Conrad Wesselhoeft Quotes & Sayings
Enjoy the top 6 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Conrad Wesselhoeft.
Famous Quotes By Conrad Wesselhoeft
That's the secret--to close your hand on jagged glass, then open it and find a butterfly. — Conrad Wesselhoeft
I climb out of the Jacuzzi, go to the edge of the pool, curl my toes around the border tiles, and do a standing flip, which I pretzel into a can opener, leaning back just far enough to truly propel a geyser but not so far as to hit my head.
Going under, I hear maximal vacuum suckage. Everything shudders. An aquatic bomb explodes. I surface to see that I have drenched half the banshees.
They stare at me in saucer-eyed wonderment, because I have just done in one dive what they have failed to do in a hundred- shellacked the ceiling, which is now dripping wet, especially around the central light fixture.
I'm kind of disguted with myself for showing off, but it's important to let them know that there are standards in the world. — Conrad Wesselhoeft
Our Father who art on Delridge Avenue, give us this day our daily bread. Only make it pumpernickel and slap on some French's mustard and cucumber chips. — Conrad Wesselhoeft
Opposites blur and become one. If you open your mind, that is. — Conrad Wesselhoeft
To live is to swim toward the shimmer, to die is to never try. — Conrad Wesselhoeft
Everybody's wondering, how can I arrange the daisies and dandelions of my life into a better bouquet? The answer is, you can't. Life is random. Life is absurd. Life is deadly. The bouquet arranges itself. And it doesn't always bloom or smell good. — Conrad Wesselhoeft