Gretchen Rubin Quotes & Sayings

Making. A habit requires no decision from me, because I've already decided. — Gretchen Rubin

Habit allows us to go from 'before' to 'after,' to make life easier and better. Habit is notorious - and rightly so - for its ability to direct our actions, even against our will; but by mindfully shaping our habits, we can harness the power of mindlessness as a sweeping force for serenity, energy, and growth. — Gretchen Rubin

Many people keep photos in their homes, in their office, or in their wallet, and happy families tend to display large numbers of photos at home. In 'Happier at Home,' I write about my 'shrine to my family' made of photographs. — Gretchen Rubin

I'm a creature of routine, and I hate feeling incompetent, so I avoided novelty and challenge. Making an effort to push myself in that way has brought me surprising boost. — Gretchen Rubin

Gave up Nutella in December 2011. A few years later I thought I would be able to handle the Nutella once more so I bought two jars on sale. I ate 4,000 calories of Nutella over 36 hours. — Gretchen Rubin

When we do stumble, it's important not to judge ourselves harshly. Although some people assume that strong feelings of guilt or shame act as safeguards to help people stick to good habits, the opposite is true. People who feel less guilt and who show compassion toward themselves in the face of failure are better able to regain self-control, while people who feel deeply guilty and full of self-blame struggle more. — Gretchen Rubin

We often learn most about ourselves by learning about other people, — Gretchen Rubin

Habit makes it dangerously easy to become numb to our own existence. For — Gretchen Rubin

If you've had something for more than six months, and it's still not repaired, it's clutter. — Gretchen Rubin

Behind our unremarkable front door waits the little world of our making - our home. — Gretchen Rubin

Negative emotions like loneliness, envy, and guilt have an important role to play in a happy life; they're big, flashing signs that something needs to change. — Gretchen Rubin

I always had the uncomfortable feeling that if I wasn't sitting in front of a computer typing, I was wasting my time
but I pushed myself to take a wider view of what was "productive." Time spend with my family and friends was never wasted. — Gretchen Rubin

I have a terrible memory of my own past. I can barely remember my childhood. I have few memories from college and law school - though once I got married, I got the advantage of being able to consult my husband's memory. — Gretchen Rubin

Most people enjoy 'potato-chip news' from time to time - to track a presidential election or the Oscars. However, some are particularly drawn to material that makes them feel shocked, frightened, insecure, or indignant, and that's what potato-chip news often provides. — Gretchen Rubin

I had everything I could possibly want
yet I was failing to appreciate it. Bogged down in petty complaints and passing crises, weary of struggling with my own nature, I too often failed to comprehend the splendor of what I had. — Gretchen Rubin

It's about living in the moment and appreciating the smallest things. Surrounding yourself with the things that inspire you and letting go of the obsessions that want to take over your mind. It is a daily struggle sometimes and hard work but happiness begins with your own attitude and how you look at the world. — Gretchen Rubin

People are powerfully moved by imagination, belief, and knowledge. They can consider the past and future. They can make changes in their behavior out of reason in a way that animals can't do. — Gretchen Rubin

Studies show that people tend to persevere longer with problems they've been told are difficult as opposed to easy. — Gretchen Rubin

Sometimes I think it's easier to think about being happier, for what ever that means to you then worrying about what is happiness and what would life be if I finally achieved this ultimate happiness? — Gretchen Rubin

Turn off your email; turn off your phone; disconnect from the Internet; figure out a way to set limits so you can concentrate when you need to, and disengage when you need to. Technology is a good servant but a bad master. — Gretchen Rubin

A willingness to be pleased requires modesty and even innocence
easy to deride as mawkish and sentimental. — Gretchen Rubin

Arriving rarely makes you as happy as you anticipate.
p 84 — Gretchen Rubin

The real key to habits is decision making - or, more accurately, the lack of decision making — Gretchen Rubin

Erasmus's The Praise of Folly. According to a footnote, the argument of the growing heap is: If ten coins are not enough to make a man rich, what if you add one coin? What if you add another? Finally, you will have to say that no one can be rich unless one coin can make him so. — Gretchen Rubin

Happy people make people happy, but I can't make someone be happy, and no one else can make me happy. — Gretchen Rubin

There's also something about your bed; it's sort of a symbol of yourself and of your marriage, if you're married. Making your bed doesn't seem to be an important thing in a happy life, and yet it can be that tiny foothold into a more orderly life that sometimes people need. — Gretchen Rubin

When I think of myself in the third person, many things become clearer. — Gretchen Rubin

