Ellen DeGeneres Quotes & Sayings

Standup is more me talking the entire time. There's definitely an exchange of energy because that room, that audience, is giving back. — Ellen DeGeneres

I would rather be the good aunt who never says anything bad and lets the parents discipline the child. — Ellen DeGeneres

I believe one day a 'ban on gay marriage' will sound totally ridiculous. In the meantime, I will continue to speak out for equality for all of us. — Ellen DeGeneres

I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me - they're just, like, 'I can't believe you don't remember me! I'm like, 'Oh Dad I'm sorry! — Ellen DeGeneres

I'm not an activist; I don't look for controversy. I'm not a political person, but I'm a person with compassion. I care passionately about equal rights. I care about human rights. I care about animal rights. — Ellen DeGeneres

Let's all challenge ourselves today to get up and move a little more. — Ellen DeGeneres

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant. — Ellen DeGeneres

The sixties were when hallucinogenic drugs were really, really big. And I don't think it's a coincidence that we had the type of shows we had then, like The Flying Nun. — Ellen DeGeneres

If you want to get rid of stuff, you can always do a good spring-cleaning. Or you can do what I do. Move. — Ellen DeGeneres

I became vegan because I saw footage of what really goes on in the slaughterhouses and on the dairy farms. — Ellen DeGeneres

I'm probably the most honest person you'll ever meet - to a fault, like, I-will-hurt-your-feelings honest. I'm sure if I lied about anything, it would have been silly, but I haven't retained that information. — Ellen DeGeneres

Usually, I wear tennis shoes because my feet are flat, and it hurts to wear anything other than shoes that are cushiony. — Ellen DeGeneres

You talk to some people who are opposed to same sex marriage, and they'll say, 'If we allow that, what's next? Will people want to marry animals?' ... You have to wonder about people who go straight to that idea
and they think WE'RE weird! — Ellen DeGeneres

I spend a lot of time exploring my body. Hang on, that doesn't sound quite right. What I mean to say is, I like to constantly be in touch with my own body. Okay, that's not right, either. My body is a wonderland. I don't even know why I just said that. — Ellen DeGeneres

Algebra in three years, he takes calculus now. He gets upset that you don't know anything about him, yells something about his "real dad," and storms out of the house. But he never tells you where his calculus books are, so you're back to square one, only worse off because of the glass in your foot and the sadness in your heart. So what I've done for you is included — Ellen DeGeneres

Some people believe that to find happiness, you should live each day of your life as if it's your last because that way you will appreciate every single moment you have. Other people believe that you should live each day as if it's your first because then every day can be the beginning of a new journey. — Ellen DeGeneres

All the commercials on TV today are for antidepressants, for Prozac or Paxil. And they get you right away. "Are you sad? Do you get stressed, do you have anxiety?" "Yes, I have all those things! I'm alive!" — Ellen DeGeneres

The reason I do what I do is because I was influenced by Steve Martin, by Woody Allen, by Bob Newhart, by Carol Burnett, by Lucille Ball. — Ellen DeGeneres

I like sitting at outdoor restaurants; it would be nice to go someplace on the street and not worry about somebody taking my picture while I'm about to take a bite of something. — Ellen DeGeneres

Romance often begins by a splashing waterfall and ends over a leaky sink. — Ellen DeGeneres

I've moved about 10 times over the past 15 years. I don't move for the sole purpose of getting rid of stuff. I'm not crazy. I also move so that I never have to wash any windows. — Ellen DeGeneres

I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut. — Ellen DeGeneres

Penguins mate for life. Which doesn't really surprise me, because they all look exactly alike. It's not like they're gonna meet a better-looking penguin someday. — Ellen DeGeneres

When we were growing up our parents somehow made it clear that being famous was good. And I mistakenly thought that if I was famous then everyone would love me. — Ellen DeGeneres

It's hard to understand failure when you're going through it, but in the grand scheme of things it's good to fall down - not because you're drunk and not near stairs. — Ellen DeGeneres

Oh my God! I can't believe I did that! — Ellen DeGeneres

Did you ever feel like the whole world was going to a party and your invitation got lost in the mail? — Ellen DeGeneres

I think people need to laugh everyday. Whether the economy is good or bad, I think the most important thing is to laugh and to feel positive, if you are laughing at something positive. But if you are laughing at mean jokes then it's a wash. — Ellen DeGeneres

We put the wrong emphasis on what beauty is and what health is. Health is being vibrant and having energy and being happy. — Ellen DeGeneres

