Noble!" "What?" He was annoyed at her interruption. Didn't she understand that he was trying to help her organize her life into something satisfactory? "I am not the one chained naked to my mistress's bed with a broken man part. — Katie MacAlister

Are you threatening me?" He looked completely outraged at such a thing.
"You bet your incredibly attractive and probably hard enough to bounce a quarter off ass I am!" she snapped back.
An indescribable look flitted across his face. "You are the most irreverent woman I've ever met."
"And you're the handsomest man I've ever seen in my life, but that doesn't mean I'm going to lick you!" she yelled. — Katie MacAlister

You are mine, Aisling. You are mine today, tomorrow and five hundred years from now. You will always be mine. I do not give up my treasures, kincsem. You would do well to remember that. — Katie MacAlister

It was alright to be afraid of something, as long as you didn't let the fear control you. — Katie MacAlister

Well, if it isn't Puff the Magic Dragon — Katie MacAlister

Hoo! You're like a giant mood ring! I wonder if I can make different colors show up depending on where i touch you
- Nell Harris — Katie MacAlister

Jim pushed against my leg to peer inside. "Well, now, there's a sight you don't see every day."

"Voulez-vous cesser de me cracker dessuspendant que vous parlez," I said, my heart pounding wildly.

"There's the spitting-in-my-face saying," Jim said softly to itself.

"J'ai une grenouille dans mon bidet!" I growled.

"And the frogs."

"T'as une tete afaire sauter les plaques d'egouts," I wailed.

"Face like a manhole cover. Can merde be very far behind?"

"Merde!" I bellowed.

"You can say that again," Jim said. — Katie MacAlister

He looked at my lips. I suddenly found myself wanting to lick his. 'Yes,' he replied, his eyes going molten. My breath caught in my throat as he reached out and brushed a strand of hair where it had flown across my cheek. 'I believe we do have unfinished business.' 'Good.' I gulped, suddenly one big mass of tingling body parts that wanted an immediate introduction to all of his body parts. I tried to slam down a mental barrier between his mind and mine, but it did no good. The cheerleaders in my groin were setting up fundraising car washes to finance a field trip to his groin. — Katie MacAlister

So let me get this straight
May's a virgin, lesbian, doppleganger, wyvern's mate? — Katie MacAlister

I have sieged many a castle in my day, m'lady, but my attack on your keep will be the sweetest of all."
She giggled as I kissed every inch of her face. "Oh, we're doing medieval now? Okay, I can do that. I've been to a Renaissance Faire. Avast ye varlet! No quarter!"
"That was piratical, dearling, but we'll go with it if you like. Lower your gangplanks and prepare to be boarded!"
-Dane and Megan (Stag Party) — Katie MacAlister

Oh, lovely. Magical zombies have stolen my valknut. — Katie MacAlister

I love you, Brynna. I will love you until the day I breathe my last. You belong to me, and I will make you the happiest of women. Now take off all your clothes, and pretend you are a Celtic princess about to be marauded by an incredibly virile Viking studmuffin.
-Alrik to Brynna — Katie MacAlister

What's a friend for if not to face almost certain death with, eh? — Katie MacAlister

I didn't say he wasn't a good employer, just that he's not going to be awarded a Sane Person of the Year award. — Katie MacAlister

How many toes did I have when we left London, does anyone remember?" Jim asked, examining its feet. "I think one is missing."
"Stop fussing about a missing toe. We have more important things to focus on, like finding Drake and saving him from whatever trouble he's in," I answered, straightening my clothing and zipping up my heavy parka.
"Oh, man, I am missing one! I know I had four on this foot! What sort of place was that company you used, demon-haters or something?"
"Budget Teleporters is a perfectly good company. Didn't you listen to their warning about keeping your arms and legs in the portal at all times? — Katie MacAlister

I'll drive. But don't you be turning into a dragon while you're in the car. I don't want those claws poking holes in my nice upholstery. — Katie MacAlister

Yeah. I know. How stupid is it to French kiss a vampire and not expect sharp teeth? — Katie MacAlister

If I thought he had magic fingers, his lips were candidates for the Houdini Hall of Fame. — Katie MacAlister

I was born. It was easy. My mother did all the hard work. — Katie MacAlister

You do not interrupt a man when he is explaining his master plan after having been soundly defeated. Don't you watch any James Bond Movies? — Katie MacAlister

My heart sobbed a lament that was hard to ignore. — Katie MacAlister

What do you know about dragons?"
"They're big, scaly, four-legged creatures with wings who terrorized small villages until a virgin was offered up as a sacrifice."
His grinned again. "I do miss the virgins. — Katie MacAlister

