Jeff Smith Quotes & Sayings

That's right, kid. Never play an ace if a two will do. — Jeff Smith

All kids draw some kind of cartoon characters. They just grow out of them, and I didn't — Jeff Smith

In the evolution of a town, neighborhood, or community, there comes a point when the decisions of the past, the conditions of the present, and the prospects for the future collide. — Jeff Smith

Fone Bone: HOLD IT! Thorn thinks Gran'ma Ben can help us get back to Boneville!
Phoney Bone: IT'S NOT WORTH IT! LET GO OF ME!
Fone Bone: Would you wait a minute?!! We can explain everything!
Phoney Bone: HELP! HELP! They've destroyed my cousin's brain!! OH MY GOSH! THey've already milked you haven't they?!! — Jeff Smith

Omit and substitute! That's how recipes should be written. Please don't ever get so hung up on published recipes that you forget that you can omit and substitute. — Jeff Smith

The way I feel about it is: Beat me or feed me, but don't tease me. It's toy food; who needs it? Serve it to toy people. — Jeff Smith

Most seafoods should be simply threatened with heat and then celebrated with joy. — Jeff Smith

I'm so hungry, comrade! It has been days since we ate those two raccoons!'
'I know comrade. I'm even beginning to wish we had some of your homemade quiche!'
'Oh comrade! Do you mean it?'
'Hey
Hey! None of that! If you ever tell anyone I said that, I'll deny it! — Jeff Smith

As I got into the animation, as I learned more about the business, I learned that you need a lot of people to do anything animated - even a short, let alone a feature film. And you need a lot of money. — Jeff Smith

Fear is the number one reason why people never live up to their potential. — Jeff Smith

If we keep him for ourselves, we can do anything we want with him!'
'OH, REALLY?! Does that include baking him in a quiche?!'
'NO, IT DOES NOT INCLUDE THAT! IT INCLUDES EATING HIM RAW!'
'That's too bad. He would've made a fine pastry filling. — Jeff Smith

I prefer the Chinese method of eating. You can do anything at the table except arm wrestle. — Jeff Smith

The design process, at its best, integrates the aspirations of art, science, and culture. — Jeff Smith

Here you go, fellas. Piping hot ... right out of the oven!'
'Is
Is that what I think it is?'
'It's your favourite! Custard pie with cheese and bacon!'
'QUICHE!'
'No, comrade!! Be strong! Monsters don't eat flakey bakery products! Get a hold of yourself!'
'But comrade, I'm STARVING! Our army has no food! We haven't eaten since the ghost circles appeared!'
'Oh well! We certainly have a lot of food Here, don't we, Teach? A Lot of Food ... '
'Oh yes, A lot of food!'
'OK! I GIVE UP! YES! YES!! GIVE US THE QUICHE!! WE'RE STARVING
— Jeff Smith

Upon your feet you have ten toes, they look just like PO-TA-TOES! — Jeff Smith

Prisoners learn how to make do with less, and many of them want to take this ingenuity that they've learned to the outside ... but there's no training, nothing to prepare them for that. — Jeff Smith

Stupid, Stupid Rat Creatures! — Jeff Smith

Slaves were taught to be fine chefs, but they endangered their lives if they made a mistake or served an ill-prepared dish. Rather than being reprimanded, they were often hauled into the dining room and flogged in the presence of the guests. — Jeff Smith

I attended the Columbus College Of Art & Design for a little while, until I realized they didn't take cartooning very seriously. — Jeff Smith

Frugal doesn't mean cheap. Frugal means that you don't waste anything. — Jeff Smith

Please understand the reason why Chinese vegetables taste so good. It is simple. The Chinese do not cook them, they just threaten them! — Jeff Smith

Feasting is also closely related to memory. We eat certain things in a particular way in order to remember who we are. Why else would you eat grits in Madison, New Jersey? — Jeff Smith