Contribute to the world. Help people. Help one person. Help someone cross the street today. Help someone with directions unless you have a terrible sense of direction. Help someone who is trying to help you. Just help. Make an impact. Show someone you care. Say yes instead of no. Say something nice. Smile. Make eye contact. Hug. Kiss. Get naked. — Ellen DeGeneres

I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises. — Ellen DeGeneres

I love furniture. And I thought, why are we not seeing who's making the cool new coffee table and these new designs that come out? — Ellen DeGeneres

Have you seen the deer heads on the walls of bars, the ones wearing party hats, sunglasses and streamers? I feel sorry for them because obviously they were at a party having a good time ... — Ellen DeGeneres

I'm a lesbian, an Aquarian, and a vegetarian. — Ellen DeGeneres

I do it because I love animals and I saw the reality. And I just couldn't ignore it anymore. I'm healthier for it, I'm happier for it. I can't imagine that if you're putting something in your body that is filled with fear or anxiety or pain, that that isn't somehow going to be inside of you. — Ellen DeGeneres

I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, and then I'm gonna rip it off. — Ellen DeGeneres

Leaning forward in your chair when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn't enough. You also have to move the chair. — Ellen DeGeneres

When I was younger I thought success was something different. I thought, " When I grow up, I want to be famous. I want to be a star. I want to be in movies. When I grow up I want to see the world, drive nice cars. I want to have groupies." But my idea of success is different today. For me, the most important thing in your life is to live your life with integrity and not to give into peer pressure, to try to be something that you're not. To live your life as an honest and compassionate person. To contribute in some way. — Ellen DeGeneres

What would bug the Taliban more than seeing a gay woman in a suit surrounded by Jews? — Ellen DeGeneres

This is my real secret to being a joyful person: I make my life easy. I spend more time being grateful for what I have instead of focusing on what isn't working. I no longer believe that people have to do things my way and that I have to be perfect. — Ellen DeGeneres

The stand up, everything was accidental. I never grew up and was the class clown and had to get the attention. It was - it really is, I have a career despite myself. — Ellen DeGeneres

Here's the analogy. If my body were a car, I'd be thinking about trading it in around now. I would like to upgrade. I would be actually on the lot somewhere and some guy with a loud sports jacket would be sizing me up ... kinda lookin' around goin
maybe kickin my knees. Looking behind me going: That looks a little bashed in back there ... Yeah. You mind if I check under the hood? 'Well yes I do! Thank you very much. — Ellen DeGeneres

Meditation is helping me learn to sit still. Twenty minutes of meditation in the morning is a nice way to start my day. If you can actually sit still and really get to that place of silence, you realize what's important and what's not important. Little things don't usually get to me anymore. — Ellen DeGeneres

It must be around forty, when you're "over the hill." I don't even know what that means and why it's a bad thing. When I go hiking and I get over the hill, that means I'm past the hard part and there's a snack in my future. That's a good thing as far as I'm concerned. — Ellen DeGeneres

I like being busy and juggling a lot of things at the same time. I get bored easily, so I need to do a lot. — Ellen DeGeneres

Come on, if you don't win tonight it doesn't mean you're not a good person, it just means you're not a good actor. — Ellen DeGeneres

Human beings only use ten percent of their brains. Ten percent! Can you imagine how much we could accomplish if we used the other sixty percent? — Ellen DeGeneres

Above all, I strive to be the best I can - to be better than I was yesterday and better tomorrow. — Ellen DeGeneres

Laugh. Laugh as much as you can. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you laugh. Keep doing it even if people are passing you on the street saying, "I can't tell if that person is laughing or crying, but either way they seem crazy, let's walk faster." Emote. It's okay. It shows you are thinking and feeling. — Ellen DeGeneres

I think what saved me is me being honest. I think I somewhow had the courage to do something and say something that I knew would possibly end my career. Instead of making business more important I made my soul and my life more important. And I think by being truthful, and being honest, that saved me. — Ellen DeGeneres

If we lose our phones, we lose our phone books. You don't memorize numbers anymore. — Ellen DeGeneres

I put a basketball in front of George Clooney's door and sprayed it with supermodel perfume to lure him out. — Ellen DeGeneres

I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping? — Ellen DeGeneres

Find out who you are and figure out what you believe in. Even if it's different from what your neighbors believe in and different from what your parents believe in. Stay true to yourself. Have your own opinion. Don't worry about what people say about you or think about you. Let the naysayers nay. They will eventually grow tired of naying. — Ellen DeGeneres

Designing is my hobby. If I didn't do what I do for a living - at some point when I don't do this for a living - I'll probably just do design work. I love finding really special pieces of furniture. — Ellen DeGeneres