Well, possibly," I said, feeling my lips twitch again. "But maybe first you would tell us why you chose to manifest yourself in the form of Shirley Temple as last seen on the 'Good Ship Lollipop'?"
The demon twirled around, its big pink sash fluttering as it smoothed down its dress and frilly little petticoat. "My grotesque form isn't making you sick with fright?"
We both shook our heads, Noelle with a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing out loud. "Shirley Temple at her pinnacle was frightening," I finally told it, "but not in the sense I think you mean. — Katie MacAlister

Carrie Fay always says that nothing is really horrible unless it eats away your face. — Katie MacAlister

You've experienced the single scene out there - it's blood test and background checks and references and 'Please pee in this cup before we can go on a date' screenings, all clinical and stripped bare of any romance. — Katie MacAlister

Women ... They insist on being loving and kind and caring, and why do they do that? To make a man feel guilty, that's why. And then they lure innocent men who are busy with important scientific research into impregnating them, and then said busy men end up caring about said spawn. And these ladies smell good, too. Deliberately. The wenches. — Katie MacAlister

I'm wondering why I thought it was a good idea to fill my purse with eggs."
He blinked at me.
I pulled a cold, flabby fried egg from mny bag, followed by its twin, holding them up so he could see. "Eggs."
"You couldn't carry a packet of peanuts like a normal person?" he asked.
I smiled. "I've never done normal particularly well ... — Katie MacAlister

Yeah, I'm really worried. OK, so what's left on the big, big list of things I have to get done before I go insane or the world comes to end, whichever comes first? — Katie MacAlister

He made a tck noise in the back of his throat. It expressed all sorts of annoyance and impatience, with just a smidgen of an implied eye roll. — Katie MacAlister

I am, in general, an easygoing person. I try to take a reed-bending-with-the-wind attitude toward life, rather than fight everything. But these constant "out of the frying pan, into the fire, into a worse fire, into a worse fire than the worse fire before it" situations that had been riddling my life of late were beginning to wear me down — Katie MacAlister

What do you know about women?
They smell nice, they don't like to be told they can't do something, and, when they're naked, they hold some sort of mystical power that overrides our brains and makes us do and say things that would normally be inconceivable. — Katie MacAlister

There's a bit of a difference between a guy lying back being all sexy and come hither and mmrowr-worthy, and a man who has a toy stuffed parrot hanging from his nips. — Katie MacAlister

Elliot - Elliot waved absently, making a decision right then and there. He'd take the trip that Patrick offered. A cruise down Europe's most famous rivers couldn't be any more disruptive than home, after all.
Alice -I stood up shaking the laptop at nothing. "He made me think we were going to get married at the end of this trip! He had me look up the laws for Americans getting married in Budapest!"
"Ball-hanging is too good for him. He serves something worse. Off with his head!"
"I will take that trip!" I yelled at the small living room filled with boxes that I had yet to unpack. "And I will enjoy myself! A lot! — Katie MacAlister

His laughter echoed through my mind. I have a beautiful woman in my arms, and am taking her back to my home, where she and I will be alone and able to indulge whatever fantasies we choose. What is there not to enjoy? — Katie MacAlister

I walked over to Drake and stomped on his foot. Hard. "What will I give you to
help me? What will I give you?"
He stood on one leg rubbing his foot, grinning a grin so steamy, it almost melted
my underwear. "I never doubted you would defeat her. You are my mate. You
could do no less."
I pointed a finger at him. "You are too arrogant for your own good. I officially
de-mate you. Go away. I never want to see you again. Except maybe tonight.
Naked. Your place. But after that, no more. — Katie MacAlister

I rubbed my forehead. 'And just why do you expect Neptune to listen to me?'

'He'll listen because you're you, Mayling! You're important now! You're a celebrity!'

'What on earth are you talking about?' I rubbed my forehead again. One of the side effects of speaking with Cyrene was a tendency to headaches. 'I'm no celebrity.'

'Sure you are. You're all they talk about at the clubs - the dragon's mate who is also consort to a demon lord. It's almost as good as what happened to Aisling, although you don't have a demon like she has.'

'I have you,' I said with irony that I knew would completely bypass Cyrene.

