James C. Dobson Quotes & Sayings

In fact, it has been said that when you have sex with someone, you are actually having sex with everyone who ever slept with that individual. — James C. Dobson

Well, that brings us to the point: There is only one way to protect ourselves from the deadly diseases that stalk the human family. It is abstinence before marriage, then marriage and mutual fidelity for life to an uninfected partner. — James C. Dobson

Steps can then be taken to slow down the natural progression before it gets started. It doesn't work to allow all the preliminary intimacies and then hope to stop the progression just short of intercourse. Very few people have the willpower to do that. — James C. Dobson

What I am recommending to the unmarried person, therefore, comes straight out of the Word: Stay out of bed unless you go there alone! I know that advice is difficult to put into practice today. But I didn't make the rules. I'm just passing them along. God's moral laws are not designed to oppress us or deprive us of pleasure. They are there to protect us from the devastation of sin, including disease, heartache, divorce, and spiritual death. Abstinence before marriage and fidelity afterward is the Creator's own plan, and no one has devised a way to improve on it. — James C. Dobson

10. Comparison is the root of all feelings of inferiority. The moment you begin examining other people's strengths against your most obvious weaknesses, your self-esteem starts to crumble! — James C. Dobson

Third, it is helpful to seek advice from those who are spiritually mature and solid in their faith. A godly counselor or pastor can assist you in avoiding the common mistakes that confuse many young people. — James C. Dobson

Your most precious memories will focus on those you loved, those who loved you, and what you did together in the service of the Lord. — James C. Dobson

23. With God, even when nothing is happening...something is happening. — James C. Dobson

Whatever else you set out to do, begin by getting to know God and seeking His will in your life. If you do that, you will find Him. He will lead you. He will bless you. What a wonderful promise! But it is conditional. If you turn your back on the Lord, He will cast you off forever. — James C. Dobson

Sin has invaded God's creation, and we live now in a fallen world. — James C. Dobson

Learning how to fight properly and deciding what to fight about are two of the secrets to a successful marriage. It usually comes down to the "line of respect" one way or the other. — James C. Dobson

I read one study that indicated when a couple has been together for approximately three hundred hours, even most of those who are trying to be moral will do things they didn't intend originally. They may not even realize that is where the relationship is headed until it happens. — James C. Dobson

When you understand that everything you buy is purchased with a portion of your life, it should make you more careful with the use of money. — James C. Dobson

But we must understand that emotions are unreliable and at times, tyrannical. They should never be permitted to dominate us. — James C. Dobson

The healthiest relationships are those that "breathe"- that is, they move out from one another for a few days and then come back together for a time of closeness. — James C. Dobson

Ask yourself what you will care about when everything is on the line. — James C. Dobson

Girls are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their mothers, grandmothers, and other women in previous generations. Today's little girls are being enticed to grow up too fast and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared. — James C. Dobson

That kind of forgiveness is of God. And if they have it, they have it, and if they don't, well, maybe they'll find it someday. — James C. Dobson

Women hold the keys to masculine behavior. Guys are inclined to take what they can get and be no more accommodating than they have to be. — James C. Dobson

You don't need anger to control children. You do need action, occasionally. Furthermore, you can apply the action anywhere on the time line that is convenient, and children will live contentedly within that boundary. In fact, the closer the action moves to the front of the conflict the less punishment is required. A pinch of the trapezius muscle would not be a sufficient deterrent at the end of a two-hour struggle, whereas it is more than adequate when the conflict is minimal. — James C. Dobson

Everyday Graces: A Child's Book of Good Manners, written by Karen Santorum.[73] — James C. Dobson

Bundy was correct in saying that most serial murderers are addicted to hardcore pornography. FBI records validate that point. Not every person exposed to obscenity will become a killer, of course, but too many will! — James C. Dobson

Each year, more responsibility and freedom (they are companions) must be given to the child so that the final release in early adulthood is merely a small, final release of authority. — James C. Dobson

