Jonathan Lynn & Anthony Jay Quotes & Sayings

Jim Is there no other way?
Claire We could just say no to him.
Jim Can't risk that. Collapse of conference, collapse of backbench support, collapse of Cabinet. Collapse of my career. The biggest disaster since Dunkirk.
Humphrey I think not, Prime Minister.
Jim Name a bigger one.
Humphrey The Freedom of Information Act. — Jonathan Lynn & Anthony Jay

... a cynic is only a term used by an idealist to describe a realist. — Jonathan Lynn & Anthony Jay

I must express in the strongest possible terms my profound opposition to the newly instituted practice which imposes severe and intolerable restrictions on the ingress and egress of senior members of the hierarchy and will, in all probability, should the current deplorable innovation be perpetuated, precipitate a progressive constriction of the channels of communication, culminating in a condition of organizational atrophy and administrative paralysis which will render effectively impossible the coherent and co-ordinated discharge of the function of government within Her Majesty's United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland."
..... "You mean you've lost your key?" I asked. — Jonathan Lynn & Anthony Jay

I went on to explain that it is an honour, and also that we need a transport policy.
"If by 'we' you mean Britain, that's perfectly true," he acknowledged. "But if by 'we' you mean you and me and this Department, we need a transport policy like an aperture in the cranial cavity. — Jonathan Lynn & Anthony Jay

Clarification is not to clarify things. It is to put one's self in the clear (Sir Humphrey Appleby) — Jonathan Lynn & Anthony Jay

Paperwork is the religion of the Civil Service. I can just imagine Sir Humphrey Appleby on his deathbed, surround by wills and insurance claim forms, looking up and saying, 'I cannot go yet, God, I haven't done the paperwork. — Jonathan Lynn & Anthony Jay

Humphrey Not another czar, please, Prime Minister. In the last three years we've appointed an Enterprise Czar, a Youth-Crime Czar, a Welfare Supremo, a Pre-School Supremo, an Unemployment Watchdog, a Banking Regulator, a Science and Technology Supremo and a Community Policing Czar. If you go on like this you won't need a Cabinet.
Jim Perfect!
Humphrey Perfect? Prime Minister, we even have a Twitter Czar!
Bernard His appointment was announced as a Tweet.
Humphrey What's he supposed to achieve?
Jim The same as the others: at least twelve column inches in every paper. — Jonathan Lynn & Anthony Jay