'And obviously that's much more cool,' she agreed. 'That's why I want you to talk to Neptune. — Katie MacAlister

love is life
no love , no life — Katie MacAlister

I tried to avoid looking at the dress full on, lest it burn out my retinas with its glittering hideousness. — Katie MacAlister

Yes, he is a man, so genetically he's engineered to be dense about many things, but he's not stupid. — Katie MacAlister

I don't like this."
"I know you don't, my little spaetzel. But I am too worn out to run from both the police and your murderous twin, and Damian's looking peaky, plus Christian did apologize for trying to kill us earlier."
"I wasn't talking about that. It's your lamentable habit of using completely unsuitable love names for me that gives me grief," Adrian groused. "I am not a lambypie, nor am I a spaetzel. — Katie MacAlister

I felt like I was ten again and had been caught using my uncle's Cuban cigars as miniature canoes in the toilet. — Katie MacAlister

Aryans?" I asked, thinking I must have heard the word incorrectly.
Christian and Allie nodded.
"Aryans as in white supremacist, those sorts of Aryans?"
"Yes," Christian said.
"Neo-Nazis?" My mind was having a hard time grasping the idea of a power-hungry vampire leading an army of Hitler's Youth. "Skinheads and their ilk?"
"Hasi, what is it you find so unbelievable?" Adrian asked, a smile in his voice.
"Oh, I don't know. I guess I just expected that any army Saer raised would be ... you know ... the evil undead." Everyone just looked at me. "Oh, yeah, I guess you're right. Neo-Nazis are more or less the evil undead. Right. So we have Saer about to attack at any moment with a bunch of goose-stepping Nazis. Great. Anyone here do a really good Winston Churchill impression? — Katie MacAlister

You should just dump the whole saving the world plan and go with global domination. It's probably be more fun. — Katie MacAlister

Too much talking and not enough writhing in ecstasy. You will commence writhing now. — Katie MacAlister

Do they expect us to have sex right here on the kitchen table?"
Gunner, who was chewing a piece of toast, paused, considered the idea, and then shook his head. "Too messy. We'd get sugar everywhere. Plus, Cressy might walk in, and then I'd have to get her a second horse. — Katie MacAlister

And now?" I touched Baltic's cheek, drawing his attention away from tragic memories. "Is he being coldly mad now?"
"No. I thought at first he was, but I see now that the act of being raised as a shade has changed him, leached the madness out of him."
Behind us, present-day Constantine yelled, "You call me a douche canoe? I am not the douche canoe
you are. No, you are more than that
you are a douche speed-boat!"
"Most of the madness," Baltic qualified. — Katie MacAlister

Dragon form is generally reserved for mating and fighting. We found over the years that it was simply easier to blend in - physically speaking - if we resembled those around us. Do you wish to mate with me? — Katie MacAlister

It is the way of women to keep us humble, is it not? — Katie MacAlister

Are you unwell? You aren't going to vomit on me, are you?"

"That wasn't on my list of planned activities for the afternoon, no, but if you really insist, I suppose I could try for a hairball or something. — Katie MacAlister

He might be a dragon, he might be someone whose name instilled fear in other people, but boy howdy, he sure turned my crank. — Katie MacAlister

Take a look at my face. Do you see my expression? Does it scare you? It should, because this is the expression of a woman who's fallen off a horse too many times to put up with more shenanigans of the verbal variety. — Katie MacAlister

The thought struck me, as I went about my daily ablutions, that Elliot had awfully nice hair for a man who'd take someone else's ticket. It wasn't long, but had a small curl to it that made you think about running your fingers through it. "Not that I have any intention of doing so ," I told my reflection in the steam mirror. "Even if I was looking for a man, and I'm certainly not that stupid, he would be off the table. He's friend to a rat bastard." It was just a shame, too. How many bona fide lords does a girl meet? And how many of them have BBC voices, and nice faces, and curly hair that looks soft and silky and utterly gropeworthy? — Katie MacAlister

Here's the thing about horses--evidently if they hang out together a lot, they buy into this whole "best friends forever" thing, and when one of them suddenly bolts, the other feels obligated to join in the fun and frolics. — Katie MacAlister

Geez, what do I need to do, use semaphore? I told you I was unclaimed. — Katie MacAlister

It was his turn for a little bit of smoke to escape him. I leaned into Gabriel and asked softly, "Can you do that too?"