Accept myself, and expect more of myself.
Give myself limits to give myself freedom.
Make people happier by acknowledging that they're not feeling happy.
Plan ahead to be spontaneous; only with careful preparation do I feel carefree.
Accomplish more by working less.
Happiness doesn't always make me feel happy.
Flawed can be more perfect than perfection.
It's very hard to make things easier.
My material desires have a spiritual aspect.
Hell is other people. Heaven is other people.
What was "happiness," anyway, and was it even possible to make myself happier? — Gretchen Rubin

If you want to feel safe, healthy, and hopeful, try to act as if you did feel that way. "Fake it 'till you feel it." maybe start with health - try to walk energetically, speak energetically, do physical things. — Gretchen Rubin

The imperfect book that gets published is better than the perfect book that never leaves my computer. — Gretchen Rubin

Getting paperwork under control makes me feel more in control of my life generally. — Gretchen Rubin

One of my key realizations about happiness, and a point oddly under-emphasized by positive psychologists, given its emphasis in popular culture, is that outer order contributes to inner calm. More than it should. — Gretchen Rubin

Say "no" only when it really matters. Wear a bright red shirt with bright orange shorts? Sure. Put water in the toy tea set? Okay. Sleep with your head at the foot of the bed? Fine. Samuel Johnson said, "All severity that does not tend to increase good, or prevent evil, is idle. — Gretchen Rubin

I have an idea of who I wish I were, and that obscures my understanding of who I actually am. Sometimes I pretend even to myself to enjoy activities that I don't really enjoy, such as shopping, or to be interested in subjects that don't much interest me, such as foreign policy. — Gretchen Rubin

Never label anything 'Miscellaneous.' — Gretchen Rubin

In their thought-provoking book Focus, researchers Tory Higgins and Heidi Grant Halvorson argue that people lean toward being "promotion-focused" or "prevention-focused" in their aims. — Gretchen Rubin

If I pretend to myself that I'm different from the way I truly am, I'm going to make choices that won't make me happy. — Gretchen Rubin

After someone's death, how strange to see the value drain away from his or her possessions; useful objects such as clothes, or dish towels, or personal papers become little more than trash. — Gretchen Rubin

No leader did more for his country than Winston Churchill. Brave, magnanimous, traditional, he was like a king-general from Britain's heroic past. His gigantic qualities set him apart from ordinary humanity; there seemed no danger he feared, no effort too great for his limitless energies. — Gretchen Rubin

I've noticed that a lot of people do much better when all their resolutions are framed as 'Yes.' Not something like, "I'm going to give up French Fries," but something like "I'm going to eat three vegetables every day." "I'm going to hug more, kiss more, touch more." "I'm going to listen to more music." They do better when they frame things in the positive. And I think this is just part of human nature. — Gretchen Rubin

The things that go wrong often make the best memories. — Gretchen Rubin

Self-awareness is a key to self-mastery — Gretchen Rubin

Lack of sleep negatively affects mood, memory, immune function, and pain sensitivity; it makes people more likely to fight with their partners; it contributes to weight gain. — Gretchen Rubin

The most reliable predictor of not being lonely is the amount of contact with women. Time spent with men doesn't make a difference. — Gretchen Rubin

In general, religious people seem to be happier than non-religious people - under various definitions of "religiosity," such as church attendance or professed spiritual beliefs. — Gretchen Rubin

A 'treat' is different from a 'reward,' which must be justified or earned. A treat is a small pleasure or indulgence that we give to ourselves just because we want it. Treats give us greater vitality, which boosts self-control, which helps us maintain our healthy habits. — Gretchen Rubin

It was time to expect more of myself. Yet as I thought about happiness, I kept running up against paradoxes. I wanted to change myself but accept myself. I wanted to take myself less seriously
and also more seriously. I wanted to use my time well, but I also wanted to wander, to play, to read at whim. I wanted to think about myself so I could forget myself. I was always on the edge of agitation; I wanted to let go of envy and anxiety about the future, yet keep my energy and ambition. — Gretchen Rubin

Upholder, I see its dark side, too — Gretchen Rubin

In the scope of a happy life, a messy desk or an overstuffed coat closet is a trivial thing, yet I find - and I hear from other people that they agree - that getting rid of clutter gives a disproportionate boost to happiness. — Gretchen Rubin

Pay close attention to any flame of enthusiasm. — Gretchen Rubin

What's fun for other people may not be fun for you- and vice versa. — Gretchen Rubin

