Diana Wynne Jones Quotes & Sayings

Sophie got herself to the mirror, and found that she had to hobble. The face in the mirror was quite calm, because it was what she expected to see. It was the face of a gaunt old woman, withered and brownish, surrounded by wispy white hair. Her own eyes, yellow and watery, stared out at her, looking rather tragic.
"Don't worry, old thing," Sophie said to the face. "You look quite healthy. Besides, this is much more like you really are. — Diana Wynne Jones

The tiny princess glanced up with a shy smile. "Boyth, all," she said, in a small, lisping voice. Morgan's — Diana Wynne Jones

I am a believer in free will. If my dog chooses to hate the whole human race except myself, it must be free to do so. — Diana Wynne Jones

If I give you a hint and tell you it's a hint, it will be information. — Diana Wynne Jones

But I discovered that people like me
they do, you know, if you like them
and then it was all right. — Diana Wynne Jones

And, suddenly, as if her head cleared, she was quite sure that wonderful things did indeed exist. Even if they're only in my own mind, she thought, they're there and worth fighting for. — Diana Wynne Jones

This is ridiculous, I mean, wholly ridiculous. It never did any child any harm to have something that was a tiny bit above them anyway, and I claim that anyone who can follow Doctor Who can follow absolutely anything. — Diana Wynne Jones

Then watch out. I warn you!"
"That is very considerate of you," said Chrestomanci. "I like to be warned. — Diana Wynne Jones

She had a silly impulse to add, But she was alive an hour ago! And she stopped herself, because death is like that: people are alive until they die. "Yes. — Diana Wynne Jones

Take it from me, Fate doesn't care most of the time. — Diana Wynne Jones

If you were able to hear lime juice, it would sound like violins. — Diana Wynne Jones

It's amazing the way one can take a step ten and a half miles long and still always land in a cowpat. — Diana Wynne Jones

Controller Borasus sighed with relief. Libraries were not places of danger. It had to be a hoax. — Diana Wynne Jones

I hope your bacon burns. — Diana Wynne Jones

I feel ill," [Howl] announced. "I'm going to bed, where I may die. — Diana Wynne Jones

Annoyed?" said Sophie. "Why should I be annoyed? Someone only filled the castle with rotten aspic, and deafened everyone in Porthaven, and scared Calcifer to a cinder, and broke a few hundred hearts. Why should that annoy me? — Diana Wynne Jones

Do you mind not being so kind and obedient? It makes me nervous. — Diana Wynne Jones

You must admit I have a right to live in a pigsty if I want. — Diana Wynne Jones

When you grow up to be an author and write books, you'll think you're making the books up, but they'll all really be true, somewhere. — Diana Wynne Jones

Sorry I gave you a fright." Howl seemed more used to holding babies than Sophie was. He rocked Morgan soothingly and stared at him. Morgan stared, rather balefullt, back. "My word, he's ugly" Howl said. "Chip off the old block" "Howl!" said Sophie. But she did not sound angry. — Diana Wynne Jones

Nobody gets praised for the right reasons. — Diana Wynne Jones

You've rotted your mind with reading books. — Diana Wynne Jones

She stared at the King. The King stared back. It was a disaster. — Diana Wynne Jones

But Sophie and Howl were holding one another's hand and smiling and smiling, quite unable to stop. "Don't bother me know," said Howl. "I only did it for the money." "Liar!"said Sophie. "I said," Michael said, "that Calcifer's come back!" That did get Howl's attention and Sophie's too. — Diana Wynne Jones

How does she keep it up? How can Miss Hodge be a teacher and not use witchcraft at all? I use it all the time. How else can I have eyes in the back of my head?'
'One of the great mysteries of our time,' Chrestomanci agreed. — Diana Wynne Jones

And it's a pity too that I've no right to open your letters. I hope you don't get many, or my conscience will give me no peace. — Diana Wynne Jones

He scarcely saw his parents. When Christopher was small, he was terrified that he would meet Papa out walking in the Park one day and not recognize him. — Diana Wynne Jones

