Jen Campbell Quotes & Sayings

CHILD: Mummy, who was Hitler? MOTHER: Hitler? CHILD: Yeah. Who was he? MOTHER: Erm, he was a very bad man from a long time ago. CHILD: Oh. How bad? MOTHER: He was like ... he was like Voldemort. CHILD: Oh! That's really, really bad. Mother: Yes. CHILD: (Pause) So, did Harry Potter kill Hitler, too? — Jen Campbell

These days, we've got booksellers in cities, in deserts, and in the middle of a rain forest; we've got travelling bookshops, and bookshops underground. We've got bookshops in barns, in caravans and in converted Victorian railway stations. We've even got booksellers selling books in the middle of a war.
Are bookshops still relevant? They certainly are.
All bookshops are full of stories, and stories want to be heard. — Jen Campbell

I figure whatever I choose to create, I'll be neglecting somebody - so my art may as well make me happy. - Audrey Niffenegger — Jen Campbell

CUSTOMER: Do you have security cameras in here? BOOKSELLER: Yes. CUSTOMER: Oh. (customer slides a book out from inside his jacket and places it back on the shelf) — Jen Campbell

CUSTOMER: I'd like to buy this audiobook.
BOOKSELLER: Great.
CUSTOMER: Only, I don't really like this narrator.
BOOKSELLER: Oh.
CUSTOMER: Do you have a selection of narrators to choose from? Ideally, I'd like Benedict Cumberbatch — Jen Campbell

CUSTOMER: Do you have any Robin Hood stories where he doesn't steal from the rich? My husband's called Robin and I'd like to buy him a copy for his birthday, but he's a banker, so ... — Jen Campbell

It makes me sad that grown up books don't have pictures in them. You're brought up with them when you're younger, and then suddenly they're all taken away. — Jen Campbell

CUSTOMER: Oh, look, these books are all signed. (Pause) I wonder who signed them ? — Jen Campbell

CUSTOMER (to her friend): What's this literary criticism section? Is it for books that complain about other books? — Jen Campbell

Customer: Did Charles Dickens ever write anything fun? — Jen Campbell

Although I was always a keen library user, buying books was a different order of bliss, because I would get to live with these ones.
(A Chat with Emma Donoghue) — Jen Campbell

CUSTOMER: I'm looking for a biography to read that's really interesting. Could you recommend one?
BOOKSELLER: Sure. What books have you read and liked?
CUSTOMER: Well, I really loved Mein Kampf.
BOOKSELLER: ...
CUSTOMER: Loved is probably not the right word.
BOOKSELLER: No. Probably not.
CUSTOMER: Liked, is probably better. Yes. Liked. I liked it a lot.
BOOKSELLER: ... — Jen Campbell

They are a brilliant device for shape-shifting as we can slip into the skin of authors from other times, other cultural backgrounds, brilliant minds who give us a new perspective on life and the world - something we all need from time to time. - Cornelia Funke — Jen Campbell

CUSTOMER:Will you be open so I can buy the new Harry Potter book?
BOOKSELLER: Yep, we're having a midnight opening.
CUSTOMER: Great! What time? — Jen Campbell

You see, bookshops are dreams built of wood and paper. They are time travel and escape and knowledge and power. They are, simply put, the best of places. — Jen Campbell

CUSTOMER: Do you have this children's book I've heard about? It's supposed to be very good. It's called Lionel Richie and the Wardrobe. — Jen Campbell

CUSTOMER: OK, so you want this book?
THEIR DAUGHTER: Yes!
CUSTOMER: Peter Pan?
THEIR DAUGHTER: Yes, please. Because he can fly.
CUSTOMER: Yes, he can - he's very good at flying.
THEIR DAUGHTER: Why can't I fly, daddy?
CUSTOMER: Because of evolution, sweetheart. — Jen Campbell

CUSTOMER: These books are really stupid, aren't they?
BOOKSELLER: Which ones?
CUSTOMER: You know, the ones where animals like cats and mice are best friends.
BOOKSELLER: I suppose they're not very realistic, but then that's fiction.
CUSTOMER: They're more than unrealistic; they're really stupid.
BOOKSELLER: Well, writers use that kind of thing to teach kids about accepting people different to themselves, you know?
CUSTOMER: Yeah, well, books shouldn't pretend that different people get on like that and that everything is 'la de da' and wonderful, should they? Kids should learn that life's a bitch, and the sooner the better. — Jen Campbell