His eyes never left Kostya, but his lips parted slightly. A tiny curl of smoke emerged. For some reason, it delighted me, but that delight was short-lived — Katie MacAlister

The bottom line is, life is for living, sweetie. It's for taking chances and trying to grab up every little piece of happiness you can latch on to. — Katie MacAlister

I looked at Raphael. He looked back at me.Several parts of me that weren't on public display brought out their pompoms and began cheering. — Katie MacAlister

Do you want me to ride you like a rented mule, or do you prefer to be Mr. Missionary Position? I'm fine with wither, so it doesn't matter to me. — Katie MacAlister

I'm your Beloved, dammit! You're going to let me save your soul, and like it! — Katie MacAlister

Tully/Ysolde: "Brom?" I asked, releasing his head. He reeled backwards for a moment, his eyes huge. "Are you all right?"
Brom: "I couldn't breathe," he said, giving my boobs a wary glance. — Katie MacAlister

Sit down before you hurt your owies."
"I am a Dark One!" he said, managing to stand upright at last, ignoring the pain and tearing feeling on his left side. "We do not have owies! We have grievous, nearly fatal injuries!"
"Pia," Cora said( ... ). "Would you please get Alec a chair before he does more damage to, or topples over from, his grievous, nearly fatal injuries? — Katie MacAlister

You think I am very cute, you think me sexy, as well. I can read your thoughts, remember.
I hoisted myself up and slid across his body. You are conceited, arrogant, and domineering, everything I dislike in a man.
And you are independent, stubborn, and heedless, everything I dislike in a women.
I slid my hands under his back and kissed his dampened lips. So why is it that I love you so much?
He smiled a smug, masculine little smile and captured my legs with his.
Because I love you, and to be loved by a Dark One is enough for any woman.
I pinched him in a particularly vulnerable spot and allowed him to kiss me with all the sexy arrogance he had. — Katie MacAlister

I don't mind feeling cherished and wanted and protected, but Raphael - and Christian - were going overboard.
'What we have here is a rampant case of alpha male-itis,' I announced, glaring at Raphael. He raised one sleek brow in a 'Who? Me?' question. 'Well, guess what? I've suddenly become an alpha female, and that means I don't have to take any crap from either of you. — Katie MacAlister

I'm not at all the sort of woman who kisses strange dragons when she comes across them. — Katie MacAlister

Lady Rowena gasped in horror at the sight of Lord Raoul's majestic purple-helmeted warrior of love. — Katie MacAlister

Gunner Ainslie made a face at his sister-in-law. "'Amateur' is a bit rough, Alice. I took a degree in archaeology, after all."
She looked even more confused. "Then why are you a photographer now instead of an archaeologist?"
"Because he didn't want to be a burden to the estate like all my other siblings," his brother Elliott, the current Baron Ainslie, answered, giving his wife a squeeze. "Or so he said. Frankly, I think it was a cover so he could take pictures of unclothed women. — Katie MacAlister

No, Joy, you just think gin makes you brilliant. Gin makes you sotted. Chocolate makes you brilliant. — Katie MacAlister

I love you, hugs & kisses, smoochies galore, licks, nibbles & assorted gropages!! -Aisling said to Drake — Katie MacAlister

He's not really my man," I protested.
One fuzzy white eyebrow rose over the lens of his glasses. "You were certainly ogling him as if he was. — Katie MacAlister

Let me love you, Ysolde. Let this happen. Since I was reborn, I have lived every moment in despair because I lost you. Let me worship you now as I've longed to do all those years.
Baltic, Love In The Time of Dragons — Katie MacAlister

He flashed a grin over his shoulder at me. "Ready to be astounded?"
I eyed him. "You're not going to drop your trousers and demand I admire your gorgeous testicles, are you?"
"Not after you disparaged their beauty. — Katie MacAlister

Jim stuck his head out of the rodie. I'm not going to do this out in the open where anyone can see me!. That's unnatural! — Katie MacAlister

Just because I'm flaunting it doesn't mean you can stare for hours on end. A polite ogle is appreciated and suitable for a flaunt. Slobbering is not. — Katie MacAlister

This is insane, you know that, right? I think the dark power has warped your sense of what's smart and what's incredibly stupid."

"On the contrary, I'm being proactive and taking charge of things, dammit. You like it when I do that," I told Jim.

"I don't like it when you go stomping off to prove something, and we end up in seriously hot water."

"I always get you out before you actually boil."

"Not always," it answered, looking pointedly at its feet.