If you must know, I-I had never in my life kissed a young lady, and you are far too beautiful to me to want to get it wrong! — Diana Wynne Jones

It seems that Fate has decreed that I live through my entire daydream in reality! — Diana Wynne Jones

So you eat them. And don't try chucking them away. I'll know. I empty the bins. — Diana Wynne Jones

What's the good of being civilized, that's what I'd like to know? It just means other people can break the rules and you can't. — Diana Wynne Jones

I was relying on Suliman being alive.THen when all that seemed to be left of him was Percival, I was so scared I had to go out and get drunk. And then you go and play into the Witch's hand!" "I'm the eldest!" Sophie shrieked. "I'm a failure!" "Garbage!" Howl shouted. "You just never stop to think! — Diana Wynne Jones

Oh! Polly thought. Why aren't all girls locked up by law the year they turn fifteen? They do such stupid things! — Diana Wynne Jones

I've got a hangover."
"No, you hit your head on the floor."
"I can't stay. I've got to rescue that fool Sophie. — Diana Wynne Jones

Sorry, I've had enough of running away, Sophie. Now I've got something I want to protect. It's you. — Diana Wynne Jones

And indeed if you think you're a genius at something what you achieve is very much according to your expectations; if you think you're no good, you're not going to get anywhere. — Diana Wynne Jones

It does not seem to me that I have the right to foist a story on people, most of whom are children who should be learning all the time, unless I am learning from it too. — Diana Wynne Jones

There were horrendous, dramatic, violent quantities of green slime - oodles of it. It covered Howl completely. It draped his head and shoulders in sticky dollops, heaping on his knees and hands, trickling in glops down his legs, and dripping off the stool in sticky strands. It was in oozing ponds and crawling pools over most of the floor. Long fingers of it had crept into the hearth. It smelled vile. — Diana Wynne Jones

If you like, you can all think of it as my gift to you. I never had much else to give. You can get on and play your own lives as you like, while I just keep moving. This story of it all can be another gift. I've made an arrangement with Adam. When I've finished, which is almost now, I'm going to put the bundle of papers in the garden of the Old Fort, before I move on. Adam's going to get them and take them to his father. And if you read it and don't believe it's real, so much the better. It will make another safeguard against Them.
But you wouldn't believe how lonely you get. — Diana Wynne Jones

A library is a place full of mouth-watering food for thought. — Diana Wynne Jones

This book will prove the following ten facts:
1. A Goon is a being who melts into the foreground and sticks there.
2. Pigs have wings, making them hard to catch.
3. All power corrupts, but we need electricity.
4. When an irresistible force meets an immovable object, the result is a family fight.
5. Music does not always sooth the troubled beast.
6. An Englishman's home is his castle.
7. The female of the species is more deadly than the male.
8. One black eye deserves another.
9. Space is the final frontier, and so is the sewage farm.
10. It pays to increase your word power. — Diana Wynne Jones

Sophie got out the modish black-and-white, which was the only hat even remotely likely to interest this lady. The lady looked at it with contempt. "This one doesn't do anything for anybody. You're wasting my time, Miss Hatter." "Only because you came in and asked for hats," Sophie said. — Diana Wynne Jones

At least, I suppose I can't blame Calcifer, since he's an evil demon. But you you Michael-!"
"I don't think I'm evil," Calcifer protested. — Diana Wynne Jones

It is quite a risk to spank a wizard for getting hysterical about his hair. — Diana Wynne Jones

You cannot rob robbers with a kitten in your hat! — Diana Wynne Jones

The silence became uneasy. It was broken by the elderly princess saying, The most distressing thing about being up here above the clouds is that there is no weather to make conversation out of. — Diana Wynne Jones

Polaris often remarks to Sol that Sirius loses his temper much less often these days. But the one sure way to send him into a flaming rage is to suggest that he finds a new Companion. Sirius will not hear of it. The small white sphere circling his goes untenanted, because he hopes that what Miss Smith said is true. — Diana Wynne Jones