MAN: Do you have black and white film posters?
BOOKSELLER: Yes, we do. They're over here.
MAN: Do you have any posters of Adolf Hitler?
BOOKSELLER: Pardon?
MAN: Adolf Hitler.
BOOKSELLER: Well, he wasn't a film star, was he.
MAN: Yes, he was. He was American. Jewish, I think ... — Jen Campbell

Customer: Do you have any crime books involving speeding fines? — Jen Campbell

CUSTOMER (holding up a copy of a Harry Potter book): This doesn't have anything weird in it ... does it? BOOKSELLER: You mean, like, werewolves? CUSTOMER: No (whispers) - gays. BOOKSELLER: ... right. — Jen Campbell

Art and science are made when people are terrified that they are going to die. (about "Arcadia" by Iain Pears) — Jen Campbell

Customer: Where are your fictional novels? — Jen Campbell

CUSTOMER: What kind of bookshop is this?
BOOKSELLER: We're an antiquarian bookshop.
CUSTOMER: Oh, so you sell books about fish. — Jen Campbell

CUSTOMER: Is your mother around ?
BOOKSELLER: ... I run this bookshop.
CUSTOMER: Oh. Sorry. — Jen Campbell

CUSTOMER: I read a book in the sixties. I don't remember the author, or the title. But it was green, and it made me laugh. Do you know which one I mean? — Jen Campbell

CUSTOMER: Hi.
BOOKSELLER: Hi there, how can I help?
CUSTOMER: Could you please explain Kindle to me.
BOOKSELLER: Sure. It's an e-reader, which means you download books and read them on a small hand-held computer.
CUSTOMER: Oh OK, I see. So ... this Kindle. Are the books on that paperback or hardback? — Jen Campbell

CUSTOMER: I don't know why she wants it, but my wife asked for a copy of The Dinosaur Cookbook.
BOOKSELLER: The Dinah Shore Cookbook? — Jen Campbell

CUSTOMER: You know how they say that if you gave a thousand monkeys typewriters, then they'd eventually churn out really good writing? BOOKSELLER: ... yes. CUSTOMER: Well, do you have any books by those monkeys? BOOKSELLER: ... — Jen Campbell

CUSTOMER: If I were to, say ... meet the love of my life in this bookshop, what section do you think they would be standing in? — Jen Campbell

Who wouldn't want to get married in a room full of love stories? — Jen Campbell

How he described the bookshop: where the streets of the world meet the avenues of the mind. — Jen Campbell

Lignin, an organic polymer found in trees, is chemically similar to vanillin, the primary extract of the vanilla bean. So when trees are made into books and kept for long periods of time, the lignin in the paper breaks down and starts to smell like vanilla.
This is why antiquarian books, and secondhand bookshops, smell so damn good. — Jen Campbell

Perhaps that is the best way to say it: printed books are magical, and real bookshops keep that magic alive. — Jen Campbell

On the phone
Bookseller: Hello Ripping Yarns.
Customer: Do you have any mohair wool?
Bookseller: Sorry, we're not a yarns shop, we're a bookshop.
Customer: You're called Ripping Yarns.
Bookseller: Yes, that's 'yarns' as in stories.
Customer: Well it's a stupid name.
Bookseller: It's a Monty Python reference.
Customer: So you don't sell wool?
Bookseller: No.
Customer: Hmf. Ridiculous.
Bookseller: ... but we do sell dead parrots.
Customer: What?
Bookseller: Parrots. Dead. Extinct. Expired. Would you like one?
Customer: Erm, no.
Bookseller: Ok, well if you change your mind, do call back. — Jen Campbell

Customer: Do you have any medical textbooks?
Bookseller: Sorry, no. They go out of date so quickly we don't stock them, but I can order one in for you.
Customer: I'm not worried about it being in date.
Bookseller: Does your university not request you have a specific edition?
Customer: Oh, I'm not a medical student. I just want to learn how to do stitches.
Bookseller: ... Right.
Customer: Do you have a book on sewing instead? — Jen Campbell