"Will you stop with the toes? You have enough of them left. — Katie MacAlister

Please keep your children at your side. Unattended children will be given a shot of espresso and a puppy.
(petting zoo sign) — Katie MacAlister

Maybe I could just James Bond my way down the cable if I draped the scarf over it, clinging to the ends as my body careened down it to safety
Careened. What an ugly word that was — Katie MacAlister

If Holland recovers consciousness, tell him we'll get him to a healer just as soon as we can," I told them. "You may not want to let him see his arm lying there, though. That's an awfully startling thing to see when you just come to your senses."
- Ysolde — Katie MacAlister

I have much power. In the days to come I will grow stronger, and I would hate for you to find yourself on the wrong side of that which cannot be avoided." "Hyperbole and mystic aggrandizement, you mean? — Katie MacAlister

I have to say that you're the last person I'd have expected would have a seventeen-year-old daughter. You're so ... " Alice stopped, suddenly looking guilty.
"Dashing?" Gunner supplied. "Debonair?"
"A bit of a dawg, actually. — Katie MacAlister

We have had this discussion before. You are my son. I love you. I will always love you. But I also love Nell, and if you give her the chance and stop rejecting her advances, she will take you into her heart as well."
"Oh, yeah, like he's going to allow me to do that," I muttered — Katie MacAlister

Honest to god, Clare, you act like the dress is more important than you being shot!"
Of course it is! It's a Versace, you idiot! Bring help! I'm going to save this dress at all costs." - Sam to Clare — Katie MacAlister

Those who play with fire should expect to be consumed by it. — Katie MacAlister

Dammit, Jim. I'm a Guardian, not a doctor. — Katie MacAlister

Drake skidded to a stop at the end of the hallway, his eyes narrow as he looked over our little group. Behind him, Pal appeared, followed by a couple of dragons I didn't recognize.

"Aisling." Drake lowered his sword and walked slowly toward us, a frown darkening his eyes. "Where have you been? And what are you wearing?"

I pinched the back of Renaldo's hand until he released his hold on my face. "To hell and back, but that's a really long story, and not one I want to go into here. This is a curtain. I'd really rather not talk about it right now,either."

"Very well. We will leave the discussion of why you are clad in drapery for another time. The challenge has started. — Katie MacAlister

A knife!" I yelled, still brandishing my pillow. "Jim, I command you to get me a gelding knife. If this guy
wants to be a stallion - "
He dissolved in a flurry of white smoke even before I could finish the sentence.
Ha! Victorious again!"
Yeah," Jim drawled while I remade the bed and fluffed up my pillows. "Aisling, two; sexy, naked men
who just want to give her the pleasure of a lifetime with no commitment, zero. — Katie MacAlister

Someone must have been in a rush to leave this morning," I told the door, trying to tamp down the major case of the willies the silent street was giving me. "Someone was just late for work, and they didn't quite close the door. That's all. There's nothing foreboding in a door that hasn't been shut all the way. There's nothing eerie in that at all. There's nothing creepy about the street ... Oh, crap. Hello? — Katie MacAlister

Stay with Aisling," Drake ordered Jim as he and Gabriel were about to leave.

"Ten four, dragon buddy."

Drake turned to his wife. "Do not do anything foolish, kincsem."

She gave him a fond but exasperated look. "Honest to Pete, dragons! Bossiest beings in the world."

Gabriel smiled at me but said nothing until he and Drake started to leave. "You'll notice I don't have to warn my mate to be careful. I have full confidence in May's abilities," he told Drake.

"She's a female American. No doubt you will soon understand the true depth of hell she can put you through — Katie MacAlister

Hmph." I pushed the button a couple more times, trying to hurry the elevator along.

"Oh, yeah, that's going to do some good. Everyone knows an elevator doesn't shift into second until you really lean on the call button."

I pressed it another fifteen times, giving Jim a triumphant smile when the green light lit above the door. "Ha! See? It does too work - oh, sorry. Didn't mean to step on your foot. — Katie MacAlister

No one likes a soused vampire! — Katie MacAlister

And then I said to her, Rachel, you're out of your ever-lovin' mind. There's no way in h-e-double-toothpicks you'd find me hookin' up with a faery, especially one of the unseelie court, no matter how well hung he is. Ya just never know with them, do ya? I hear about a witch in Quebec who crossed one of the unseelie princes, and she ended up with three breasts. Can you imagine what she goes through trying to find a bra that fits? — Katie MacAlister

I would totally support a pond scene like the one in PRIDE AND PREJUDICE, but only if you were stripped first."
He slid her a glance out of the corner of his eye. She was giving him a lascivious grin that made him feel like singing at the top of his lungs. "You have a smutty mind, Alice. It's one of the many things I admire in you. Unfortunately, we are in a holy place, and although I don't particularly hold strong religious feelings, I feel it would be insulting to the caretakers of this cathedral to give in to your lustful desires and engage in sex right her and now." He thought for a moment. "Although I have to admit it is a tempting thought ... — Katie MacAlister