Douglas William Jerrold Quotes & Sayings

There are some people as obtuse in recognizing an argument as they are in appreciating wit. You couldn't drive it into their heads with a hammer. — Douglas William Jerrold

Quality, not quantity, is my measure. — Douglas William Jerrold

Wishes, at least, are the easy pleasures of the poor. — Douglas William Jerrold

Intemperance is the epitome of every crime, the cause of every kind of misery. — Douglas William Jerrold

Religion's in the heart, not in the knees. — Douglas William Jerrold

Grumblers deserve to be operated upon surgically; their trouble is usually chronic. — Douglas William Jerrold

Duty, though set about by thorns, may still be made a staff supporting even while it tortures. Cast it away, and, like the prophet's wand, it changes to a snake. — Douglas William Jerrold

Humor is the harmony of the heart. — Douglas William Jerrold

Wit, like money, bears an extra value when rung down immediately it is wanted. Men pay severely who require credit. — Douglas William Jerrold

Patience is the strongest of strong drinks; for it kills the giant despair. — Douglas William Jerrold

He is one of those wise philanthropists who, in a time of famine, would vote for nothing but a supply of toothpicks. — Douglas William Jerrold

The only athletic sport I ever mastered was backgammon. — Douglas William Jerrold

As for the brandy, "nothing extenuate"; and the water, put nought in in malice. — Douglas William Jerrold

A man, so to speak, who is not able to bow to his own conscience every morning is hardly in a condition to respectfully salute the world at any other time of the day. — Douglas William Jerrold

In this world truth can wait; she is used to it. — Douglas William Jerrold

Love's like the measles - all the worse when it comes late in life. — Douglas William Jerrold

The sharp employ the sharp. — Douglas William Jerrold

That man is thought a dangerous knave, Or zealot plotting crime, Who for advancement of his kind Is wiser than his time. — Douglas William Jerrold

Gravity is more suggestive than convincing. — Douglas William Jerrold

Women, somehow, have the same fear of witty men as of fireworks. — Douglas William Jerrold

Marriage is like wine. It is not be properly judged until the second glass. — Douglas William Jerrold

Malice blunts the point of wit. — Douglas William Jerrold

A man never so beautifully shows his own strength as when he respects a woman's softness. — Douglas William Jerrold

Keep your eyes and ears open, if you desire to get on in the world. — Douglas William Jerrold

Earth is here so kind, that just tickle her with a hoe and she laughs with a harvest. — Douglas William Jerrold

Modesty is a bright dish-cover, which makes us fancy there is something very nice underneath it. — Douglas William Jerrold

A man is in no danger so long as he talks his love; but to write it is to impale himself on his own pothooks. — Douglas William Jerrold

Etiquette has no regard for moral qualities. — Douglas William Jerrold

The surest way to hit a woman's heart is to take aim kneeling. — Douglas William Jerrold

Literature, like a gypsy, to be picturesque, should be a little ragged. — Douglas William Jerrold

A piece of simple goodness
a letter gushing from the heart; a beautiful unstudied vindication of the worth and untiring sweetness of human nature
a record of the invulnerability of man, armed with high purpose, sanctified by truth. — Douglas William Jerrold

What a fine-looking thing is war!
Yet, dress it as we may, dress and feather it, daub it with gold, huzza it, and sing swaggering songs about it,
what is it, nine times out of ten, but murder in uniform! — Douglas William Jerrold

The sharp employ the sharp; verily, a man may be known by his attorney. — Douglas William Jerrold

Wits, like drunken men with swords, are apt to draw their steel upon their best acquaintances. — Douglas William Jerrold

What women would do if they could not cry, nobody knows. What poor, defenceless creatures they would be! — Douglas William Jerrold

O this itch of the ear, that breaks out at the tongue! Were not curiosity so over-busy, detraction would soon be starved to death. — Douglas William Jerrold

Nature designed us to be of good cheer. — Douglas William Jerrold

Not peace at any price! Chains are worse than bayonets. — Douglas William Jerrold