Be a storehouse of happy memories. — Gretchen Rubin

I love cunning containers as much as anyone, but I've found that if I get rid of everything I don't need, I often don't need a container at all. — Gretchen Rubin

For one person, organized files might be a crucial tool for creativity; another person finds inspiration in random juxtapositions. — Gretchen Rubin

For Moderators, the first bite tastes the best, and then their pleasure gradually drops, and they might even stop eating before they're finished. For Abstainers, however, the desire for each bite is just as strong as for the first bite - or stronger, so they may want seconds, too. — Gretchen Rubin

[Benjamin Franklin]identified thirteen virtues he wanted to cultivate
temperance, silence, order, resolution, frugality, industry, sincerity, justice, moderation, cleanliness, tranquility, chastity and humility
and made a chart with those virtues plotted against the days of the week. Each day, Franklin would score himself on whether he practiced those thirteen virtues. — Gretchen Rubin

When it comes to fake food, I'm like Samuel Johnson, who remarked, "Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult." In other words, I can give something up altogether, but I can't indulge occasionally. — Gretchen Rubin

A stumble may be helpful, because it shows me where I need to concentrate my efforts in order to do better next time. — Gretchen Rubin

From my observation, habits in four areas do most to boost feelings of self-control, and in this way strengthen the Foundation of all our habits. We do well to begin by tackling the habits that help us to: 1. sleep 2. move 3. eat and drink right 4. unclutter — Gretchen Rubin

As goofy as it sounds, I try to sing in the morning. It's hard both to sing and to maintain a grouchy mood, and it sets a happy tone for everyone - particularly in my case, because I'm tone deaf, and my audience finds my singing a source of great hilarity. — Gretchen Rubin

Now that I know I'm an Upholder, an Abstainer, a Marathoner, a Finisher, and a Lark, and have spent a lot of time thinking about what is, and isn't, important to me, I'm much better able to shape my habits. — Gretchen Rubin

I feel too anxious to tackle my bad habits, but my bad habits are what make me anxious. — Gretchen Rubin

A sense of growth is so important to happiness that it's often preferable to be progressing to the summit rather than to be at the summit. — Gretchen Rubin

Although we presume that we act because of the way we feel, in fact we often feel because of the way we act. — Gretchen Rubin

The opposite of happiness is unhappiness, not depression. — Gretchen Rubin

Once I started trying to give positive reviews, though, I began to understand how much happiness I took from the joyous ones in my life
and how much effort it must take for them to be consistently good=tempered and positive. It is easy to be heavy; hard to be light. We nonjoyous types suck energy and cheer from the joyous ones; we rely on them to buoy us with their good spirit and to cushion our agitation and anxiety. At the same time, because of a dark element in human nature, we're sometimes provoked to try to shake the enthusiastic, cheery folk out of their fog of illusion
to make them see that the play was stupid, the money was wasted, the meeting was pointless. Instead of shielding their joy, we blast it. — Gretchen Rubin

Studies show that in a phenomenon called "emotional contagion," we unconsciously catch emotions from other people
whether good moods or bad ones. Taking the time to be silly means that we're infecting one another with good cheer, and people who enjoy silliness are one third more likely to be happy. — Gretchen Rubin

These tasks weren't urgent (which was the reason they didn't get done), but because they weighed on my mind, they sapped my energy. — Gretchen Rubin

I always feel calmer when I exercise. In fact, that's probably the main reason I exercise. — Gretchen Rubin

What I Value What's most satisfying to me: saving time, or money, or effort? Does it bother me to act differently from other people, or do I get a charge out of it? Do I spend a lot of time on something that's important to someone else, but not to me? If I had $500 that I had to spend on fun, how would I spend it? Do I like to listen to experts, or do I prefer to figure things out for myself? Does spending money on an activity make me feel more committed to it, or less committed? Would I be happy to see my children have the life I've had? — Gretchen Rubin

Having a messy coat closet should not be a big deal in a full life, and yet there's something about getting control of that coat closet that's surprisingly satisfying. — Gretchen Rubin

He that stumbles, and does not quite fall, gains a step. — Gretchen Rubin

In fact, novelty lovers may do better with a series of short-term activities - thirty-day challenges, for instances - instead of trying to create an enduring, automatic habit. — Gretchen Rubin

The more I examine the issue of clutter, the more effort I put into combating it, because it really does act as a weight. — Gretchen Rubin

Putting myself into categories is fun, and I think it also gives me insight into my own nature. When I see myself more clearly, I can more easily see ways that I might do things differently, to make myself happier. Categories can be unhelpful, however, when they become too all-defining, or when they become an excuse. — Gretchen Rubin