Howl has been very kind to me." And this was true, Sophie realized. Howl showed his kindness rather strangely, but, considering all Sophie did to annoy him, he had been very good to her indeed.
"Do listen. He's not wicked at all!" There was a bit of a fizz from the grate at this, where Calcifer was watching with some interest. " He isn't!" Sophie said, to Calcifer as much as to Fanny.. — Diana Wynne Jones

If the spell was off, I'd have my heart eaten before I could turn around."
"Don't you want your heart eaten?" asked the fire. [ ... ]
"Naturally I don't," Sophie answered. — Diana Wynne Jones

Sophie did not care to think how Howl might react if Fanny woke him by stabbing him with her parasol. — Diana Wynne Jones

Chrestomanci smiled and swept out of the room like a very long procession of one person. — Diana Wynne Jones

Small Man can be a very funny or a very tiresome Tour Companion, depending on how this kind of thing grabs you. He gambles, he drinks too much and he always runs away. Since the Rules allow him to make Jokes, he will excuse his behaviour in a variety of comical ways. Physically he is stunted and not at all handsome, although he usually dresses flamboyantly. He tends to wear hats with feathers in. You will discover he is very vain. But, if you can avoid smacking him, you will come to tolerate if not love him. He will contrive, in some cowardly way, to play a major part in saving the world. — Diana Wynne Jones

In a way it was worth it, she thought, except that it was such a total waste. — Diana Wynne Jones

Aidan was fascinated by Mr. Stock's hat. Perhaps it had once been a trilby sort of thing. It may once hace even been a definite color. Now it was more like something that had grown - like a fungus - on Mr. Stock's head, so mashed and used and rammed down by earthy hands that you could have thought it was a mushroom that had accidentally grown into a sort of gnome-hat. It had a slightly domed top and a floppy edge. And a definite smell — Diana Wynne Jones

Howl said, "I think we ought to live happily ever after," and she thought he meant it. Sophie knew that living happily ever after with Howl would make a good deal more eventful than any story made it sound, though she was determined to try. "It should be hair-raising," added Howl. "And you'll exploit me," Sophie said. "And then you'll cut up all my suits to teach me," added Howl. — Diana Wynne Jones

A very short burst of thought was enough to convince Abdullah that his situation, despite the chains, would be very much worse if he became a toad. — Diana Wynne Jones

It was only when Shona, in sheer fury, turned the carnivorous sheep among them that they moved. They ran, some of them with charming little white sheep attached to their legs or backsides and the rest shouting about monsters. — Diana Wynne Jones

Charles realized that if he were going to apologize to Chrestomanci, he had better do it at once. He turned around to say it. But the folds had already rippled flat and nothing was the same anymore ... — Diana Wynne Jones

I find it just simply takes me right back to those times, and I really can't take it, I don't want to, I mean, why should I face up to it? What good does it do me? I know it happened, and that's it. — Diana Wynne Jones

Female Mercenary. This will be a companion on your Tour. She is usually tall, thin and wiry, silent, and neurotic. Sex scares her. This is because she either came from a nunnery or was raped as a child. Or both. Somehow this inspired her to become a mercenary and she is very good at her job. You can rely on her absolutely in a fight. She can usually kill two people at once while guarding your back in between. The rest of the time, she will irritate you with lots of punctilious weapons cleaning and a perpetual insistence that a proper watch be kept. Mostly, she will have no magic talents, but sometimes, in an emergency, she will come up with a gift or vision. You will end up grudgingly admiring her. — Diana Wynne Jones

It was odd. As a girl, Sophie would have shriveled with embarrassment at the way she was behaving. As an old woman, she did not mind what she did or said. She found that a great relief. — Diana Wynne Jones

Funny the way it was never enough to swear and promise just the once. You seemed to have to rethink and repromise every time the subject came up. — Diana Wynne Jones

No! No!" the star crackled desperately. "That's wrong! I'm supposed to die!" "But I could save you if you'd let me catch you," Michael told it gently. "No!" cried the star. "I'd rather die!" It dived away from Michael's fingers. Michael plunged for it, but it was too quick for him. It swooped for the nearest marsh pool, and the black water leaped into a blaze of whiteness for just an instant. Then there was a small, dying sizzle. When Sophie hobbled over, Michael was standing watching the last light fade out of a little round lump under the dark water. "That was sad," Sophie said. — Diana Wynne Jones