CUSTOMER: I'm always on night shift at work.
BOOKSELLER (jokingly): Is that why you're buying so many vampire novels?
CUSTOMER (seriously): You can never be too prepared. — Jen Campbell

CUSTOMER: You know that film, Coraline?
BOOKSELLER: Yes, indeed.
CUSTOMER: My daughter loves it. Are they going to make it into a book? — Jen Campbell

And if I had a bookshop of my own? Well, it wouldn't make any money. So I am no help to anyone. But I would set it somewhere with a garden, where light poured in through the windows. Sit in the sun, I'd tell my customers. Open this book. Try it. It won't do any harm, after all, to sit a while and read. — Jen Campbell

Bookseller: Can I help at all?
customer: Yes, where's your fiction section?
bookseller: It starts over on the far wall. Are you looking for anything in particular?
customer: Yes, any books by Stefan Browning.
bookseller: I'm not familiar with him, what kind of books has he written?
customer: I don't know if he's written any. You see, my name's Stefan Browning, and I always like to go into
bookshops to see if anyone with my name has written a book.
bookseller: ... right.
customer: Because then I can buy it, you see, and carry it around with me and tell everyone that I've had a novel published.Then everyone will think I'm really cool, don't you think? — Jen Campbell

Because whether we're in the middle of the desert or in the heart of a city, or the top of a mountain or on an underground train: having good stories to keep us company means the whole world. — Jen Campbell

Steal not this book, my worthy friend,
For fear the gallows will be your end;
Up the ladder, and down the rope,
There you'll hang until you choke;
Then I'll come along and say -
'Where's that book you stole away? — Jen Campbell

CUSTOMER (to their friend): God, the Famous Five titles realy were crap, weren't they? Five Go Camping. Five Go Off in a Caravan ... If it was Five Go Down To a Crack House it might be a bit more exciting. — Jen Campbell

There aren't many things in life better than books, tea and cake — Jen Campbell

Bookshop Customer: 'Who wrote the bible?'
Customer's friend: 'Jesus. — Jen Campbell

These places are time machines, spaceships, story-makers, secret-keepers. They are dragon-tamers, dream-catchers, fact-finders, and safe places. They are full of infinite possibilities and tales worth taking home. — Jen Campbell

CUSTOMER: I'd love to write a book.
BOOKSELLER: Then you should write one.
CUSTOMER: I really don't have the time.
BOOKSELLER: I'm sure you could make time.
CUSTOMER: No, you don't get it; I really don't have the time. I had my fortune read on Monday, and the fortune teller lady said that I'm going to get knocked down by a bus next week. She said that it'll probably kill me
BOOKSELLER: ... Oh. Well, er, that doesn't sound very nice.
CUSTOMER: No, it doesn't, does it? It's really annoying, too, 'cause I'd booked a holiday for next month, and I was really looking forward to it. — Jen Campbell

Bookshops are
time machines
spaceships
story-makers
secret-keepers
dragon-tamers
dream-catchers
fact-finders
& safe places.
(this book is for those who know this to be true) — Jen Campbell

Customer: I'm looking for a book for my son. He's six.
Bookseller: How about this one - it's about-
Customer: Yeah, whatever, I'll take it. — Jen Campbell

We've always used stories as a way to pass on our history, as a way to explain things in life that we don't understand. We use them to make us feel connected to everything around us, and to help us escape to another time or place.
Bookshops across the world are full of these stories.
From travelling booksellers and undercover bookshops, to pop-up stalls and community hubs, walking into a good bookshop is like walking into another zone.These places are time machines, spaceships, story-makers, secret-keepers. They are dragon-tamers, dream-catchers, fact-finders and safe places. They are full of infinite possibilities, and tales worth taking home.
Because whether we're in the middle of the desert or in the heart of a city, on the top of a mountain or on an underground train: having good stories to keep us company can mean the whole world. — Jen Campbell

I still think that going in on that Friday afternoon and spending that money was one of the happiest experiences of my life. — Jen Campbell