Highs must be followed by lows. — James C. Dobson

Beautiful, enticing, forbidden fruit will be offered to you when your "hunger" is greatest. If you are foolish enough to reach for it, your fingers will sink into the rotten mush on the back side. That's the way sin operates in our lives. It promises everything. It delivers nothing but disgust and heartache. — James C. Dobson

our objective as moms and dads is to transform our sons from "immature and flighty youngsters into honest, caring men who will be respectful of women, loyal and faithful in marriage, keepers of commitments, strong and decisive leaders, good workers, and men who are secure in their masculinity. — James C. Dobson

Harshness, gruffness, and sternness are not effective in shaping a child's will. Likewise, constant whacking and threatening and criticizing are destructive and counterproductive. A parent who is mean and angry most of the time is creating resentment that will be stored and come roaring into the relationship during adolescence or beyond. Therefore, every opportunity should be taken to keep the tenor of the home pleasant, fun, and accepting. At the same time, however, parents should display confident firmness in their demeanor. You, Mom and Dad, are the boss. You are in charge. If you believe it, the tougher child will accept it also. — James C. Dobson

As I've said, encountering death has a way of jerking your priorities into line. — James C. Dobson

Until we know who we are and why we are here, no amount of success, fame, money, or pleasure will provide much satisfaction. — James C. Dobson

And I pray that the pieces of her broken world will come back together. — James C. Dobson

Nothing in this physical world moves from disorder to order without intelligence and energy being applied to it. — James C. Dobson

Now I need to speak directly and with compassion to those who have already pushed open the door of premarital sex. The monster has been released. You've lost your virginity and may have been sexually active for years. Perhaps you've been carrying a load of guilt for doing what you knew was wrong. — James C. Dobson

Don't marry the man you can live with, but marry the man you can't live without. — James C. Dobson

Seventy-five percent of students visiting the Cowell Health Center at Stanford University describe themselves as "sexually active. — James C. Dobson

Dr. Morris believes, and I strongly agree, that couples are most likely to bond securely when they have not rushed the dating experience. Time is the critical ingredient. — James C. Dobson

The bullies literally cram their will down the throats of those who are weaker. — James C. Dobson

It has been my observation that whatever a person hungers for, Satan will appear to offer in exchange for a spiritual compromise. — James C. Dobson

Dr. Michael Gurian said it best: "Every time you raise a loving, wise, and responsible man, you have created a better world for women. Women [today] are having to bond to half-men, with boys who were not fully raised to manhood, don't know how to bond, don't know what their responsibilities are to humanity, and don't have a strong sense of service."5 Today's fathers have an opportunity to change that. — James C. Dobson

They know what they want, but aren't sure how to find it. — James C. Dobson

The Lord gave me this challenging child for a purpose. He wants me to mold and shape this youngster and prepare him or her for a life of service to Him. — James C. Dobson

37. It is better to be single and unhappy than unhappily married. — James C. Dobson

I urge all parents, but especially fathers, to work at building your daughter's self-concept throughout her childhood. Tell her she is pretty every chance you get. Hug her. Compliment her admirable traits. Build her confidence by giving her your time and attention. Defend her when she is struggling. And let her know that she has a place in your heart that is reserved only for her. She will never forget it. — James C. Dobson

Whenever you begin to conclude, "I can't win," and "What's the use?" you've set yourself up for failure. Your pessimism becomes a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy. — James C. Dobson

When you consider the many pressures that couples face today, only an iron-clad determination will hold them together for a lifetime. Those who go into marriage with a mushy commitment are likely to wobble and fall apart when the hard times come. And as we all know, hard times will come. — James C. Dobson

Second, you should examine the Scriptures for principles that relate to the issue at hand. The Lord will never ask you to do anything that is morally wrong or in contradiction to His Word. If what you are considering violates a concept you find in the Word, you can forget it. — James C. Dobson

Just continue to "walk in the light" you have been given, and leave the future in God's hands. If He is calling you to do a job, He will make it possible for you to care for your family and overcome any other barriers to that responsibility. — James C. Dobson

Despite their depressing circumstances, the Hernandez family had a certain dignity and strength about them. They were Christians, and they taught their children that God loved them and had a plan for their lives. Their little boy, David, internalized that message of hope. He never thought of himself as a victim even though he had every reason to feel cheated. His family was at the bottom of the social ladder without even a house to live in, but his worth as an individual was rooted in his faith. — James C. Dobson

Husbands and wives need to return regularly to the kinds of romantic activities that drew them together in the first place. — James C. Dobson