I feel ill," he announced. "I'm going to bed, where I may die." He tottered piteously to the stairs. "Bury me beside Mrs. Pentstemmon," he croaked as he went up then to bed. — Diana Wynne Jones

Hope is the forward-looking part of memory. — Diana Wynne Jones

Nobody can buy a hat without gossiping. — Diana Wynne Jones

Pie in a bed of raw onions. Human skull looking put-upon.
Howl — Diana Wynne Jones

Somewhere in the lane after that they came level with a small door next to a fried chicken shop. There was a small red-lit sign over this door. — Diana Wynne Jones

Tell me of this wizard Howl of yours."
Sophie's teeth chattered, but she said proudly, "He's the best wizard in Ingary or anywhere else. If he'd only had time, he would have defeated that djinn. And he's sly and selfish and vain as a peacock and cowardly, and you can't pin him down to do anything."
"Indded?" asked Abdullah. "Strange that you should speak so proudly such a list of vices, most loving of ladies."
"What do you mean, vices?" Sophie asked angrily. "I was just describing Howl! — Diana Wynne Jones

He held out his hand to Sophie, just like Mrs. Pentstemmon, but a little less royally. Sophie levered herself up, wondering if she was meant to kiss this hand or not. But since she felt more like raising her stick and beating the King over the head with it, she shook the King's hand and gave a creaking little curtsy. — Diana Wynne Jones

Calcifer," Sophie said, "I shall have to break your contract. Will it kill you?" "It would if anyone else broke it," Calcifer said hoarsely. "That's why I asked you to do it. — Diana Wynne Jones

Don't interrupt,' one of the boys said. 'He'll lose his life.'
Seeing it was a matter of life and death, Sophie and Michael backed toward the door. But Howl, quite unperturbed at killing his nephew, strode over to the wall and pulled the boxes up by the roots. — Diana Wynne Jones

All I did was ask you for a role-playing game. You never warned me I'd be pitched into it for real! And I asked you for hobbits on a grail quest, and not one hobbit have I seen! — Diana Wynne Jones

Wizard Howl," said Wizard Suliman. "I must apologize for trying to bite you so often. In the normal way, I wouldn't dream of setting teeth in a fellow countryman. — Diana Wynne Jones

You people keep spoiling my plans. First Wizard Suliman would not come near the Waste, so that I had to threaten Princess Valeria in order to make the King order him out here. Then, when he came, he grew trees. — Diana Wynne Jones

I'm going up to my room now, where I may die. — Diana Wynne Jones

There are no rules. Only principles and natural laws. — Diana Wynne Jones

I'm beginning to think I've led a much too sheltered life. — Diana Wynne Jones

And said grace in Welsh. It was all rolling, thundering language. — Diana Wynne Jones

The most interesting thing was the talk from the customers. Nobody can buy a hat without gossiping. Sophie sat in her alcove and stitched and heard [ ... ] that Wizard Howl's castle had moved round to the cliffs again, really that man, whisper, whisper, whisper ... The voices always dropped low when they talked of Wizard Howl, [ ... ] Then there would be a fleeting, fearful whisper about the Witch of the Waste.
Sophie began to feel that Wizard Howl and the Witch of the Waste should get together. — Diana Wynne Jones

All these things that crib and cab in your brain, in your imagination, are in fact things that might well in later life drive you insane. — Diana Wynne Jones

After that, all the while Millie was eating the pudding ... we both tore Christopher's character to shreds. It was wonderful fun ... He drove everyone mad in Chrestomanci Castle by insisting on silk shirts and exactly the right kind of pajamas. 'And he could get them right anyway by magic,' Millie told me, 'if he wasn't too lazy to learn how ... But the thing that really annoys me is the way he never bothers to learn a person's name. If a person isn't important to him, he always forgets their name.'
When Millie said this, I realized that Christopher had never once forgotten my name ... — Diana Wynne Jones

Doors are very powerful things. Things are different on either side of them. — Diana Wynne Jones

