Chelsea Ballinger Quotes & Sayings

Are you trying to call me strange, Mandrake?" I pout playfully.

He nods. "Your strange is what makes you sensational to me. — Chelsea Ballinger

I've been surrounded by nitwits my entire life. — Chelsea Ballinger

You know, I gave you the benefit of the doubt earlier when I first encountered you, the raging beast - oh I mean bitch. But now
I truly think that if greats who devoted themselves and achieved in some way at killing evil with kindness like Martin Luther King, Gandhi, Mandela, Mother Teresa, well I think if any of them met you... they truly would break that seal of devotion and beat the bloody shit out of you."
"I take that as a compliment."
"Oh, I know you do. — Chelsea Ballinger

It's supernatural, hard to explain it any further. — Chelsea Ballinger

I know, but still. Hear this now, Mina," he paused. "You are the truest of truths and in some alternate universe where people could be whatever they wanted, you would be Queen. — Chelsea Ballinger

She fell down fifty-five floors. It took 10.6 seconds for her to hit the ground. It took my father forty-eight hours to come back home from his business trip in Sweden. — Chelsea Ballinger

I hear your voice in my sleep. When I'm near you, I am aware of every fucking second your body shifts. When I'm not near you... I can't even think straight because I'm too busy thinking about what stupid thing you said or visualizing every smile you give me. Seeing you with my brother awakens my dark heart... kissing you, carves out my soul. I forsake every itch my body has for you just so I cannot be trapped by you. Never in my life have I wanted a woman so much yet couldn't do it because I know that once we really just..." I lift my hands up clawing at the air. "When we sink into each other... it will be over. — Chelsea Ballinger

Us women, no matter how crude we are with one another,we must always remember that we have two enemies in common."
The three of us look at each other confused, then back at Ms. Eleanor waiting for her to answer.
"Men," she sighs, still staring off. "And old age. — Chelsea Ballinger

My future in-laws are out shopping and plotting my demise, I suppose. — Chelsea Ballinger

I think I am more prone to mistrust kindness than something that is obviously bad. — Chelsea Ballinger

Life is a slow burning trial that is unbalanced and at risk. Anything could ruin it, but it's about what you do with that ruin. It's like hair. You can cut it, but it will grow back and it is possible that it won't grow back the same way it was before, but it doesn't matter as long as it still grows. So don't dwell on the ruin, Louie. Make something out of it. — Chelsea Ballinger

Crying is good for the soul, or so they say. — Chelsea Ballinger

Hugo, we are taught to be advanced in every form from academically to socially. I think our parents fucked it up, taking that advancement for granted. They wanted us to grow up with everything and in return of that we became spoiled. — Chelsea Ballinger