The best way to get children to do what you want is to spend time with them before disciplinary problems occur - having fun together and enjoying mutual laughter and joy. When those moments of love and closeness happen, kids are not as tempted to challenge and test the limits. Many confrontations can be avoided by building friendships with kids and thereby making them want to cooperate at home. It sure beats anger as a motivator of little ones! — James C. Dobson

Your generation has been the target of incredible disinformation on the subject of premarital sex, which is another enticing addictive behavior to be considered. In this instance, our own government is responsible for much of the confusion. For some thirty years, federal and state programs have promoted a concept its promoters call "safe sex," which refers to the use of condoms in sexual intercourse. Billions of dollars have been spent telling young people that they can have sex - lots of really good sex - without suffering from the consequences of it. Condoms, they say, will solve all the problems. — James C. Dobson

I wonder if He anticipates the day when He can make us understand what was occurring in our time of trial. I wonder if He broods over our sorrows. — James C. Dobson

When our little bit is combined with His greatness, the team is unbeatable. — James C. Dobson

28. Feelings are neither right nor wrong. It's what you do with them that causes the problems. — James C. Dobson

29. Most loneliness results from insulation rather than isolation. In other words, we are lonely because we insulate ourselves, not because others isolate us. — James C. Dobson

The broad principle, which appears throughout this book, bears repeating. Healthy parenting can be boiled down to those two essential ingredients: love and control. They must operate in a system of checks and balances. Any concentration on love to the exclusion of control usually breeds disrespect and contempt. Conversely, an authoritarian and oppressive home atmosphere is deeply resented by the child who feels unloved or even hated. The objective for the toddler years is to strike a balance between mercy and justice, affection and authority, love and control. — James C. Dobson

If a boy pulls up and honks for her, go out and have words with him. Explain that your daughter answers to a doorbell. — James C. Dobson

Whenever you come upon a free supply of high-quality corn, provided unexpectedly right there in the middle of the forest, be careful! The people who put it there are probably sitting nearby in a stand, just waiting to take a shot at you. Keep your eyes and ears open! — James C. Dobson

Resist the temptation to see yourself as a victim. — James C. Dobson

The family was God's idea, not our own, and it is still a wonderful institution. — James C. Dobson

A proper bond between two people is severely damaged if the process is rushed. — James C. Dobson

We have to begin giving them the whole truth about premarital sex and the difficulties it can cause. — James C. Dobson

The relationship between a guy and a girl naturally becomes more intimate as they spend time together. — James C. Dobson

It is impossible to credit one gender with every good and perfect gift without slighting the other. That's what extreme diversity does to us. — James C. Dobson

If you understand this basic concept, it becomes clear that every spending decision is a spiritual decision. Waste, for example, is not a squandering of our resources. It is a poor use of His. — James C. Dobson

Meg MacKenzie who said raising her two sons is like living with a tornado. — James C. Dobson

Lifelong pain, an unwanted pregnancy, and even death may be the reward for such a brief window of pleasure. What a foolish gamble! — James C. Dobson

Remember that pornography is dangerous. It can warp the mind and destroy sexual intimacy in marriage. Stay away from it. A monster is crouched behind that door. — James C. Dobson

Fifth and finally, do nothing impulsively. Give God an opportunity to speak. Until He does, stall for time and concentrate on the first four approaches. — James C. Dobson

The issue of respect is also useful in guiding parents' interpretation of given behavior. First, they should decide whether an undesirable act represents a direct challenge to their authority . . . to their leadership position as the father or mother. The form of disciplinary action they take should depend on the result of that evaluation. — James C. Dobson

2. Christian education places its emphasis on "unity" in relationships between people. — James C. Dobson

If we can prevent just one marriage from disintegrating--or just one child from suffering the loss of a family--our effort will be justified. — James C. Dobson

Some tragic mistakes are often made by those who acquire the reins of control before their maturity is adequate to handle it. — James C. Dobson

But before you set out to make your mark, you should ask yourself, "For whom will this be done? — James C. Dobson

Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider; girls go to college to get more knowledge. — James C. Dobson

If a girl sees herself as a lady, she will expect her escort to behave like a gentleman. He will respect her if she respects herself. — James C. Dobson