He started every entry with I got up. It meant, I hate this school. When he wrote I do not like porridge, that was actually true, but porridge was his code-word for Simon Silverson. Simon was porridge at breakfast, potatoes at lunch, and bread at tea. All the other other he hated had code-words too. Dan Smith was cornflakes, cabbage, and butter. Theresa was milk. — Diana Wynne Jones

Beauty isn't made of sugar. — Diana Wynne Jones

Imagination doesn't just mean making things up. It means thinking things through, solving them, or hoping to do so, and being just distant enough to be able to laugh at things that are normally painful. Head teachers would call this escapism, but they would be entirely wrong. I would call fantasy the most serious, and the most useful, branch of writing there is. And this is why I don't, and never would, write Real Books. — Diana Wynne Jones

This is the mythosphere. It's made up of all the stories, theories and beliefs, legends, myths and hopes, that are generated here on Earth. As you can see, it's constantly growing and moving as people invent new tales to tell or find new things to believe. The older strands move out to become these spirals, where things tend to become quite crude and dangerous. They've hardened off, you see. — Diana Wynne Jones

It's a lucky child that knows that they're a genius, unaimed and all that. — Diana Wynne Jones

After this, Boy became very curious about the mansion where the clothes and the food came from. He made me describe everything. Then he asked Good Thing 'Are there books in this mansion, too?'
'And pictures and jewels,' Good Thing said through me. 'What does Master wish me to fetch? There is a golden harp, a musical box like a bird, a - '
'Just books,' said Boy. 'I need to learn. I'm still so ignorant. — Diana Wynne Jones

But most dragons seem to have interesting personalities
besides probably having quite good reasons for what they do, if only one could understand them — Diana Wynne Jones

It does seem that a fantasy, working out in its own terms, stretching you beyond the normal concerns of your own life, gains you a peculiar charge of energy which inexplicably enriches you. At least, this is my ideal of a fantasy, and I am always trying to write it. — Diana Wynne Jones

Before long, everyone was giving him answers, and feeling a little superior, because it was really remarkable the number of things Chrestomanci seemed not to know. He had heard of Hitler, though he asked Brian to refresh his memory about him, but he had only the haziest notion about Gandhi or Einstein, and he had never heard of Walt Disney or reggae. — Diana Wynne Jones

I assure you, my friends, I am cone sold stober. — Diana Wynne Jones

People are wrong when they say things like, "I didn't have time to think." If you're really worried, or really miserable, those feelings come welling up around the edges of the other things you're doing, so that you are in the feelings even when you're working hard at something else. — Diana Wynne Jones

Sophie said a bad word. In the dim light she had stubbed her toe on one of the many dusty bricks piled around the place.
Naughty-naughty" Twinkle said.
Oh shut up!" Sophie said , standing on one leg to hold her toe. "Why don't you grow up? — Diana Wynne Jones

I only want to catch you," Michael explained. "I won't hurt you."
"No! No!" the star crackled desperately. "That's wrong! I'm supposed to die!"
"But I could save you if you'd let me catch you," Michael told it gently.
"No!" cried the star. "I'd rather die! — Diana Wynne Jones

Happiness isn't a thing. You can't go out and get it like a cup of tea. It's the way you feel about things. — Diana Wynne Jones

Jamal stared at the dog in his arms. Why I am I holding a dog full of angels? — Diana Wynne Jones

It was a perfectly normal May Day, but Sophie was scared of that too. And when a young man in a fantastical blue-and-silver costume spotted Sophie and decided to accost her as well, Sophie shrank into a shop doorway and tried to hide. The young man looked at her in surprise. "It's all right, you little gray mouse," he said laughing rather pityingly. "I only want to buy you a drink. Don't look so scared. — Diana Wynne Jones

O most excellent of carpets," he said, "O brightest-colored and most delicately woven, whose lovely textile is so cunningly enhanced with magic, I fear I have not treated you hitherto with proper respect. I have snapped commands and even shouted at you, where I now see that your gentle nature requires only the mildest of requests. Forgive, oh, forgive! — Diana Wynne Jones