I can DO ANYTHING I want, but I can't DO EVERYTHING I want. — Gretchen Rubin

Give warm greetings and farewells. I was surprised by how much this resolution changed the atmosphere of my home. — Gretchen Rubin

Research suggests that about 40 percent of our behavior is repeated almost daily, and mostly in the same context. — Gretchen Rubin

Take care of difficult calls or emails as quickly as possible. Procrastinating just makes it harder; getting them done gives a big boost of relieved energy. — Gretchen Rubin

A person with 'oppositional conversational style' is a person who, in conversation, disagrees with and corrects whatever you say. He or she may do this in a friendly way, or a belligerent way, but this person frames remarks in opposition to whatever you venture. — Gretchen Rubin

The reward for a good habit is the habit itself. — Gretchen Rubin

Now, the term 'friend' is a little loose. People mock the 'friending' on social media, and say, 'Gosh, no one could have 300 friends!' Well, there are all kinds of friends. Those kinds of 'friends,' and work friends, and childhood friends, and dear friends, and neighborhood friends, and we-walk-our-dogs-at-the-same-time friends, etc. — Gretchen Rubin

There's a kind of magical thinking about these kinds of things. Throw away those bad photos before the "magic" attaches to them, so the good ones stand out. — Gretchen Rubin

To be happy, I need to think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right. — Gretchen Rubin

Progress, not perfection, is the goal. I'm a gold-star junkie, — Gretchen Rubin

Both money and health contribute to happiness mostly in the negative; the lack of them brings much more unhappiness than possessing them brings happiness.
p 169 — Gretchen Rubin

A book is a better way to develop a complicated idea, or to tell a big story and to show how ideas weave in and out of each other, which is something that comes up a lot in happiness because all these ideas are interconnected. — Gretchen Rubin

I needed to change the lens through which I viewed everything familiar. — Gretchen Rubin

For quotes, I have one document for general quotes; the other for happiness-related quotes, which I use for the 'Moment of Happiness,' my daily emails of happiness quotes. — Gretchen Rubin

One of the most important elements of my identity is my identity as a reader. I love to read - really, if I'm honest with myself, it's practically the only activity that I truly love to do. — Gretchen Rubin

I don't want to reject my life. I want to change my life without changing my life. — Gretchen Rubin

I'm not tempted by things I've decided are off-limits, but once I've started something, I have trouble stopping. If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control. — Gretchen Rubin

Money. It's a good servant but a bad master. — Gretchen Rubin

Procrastinators may resemble Sprinters, because they too tend to finish only when they're against a deadline, but the two types are quite different. Sprinters choose to work at the last minute because the pressure of a deadline clarifies their thoughts; Procrastinators hate last-minute pressure and wish they could force themselves to work before the deadline looms. Unlike Sprinters, Procrastinators often agonize about the work they're not doing, which makes it hard for them to do anything fun or meaningful with their time. They may rush around doing busywork as a way to avoid doing what they know they have to do. — Gretchen Rubin

When we're trying to form and keep habits, we often search - even unconsciously - for loopholes. We look for justifications that will excuse us from keeping this particular habit in this particular situation. — Gretchen Rubin

Embrace good smells. No cost, no calories, no energy, no time - a quick hit of pleasure. — Gretchen Rubin

'Potato-chip news' is news that's repetitive, requires little effort to absorb, and is consumable in massive quantities: true crime, natural disasters, political punditry, celebrity gossip, sports gossip, or endless photographs of beautiful houses, food, or clothes. — Gretchen Rubin

If you want someone else to do a task, don't do it yourself. — Gretchen Rubin

While physical activity is a key aspect of the Foundation and has many emotional and physical benefits, people often assume that its most important benefit is something that, ironically, it doesn't provide: exercise doesn't promote weight loss. It seems to help people maintain their weight - active people are less likely to gain or regain weight than inactive people - but it's not associated with weight loss. There are many compelling reasons to exercise, but study after study shows that weight loss isn't one of them. The way to lose weight is to change eating habits. Third: — Gretchen Rubin

For people who want to eat and drink more healthfully, keeping a food journal can be extremely effective. For instance, one study showed that dieters who kept a food journal six or seven days a week lost twice as much weight as people who did so once a week or not at all. Although keeping a food journal sounds straightforward, I braced myself for a challenge when I decided to try it. No one ever mentions how hard it is to keep a food journal, but I'd already tried and failed three times. — Gretchen Rubin