So enjoy the exhilaration when it comes. Take the ride to the heights when you get the opportunity. But don't get hooked on the thrill of the moment. Take charge of your emotions. And when it comes time to do the right thing, don't let your feelings lead you to compromise. That is the way to live a happier, more successful life and one that is more pleasing to God. — James C. Dobson

I thank God for schools that are serious about the gospel of Jesus Christ. They are vital to perpetuating our faith through your generation and beyond. — James C. Dobson

Behavior has consequences, and stupid behavior often has terrible consequences. — James C. Dobson

A related study by Licette Peterson confirmed that girls are more fearful than boys are. For example, they brake sooner when riding their bikes. They react more negatively to pain and try not to make the same mistake twice. — James C. Dobson

The validity of Solomon's message has not changed in the three thousand years since he penned it. It comes down through the corridors of time and echoes today with the authority of God Himself. Solomon tells us that the divine commandments are a "light" that will show us "the way to life." But those who would disregard them, both male and female, will suffer the painful consequences. — James C. Dobson

Diversity, rather than cohesiveness, is the new passion, and it pits us against each other for "rights. — James C. Dobson

38. "A wet bird never flies at night." (My grandfather said that to me when I was a child and warned me not to forget it. I remember his words but never did figure out what he meant!) — James C. Dobson

33. Satan will attempt to offer you whatever you hunger for, whether it be money, power, sex, or prestige. But Jesus said, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness" (Matthew 5:6). — James C. Dobson

Therefore, a search for God's will should begin on your knees. He will meet you there. Remember that Jesus promised, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you" (Matthew 7:7). — James C. Dobson

Millions of people acknowledge today that they do not know the meaning of life. — James C. Dobson

God Himself even "forgets" the wickedness committed by those whom He has forgiven. That's why it is never too late to clean up your life. — James C. Dobson

Perhaps this is why not one of 800 sexologists attending a conference raised a hand when asked if they would trust a thin rubber sheath to protect them during intercourse with a known HIV-infected person. I don't blame them. They're not crazy, after all. Yet they're perfectly willing to tell your generation that "safe sex" is within reach and you can sleep around with impunity. It is a terrible lie. — James C. Dobson

Indeed, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention calculated that 65 million people in the United States now have a sexually transmitted virus, and they will suffer from it for the rest of their lives. — James C. Dobson

Because he refused to adopt a defeatist attitude, he overcame the obstacles in his path. — James C. Dobson

He sees those tears in your eyes. He knows the desire of your heart. And you will hear from Him-just in time to take the next step. — James C. Dobson

Malkin concluded with this advice for parents: Be "prudes." Be "rude." Be "shrill." And never, ever feel ashamed for asking out loud, "Have you no shame?"[30] — James C. Dobson

2. Overcommitment and time pressure are the greatest destroyers of marriages. It takes time to develop any friendship...whether with a loved one or with God Himself. — James C. Dobson

Even in that difficult hour when he knew death was imminent, he never indulged in self-pity. He knew intuitively that a person is only a victim if he accepts himself as one. — James C. Dobson

I'm delighted to tell you that Jesus Christ offers complete and total forgiveness to anyone who will repent and believe on His name. ...There are no sins that He cannot cleanse, and He's promised that they will be gone forever. — James C. Dobson

My point is that Satan uses our keenest appetites to tempt us. — James C. Dobson

He concluded in the last scene that we are given two choices in life. We can allow ourselves to love and care for others, which makes us vulnerable to their sickness, death, or rejection. Or we can protect ourselves by refusing to love. Lewis decided that it is better to feel and to suffer than to go through life isolated, insulated, and lonely. — James C. Dobson

Indeed, we should be trying to reach out to those who don't know Jesus Christ, which is impossible in an atmosphere of hostility. — James C. Dobson

35. God is entitled to a portion of our income - not because He needs it but because we need to give it. — James C. Dobson

Nations that are populated largely by immature, immoral, weak-willed, cowardly, and self-indulgent men cannot and will not long endure. These types of men include those who sire and abandon their children; who cheat on their wives; who lie, steal, and covet; who hate their countrymen; and who serve no god but money. That is the direction culture is taking today's boys. — James C. Dobson