For someone like me, who loves to sweat and push herself, it's a challenge to slow down, to sit, to breathe and hold poses. — Ellen DeGeneres

...there are a lot of self-righteous people out there. And if you try to adjust your life to please them...you're just going to go crazy and risk being as unhappy as these self-righteous kooks are. — Ellen DeGeneres

I am a really sensitive person. — Ellen DeGeneres

Be kind to one another . — Ellen DeGeneres

But what's important is that you enjoy and appreciate every day, and that's something you can accomplish by just living in the moment. Don't look behind you. Unless someone yells, "Look out behind you!" Then you should definitely look behind you because there's a good chance a Frisbee is being thrown at your head or, if you're in a movie, an attractive teenage vampire is about to attack you.
Otherwise, don't look back and don't spend too much time worrying about the future. Stay in the present. There are a few ways to do that. Stop and smell the roses. Wake up and smell the coffee. Enjoy the sweet smell of success. I guess just keep taking big whiffs of stuff because it seems like the more we smell, the happier we are going to be. You know what I mean. — Ellen DeGeneres

It's even more awkward when we're face to face with people. It used to be exciting to make plans with friends because you could sit and catch up and talk about what's been going on in your lives. Now when you see someone there's nothing left to say. You've already seen the pictures from their trip to Rio on Facebook. You've read their tweets about the latest diet they're on. And they already texted you about the pregnancy scare. So you end up just sitting and staring at each other until you both start texting other people. — Ellen DeGeneres

When I decided to have my character on the show come out, I knew I was going to have to come out, too. I never wanted to be the lesbian actress. I never wanted to be the spokesperson for the gay community. Ever. I did it for my own truth. — Ellen DeGeneres

I think the hard thing about this job [stand-up] I mean, I think this part is great but that the traveling is y'know, 'cause 'cause I'm gone a lot from home and this time I'm out for three-and-a-half weeks without going home, and that's hard, to be gone three-and-a-half weeks 'cause then I have to ask my friends, Would you mind going to the house and watering the plants, and turn some lights on and make it look like somebody's home, and make sure that the mobile over the crib isn't tangled or the baby's gonna get bored ... — Ellen DeGeneres

I was in yoga the other day. I was in full lotus position. My chakras were all aligned. My mind is cleared of all clatter and I'm looking out of my third eye and everything that I'm supposed to be doing. It's amazing what comes up, when you sit in that silence. "Mama keeps whites bright like the sunlight, Mama's got the magic of Clorox 2." — Ellen DeGeneres

Friends will write me letters. They run out of room on the front of the letter. They write 'over' on the bottom of the letter. Like I'm that much of a moron. Like I need that there. Because if it wasn't there, I'd get to the bottom of the page: 'And so Kathy and I went shopping and we
' That's the craziest thing! I don't know why she would just end it that way. — Ellen DeGeneres

Beauty is not between a size 0 and a size 8. It's not a number at all. — Ellen DeGeneres

Don't you hate when people are late to work. And they always have the worst excuses. "Oh, I'm sorry I'm late, traffic." "Traffic, huh? How do you think I got here; helicoptered in!?" — Ellen DeGeneres

It always helps to think about other people instead of ourselves. — Ellen DeGeneres

We use only 10% of our brains ... Imagine how smart we would be if we used the other 60%! — Ellen DeGeneres

You know how you always expect someone to think the same as you and then your like, really shocked when they don't? Like when it's a cold day and you turn to the person next to you and say, 'Its so cold, aren't you cold?' and then they say 'no.' It's kinda like, 'what, are you a communist? — Ellen DeGeneres

I stand for honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you want to be treated & helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values. That's what I stand for. — Ellen DeGeneres

Then you have these people in the movie theaters that talk the whole time during the movie. You ever go with somebody like that to a movie but you don't realize until you get there that you're with somebody like that? Brand new movie. First day it's open. You're there together and the entire time they're sitting there: Where's she going? Why'd he do that? Is he mad at her? I don't know, let's watch and find out together shall we? You know who you are. You're denying it right now: I do not do that. Why is she saying that?. What's she gonna say next? — Ellen DeGeneres

The problem with labels is that they lead to stereotypes and stereotypes lead to generalizations and generalizations lead to assumptions and assumptions lead back to stereotypes. It's a vicious cycle, and after you go around and around a bunch of times you end up believing that all vegans only eat cabbage and all gay people love musicals. — Ellen DeGeneres

(I don't know why the word "mustache" exists, though. Can't we just call it lip hair?) — Ellen DeGeneres