Our bellies are empty and our patience is short ... submit to us and we will make of you a great quiche!'
'Again with the QUICHE?! What kind of self-respecting monster would eat a DAINTY PASTRY DISH?! STEW is what we will make of their bones!'
'Don't get greedy on me! There's three of them! I just want the little one for my quiche!'
'It was nothing to do with greed! It's a matter of principle! MONSTERS DO NOT EAT QUICHE! — Jeff Smith

Scallops are expensive, so they should be treated with some class. But then, I suppose that every creature that gives his life for our table should be treated with class. — Jeff Smith

Phoney: Here's your problem Fone Bone! We're off the map! Get a bigger map! — Jeff Smith

How can people say they don't eat eggplant when God loves the color and the French love the name? I don't under'stand. — Jeff Smith

That's right, kid. Never play an ace when a two will do. — Jeff Smith

Prepared and fast foods have given us the time and freedom to see cooking as an art form - a form of creative expression. — Jeff Smith

I love this book! Cathy Malkasian's Percy Gloom swirls with echoes of cartoon landscapes from the past and present. You can almost hear Percy Gloom's meek, docile little voice. Her writing is so full of wit and charm that we, like the title character, walk dutifully to the edge and fall in. And like Percy, we are rewarded equally with night terrors and secret treasures. — Jeff Smith

[We need] to nurture the entrepreneurial spirit and the tremendous untapped potential in our prisons. — Jeff Smith

It's good to do something for Americans for once. — Jeff Smith

The squid is so cooperative. Its body forms a tube that can be stuffed with marvelous fillings. You don't have to be Greek to enjoy this one. — Jeff Smith

- The earth hums?
- Of course it does. What a stupid question! Don't you hear it? — Jeff Smith

Serve this dish with much too much wine for your guests, along with some cooked green vegetables and a huge salad. You will be famous in about half an hour. — Jeff Smith

Please, comrade! I just want to chop him up for the stew!'
'And that's another thing! I'm tired of stew! I want to put him in a crust and bake a light fluffy quiche!'
'QUICHE?! What kind of food is THAT for a monster to eat?! — Jeff Smith

Oops! We thought he had a gun!' So you shot me in the back three times 'cause you thought I had a gun? I was gonna sue, but they said they was gonna kill me. I was 18 years old, I didn't have nobody, I didn't have all this. They kept pickin' me up, kept lockin' my ass up, beating me, until I dropped the lawsuit. When I dropped the lawsuit, that's when everything stopped. That's what the fuck happened to me. I was terrorized by some terrorists. — Jeff Smith

I'm hungry.'
'Me too.'
'Will you get us something to eat?'
'I suppose I could take a look around. Maybe find a baby bird or a dead squirrel, or something. One word about a quiche, and I'll kill you.'
'While you're up there, try to find some nice, soft grasses we can sit on and be more comfortable.'
'Yes, comrade.
...
Here. I found some eggs to suck on.'
'Did you remember to get the grasses?'
'No. I forgot.'
'Are you going to get the grasses?'
'Can I eat first?'
'I don't know why you say you'll do things if you don't mean it.'
'I MEANT it! I just FORGOT!'
'You can get the grasses after you finish eating.'
'Thank you.'
'And try to find some water. We're going to need water if we plan on hiding out here.'
'YES COMRADE! ANYTHING ELSE?'

...

'Y'know, we could've had these eggs in a quiche! — Jeff Smith

Smiley Bone: You can't feel safe unless there's something to be safe against!
Phoney Bone: Exactly! People like to be victims! There's a certain unassailable moral superiority about it ... — Jeff Smith

CONTROL MYSELF?!! I'm a MONSTER! Monsters don't control themselves! That's the whole IDEA! — Jeff Smith

I bid you peace - said at the end of every TV episode of The Frugal Gourmet — Jeff Smith

I never graduated, but I was kind of floating between journalism and art, because neither one wanted to claim me, as a cartoonist. — Jeff Smith

I think people have a little wall they throw up real quick if they see swords and sorcery. — Jeff Smith