That questionable superfluity small beer. — Douglas William Jerrold

Troubles are like babies - they only grow by nursing. — Douglas William Jerrold

Reputations, like beavers and cloaks, shall last some people twice the time of others. — Douglas William Jerrold

I would like to have a second chance at my first love. — Douglas William Jerrold

Slugs crawl and crawl over our cabbages, like the world's slander over a good name. You may kill them, it is true; but there is the slime. — Douglas William Jerrold

God said, "Let us make man in our image." Man said, 'Let us make God in our image. — Douglas William Jerrold

Nothing is so beneficial to a young author as the advice of a man whose judgment stands constitutionally at the freezing-point. — Douglas William Jerrold

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. — Douglas William Jerrold

Man owes two solemn debts
one to society, and one to-nature. It is only when he pays the second that he covers the first. — Douglas William Jerrold

If an earthquake were to engulf England tomorrow, the English would manage to meet and dine somewhere among the rubbish, just to celebrate the event. — Douglas William Jerrold

Self-defense is the clearest of all laws; and for this reason - the lawyers didn't make it. — Douglas William Jerrold

Love the sea? I dote upon it
from the beach. — Douglas William Jerrold

Virtue is a beautiful thing in woman when they don't go about with it like a child with a drum making all sorts of noise with it. — Douglas William Jerrold

The language of women should be luminous, but not voluminous. — Douglas William Jerrold

Fortunes made in no time are like shirts made in no time; it's ten to one if they hang long together. — Douglas William Jerrold

Even the worse of jobs has their pleasures, if I were a grave digger or a hangmen, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment. — Douglas William Jerrold

A blessed companion is a book
a book that, fitly chosen, is a lifelong friend ... a book that, at a touch, pours its heart into your own. — Douglas William Jerrold

He who owns the soil, owns up to the sky. — Douglas William Jerrold

Dogmation is puppyism come to its full growth. — Douglas William Jerrold

Habitual intoxication is the epitome of every crime. — Douglas William Jerrold

Rogues are prone to find things before they are lost. — Douglas William Jerrold

If slander be a snake, it is a winged one - it flies as well as creeps. — Douglas William Jerrold

There is peace more destructive of the manhood of living man than war is destructive of his material body. — Douglas William Jerrold

The blackest of fluid is used as an agent to enlighten the world. — Douglas William Jerrold

Religion is in the heart, not in the knees. — Douglas William Jerrold

We love peace, but not peace at any price. — Douglas William Jerrold

A creature undefiled by the taint of the world, unvexed by its injustice, unwearied by its hollow pleasures; a being fresh from the source of light, with something of its universal lustre in it. If childhood be this, how holy the duty to see that in its onward growth it shall be no other! — Douglas William Jerrold

There are a good many pious people who are as careful of their religion as of their best service of china, only using it on holy occasions, for fear it should get chipped or flawed in working-day wear. — Douglas William Jerrold

Fix yourself upon the wealthy. In a word, take this for a golden rule through life: Never, never have a friend that is poorer than yourself. — Douglas William Jerrold

A pill that the present moment is daily bread to thousands. — Douglas William Jerrold

Some people are so fond of ill luck that they run halfway to meet it. — Douglas William Jerrold

Happiness grows at our own firesides, and is not to be picked in strangers' gardens.
— Douglas William Jerrold

We are all slaves to the shining metal. — Douglas William Jerrold

After all there is something about a wedding-gown prettier than in any other gown in the world. — Douglas William Jerrold

Some of 'em [virtues] like extinct volcanoes,
with a strong memory or fire and brimstone. — Douglas William Jerrold

Jewels! It's my belief that when woman was made, jewels were invented only to make her the more mischievous. — Douglas William Jerrold

He was so benevolent, so merciful a man that, in his mistaken passion, he would have held an umbrella over a duck in a shower of rain. — Douglas William Jerrold

I never hear the rattling of dice that it does not sound to me like the funeral bell of the whole family. — Douglas William Jerrold

Luck, mere luck may make even madness wisdom. — Douglas William Jerrold