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is. — Ellen DeGeneres

I get home at the end of the day and I don't want to talk. All I want to do is lay on the floor and pet my dogs and my cats. — Ellen DeGeneres

You know me. Any excuse to put on a dress. — Ellen DeGeneres

Then you panic because you've never known the difference between a sweet potato and a yam and both are on the counter, and if you start making a yam pie you'll never hear the end of it. — Ellen DeGeneres

Raspberry Sorbet with Capers — Ellen DeGeneres

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her. — Ellen DeGeneres

What's New Orleans without music? And what's music without dancing? — Ellen DeGeneres

Do we have to know who's gay and who's straight? Can't we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive? — Ellen DeGeneres

There are people out there hiding all kinds of things. People who have all this success and all this fame and all this money, and yet there are secrets that they think if we found out about, it would be over for them. And it's a horrible way to live whether you're famous or not. — Ellen DeGeneres

I don't really ever live my life in fear. I really live my life in gratitude and feeling positive for the most part. — Ellen DeGeneres

Most people don't get to laugh, be free, dance, be surrounded by this energy. It's important to remind people to take that home. I want the world to start shifting [to] a more positive energy. — Ellen DeGeneres

I think there's a whole bunch of things that go along with being a girl. You're not supposed to have opinions or be tough or strong. You're supposed to be soft and vulnerable, and I find those qualities important in both men and women. — Ellen DeGeneres

Way, way back in the day, like in the 1990s, if you wanted to tell everyone you ate waffles for breakfast, you couldn't just go on the Internet and tweet it out. There was only one way to do it. You had to go outside and scream at the top of your lungs, 'I ate waffles for breakfast!' That's why so many people ended up in institutions. They seemed crazy, but when you think about it, they were just ahead of their time. — Ellen DeGeneres

I see those picketers, and I think you know, if I weren't a loving, non-violent, spiritual person, I would really go over there and grab those signs and smash them over their heads and shove them up their asses. But ... I'm a loving, spiritual person. — Ellen DeGeneres

Now,I'm no scientist,but I know what endorphins are. They're tiny little magical elves that swim through your blood stream and tell funny jokes to each other. When they reach your brain,you hear what they're saying and that boosts your health and happiness. "Knock Knock ... Who's There?.. Little endorphin ... Little endorphin who? ... Little Endorphin Annie." And then the endorphins laugh and then you laugh. See? Its Science. — Ellen DeGeneres

I talked to Beyonce and she wants to learn how to speak Arabic and she wants to jump out of an airplane. I don't want to do that. I just don't want to wash my hair every day. — Ellen DeGeneres

I hope I make people feel better. I hope I take people out of their situations a little bit and make them happier. That's really why I do what I do. — Ellen DeGeneres

What's not so great is that all this technology is destroying our social skills. Not only have we given up on writing letters to each other, we barely even talk to each other. People have become so accustomed to texting that they're actually startled when the phone rings. It's like we suddenly all have Batphones. If it rings, there must be danger.
Now we answer, "What happened? Is someone tied up in the old sawmill?"
"No, it's Becky. I just called to say hi."
"Well you scared me half to death. You can't just pick up the phone and try to talk to me like that. Don't the tips of your fingers work? — Ellen DeGeneres

All of my friends were seeing a therapist, and I thought something was wrong with me that I didn't see a therapist. So I went to a therapist to find out why I wasn't seeing a therapist. And it turns out I'm very screwed up. Thank God I found a therapist to tell me for $125 an hour. — Ellen DeGeneres

While I was doing stand-up, I thought I knew for sure that success meant getting everyone to like me. So I became whoever I thought people wanted me to be. I'd say yes when I wanted to say no, and I even wore a few dresses. — Ellen DeGeneres

Find out who you are and be that person. That's what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find that truth, live that truth and everything else will come. — Ellen DeGeneres

Sometimes the greatest things are the most embarrassing. — Ellen DeGeneres

If we don't want to define ourselves by things as superficial as our appearances, we're stuck with the revolting alternative of being judged by our actions. — Ellen DeGeneres

Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others. — Ellen DeGeneres

There aren't a lot of hobbies you can eat. Like, let's say you love to cook. That's a bad example. Let's say you love to travel, and everywhere you go, you try the food at the best local - My point is, I love gardening as a hobby. Right now in our garden, Portia and I are growing tomatoes, peppers, zucchini, beets, eggplant, — Ellen DeGeneres

If there weren't blacks, Jews and gays, there would no Oscars. Or anyone named Oscar, if you think about that. — Ellen DeGeneres